I don't know who I am anymore.

In my past life, I have endured the abuse and suffering brought on by the people I saw as friends and family. Because I endured, I shut off my emotions. Because I forgot my emotions, I never felt empathy. Because I lost my empathy, I forgot what it meant to be human.

Even if I'm spirited away to another world, I already lost everything. My dreams... My drive... My love...

A certain person told me I had to give up my humanity to regain it. But the question is how? It's not like I can be rewarded just by throwing it away.

Well, it's not like I can get my answers by idling. I'm already losing bits and pieces of myself as another minute passes. Besides, I'm starting to get used to not thinking of any complications.

Whatever I become doesn't matter in the end.

I'm just happy at this second chance.

----------------------------------------

I gasped as I stopped running through the trees. How long was I running?

I know that Aster and Casia mean very well to me. They even offered me food and play around their garden, something my parents wouldn't let me do back home. But I missed them and I want to see them again. Besides, they haven't told me why I have to stay in the Demon Territory. Said something about a "ritual". Still, they didn't say I don't have to go back as part of it. I don't know how I can go back from here, but I want to see Mom and Dad again.

"Do you want to go back to them?"

That voice... I turn around and see...

"Aster? But I thought you said you can't fly yet. How did you get here?"

To my surprise, Aster starts to chuckle. But not in a funny way.

"Fly? I did what any normal person would do: I walk." He then hums while scratching his chin. "And why did you call me "Aster"?"

"Uh... That's because it's your name?"

Weird... Did he forget his name or something?

"Aster... Aster... Hmmm... Oh, yeah! You're talking about my partner, right? He was raving about you back in my lab. I wanted to meet you so badly that I almost messed up my experiment. Almost blew off the ground floor."

I tilt my head. I don't know what's gotten into him.

"Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself." The boy who claimed to look like Aster bowed to me. "My name is Vander. I am the Master of the Lavender Mansion. I share the title with Aster, though he might take a while to reach to my level. Now as for your parents and your village, you shouldn't go back to them."

Huh? What did he say? I can't go back to them. I can't believe what this Vander kid was saying!

"No, you're wrong! Mom and Dad might be worried about me! I want to stay here, but I can't leave them alone along with my friends in the village! This place is not as scary as I thought, but that doesn't mean I have to abandon them!"

"I get you're homesick, but there's no point in coming back to them, kid. Your folks abandoned you here for a good reason to them and the village and if you have a chance to go back, you will only be greeted with pitchforks and knives on your back."

Knives...on my back? I can't understand everything he said! I don't know why he kept saying that scary stuff, but I know my parents! They won't hurt me! They want me back and I don't want to worry them any longer!

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know what you're saying and I don't want to know more about it. If you see Aster again, tell him I'm sorry for running away. But I need to go back. I want to see my parents again. I want to see my friends again! A-And you can't stop me!"

That's all I can say to him before I run off. I feel bad for not saying goodbye, but I need to go back. I need to...

"Is that what you want? Or is that what you want to believe?"

I gasp as I look up and see Vander in front of me. But how did he do that? He was standing right behind me when I ran in the other direction.

"You keep saying that you knew your parents. You know they won't hurt you once you come back to them. But is that all true? Or are those statements nothing more than products of your denial?"

"...Huh?"

"When you suddenly dropped into a dreaded world filled with demons and death, what were your first thoughts? You wondered why the people you called "parents" and "friends" left you here without anything to survive alone. You questioned what was the purpose of abandoning you in a world that is coming to kill you in every direction. You denied the fact you were nothing more than fodder for their so-called ritual. A ritual that does nothing but murder innocent human children for the harvests that were determined by their efforts and luck."

Stop...

"Then you start to feel an emotion you never felt before. Anger. Rage at the thought you might have done something wrong that deserved your unannounced banishment. Rage at how you might have angered everyone for some reason that no one bothered to tell you."

Stop it...

"After that, you bargain yourself under the belief that everything was fine. You bargained with me and Casia to go back and when that failed, you prayed that your parents would find you if you attempted to go back on foot. Yet you start to ask yourself. How would you feel if you left us while you recklessly died under the demon's maw so you could go back to your heartless parents?"

No... They are not...

"Then I have to ask one more thing: Do they even care for you? Not only as their son, but as a human being?"

That's...!

"*$)%..."

Huh? That voice...

I turn around and I gasp to see I'm not in the dark forest anymore! Instead, I'm right in front of my house! The raggedy brown roof, some old wooden furniture, and the garden behind me! I don't know how, but I'm finally back home...

"Cruz! Come over here!"

That's Mom's voice. I quickly went inside to see her and Dad again! I can't wait to tell them about the dragon an-

"What the hell is this?"

I stopped when I arrived. Mom and Dad are right there. But for some reason, they are glaring at me and they don't seem to be happy to see me. I don't know why, but I only look at the floor where Mom is pointing.

"Uh... A broken vase?" I answered in confusion.

"Uh-huh... And do you know how much I spent on the whole house?"

I have no idea. I did recall I broke that very same vase. But I didn't mean t-

SLAP!

H-Huh?

"We're asking a question here! Or are you too stupid to realize it cost us about 25,000 gold for that vase?!"

That's the same thing she said after I broke the vase. Something isn't right. I don't think they're acting like my Mom and Dad. Or was it because they're repeating the same things before?

SLAP!

My Dad slapped me again. I can feel the stinging pain on my cheeks. The same pain from before.

No, this isn't right! They aren't my parents! They are fakes! They...

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

"Honestly, what the hell are you trying to do in this household?! We've been working our ass off to get the harvest done. But you're doing nothing but run around like a dumbass and ruin everything!"

B-But that's not... I didn't mean to...

"Honestly, what's the point of keeping you here anyway? We would have moved out from this shitty village and called abortion if it wasn't for the so-called traditions grandpa kept raving about."

"Well, we won't keep him for a while longer. Once the ritual comes around, we can get rid of him and get all of the harvests enough to make us rich."

No... No!!! That's not true!!! They're not real!!! Those people are fakes! My parents won't say those mean words to me!

Are they now?

Huh? V-Vander?

It's true that they didn't make those hurtful comments to you. However, you're still a child and you tend to miss important details because of it. However, your ears and memory don't lie and it seems they didn't care about filtering their words all because you're nothing but an annoying child to their eyes.

B-But... They're my parents... They won't...

Look. I don't want to hurt you. But if you keep running away from the truth, you will only find despair at the end of the forest. Is it worth the pain to gain validation from the people who don't deserve to be called your parents?

I-i don't... But...

"How many times do I have to tell you not to trample the wheat?!"

M-Mom?

"Again? Damn, when will that brat ever learn?"

Dad?!

I quickly look up to see if those fakes are saying those mean things about me. But I gasp to see that they're gone. I look around the house to find them. Then...

SLAP!

I feel another pain in my cheek.

"When your mother said you don't run around the garden, you follow it!"

"B-But Dad..."

Was that my voice?

SLAP!

What the?! I didn't see my parents. But I still feel that pain again!

That...familiar stinging pain...

"We didn't raise you to disobey us! What's the point of you being our kid if you do nothing but run around like a rat?!"

A rat... I'm not a rat. Why am I hearing my parents again? Why...am I starting to remember them?

No! They're not real! They don't say mean things.

They don't... They...

They don't say anything nice to me...

I remember... The other kids have their Moms and Dads with them. They didn't yell at them when they did wrong and gave them wooden toys that I never had. My Mom and Dad never do all of that. They ignore me. They yelled at me when I tried to play outside. They lock the door when I break something in the house without lunch and dinner. I don't know if they even care about me.

Not even your "friends"?

My friends?

"Hey, why are you sitting around there for, leftover?"

I look up and to my surprise, I'm not in my house anymore. Instead, I'm sitting outside with some kids in the village. I don't remember their names, but I remember the kid with a red shirt was the leader. I know they wanted to play with me...

"Man... He doesn't seem to listen, does he?"

"He must have earwax clogging his ears, *$*@."

"Nonsense! I bet he's here because he wanted to join us for a game."

A...game? No, I'm here because...

"Hey, #*@)! How about a game of ball?"

Game...of ball?

"Yeah! We throw rocks as "balls" to monsters. And guess what?"

I gasped when I saw the kids pick up a few stones with big scary grins on their faces.

"You're the "monster"."

I quickly cover my face as they start throwing rocks at me. Every rock they threw was too painful. I tried to scream, but they just kept laughing at me to the point they couldn't hear me. I tried to scream at the adults around me, but they couldn't hear me. Even when I tried to cry louder, they only looked at me with weird looks in their eyes. It's as if they see me as a monster, too.

A...monster... Is that what they see in me? Am I really like trash to them? And what about my parents? Do they also see me as a monster?

"Useless brat."

I'm not useless.

"I didn't ask to have a useless child! You're only here because you have an important role in the village! So stop bothering us and stay in your room like any other good kid!"

Mom...

"Stop whining, brat. It's only a scratch. Then again, what's the point of you becoming an adventurer if you can do nothing but become the Demon's Bait."

Dad...

I can't believe that's what you all think of me. I thought you were my Mom and Dad. Not only that.

"I can't believe he's only here for a ritual. He doesn't look like one of the rich kids from the big cities."

"And he doesn't look like adventurer material to me, too."

"At least he's too gullible. That gives us enough fun for us to mess him around before the ritual. Hahahaha!"

The other kids...

"How long till the ritual? That brat does nothing but cry."

"All the good that he does is cry. I'm glad that Crybaby was chosen for this year's ritual. He's useless."

And the village, too...

No matter what I do, they keep seeing me as a "useless brat". I tried to be obedient, but Mom and Dad shrug me off. I tried to be friends with the kids, but they only hurt me instead.

Maybe they're right. I'm only here because of that "ritual" they mentioned. They didn't care about me. I'm only saying all of that because I never get to have the love from other parents.

I deserved to be in this dark forest. I deserved to bother them too much. Maybe I am...

"Someone deserving to be loved."

To be...loved? But...

"Like I believe those rubbish your so-called beloved parents and villages told you. They abandoned you here because they only see you as trash. That's the undeniable truth."

But you heard what they said, Vander. I am nothing but useless to them.

"The only ones who are useless are the villagers."

Even if you say that, I can't lie that they are nice. I am a crybaby and...

Huh? I look up and rather than seeing the kids, I see Vander smiling. But not in a way that only laughs at me. It's like any other parents smile at their kids back home.

"They only see you as demon bait. But to me, Aster, and Casia, you're something more. You may be weak in strength, but with the right people supporting you, you can become something greater."

Greater?

"Well, I'm not a psychic. But all I can say is your parents and those villagers are complete idiots thinking you're nothing more than trash." He suddenly grabbed my hand and started dragging me out of the ground. "Hell, I have a feeling you were born in the wrong life."

Huh?

"I have to ask. Do you want to want to be reborn away from your abusive life?"

R-Reborn?

I feel like I shouldn't trust him. But there is something in my gut that he's not as mean as my parents or those kids. Aster let me play in the garden. Casia never yelled at me when I fell and he gave me delicious food that Mom and Dad always ate and I don't. They aren't my parents, but they are kind. But they're demons. I'm bait, so why didn't they hurt me yet?

"I was like you once. My past may have disappeared, but the wounds from it are still lingering in my heart. I cannot promise you will have a peaceful life in the Demon Territory. But I promise you that you will never experience the pain of negligence and loneliness. You will have us as your family. The family who will care for you and never abandon you for anything materialistic."

I...won't be lonely again. I won't be locked away in my room again. They were my parents and I don't belong in this world. But this world gave me food, play, and love that I could never get back home.

"You...won't abandon me... Like my parents...and the adults and kids in the village... Right?"

I feel like this is too good to be true. I thought there was a catch to all of this. But then, Vander comes up to me and hugs me. He isn't my parents. But his hug was so warm that I almost fell asleep. I can feel something watery in my eyes. It's not the one I felt when I got yelled at by everyone. No, I feel happy hugging him. I'm happy that he's not yelling at me or throwing me out of his house.

This...is what I want. A warm hug. And I don't want to let go of it.

"Follow my voice then. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe through your nose and stomach and breathe out through your mouth. Do not stop breathing until I say so."

I don't know why he asked me that, but I decided to follow his instructions. When I breathe in, I feel relieved. When I breathe out, I feel like all of my sadness disappeared.

"As you continue breathing, breathe out all of the thoughts of your parents and village. After that, breathe in your hopes and aspirations that you can never achieve with them. The dreams you will achieve with us."

I kept breathing like Vander asked. But I stopped for a while to ask something to him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"...Do I need a reason to help a friend of ours?"

Huh? I'm...his friend? Nobody calls me their friend like that.

"To tell you the truth, the only people I talked to were Aster and Casia. I cared for them like my own family, but I feel like I'm all alone without them. I don't know who am I and I don't know who is the real Aster. Because of that, I don't know if there are kids like me who lost their way." Vander grabs his shirt on his chest and I notice him tightening his grip on it. "So when I met you and learned of the circumstances behind your appearance here, I felt like we might have shared the same burden and fate."

The same fate... I don't know what it means, but I feel like he might be right. My parents don't care about me. The village kids don't care about me. The adults don't care about me. But him, Aster, and Casia... They are not like them. They gave me everything I wanted and loved me like all other parents do.

Why am I wishing to go back to the village at all? Vander is right. I don't want to go back anymore. I have no reason to go back to those mean people and my parents who would never treat me like a kid. I want to cry again, but I want to keep breathing for him. However, I smiled as he started patting my head. The one that I couldn't get from my parents.

"Casia, Aster, and I will make sure you are never alone. Because you are neither trash nor useless. To us, you are a dragon waiting to breathe his first fire. I won't promise you vengeance against your tormentors. But I promise you will have the life of love and care you should deserve. We will become your true family, Gabriel."

Gabriel... That's not my real name. But it doesn't matter. My real name was the one my parents gave me and I don't want it anymore.

I take a few more deep breaths. I let go of everything related to my village.

I won't go back anymore. This world is my real home and the House of Lavender is my real family.