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Twice Shy
The Insecurity Club

The Insecurity Club

A soft knock at the door drew Hilda's attention away from Jack. She opened the door and stared up at Kieran. "Mr. O'Byrne. We weren't expecting you," she said coldly.

"My presence was requested," Kieran stiffly replied.

"He's my ride," Jack added. He edged closer to the door. He was almost free. Free from one set of vampires and into the clutches of another one. He really shouldn't think of his boyfriend like that.

Hilda kept her eyes on Kieran, reminding Jack of the receptionist at the police station. He couldn't help but wonder what sort of bad blood there was between them. It had to extend beyond supposedly breaking Augie's heart.

"Sorry," he mumbled. He edged around Hilda and avoided her stare.

"Good day, Mr. Elster," Hilda said before closing the door, securing the house against whatever evils Kieran would surely bring.

Jack hoped he wasn't automatically guilty by association in Hilda's eyes. He didn't need poisoned cake in his future. He flinched sharply when Kieran touched his shoulder. He glanced up and shook his head. "Sorry."

"It's alright, my sweet," Kieran said and motioned to his car. He held the door open for Jack as his gaze lingered on Benoit's house.

"Sorry," Jack repeated when Kieran got in and started the engine. He shrugged and tilted his head toward the house. "I wasn't expecting Augie to be there. I mean, I knew it was a possibility, and I wanted to see him kicked down a notch, but… Just a lot. Right now. Stuff happening. It's not you. You're good."

"What can I do that might help?" Kieran softly asked.

"I dunno." Being reassured that there wasn't a time limit on their relationship would help, but Jack couldn't ask for that and believe it. Maybe he'd feel better if Augie had said he'd try again in eighty years, but even that would reinforce how little of an impact he had in the grand scheme of things. A little flash in the pan of someone else's life, and would they even notice him or care when he was dead and gone?

"Would touch help to…ground you?"

Jack glanced at Kieran's hand, resting on the stick shift. He frowned as his thoughts took a different turn. He knew how to drive. At least, he was pretty sure he did. He had a real driver's license, not a state ID. Or was it just a state ID? What did they give him the last time he renewed? He wasn't required to take a test. But if they ever required him to take a test again, would he pass? Would it all come back? His feet had a habit of seeking pedals that didn't exist when Candace gave him rides.

"...sweet? Jack?"

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He blinked and pulled his eyes up to meet Kieran's. "I'm fine," he lied. He looked away from the doubtful frown. "I'll be… I'll be okay."

Kieran nodded with a shallow sigh and turned his attention to pulling out of Benoit's driveway.

Jack watched the gate close behind them in the side mirror. It didn't reassure him that Augie was somewhat locked away. At least his transgressions were on Benoit's radar, and she was siding with Jack. It wasn't a lot, but it was something.

A little voice in his head told him it was only because of what he was. Vampires didn't actually like him, they only liked what he had to offer. They would do anything to keep him around. Farragut screwed up his head so much that he could barely function on his own, Augie had eagerly suggested a threesome, and even Kieran had altered his own behaviors to keep Jack appeased.

How did he know Augie and Benoit weren't conspiring behind his back?

"Should I worry about whatever it is you're mulling over?" Kieran asked.

Jack's eyes followed the houses as they passed by. He should have been walking by them, not getting a ride. Not getting all his plans thrown off thanks to his stress getting the best of him. Yet here he was, being rescued by someone whose presence should be like a balm, not the cherry on top of his spiraling insecurity.

"Why do you think I'm sticking around?" he asked. He looked to Kieran for an answer. "Like, gimme your worst assumption. Even if I said it's not true. I kinda need that right now."

The more members there were in the Insecurity Club, the better.

"I've become familiar to your routine, and that makes me an easy and reliable choice. I'm the lesser of some evils in the world, and I offer a level of protection. For the moment, I'm useful." Kieran glanced at Jack out of the corner of his eye. "I'm visually pleasant company for a relatively low cost. Reciting poetry is another skill. Come spring, there will be a roof garden. It's not a fireplace, but a trellis can be just as romantic."

Jack looked away and rested his head against the window. A list of insecurities with a tacked on bonus at the end. Everything was kind of true, but there was so much more to it. "Yeah, so I kinda did imply all that shit," he said. His breath fogged over the window, and he was tempted to draw a sad face. He turned his head back to Kieran. "Wow. Okay. I did say that's not the reason. Right? I think I did, but you know me and my, uh, yeah."

"You did. I have my own demons, sweet thing."

"So you're not just keeping me around because I smell good?"

"Your scent is enjoyable. I won't deny that. But so are your looks and your intelligence." Kieran paused and let out a tiny huff. "I suppose I should say I appreciate your willingness to put me in my place, but I'd rather not."

"Okay. Um, thanks for reassuring me? That's a nice perk? If it's real."

"It's very real. You owe me nothing."

Jack stared at his hands as he picked at his hangnails. He laced his fingers tightly together to prevent himself from doing much more damage. He needed to start wearing his gloves more often. He tugged out a length of seatbelt and chewed on his bottom lip in thought. "Not to make you question everything, but, uh, what's a trellis, and why do I want one?"

Kieran chuckled and tapped his fingers along the steering wheel. "In its most basic form, it's a bit of wood that allows plants to climb up. I had in mind an archway with roses."

"Yeah, I definitely want that. And lights." At the next stop light, Jack leaned over and kissed Kieran's cheek, retreating before it could be returned.

image [https://i.imgur.com/eZY0YUq.png]