"No, I did not rip him a new one," Sam said, a hint of annoyance lingering over the phone.

"You hung up on him," Jack pointed out. He watched as Kieran headed for the murder stairs, frowning down at his phone. He wondered if he should move from the couch to the study. He didn't need Sam on his case if Thomas showed up and was the sort to loudly announce his arrival. But he was comfortably sprawled out and in the middle of hunting down a movie to watch.

"The conversation was done, and he was being annoying."

Kieran being annoying had nothing to do with it. Jack had yet to be hung up on by Sam, and he knew how bad he got when he was spiraling. "Nothing to do with the donation, right?"

The long pause on the other end answered his question. Jack flipped through various listings of Christmas movies as he waited for Sam's denial. Were there any vampire Christmas movies out there? He didn't want to risk putting Sam on speaker just so he could do a proper search.

"Yeah, thank him for the thoughtful Christmas gift," Sam replied with forced cheer. "Yours is still here. I'm holding it hostage."

At least it was a hostage Jack could live without. "I'm fine. I don't need anything."

"I'll hang onto it until I see you next."

"Don't hold your breath. It's gonna be…" He trailed off as he looked over when the door opened, revealing Thomas in all his Chicago gangster glory. He was thankful for the silence and nodded in acknowledgment of Thomas's waving fingers. He was less thankful for the oversized gift basket that pushed Thomas further into the room. "Gotta go."

"Not liking how you said that."

Jack narrowed his eyes as Kieran brought the monstrosity to the coffee table. Red cellophane and gold ribbons enclosed a bouquet of roses and various shapes within a large wicker basket.

"From Augustin," Kieran said, setting the basket on the coffee table. He sneered down at it as he straightened up. He glanced at the television then back at Jack with a raised brow and a smirk.

The search for "vampire christmas" had been left in the search bar. Jack turned his attention back to his phone. He was allowed to look up weird things, and now he was even more determined to find something, anything, no matter how low its rating. "Nothing bad's happening. Augie's a dick, and he lived up to his promise and sent a gift basket. I should probably burn it."

"Jack…" It was the same drawn out way Sam always said it when he felt Jack needed to do something about his personal safety.

Jack groaned in frustration. "Not in a stalker way. In a stupid way. I think. I hope." Benoit wouldn't let Augie turn stalker. He had to hold onto the hope that she was one of the good ones.

"Very much so," Kieran said as he sat beside Jack. "I have matches, if you'd like."

"We have a fireplace," Sam offered.

"I'm not gonna burn it." The fumes would probably kill him if he tried. Jack didn't know if any part of the basket was toxic, but he wasn't about to push his luck. He turned the basket, taking a closer look at its contents. Hidden by the roses were boxes of fancy chocolates and a pair of wine bottles sitting in a nest of crinkled strips of paper. "This actually looks nice."

"I guarantee he didn't pick it out," Kieran said with a shake of his head. "He never was one for doing anything for himself."

There was a painful bitterness to Kieran's voice that Jack wasn't ready for. He looked over in time to catch Thomas's irritated glare being sent to the offending gift basket. Would it be insulting to pair the wine with shitty pizza and gloat about it? Would that help anyone besides himself?

He could ask about it later. Right now, he wanted to get Kieran back into a good mood. He sent a silent apology to Sam and lightly tapped Kieran's arm. "Sam says thanks for the donation in his name. He thinks it's a thoughtful Christmas gift."

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Kieran smiled as he leaned in. "Wonderful! I do know it's an uphill battle for those in certain occupations to garner good will from the public."

"Does your boyfriend wanna participate in some lineups?" Sam shot back.

Jack sighed. He only had himself to blame. "Do you wanna be part of a lineup?"

"Would it help? I wouldn't want to cause any undo distraction for witnesses. I'm told I can be rather distracting," Kieran said, his lips brushing the corner of Jack's mouth.

A nervous giggle escaped before Jack could stop it.

"Thought you weren't into distractions," Sam said, concern filling his voice. "You okay over there?"

"No, yes. I'm fine. I'm not being molested by my boyfriend. He's trying to get a rise out of you, not me." Jack closed his eyes and cringed into himself as Sam's and Kieran's laughter swept over him. With that sort of reaction, he would never admit to enjoying the teasing and lead up to what Sam has been implying. "See, this is why I called Candy. Tell her I don't wanna be handed off next time. Merry Christmas. Enjoy your presents."

"Merry Christmas," Sam chimed back.

Jack let out a sigh and slouched down with a miserable set to his shoulders. He looked at Kieran and gestured to his phone. "Why? Just why?"

"Yeah, what'd that guy ever do to you?" Thomas asked, throwing his coat over the back of the couch. He sat down, and Jack inched closer to Kieran. Gracefully taking the hint, he moved to lean into the corner. A box wrapped in sparkling blue paper dangled from his hand as he lightly swung it back and forth when he settled in.

"Detective Fairchild and myself have an understanding," Kieran said tightly.

"Oh." Thomas lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, fuck 'im."

No real questioning, just force loyalty. Thomas didn't have the full story, nor did he need it. Sam was loyal, but he asked questions that Jack didn't want the answers to.

"Here. For you," Thomas said as he handed Jack a thick envelope. He leaned over and set the sparkling blue box on the coffee table in front of Kieran. "And you."

Kieran picked up the box and weighed it in his hand before unwrapping it, sighing in dismay at the glitter being shed from the wrapping. He pulled out a canopic jar with a bird's head. "This looks nothing like the one you found in Cairo," he said with a deep fondness.

"It's just like Old Fred. I painted it myself. Aged it, too," Thomas said as he pointed to the jar. "Even added that little chip on his brow."

"It was the other brow. I'll place it next to its predecessor," Kieran said with a soft smile. He set the jar on the table and sighed as he placed the box beside it. He attempted to dust the glitter from his hands.

Jack popped open his envelope, wondering what the hell Thomas could have possibly thought would make a good gift for him. At least there was no glitter. He pulled out an owner's manual for an oven. "What is… What the fuck?"

"I've elevated your home from upscale crack den to one paycheck away from homelessness," Thomas proudly declared. "I had something of a manic episode last night, and it's spotless!"

"Thanks. I guess." Jack didn't feel particularly thankful. It was a weird gift, and he didn't have anything for Thomas.

"Oh. Uh… I hope I didn't toss out anything important. I put everything that didn't look like trash in some boxes. Lots of jewel cases. I broke down the electronics boxes and stuck those in a box. You never know when you need a good box. And the nicer bottles," Thomas said quickly. His shoulders dropped, and he folded his hands between his knees. "I didn't really throw out all that much."

"Wow. Thanks. I mean it." It made Jack feel better that he wasn't the only packrat-adjacent one out there. Even if the reasoning was different.

"Your landlord thinks we're cousins."

And he was back to feeling weird. "Great."

Thomas happily dismissed Jack's discomfort and pointed to the TV. "Does it have to be vampires, or can we watch Gremlins? I'm also partial to White Christmas. Or any musical. I'm also open to slashers. There's a giallo Christmas film if you're interested."

"A slasher might be a bit much," Jack said, his words feeling slow compared to Thomas's quick speech. How long were they stuck with company, and how was he supposed to ask? He was used to spending Christmas alone. Would he get weird looks if he holed up in the study?

"Musical it is! Local stations are boring right now, and I forgot to get one of those little doodads that let you watch things. I'll leave you two alone after. Daytime is for family, nighttime is for lovers."

"Okay?" Jack looked at Kieran. He was used to all the vampires he knew knowing about his lack of preferences, so Thomas being out of the loop was a curveball he wasn't ready for. He hoped Thomas wasn't the type to get gag gifts for couples.

"Thank you for your consideration, Thomas," Kieran said before kissing Jack's cheek. "He'll catch on quick enough. Don't fret my sweet," he whispered into Jack's ear.

image [https://i.imgur.com/eZY0YUq.png]