Kieran clenched his eyes shut and leaned fully on the doorjamb, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Wouldja kindly clarify what you're after?"

"Mind fuckery. Make me not care." The silence was overbearing as Jack waited for an answer. He just wanted a little reprieve from his thoughts, and someone who ran around sucking people's blood should be willing to give it.

Kieran dropped his hand and eyed Jack for a moment. "Are you being facetious?"

"No, I'm being desperate." Jack thought it was obvious. Why else would he be asking?

"Jack… Do you understand what you're asking?"

Did he? He wanted a good night's rest. He wanted to not care. He wanted what his meds promised and failed to give him. Even if it was only for five minutes, he'd take it. And if it happened to come wrapped up in the form of his stranger danger boyfriend? Well, some drugs looked like candy. But it would seem that the cost of getting what he wanted would be explaining himself.

"When I found out you were a vampire, I mean, when you fucked with me that night. I slept so fucking good. I want that again," he said, struggling to put his thoughts straight. "Unless, it doesn't work like that."

"I can help you relax."

"And it won't Renfield me?" He could recall Benoit mentioning something, and he wasn't all that into visiting the psych ward again.

"Only if you become reliant on it, or if I don't know what I'm doing," Kieran replied.

The weight of disappointment was heavy. But, it wasn't an outright no. Kieran was just giving Jack the label warnings. Just like any other legit medication. "So I'm halfway there because of Farragut, and you gotta watch what you do. Save it for really bad nights. Got it."

Kieran sighed and lightly shook his head. "Perhaps you should look into meditation."

Anger took the place of anxious worry. Just because he was eager for something that worked, didn't make him a junkie. "You were all for messing me up before! What gives?"

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"Normally, I would ease you out of the thrall, but your anxiety and previous experiences make it rather hard to use a light touch, and I have to tread very carefully," Kieran explained. "I had to...get in, get out, and try not to trip the alarm. Lingering brings more openings for questioning even though it helps ease the effects. And backtracking…" He broke off with a small huff. "Backtracking and going with the flow of thought without having to rely on forcing you to stay under is difficult. Especially with tangential thoughts."

The sharp stab of what Farragut had done made breathing difficult. Jack swallowed the thought back, reminding himself of a decapitated body and the image of a crispy corpse from the coroner's report that he finally got around to reading. It looked like a hangover was in his future. "Right. Got any vodka?"

Kieran stepped into the hallway, shaking his head. "You won't need it. I'll help you. I'm hoping you'll trust me enough to not fight it." He gave Jack a slight smile.

Being outright asked to trust another vampire so soon after another one poked around in his head gave Jack second thoughts. It wasn't that he didn't trust Kieran on some level - certainly more than the other vampires in his life. "Maybe it'll be like pot. If I know I'm taking it, it's fine. Surprise brownies? Kinda a fucked experience." He rubbed at his arm as his eyes flicked up to Kieran. "Sam doesn't trust baked goods anymore. Candy's...very hippy-dippy."

"I'll do my best to keep you aware of what's going on?" Kieran offered.

"You don't sound too sure about that."

Kieran winced and shook his head. "You're not meant to be aware of what's happening."

Jack sighed in dismay as he stared miserably up at Kieran. It was all pointless since he would just freak out the moment he realized what was going on. He wished he could just look into Kieran's pretty eyes and lose all his cares. He'd even take a little less anxiety.

Kieran had such nice, kind eyes. Pretty little flecks of green that popped in the right light. Like stupid little clovers. He wanted to know what they'd look like in the light from a fireplace. A nice cozy fireplace next to a comfy loveseat.

"Would you like to join me on the couch?" Kieran softly asked as he touched Jack's shoulder.

"Yeah, I like sitting next to you." Curling up next to Kieran would be a good consolation prize.

Kieran smiled and guided Jack down the hall and back into the living room. "Come, sweet thing. We'll sit and see how deep I can take you without causing you more stress."

"Heh, that's an innuendo."

"Intimacy on an entirely different level, yes," Kieran said as he helped Jack onto the couch.

Jack glanced up at Kieran and caught the fond smile directed at him. His stomach flipped. He had someone who was into him. Someone who paid attention to him when they went out, cared about his comfort, and let him be the socially inept freak that he was.

image [https://i.imgur.com/eZY0YUq.png]