Jack watched as Kieran perused the knickknacks on display in the window. Kieran looked so handsome and sharp in his white button up shirt, black slacks, and an honest-to-god vest. Jack could go out there and have a chat. Normal people did that. Plus, there were others around. He'd be safe.

But he'd already embarrassed himself with vomit and clumsiness. The last thing he needed was embarrassment over his lack of enthusiasm over a potential sexual partner. Someone who looked the way Kieran did was definitely getting laid on the regular. Jack could only imagine how awkward and insulting turning down the prospect of sex would be.

The option of talking with Kieran was quickly nixed.

Was it too late to hide? There was a waist high display case between him and the window with a collection of amethyst and quartz sitting atop it. He dropped down and poked Tara's leg.

Tara pulled her gaze away and looked down at Jack. Her lips pulled back as her brows furrowed. "The fuck are you doing?"

"That's the guy from the other night. Just tell me when he leaves," Jack whispered in reply. "I can't…" He trailed off with a heavy sigh, shaking his head.

The cashier leaned over and gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, pal, but he's coming in."

A soft whine escaped Jack when the door chimed. He hugged his knees to his chest as he listened to the cashier greet Kieran. How could she be so casual? Why was it so easy for everyone else?

Tara's leg pressed against his side, and he glanced up to find her poking around the amethyst. He leaned more into her and pressed his sleeves against his mouth as he breathed deeply, only catching bits of the conversation going on above him.

"Is something wrong?" Kieran asked.

"I'm fine!" Jack shouted. He clenched his eyes shut and buried his head in his knees. He should have kept his mouth shut. If he were lucky, a sinkhole would swallow up the store. He flinched as a hand touched his head. Long nails lightly scratched at his scalp, and he relaxed into Tara's touch.

Tara glared up at Kieran. "You wanna tell me why he's so freaked out about you?"

Jack stiffened and raised his head. He grabbed at Tara's hand and lightly tugged. "It's not him, it's me," he insisted. "I'm sorry."

"There's no reason for you to be sorry," Kieran said as he came around the corner and kept his distance. "Do you need me to leave?"

Jack quickly glanced over at Kieran then back to his knees. So much for avoiding embarrassment. He shook his head. "This…this isn't part of my routine," he quietly admitted.

"You don't owe him an explanation," Tara said as she got down and wrapped an arm around Jack's shoulders.

Kieran nodded as he looked away. "She's right, you know."

Jack curled further into himself. Why did Kieran have to be so understanding? Why couldn't he just be the creepy Stranger Danger his instincts insisted he was?

"I'll return some other time," Kieran said to the cashier.

Jack jolted and twisted to face Kieran. He was ruining someone else's day. "You don't gotta leave. I swear it's not you."

"But I'm not helping, am I?"

Jack ducked his head and stared at the floor.

Kieran sighed and looked away. He moved back to the door, and it chimed as he left.

Tara lightly squeezed Jack's shoulder. "You gonna be—"

"Damnit!" Jack forced himself to stand and waved off Tara's concern. "I gotta fix this."

"You don't gotta fix nothin'."

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"He's been nice to me so far, and I've been nothing but shitty." He kept fucking things up, and the selfish part of him wanted to keep Kieran's interest. He wanted to keep that understanding tone that had been directed at him. He wanted comfort. He didn't like that he'd have to work for it.

He should just give up and sit in the corner since he was so useless. Sit back and wait until—

He flinched when Tara squeezed his shoulder. He was going to do something. He looked at Tara, taking in her concerned frown.

"You do you, but call me when you get home," Tara said as she lightly patted his shoulder. "I'll be keeping an eye on you from the window."

Jack left the store and looked up and down the sidewalk, looking for any clue as to what he'd been planning to do. He found Kieran half a block away, looking in another shop window. He clutched his bag strap tightly and started towards Kieran. He was going to fix things. He could do this. He could get as close to starting over as possible. He faltered when Kieran looked over.

He tried to ignore the butterflies squirming about in his stomach when Kieran offered him a smile. His mind blanked when he came to a stop a couple feet away. How could he start a conversation? He couldn't exactly say "hello," and Kieran's expectant smile said the ball was firmly in Jack's court. "Kieran, right?"

"You remember."

"Yeah, well… It's pretty. Nice. It's pretty nice." Not a horrible start. Nothing that should keep him awake at night, mulling over random words for hours. He hoped not. He shouldn't have said "pretty." "Not that you're… I mean, yeah. Good name."

"If you're worried about my feelings, don't be. I've had plenty of time to grow a thick skin," Kieran said in amusement.

Jack shook his head and stared at Kieran's brightly polished shoes. "I'm not worried about that. I worry about stupid shit. Like how I keep looking like an asshole. I'm not. Usually."

Kieran laughed. "Oh, you are far from coming off as an asshole. Delightfully awkward, perhaps."

Jack glanced up and looked away. That was what his life had become. He was nothing more than an awkward joke.

"It's not an insult. I find it charming."

"It's not charming. You're charming. I mean… Well, okay. You are. To the point of it being suspicious," Jack said before he could stop himself. He winced and shoved his hands into his pockets. He may as well dig the rest of his grave. "Why would someone like you be interested in someone like me? You're way outta my league."

"I'll admit, my attraction to you is rooted in selfishness on my part," Kieran said with a careless shrug.

"I'm not easy, and I'm not desperate." Jack took a step back.

Kieran waved off Jack's concerns. "Nothing like that. I like to take care of others."

That was a confusing response. Jack didn't think he looked too much like a charity case, but then he remembered looking in the mirror. "You're a sugar daddy?"

Kieran covered his mouth as he laughed softly. "Oh, my… I suppose from some angle I am."

"I don't like owing people things," Jack said. He hoped Kieran would take the hint. Sex in exchange for dinner and a movie was not going to be a possibility.

"I wasn't aware dating was a business transaction," Kieran countered.

Jack snorted as a small bit of him unwound. "You'd be surprised." He shifted his weight as he looked around for an excuse to leave without it being too obvious. He did good, but he'd like to quit while he was ahead.

There was also a niggling feeling at the back of his head that he needed to leave before someone saw him with someone else. He glanced over at his reflection in the shop window, overlaid on a dress form showing off a poodle skirt. He blinked slowly as he took in Kieran's reflection as well. There were several reasons for him to leave, but he could only think of the one that said he didn't want to fuck up his progress.

Kieran eyed Jack for a moment then reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He selected a business card and held it out. "Here. My card. No obligation. No commitment. Just a chance."

Jack stared at the card and slowly reached out to take it. "Er… I'll think about it," he said as he took the card. "I guess I'll let you get back to window shopping?"

Kieran tipped his head. "I hope to hear from you."

"Yeah… Bye." Jack turned and managed to walk about ten steps, turning the card over in his hands.

Kieran O'Byrne

Antiques - Art - Appraisals

He ran his fingers over the raised emblem of a raven. He stopped and sighed. All reason safely locked away, he turned back and jogged up to Kieran.

"Forget something?"

"Just this." Ignoring the blaring sirens, he bounced to his toes and kissed the side of Kieran's mouth. "Thanks," he said, blushing brightly as he dropped back down. Was that too forward? Too hopeful?

"For what?" Kieran asked, dumbfounded.

"For still trying when everyone else just gives up," he replied, clenching and unclenching his fist. He gave Kieran a quick smile. He had to flee before his face suffered third degree burns. "I'm going now. For real. Bye again."

image [https://i.imgur.com/eZY0YUq.png]