Just lies, Tuya told herself, wincing at the sound of wood striking flesh, at Yaha’s cry.

Convincing lies, Yaha projected back. Her face stung, Tuya tried to soothe the pain, to make it small. Do not worry, Yaha thought to her, I can take a thousand smacks to the face from a thousand spear shafts if that is what it will take to leave this place forever.

“Keep moving, khorota!”

Tuya stumbled forward from his push, nearly slipping on the muddy ground. She caught herself against a nearby hollow where a little girl hid, her eyes low and her shape made small as she folded in on herself. A girl just like any other.

Keep moving, she told herself. Keep moving.

“Faster!” Darrakh barked. She saw the spear shaft lifting out of the corner of her eye and broke into a fast trot. “Don’t slow down again. Khorota.”

In all the time Darrakh had been in her region, Tuya never saw him like this. She could not look at him now without seeing all the other tamers in her life. It seems easy for him.

He is doing exactly what we asked of him, Yaha projected.

That, at least, was true. Tuya never imagined he would do it so well.

Darrakh fooled the other tamers nearby, fitting in like one of the thousands they would need to bypass to get beyond sight of Celegana’s Spire. Still, the towering mass seemed no smaller than it had at the start of the day.

We have made good ground today, Tuya. It is going to take days to leave the Spire behind us.

Days of Darrakh hitting you and shouting at me.

Days of putting space between where we started. The farther we go, the harder it will be for a chimaera to track us. Yaha forced herself to transmit optimism. Give me a thousand strikes from Darrakh instead of one bite from the Chimaera. Give me life with you instead of a death here.

Lies, Tuya knew. Yaha did not believe them, but they comforted Tuya all the same, made her pain smaller. Hells, it almost took her mind off the reality that her beloved was putting them through hell in order to escape it.

He loves you, Yaha thought. Another child of the sand and the Spire. This is not him.

There was no lie here. Yaha truly believed.

Of course, I do! If he was going to betray us, he would have done so already. We are all past the point of no return.

Another truth. There was no going back to the place they were before. No return to the relative peace of the previous season. Darrakh’s fate was bound to hers, just as she had dreamt of. I will endure this.

You will.

Tuya hoped those were not lies.

*************

The day seemed to never end. Interminable walking, always on edge, waiting for a tamer to recognize them, or to make a claim on her or Yaha. She smeared mud on her face, kept her eyes down, slouched, did everything she could to look broken and ugly, hoping none would want to risk themselves for her. They walked where the trees were smaller, and the holes more likely to hold little girls, but that was not always possible, and even if it was, tamers were wont to stomp into places where little girls hid from them with heads down. Were they to be too furtive, to veer away from oncoming tamers, they would only incite interest. She wanted to hunker down, to move by night using the light of her eyes. Alas, they were too close to where they began and Gurg would start hunting the moment he realized she was gone.

Thus, they kept moving, and moving, and moving, through terrain that was the same, colored by misery that was the same. Trees with holes, empty meadows, small, underfed girls, women who hid their eyes and worked despite their swollen stomachs, tamers pulsing with hatred and anger. Each region they went through felt the same, the same as her region before she changed it. With Celegana’s Spire looming over them, it felt like they were going nowhere, endlessly walking in circles with Gurgaldai always over their shoulder.

Use it, Yaha projected. Each of these girls has gone through many of the things you have and will continue to endure them. Remember them not as faceless nobodies, but as people in pain, people deserving of freedom, of love.

Tuya could not stare at their faces right now. She would not put them in harm or draw attention to herself. She passed the time, imagining what they might be named, picturing how they might live differently once she defeated the tamers, trying to will that future into existence. The day was long, but with this mindset she was able to keep moving.

Yaha kept herself moving too, sharing a mind with Tuya all the time. Fifty miles, she thought. Fifty miles. Yaha’s mind pictured something called a map, a thing that showed what places looked like if they were reduced to a small thing. In the faraway lands, they made these things to understand how and where to travel. Tuya struggled to imagine such things, tried to grasp being able to see big land as if it was small, like if seen by a bird high, high, high in the sky. No matter how much Yaha tried to explain them, understanding was elusive.

She could understand how it kept Yaha moving though. Tuya knew not the size of a mile, but Yaha thought it would take fifty of them to leave behind the Celegan Peninsula, to reach a region where they would be harder to track, where they could zig and zag south until they left behind the Hollows and reached the Great Atmana Forest.

Fifty miles through places that looked the same, with the same two trees. The trees with dark brown bark and wild branches and the massive trees with reddish bark and few low-hanging branches. Sometimes, the trees were packed on top of each other so tight that it was hard to navigate, impossible not to walk past the tamers patrolling their claimed and ordering them around. In other places, several body lengths separated trees from their nearest neighbor and one could see through the region and move more freely. Tuya kept her eyes down, stepping around or over the roots, sticks, and logs omnipresent in every region. Sometimes the land sloped, but most of the time it was flat. Sometimes rainwater pooled and left everything brown and muddy, but most of the time it was dry with untamed green. Tuya lost count of the streams they crossed, often stopping for Darrakh to growl at them to drink.

Morning passed into midday and midday approached evening. By midday, Tuya felt drained, and each step was a labor. This exhaustion confused her after having spent seasons of running and jumping and crawling and making her body strong. It made no sense.

This is the way we feel when we bleed, Yaha projected.

Bleed, Tuya did. Her hides accumulated more and more spots as each step reminded her of how sore and tired she was. I do not like this.

I know, Yaha thought. Yet, this is what allows us to have children.

I would rather not bleed than bring a child into this world.

Yaha’s amusement lifted Tuya’s lips. I was like that too, when I was newly bleeding like you.

You were?

Indeed, Tuya. Just because women in the Hollows rarely make it to twenty years does not mean I was not once a teenager who wanted nothing to do with raising a child and hated being slowed down for half a span every month.

Tuya tried to see Yaha as a young woman. Some things were just hard.

Yaha’s annoyance also lifted Tuya’s lips. The old woman’s mind wandered, showing Tuya more than she wanted to as she remembered being young. Memories of her and Olono kissing, losing their clothes, and joining together like Renisha and Rahan. Tuya saw more of Yaha as a young woman than she hoped to. Yet, this too elevated Tuya’s lips. In these memories Yaha was something Tuya had never seen. Yaha was happy.

Yaha tried to stifle the flashes of her past. Yet, her longing for her lost lover only grew, and more intense images flooded her mind. Young, in love, and exploring both her body and Olono’s. Growing up in the Hollows, Tuya witnessed a thousand rapes where men pushed themselves upon blooded women, getting on top of them and forcing themselves inside of them, holding their face to the ground and thrusting with hatred and violence. Yaha and Olono’s breeding, if it should even be called breeding, was nothing like these haunted memories. Happiness and laughter, instead of hatred and crying. Yaha on top of Olono, getting higher and higher as she went up and down, keeping control of the whole, wonderful thing.

Tuya’s eyes shifted to Darrakh, wondering if she would feel happy if they did the same thing. Kissing him and holding him made her happy. Perhaps, now that she was bleeding, this thing, this joining could be happy, especially if she stayed on top of him. The more she thought about it, the less it seemed like it always had to her. I want that, she decided. I want what you had.

Yaha sighed. That is your choice, Tuya. Please, be careful with it. Both of them thought of their small supply of numbroot leaf. Before it ran out, the seed would not take root.

I will be careful, Tuya promised.

*************

The hollowed forest grew denser as the sun neared sleep. Tuya’s thoughts cycled between many things, between worry for Masarga and the other wilders, thoughts of helping change the lives of the many women who lived in all the regions of Celegana’s Hollows, and her own selfish thoughts of wanting Darrakh as Yaha had Olono. Yet, even though her mind traveled, her eyes were always here, seeking signs of danger.

Tamer. On our left, she projected to Yaha. The tall, broad shouldered man approached, much closer than she preferred.

Try to look ugly!

Tuya sucked in her lips, scrunched her face, puffed her cheeks, and dipped her head to multiply her chins. She sucked in her stomach and hunched her shoulders, trying to look small and weak. Please ignore us. Please ignore us.

It must not have been enough. The tamer stopped in front of her. He gripped her face with a firm hand and lifted her eyes off the ground. The pale flesh around his eyes was purpled. Tuya and Yaha knew where this was headed. Few things were more hateful than a tamer who needed to reaffirm his strength.

Somewhere in the thick wood, a woman cried as a tamer huffed and yelled at her to stop crying. All around the wood, women and girls were out, gathering berries and pulling edible roots out of the ground. Another tamer sat in a nearby hollow, watching it all as he fed himself handfuls of berries he almost certainly did not procure himself. Darrakh lingered behind Tuya, carrying both spears.

The bruised-faced tamer seized a handful of Tuya’s breast and pinched. She flinched, her hands balling into fists as he squeezed her like a ripe berry ready to burst. He pulled her hair, yanking her toward him, and carefully inspected her face. She grimaced, clenching her teeth to keep from screaming or crying. Tuya hid her fists, wanting to punch her way out of his grip, take the spear, and run it right through his damned heart.

Too many eyes, Yaha warned, trying to infuse Tuya with calm though she wanted to murder the tamer even more than Tuya.

The tamer released her hair, let go of her breast, and put his hands atop her shoulders. Tuya exhaled, inhaled, trying to let the calm return. Yaha moved through the same motions, coaching Tuya with her own breathing practice as she untensed. Tuya opened her fists and kept her eyes down. It is going to be alright. We will get through this. Lies, but she tried to pretend they were true.

The tamer lifted her chin again. He stared at her lightseer eyes. Please don’t know me. Please. She forced herself to keep them open.

The tamer licked his lips. “Best face Chindekh has ever seen. Doesn’t cry when touched like worthless Saran.” His hands slid down the sides of her arms and then up to her waist. “Strong body to bear strong tamers.” He traced her cheekbones with a finger. “Very, very good khorota.”

She was done with this. Tuya clenched her fists, anger burning a hole in her chest. No, Yaha warned. You fight and Gurgaldai will know where we are!

“Chindekh claims you.” He took Tuya’s hand and dragged her toward a nearby tamer hollow.

Tuya dug her heels into the ground, resisting his pull. She looked behind her, panic rising, her breath going fast, heart pounding. Her eyes met Darrakh’s. He was so much smaller than Chindekh. Darrakh trembled, giving off even more fear than Tuya felt, his grip on the spears weak. Weak like him. He was going to fail her. She knew it. Whether the thoughts were hers or Yaha’s, Tuya believed them.

“Take me,” Yaha said. “I have birthed many strong tamers to men lesser than you.”

Tamer Chindekh halted, seeing Yaha as if for the first time. Around them, the women kept gathering, pretending ignorance, the girl kept howling several hollows away, her tamer grunting as he put his seed in her, the watching tamer stuffed his face with berries and kept watching. Darrakh froze and broke Tuya’s heart with his cowardice.

Chindekh grunted. “This dark one is too old to bear seed. Too ugly to be worth breeding. Mouth too big for a khorota.” He scowled at Darrakh. “You should end this one and feed her to the other khorota while a real tamer feeds this one,” he pulled Tuya closer to him and reached his hand inside her hides, “his big breeder.”

Tuya cried out now. Chindekh slammed her to her stomach, held her down with his big body, bound her hands behind her back as he pressed down, pulling on her shoulders until it felt like the arms would fall out of them. Tuya squirmed, unable to free herself, as the bruised tamer smiled down at her. “Beautiful,” he said, cranking on her arms. “Do not fight me, beautiful. We will make a great, mighty tamer tonight. I will feed you well and he will be stronger than Gurgaldai. You could have no greater glory than this.”

Feet pattered over the ground toward them. Chindekh twisted his neck, a horrid smile on his battered face. Tuya saw the flash of sharp rock, knew before it arrived where it would go, and clenched her eyes shut. Blood splattered on her face. Chindekh gurgled, his grip on her going weak, his body becoming limp. Something pushed him aside.

Tuya exhaled. She expected to see Yaha, knowing that it would be time to kill every tamer in this region, to run and hope that none were able to warn Gurgaldai of their murders. She kept her eyes shut, taking a few more moments to herself, before the longest day of her life turned into the longest night.

Not me, Yaha projected, feeling proud. Your Elior was not a coward after all.

Tuya opened her eyes as Darrakh drove the spear into Chindekh again, this time plunging it into his chest, surely hitting the heart, assuming the damned tamer had one in there. “She is mine,” he howled. He hefted the spear again, several errors in his technique, and buried it into the downed tamer’s neck. “Mine!”

Chindekh died, choking on his own blood. His consciousness, a meagre one, seeped out of his body and ventured into the dark. Tuya saw Darrakh with new eyes. He seemed larger, more impressive, braver, and even more beautiful. Darrakh pointed the spear toward the watching tamer with the berries. “She is mine! I dare you to challenge me! I dare you to even think about looking at my claimed!” He spat on the corpse of Chindekh. “Go ahead!”

The tamer took his Gidiite bowl of berries back into his hollow. He called out a woman’s name and one of the berry gatherers rushed to obey. Somewhere through the dense wood, the girl still cried out and the tamer howled at her to be quiet. The dozen or so women and little girls gathering food went about their business as they always did, eyes staying far from Darrakh and Chindekh even if their minds pulsed with excitement or fear in varying degrees.

“Up, khorota!” Darrakh howled.

Tuya launched to her feet and kept moving, Darrakh’s voice chasing her, “This is your fault! You worthless, damned khorota!” He chased after her and pushed her against a tree. Darrakh pinned her there, driving his hips into her backside. “You are mine!”

Tuya trembled, and suddenly Darrakh was no thing to be admired, but like every other monster. Just lies, she told herself, tears rimming her eyes. He relented and shoved her forth. “Keep moving.” Darrakh twisted on Yaha. “You too, dark one! If you make me late, I will gut you and feed you to the other khorota!”

Tuya and Yaha dashed away from Chindekh’s corpse, Darrakh on their heels, howling derisions every few breaths until they were out of the region. She looked back, seeing only the Spire behind her as the last rays of light vanished in the western sky.

*************

He has earned his place today, Yaha admitted, watching Darrakh turning the fish over the flame.

Tuya smiled. He has. Darrakh brought in a bounty of fish, more than she could have and with far less effort. He seized the minds of several of the creatures in the nearby stream and swam them straight into Tuya and Yaha’s hands. They were eating good tonight and would have supplies for the morning.

He smiled at her and that made her warmer than their fire could. The first thing he did when they called a stop for the night was apologize, tears in his eyes, his voice cracking apart, for how he yelled and hit them. He apologized for taking so long to stop Chindekh, that he did not know what to do until he did the only thing he could do. He was done letting other men try to take her away, he would die before he let it happen.

Tuya knew genuineness when she saw it, could read his emotions and feel the truth resonating from him. She told him he was perfect, that he had nothing to forgive, that she would not let him die.

He did what he had to do, Yaha agreed. Tomorrow, he will do it again. Another thirty miles until I think we are off the peninsula and into the mainland of Vesarra. It will be easier there. We will move by night, with your eyes to guide us, and that monster will never find us.

Yaha’s hope resonated in Tuya. The woman finally believed she could survive this too. Her mind was a much more pleasant place to share.

Enjoying the warmth, the meal, and the great company, Tuya could see their next two seasons of travel becoming a rather pleasant ordeal. Nights beneath stars, cuddling beside Darrakh in whatever shelters they could find, claiming each other until they ran out of numbroot leaf. She could see it all so clearly. Too clearly for Yaha.

Please, Yaha projected, her thought tinged with humor. Some of us are trying to eat here.

Darrakh cocked his head, hearing Tuya giggle. “What amuses you, my life?”

“I am happy. Thanks to you.”

“Happy?” Darrakh grinned. “I think I know what you mean. The dreams we shared,” Darrakh paused, head down, sighing.

Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“You did not believe they could happen until today,” Tuya finished. She glanced sideways at Yaha. “Now you both see that we can do this. Part of my happiness blooms from your newly seeded hopes.” Tuya cleaned the fish, savoring its succulence, just like she wanted to savor this moment.

“Moments pass,” Yaha said. “Savor, but do not cling, Tuya. All things must be let go of in order to appreciate the moments to come.”

“Worry not, my dear Yaha.” Tuya smiled at Darrakh, her mind taking her to the nearby tamer hollow where they would join together, Mahagan style. “I do look forward to the moments to come.”

Please, do not share that moment with me.

I was not planning on it, Tuya returned, breaking the link. For the first time since awakening to her blood, Tuya’s mind was her own, her feelings were just her own, her thoughts alone in her mind. As much as she loved Yaha, it was a drain to share minds with one so prone to sadness, especially when Tuya herself was vulnerable to the deepest of despairs.

“I can finish cooking the last few fish,” Yaha said, dismissing Darrakh from duty.

“I can…thank you,” Darrakh trailed off as Tuya took his hand, leading him to the big hollow.

Her heart raced, her mind running with the greatest of excitement and the worst of nervousness. The Mahagan way, she reminded herself, not the Tamer way. She wanted to achieve harmony, to show Darrakh that she was his, to feel the truth that he was hers. This was no claiming of one person over another, but a choosing of two people by each other. This was love, not breeding. This was harmony, not conquest. She braved through the parts of her that told her that she should never let a man touch her and she gave strength to the parts of her that wanted to create a bond with the man she loved. She promised herself that this would not be the misery of a thousand woman crying while they were held down, but the joy of one woman being lifted up.

So, she explored this new frontier, leaving behind the only region she ever knew. Still, one did not venture into new places without keeping herself safe. Tuya retained control, did everything she could to make this unlike the rapes she witnessed in the Hollows and everything like the bonding she saw from Renisha or Yaha’s memories. Darrakh remained below her, his hands and mouth used for love while she made sure that he never pressed her down, only lifted her up.

One thing was eminently true. This did feel good. Very, very good. Tuya and Darrakh said nothing. Their smiling giggles, their delicate moans, their gentle caresses, and passionate kisses said everything that needed to be said as their bodies expressed their love. She wished it could have lasted forever, but he was finished soon, much sooner than she would have hoped, convulsing and pulsing within her as his mind sense gave off the strongest wave of bliss she may have ever ridden. Tuya kept control, accelerating her rise and fall, savoring every part of this moment, trying to stretch it as far as she could so that this memory would live forever within her.

She fell into his arms, intertwining herself with him, hoping to get so tangled, like vines around a tree, that they could never part. Breathing heavy, Tuya pressed her forehead and nose into his, stealing kisses between catching her breath. Her magic eyes saw the truth in the dim light of this big hollow. This beautiful boy was the only partner she ever wanted.

She parted his messy hair, kissed his lips, and told him her truth. “I love you.” His big smile made her so happy. “You are where I belong,” she told him, caressing his forehead with hers, feeling fully at peace with herself.

He squeezed her naked back, pulling her in just tight enough to feel his heart beating against hers but not so smothering that she could not breathe. “We will fly away to the faraway lands and find the place where we belong. Together.”

Hope. Norali’s blessing, the guiding light of stars and sun, of the mother of the southern sands of their motherland. Hope. Tuya felt it within herself, glowing, like her eyes. She saw it, the light of hope, glimmering throughout Darrakh, enveloping him like a mother’s loving embrace. The essence of Norali, of hope, of light, shone brighter and brighter until Darrakh lit like a beacon. His sweet green eyes, green like new life in the season of rebirth, burst with silver light, shining like stars in the midst of darkness. Never would they be green again. Silver, forevermore, like beacons of hope set against his beautiful face, guiding her home to the place where she belonged. Darrakh was like her. Darrakh was a lightseer.

His mouth opened into a wide smile and Tuya knew he saw everything more clearly now. Whatever beauty his eyes saw before in her, magnified. Every beloved detail more of itself, easier to witness and to appreciate. Darkness fading into light, dread giving way to hope. She could feel it echoing off his mind and resounding in hers. “I believe! I finally, truly believe!”

Tuya’s silver eyes could not look away from his newfound lights. Never before had she felt less alone, knowing there was another person in this world like her. Seeing the beauty in him, in his new blessings, helped her see the beauty in herself. She mussed his messy hair, letting herself feel happy, feel free, savoring this moment that would not last forever but began their new forever. “You believe we can do it.”

“Yes!” Darrakh grinned, tears filling his eyes. “We will fly away to the faraway lands! Together!”

“Together,” Tuya agreed. She kissed him, keeping her eyes open so that she could stare into his lightseers. Hope without doubt. She could not remember ever feeling this way. All of her believed that everything would go well.

They kissed and kissed, their hands going on adventures, exploring each other’s beauty. Soon, she felt him growing inside her. Giggling, she bonded with him again.

If anything, the second time felt even better than the first with all the anxiety gone, blown away like dead leaves that did no good anymore. For some reason, it lasted much, much longer than before, and she felt herself going higher and higher, losing control of her body as it moved with a will of its own. Faster and faster they raced, her heart hammering and her consciousness a flood of pleasure and harmony until she convulsed in synchrony with Darrakh. This wonderful feeling. This beautiful thing. This magical union. This, she could get used to. She planned to.

Tuya planted a kiss on his lips. “You will need to practice those maneuvers at least once a day, Lightseer Darrakh. Practice makes perfect.” She exhaled, inhaled, regulating her happily disheveled breath.

Darrakh chuckled. “That sounds like Yaha talking.”

“Nope. All me. Tuya the Wise. Could you imagine sharing a mind with Yaha while we bonded?”

Darrakh’s panic surged, blasting away joy, comfort, even hope. He looked as if he saw Gurg in the hollow behind her. His fear spread like a contagion, blasting away the absolute comfort and carefree joy of the last moments.

“Tell me that you are linked. Tell me now! Tell me,” he croaked, “tell me you did not break your link.”

“I am not linked,” she muttered, fear and confusion blending into an unwanted union of bewilderment, his panic seizing her, making everything seem like it was moving so fast and yet not moving at all. “I did not want to share my time with you, with her.”

Darrakh slammed his eyes shut. He shook. His whimpers were broken up only by his panicked wheezing. Fear froze Tuya. She tried to understand, but her mind went slow, like a slug that did not see the spear coming. “I told you to stay linked! I told you both!”

Tuya pulled herself off him. A sudden wind blew a fierce chill into their hollow as she peeked out into the starry night. The fire burned, but Yaha was not beside it. Her lightseer eyes scanned the forest and her mind sense sought life.

“He will come,” Darrakh whispered. “It is over.”

Sure enough, her life was no dream. Through the trees and the brush, beyond empty hollows, a flood of vapor surged toward them, sweeping aside the trees in its wake, rustling the leaves and coming for her like a wave determined to drown the land. Her wilding could not detect anything else than him. Her eyes transfixed upon the mass of power blasting toward her. Dread smashed into her hope like Aldar, the great hammer of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, come to claim her. Clinging to dying hope, trying to protect it like a waning fire in a storm, Tuya braced her mind for the imminent collision. She could still ward herself, still drive his consciousness away, still escape with Darrakh and Yaha. Hopefully.

The Ezen’s consciousness swirled around her, full of rage, seeping hatred into the very air they breathed. Were a spear in her hand and his heart in her sights, she would thrust it as far as she could into that hollow, hateful place. Alas, she could not fight consciousnesses with spears. Worse, she could not protect herself if he attacked another.

“Darrakh!” Tuya rushed to his side and sent her consciousness to her beloved. She was thrown aside, physically, mentally. Her consciousness rushed back into her body as she collided with the ground. She scurried, trying to find her footing. Darrakh landed atop her, knocking her air away, pinning her to the ground with inhuman strength. His face contorted in agony and rage, silver eyes gleaming with hatred, his hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing so hard that his fingernails dug into her skin.

“I am disappointed in you.” The words fell from Darrakh’s mouth, but they were not his. None of this was his, she hoped. This monster was not the man she loved, the man she shared her body with, the man she shared her dreams, her future with.

She reached out with her mind, trying to find Darrakh within himself. Gurgaldai was all she could sense, his mind so bright that it blinded her to everything else. Tuya reached for him, trying to batter her way into Darrakh’s mind. Gurgaldai swatted her consciousness aside, repelling her with overwhelming power, making her shrink back within herself like a small girl being struck by a giant tamer.

She needed to survive. She needed to draw Darrakh out, but could not talk as he choked her airways, could not find any openings through Gurgaldai’s consciousness. Desperation, like a little squirrel trapped beneath the paws of a wolf, sent Tuya into a frenzy. Darrakh! Her nails clawed ravenously into Darrakh’s arms, blood tracing down them as she ripped away at her lover’s flesh, trying to move him off her, trying to conjure him with the pain, with her pleas. Darrakh!

“He is not coming to save you,” Gurg whispered, clenching her throat.

She tried to twist herself free, contorting and thrashing for her life. Darrakh’s strength astounded her. He was immovable as a mountain crushing a bug. She could hardly imagine Gurgaldai himself being much more powerful than this small man astride her holding her down like he had the power of an Ezen. Panic seized her, pushed her to keep trying, however futile, as breath and energy dwindled toward nothing. Silver eyes gleaming with light glared down at her. Darrakh!

“You are not his. You have been mine since that moment I first saw you hiding in the hollow, coveted by weaker men who knew nothing of the extraordinary girl they possessed. You always will be mine. Tuya.”

No! Tuya projected. I am mine!

She strained, pushing against Darrakh’s hands, hands she always thought weaker than her own. No matter how she wriggled and writhed, she could not turn away or push him off. Even in her dying thrashes, his power surprised her, humbled her.

“It is pointless to deny me, to deny Celegana, to deny fate.”

She denied him, she always would. Tuya ripped at Darrakh’s wrists, seizing a pressure point, pulling them off her throat, buying herself a couple of breaths before he slipped free of her grasp and clamped her throat once more. This time he leaned forward, giving her no space to pry at his hands. She tried to slam her head into his, only for him to pull it back, using Darrakh’s lightseer eyes against her.

Powerless, she thrashed, her best not good enough. She pushed through the urge to surrender, to give in, but it grew harder the more futility denied her.

“Go on,” Gurg dared, “Try me again. See just how pointless your resistance is. Go on, you stupid khorota.”

Tuya strained her mind, reaching once more for Darrakh. If only she could make him come out, help him resist Gurg, together they might be able to still survive this. Tuya honed in, trying to find Darrakh. She was hit by the wave of rage emanating off Gurgaldai. It battered at her mind, she clenched her consciousness, and dug in, trying to withstand the waves as they slammed into her. She clung, feeling like a hurricane was throwing her, repelling her from reaching the depths. Tuya held on, blood trickling from nose, ears, eyes, and mouth, straining harder and harder until she stretched her mind beneath the anger, finding a bottomless depth of sorrow, a quiet ocean of loneliness and heartbreak ever lurking beneath the loud, violent, waves of wrath. Even here, she could not find a trace of Darrakh within. In this whole wide ocean, he was not even a drop of water.

Darrakh!

Nothing answered her desperate plea. Not even a whisper or a murmur of her beloved seemed to remain. Tuya tried anyway, as she always had, trying to believe that her best was enough despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Be free, Darrakh! Be yourself!

Darrakh’s face grinned down at her with malice. She might as well have tried to cut down a great big hollow with a flower petal for the effect her wilding had on Gurg’s hold over Darrakh. “Be himself?” Gurg laughed, easing the grip on her throat so that she could steal a few breaths. Gurg twisted Darrakh’s soft voice into something harsh and evil. “This is who he is, fool khorota. He is a tamer. He serves me. He has done better than I could have ever anticipated.”

Gurg inundated her mind with Darrakh’s memories, several of them crashing into her at once, peeling back layers of lies and showing truth. Things that could not be. Darrakh being sent out to spy on her and rushing to tell Gurg about everything she said in their meetings in the dark place. Gurg instructed Darrakh to help her escape, to see how far she would go, even to seduce her. The Ezen knew of her plan long before today. Not only did he allow it, he was accomplice to it, shaping Darrakh’s involvement in every way.

Lies!

No. This is the first truth he has given you. You fled because I allowed it. You are caught because I demand it.

Lies! Tuya pushed on him, reaching, scouring the vastness of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, searching for the boy who could not have betrayed her, pleading for him to explain, to reassure, even as her mind assembled all the pieces together. Darrakh who never linked with her. Darrakh who was too kind to be released from the Spire without this mission. Darrakh who lied to her face for seasons. It was far easier to lie to herself than accept that one of the best things that ever happened to her was one of the worst. She tried to shut her mind to the truth, to seal it in a dark place she could not find, even as it kept forcing its way into the light. She denied it, like she did Gurg.

You were never going to choose me, Gurg projected. The sorrow emerged, rising above the wrath, subsuming their minds. You were never going to love me. You would run away from your purpose, dooming the whole world for your own selfishness. You needed to learn the hard way. There is no escape from me.

Darrakh!

He is mine! He has always been mine!

Lies! Yet, even as she forced herself to deny, she knew these were no lies. She was a lightseer, blessed with true sight, and there would be no resigning these bitter realities to the dark corners of her mind, no pretending.

Darrakh’s face grinned. “It must hurt, knowing that the person you want to love you the most is the one who betrays you the worst.” The grin faded. “I wonder what that is like.” Gurg breathed heavy, the restraints on his rage breaking, tears filling Darrakh’s silver seers, as Gurg’s choking grasp slipped away, forming into fists.

Her skull rattled from the first blow and barely registered the second. Tuya cried out, trying to will herself to fight, but finding no fight left in her. Even if Gurg lost control, if he beat her to death with Darrakh’s fists, she did not have it in her to fight unwinnable battles anymore. Gurg was right. There was no escape.

The fist lingered above her, her vision blurring out of focus as stars danced above her. Darrakh’s voice said something but she could not hear it through the ringing in her ears and the fog clouding her mind. A blackness burst forth and Tuya felt the weight fall off her. Shouting, screaming, the sounds of struggle.

Yaha. Tuya fought to make her lungs work. I am coming, mother. She staggered to a knee, stabilizing herself against the innards of the big, red hollow.

Yaha did not need her help. Her fists unleashed a devastating litany of blows to Darrakh’s body. Tuya suppressed sympathy. Darrakh was not the man who would be her Olono, her Rahan. She tried to kill the compassion, execute the love. Gurg helped, laughing as Darrakh’s body suffered blow after blow.

Still, love refused to let go. If everything was lies, why did his eyes turn? If everything was lies, why did she always sense his happiness when they shared precious moments or his joy when he made her smile or helped her? Yet, he betrayed her every step of the way. He rushed to tell every secret to Gurg and she … she had given him everything. Everything! How could she have been so blind? How could she, who sees better than any, or senses thoughts and feelings better than any, be fooled just like any other girl?

Never again, she promised herself. Never again will I give myself to a man. Never again will I trust one who does not link with me.

Through it all, Gurg kept laughing, eyes on Tuya, as Yaha slowly murdered Darrakh.

“You treacherous snake! All along, you were just another fucking tamer!” Yaha roared, striking out like a lion, sending him sprawling to the ground as her fist collided with his face.

Despite the betrayal, love still clutched to life. She could not watch this anymore. “Stop! He is tamed.”

The color drained from Yaha’s dark face. Her hands, coated in blood and cracked from their hammering, trembled. “No.” Tuya watched as hope died in her mother, like it had in Darrakh. Yaha sobbed once, then contained it, hands over her mouth, tears dancing in her eyes. “No.” Yaha roared, cursing each of the Divine Thirteen.

Gurg grinned, showing Darrakh’s teeth. “Done already, dark one? Come on! No vengeance for your spearmate? Which of the Chimaera’s heads slew him?”

“Can you break the link?” Yaha asked, clenching her jaw tight, her fists still balled. “Or do we need to leave Darrakh behind?”

“Leave?” Gurg laughed. “Run! Hide! Fight! Beg! You cannot leave, dark one. You will not survive to see the big lightmaker awake.” He leaned forward. “You will soon be returned to Celegana, reunited with your spearmate, with all the dark ones you led back to the ground. Perhaps you should join them now. Kill yourself and spare me the pleasure of tearing you apart.”

Yaha exhaled her anger, grabbed her spear, and stepped into lion stance. “Tuya. Can you free him?”

“Free him?” Gurg laughed. “He is already gone!” Darrakh’s eyes leered at Tuya, penetrating her with Gurg’s all-knowing stare. “Freedom, Tuya! Like you gave the last of my dark ones! Can you give it to him? Can you give it to your betrayer? Your lover? Pick up your weapon. Make his pain smaller.”

“Tuya!” roared Yaha and Gurg.

Tuya did not know how to make Darrakh’s pain smaller, or even if she wanted to. She did not know what was right. Had she ever known? She did not trust herself. How could she? Confused. Helpless. Powerless. Trapped. Like a tamed beast, she did nothing of her own will.

Yaha turned to her. “You need to make a choice!”

Darrakh’s body vaulted forth, charging Yaha while her guard was down. He stepped past her thrust, moving inside her reach. Gurg closed the gap, seized Yaha’s throat, kept his feet moving, and slammed her back into the hollow. Her nose shattered as Darrakh’s palm struck it, undamming a river of blood. Yaha tried to swing with the spear, tried to slash him across the back. Gurg seized her wrist, clenching until she dropped the spear. One hand gripped Yaha’s throat, pinning her back to the hollow, the other collided with her gut, once, twice, thrice, more, going until Yaha started to purple.

Yaha slumped beneath the flurry of blows that kept raining down upon her.

“Your girls worshipped me in the end,” Gurg said, driving another fist into her belly, “for I am Chosen of Celegana.” He threw Yaha down to the ground. She gasped for air, staggered to her feet, and was thrown down again, before receiving a mighty kick to the teeth. Blood spilled from her nose, from her mouth, through gaps where teeth were moments before.

“Tuya,” Yaha gasped, failing to rise, her fingers grasping in the dirt, but her arms not lifting her from the ground.

Tuya knew Yaha was going to die, like everyone else she failed to protect. she watched her lover’s body killing her mother and could not make herself move.

“You could have lived,” Gurg said, lifting Yaha by her hair, howling through her screams of pain, her pleas for help, “You could have been at her side while she restored the world! You could have meant something! Instead, you chose this!” He threw her headfirst into the hollow’s hard wooden shell.

Yaha stopped moving. Tuya stood there, having done nothing, nothing as she watched her mother die. For all her life, she felt hated. Hated by the tamers, by other women, by herself, and, most of all, by the man who chose her.

“Why?” Tuya cried. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Gurg halted his onslaught. He turned to Tuya, eyes full of hate, and, suddenly tears. “Why do I hate you? Why did you hate me? Why did you, the one who makes pain small, refuse me? Why did you betray me after I saved your life? After I made the others stop hurting you? After I gave you everything you wanted? After I gave you chance after chance to choose me? Why could you not love me? Why did you choose to hurt me instead of making my pain small? Why, Tuya?”

Tuya said nothing. She felt wrong, ashamed, for not loving him, and she felt no love for this monster. She could not. Not anymore at least. Perhaps she could have loved Gurg, they boy who wanted to save the world and be loved by her, but she could not love Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, this monster who wielded chimaeras and absolute power, who presided over this abominable society, who would slaughter every farawaylander and say it was for the greater good, who would do all the wrong things he did in the name of Celegana. No. She would not make his pain smaller. She hated him. She wanted him to hurt, to suffer, to feel agony like she did. In that, she supposed, she had succeeded. With no regrets.

Darrakh’s head shook. Tears glided down his light brown cheeks, the harbingers of the pain she inflicted. “You are proof. Proof that I can never trust anyone. Proof that I will forever be alone. Proof that I must be who I am. For proving this to me, I hate you.”

Yaha groaned. Gurg pressed his leg on her back, pinning her to the ground. “What will it be, Tuya? Will you let me kill this woman who has defiled your mind or will you kill the man you chose instead?”

Tuya picked up her spear, feeling the weight of her impossible choice. For all his betrayal, she still loved Darrakh. Somewhere in there, she was certain he loved her too, that he had found hope tonight, that he truly wanted to go with her to the faraway lands, to fly away, together, from this cruel place. That did not wash away the lies, but neither did the lies eradicate the truth that this was the only man she ever loved, and probably would be the only one she ever gave herself to. Willingly. How could she kill him? After all the nights she spent in his arms? After today? After tonight? She could not find it in her to want him dead. Quite the opposite. She wanted to understand him, to make his pain smaller.

“Make a choice, Chosen!”

And Yaha … there was nobody alive that she owed more to than Yaha, who helped shape her into the spear she became, who taught her of faraway lands and how to speak like the people of those places where the trees had no holes. Yaha, who she loved like a mother, who was more of a mother to her than her own lifegiver. To save her, all she must do is drive the spear through the heart of the boy she loved. She could not let Yaha die and yet she could not kill Darrakh.

“Tuya,” Yaha gasped, failing to break out from under Darrakh’s leg.

One word, her name, uttered from the mouth of her mother. A word colored by desperation, saturated with love. A word conveying seasons of bonding, of giving everything they had to each other. Tuya could not lose her, not when she had the chance to save her.

Her spear moved through the night, stars shining down from a clear sky. Forth it went, finding the heart of the man who had her heart.

Darrakh stumbled, spear still in him. He staggered off Yaha’s back, crashing to a knee. Tuya let go of the shaft, unable to hold on, unable to stop crying, hugging her, cold, naked chest, certain she would never feel warm again. Those silver eyes, those beacons of hope, sought her. Darrakh’s mouth twisted into a grin. “So, you have chosen. See you soon, Chosen.”

Gurg’s consciousness flowed out of Darrakh, flocking rapidly toward Celegana’s Spire.

Darrakh wheezed, her spear still caught in his chest. His silver eyes found hers, his hand sought hers. She met his eyes, she took his hand.

“Sorry,” he said.

Tuya shook her head. The sobs fell out of her uncontrollably.

“Come to me. Tuya.”

Tuya, in the end, got the thing she wanted most from him. The cause of their fights, of her mistrust, of her, tragically, well-placed doubts. She extended her consciousness and, like she had hundreds of times before, pressed against his mind. For the first time, he let her in to see the truth.