“I want to go to somewhere other that this small and stuffy cabin in the woods.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Are you kidding me? You don’t even have air conditioning.”

“What’s air conditioning?”

I can officially say that most of my common sense and 21st knowledge will not apply to Rucia. As previously proven by the explanations of major organs and air conditioning, which I actually expected no one here to know, she needs to be taught from scratch; and frankly, I will not teach anybody that lacks most of my knowledge. Why? Because I feel like I would lose brain cells. I know that’s harsh, but I don’t have the patience nor communication skill to give someone the full course of teaching. Teaching Rucia about cultivation only required a few things for her to learn, so I was able to cope with that. However, teaching someone about many things that may or may not require more than a single day, will be extremely frustrating to me.

So now that I know I can’t teach, let’s go to civilization. I know that most people would’ve done this sooner, but I was rather busy and… Hold up. If this was the old me, I wouldn’t have really cared about civilization if I could cultivate. I mean, I did go through a phase where I didn’t leave my house for a week (It was a week because I ran out of food after one week), but I never escaped from other people for longer than that. Am I having withdraw symptoms? No…

No way…

… Goddammit.

Truthfulness: JUST ADMIT IT!

Pride: NO! I CAN’T!

Reasoning: Come on Pride, it’s okay, it’s not like you’re going to lose anything.

Pride: YOU SHUT UP REASONING, YOU AREN’T HELPING!

Reasoning: Actually, my very existence ensures all of you guy’s survival, you want to badmouth me now?

Pride: … I’m… Sorry… Fuck me, that hurts!

Memory: I found something rather interesting. You all want to hear it?

Sociability, Pride, Reasoning, Truthfulness, Conscience, Instinct, Greed, Lust: YES!

Memory: Alright, the source is unclear, but an experiment proved that humans are, quite literally, social creatures. A human, cut off from vision, hearing and social interaction will actually start having hallucinations about fantasy creatures, family members and their false god. Many other things are also included, but upon having social interaction, the mind of a person can actually heal from insanity and other externally caused mental problems. Of course, I cannot verify everything I said is truth, since I am Memory, but if Truthfulness can confirm…? Also, why is Lust here?

Lust: Because there is a girl in the vicinity.

Conscience: You come with just the presence of a girl? Looks like I need some tempering.

Lust: No, I mean that, because Sociability feels attraction to the opposite sex, no matter how little it is, I will be wherever there is a girl.

Sociability: He’s right.

Conscience: You sound like a pervert.

Lust: Are you stupid? Of course I am, just look at my name.

Conscience: … Argh, you’re right.

Greed: And nobody cares about me being here?

Truthfulness: To be honest, which is always, you’re always here, so it’s not so weird.

Greed: That’s kinda cruel...

Truthfulness: Sorry Memory, I can’t confirm any of that, but I think that there is some truth to that, I just can’t what.

Conscience: That’s normal, after all, it’s as they say-

Instinct: No you fucking don’t!

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

Conscience: - In every lie, there is a grain of truth.

Instinct: That’s it! Imma kill you!

Conscience: DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK- ARGH! SON OF A- WHY ARE YOU BITING ME?!

*Crash* *Bang* *Shatter*

Truthfulness: Instinct, you need to control yourself.

Instinct: *Chomp* Since Truthfulness said it, I guess I need to then.

Conscience: Why the hell did you do that?

Instinct: You know that idiot who reincarnated us? His meme.

Greed: Yeah screw him!

Memory: It was unexpected. But calling himself ‘God’… ‘God’ doesn’t exist.

Reasoning: Memory, are you an atheist?

Memory: Yeah. Why?

All, except Memory: How unexpected…

Memory: Eh?! Why is everyone here? And why is it unexpected?

Reasoning: Because Main is an agnostic, and that means everyone else here should be as well.

Main: What the fuck am I doing…?

Yeah, what the hell was that? A comedy skit in my head? Seems that Memory was right… No wait, focus Ardven. FOCUS! Right, teacher for Rucia. Argh, my fucking conscience is making me do this. I wish I could get rid of it for just this once.

Conscience: Yeah, love you too Main.

No, just ignore it. Just ignore…

“So Rucia,” I begin. “Would you be interested in going to civilization with me?”

“Civilization...” Rucia pondered. “Is that a city?”

“Fuck my mother all the way to the third generation...” I mumble in defeat.

“No, no, no, and no. It’s not a city. It’s where other people are.” I say to Rucia.

“So it’s part of a city!” Rucia exclaims in ‘enlightenment’.

“Fuck me sideways and call me Carol.” Not even gonna try to hide my voice this time.

“Carol…?” Rucia is confused!

“You forgot the ‘fuck me sideways’ part.”

“A-ah u-um, w-what do you-?” Rucia has hurt herself in confusion! (Pokemon reference)

“You know what? I’m done! I’m done! I’m just done! As a person with little tolerance for useless things that benefit no one, I’m done. Look, here’s how it’s gonna go. First thing: I’m leaving today, you cannot stop me.”

“H-hold on-”

“SECOND THING! You can follow me and possibly obtain my affection and, with a less than one percent chance, my dick!”

“Your what?!”

“THIRD THING!! If you’re following me, go find someone else to teach you about common sense. I will not do anymore because I’m not good with dealing with those fools who don’t understand. Goodbye!”

At this point, Pride has been kicked in the dick by Truthfulness. No, seriously, I think I can still hear Pride’s anguished screams.

Pride: WHY THE DIIIIIIIICK?!?!

Yeah, see what I mean? I’m going slightly insane. Although, I think I was before reincarnating. I mean, sometimes I did comedy skits like this before. In my head, with all the emotions, at this point, I think it’s just a running gag. I don’t think I’m insane, it’s just my mind is too active.

Prick: Insane people have the most active minds, you know?

… Ignore, ignore, ignore. If you ignore it, it’ll go away. Actually, it’s surprising how well that quote fits. I tried my best to ignore reality back home, escaping into the folds of Japanese, Chinese, Korean and original novels and attaining the widest of fantasy worlds. In a way, ignoring reality has led me into my fantasy. Except, it is still reality. Or is it…?

I’m getting a headache…

Huh? What was I just thinking about? This being fantasy…? Ouch! Headache again…

(A\N: This time, I’ve gone for the more subtle approach. I’m sure he won’t notice it this time. I’ll show him what it’s like to mock me! Every time you think this might be fantasy, which would be many times I’m sure, you will be struck with a terrible headache! Kukukuku… Hehehehehehe… HAHAHAHAHA! Bill: Forgive me, Ardven-san. I could do nothing in the face of Author-sama’s terrifying ability. Author: Did you say something Bill? Bill: Of course not, Author-sama. Author: Attaching the -sama feels really nice.)

Anyway! Back onto the topic! I stand up, walk to the door and bid farewell to Rucia, who still seems to be flustered about something. Time for civilization! I leave and head in a random direction. I’m not going to ask the system for a direction to go, that would take out the fun in adventuring. I suck in a deep breath of fresh air. I exhale. For some reason, I feel so much more different. I used to be such a lazy bastard previously, and now… Well, I never thought I would be looking forward to the ‘adventure’ part of traveling. The world works in mysterious ways.

“W-wait for me!” A female voice calls out to me.

Ah. It’s Rucia. She seems to have gotten all her gear in a rush and ran to catch up with me. This is actually the first time I’ve seen her weapons, isn’t it? A single bow, arrows, and a dagger. C’mon, at least carry a sword in case the bow breaks. I mean, I understand a dagger for protection reasons, but it has no reach and just the same piercing and slashing ability of a sword, if not worse. A dagger and a bow just makes you unbalanced. What am I going to- NOPE! Not going to start that again.

“No, hurry up and walk with me if you’re so intent on coming.” I yell out in reply.

Rucia’s face brightens and she jogs up to my side, slightly out of breath. I nod at her, and she gives an excited nod back. This is it, huh? My first real adventure that doesn’t have a slap stick goal that will crumble in seconds. A travel to places I don’t know. Meeting new faces. New places. New things. New food. Finding my destiny, maybe? Honestly I’m…

“So, where are we going?” Rucia asks.

“Who knows,” I reply in a light tone. “That’s the fun of the adventure!”

“The fun of adventure?”

“You never heard of it?”

“It’s not that, but… I just don’t really understand it.”

“It’s simple,” I smile at her. A real, truly happy smile. “Meeting new faces, new places, new things! So much to do, so much to see, so much to do when you’re free. That’s what the fun of adventure is!”

“You seem excited.”

“Of course. It’s the first real adventure that I’ve had that doesn’t involve me escaping previously deadly situations. This time, I left with a plan. A plan to have fun. The fun of adventure!”

“The fun of adventure!”

“That’s it girl!”

“Huh?”

“Hahahahahaha!”

“Why are you laughing? Hey! Answer me! Don’t just laugh!”

“Hahahahahaha!”

“ARDVEN!!”

Honestly, I’m…

Excited!