Avery passed through the front doors of the Safe Haven building. It was a place typically reserved for children who had come from abusive homes or children who were homeless. Avery thought about it and realized that technically, he was homeless now, so he qualified.
Safe Haven was the temporary place he had been assigned to until his living situation could be sorted out and he could move into his new home. Avery was greeted by a woman that he clashed with right away. If he had to describe her in a single word it would be "uptight."
She quickly introduced herself and led him to a non descript room. “This is your room,” she said. “Make sure you keep it clean and make your bed.” Avery didn’t respond. She turned to leave. “Oh, and make sure you take good care of it. You probably won’t be here for long and it will be passed on to someone else. So just keep that in mind.” Again, Avery said nothing. He hoped she would leave, but she stood in the doorway, waiting expectantly. “Got it?” She asked, her muscles tense; a vein protruding from her forehead.
With more effort than he would have thought possible, Avery was able to give a half hearted nod. She turned on her heels and walked away swiftly, mumbling something about how she never got any respect from the ingrates and freeloaders who showed up every week. “She must not like her job,” Avery mumbled under his breath. Now that she was gone, he tried to think of everything she said when she had introduced herself, but he had already forgotten her name. He shrugged, feeling apathetic. “It’s not my fault I’m here. If I had a choice, I’d pack it all up right now, and go live somewhere else.”
He thought about his home and what his life used to be like. He wished he could go there now. He imagined that if he showed up, his family would be waiting for him and everything would go back to normal. The idea was comforting and tantalizing. He stared out the window dreamily as he let the scene wash over him. Then he shook his head, forcing the thought away quickly. “Don’t get caught up in your stupid fantasies!” He thought harshly, scolding himself.
If he went back now, the house would be empty and he would be left to live alone in complete isolation. That seemed far from ideal, but it seemed much more appealing than what he was doing now. But how would he manage expenses, how would he afford to eat, was it even legal? He was young, but not that young. In a handful of years he would be a full grown adult. He wondered if there was some way to work around the fact that he was currently only fourteen. He didn’t have a clue, but he quickly decided it was mostly likely a pipe dream.
"I’ll be an adult soon enough," he thought. "I need to get serious and start acting like a grown up if I’m going to survive and have any kind of future. It’s time to put all these childish fantasies away and face reality." With that, he banished all the romanticized fabrications from his mind and began to focus on the present moment. He looked around the room and was decidedly unimpressed. It was fine, but it was far from homey. He tried to decipher what felt so wrong about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It wasn’t that the room was too small. It was a decent size. Was it the carpet? No. It did seem kind of empty now that he thought about it. It didn’t have the cozy lived in feel of a “real” bedroom.
There was a bed, and a closet with a plastic dresser inside and a few shelves. He put away his belongings, and settled in. He didn’t really have much to add to the room and it didn’t feel all that different when he had settled in. Something was off, but he still couldn’t figure out why, so he shrugged his shoulders. I’ll figure it out later, he thought to himself. He decided to explore the rest of the place.
There was a fairly large common area. He found a group of children nearby, most of them younger than he was. One or two were older, maybe near his age. The younger ones played together for the most part and the older ones appeared to have no interest in engaging in any sort of social interaction, which suited him just fine. He sat by himself at the far side of the common area for a while, watching the children play.
One of them had a little robot dog that she was playing with. It would walk and bark and do a few tricks. It was made of plastic and was built to be transparent, so all the wires inside of it could be seen. It had a screen for eyes and when it responded to commands or changed its mood, the screen would provide a short phrase so the user knew if it understood their command or not. The body itself had a bunch of flashing lights that made it cool to look at. Kind of like some special edition console controllers he’d seen before that had a bunch of LED lights. It came with a little robo bone that the owner would throw and then the robo pup would clunkily fetch it and bring it back. It didn’t always work and sometimes it would get stuck or fall over, but he thought it was a pretty cool toy overall. Probably way more expensive than it was worth, but a fun novelty for a child.
Now that he thought about it, the lady said something about giving him a tour. He realized that he had no interest in going on a tour with her, but he wasn’t sure if he had a choice. He looked around suspiciously, and wondered if he could just hide out in his room. Probably not. She would most likely come hunt him down wherever he went. He started to feel awkward just watching other people in the common area, but he didn’t want to just go wandering around. It reminded him of being at someone else's house and being unsure which areas he was welcome in, and which areas were off limits.
It would take a while to adjust to being here, but in the meantime, he felt like he needed something to keep his hands busy or some excuse not to be just staring at others. Or even worse, look approachable. He wished he had a smartphone or something. He’d seen so many others get away with not interacting whatsoever with the people around them simply by staring at their phone. But no such luck. His parents had never given him a smartphone. They were the kind of parents who carefully researched different areas of parenting and child development. They cared about his well being. Maybe a little too much, he thought at times.
They’d done research on how social media and screen time affects developing minds and made a point to limit his exposure as well as his siblings. They told him he would be allowed to have one when he turned sixteen, and he would still need to set boundaries on screen time. Until then, all he had was a prepaid flip phone. It definitely made him stand out. In a world that was connected to technology twenty four seven, he stood out like some kind of luddite from the dark ages.
He’d resented them for a long time, but as he observed his peers and saw how addicted they’d become, he started to feel like he was one of the few sentient human beings among a sea of zombies. He didn’t care at first when his parents offered to share all the studies that had helped in making their seemingly extreme decision. But recently, he had looked over the material and began to feel grateful that they went out of their way to protect him and raise him in a healthy environment.
He had never thanked them. As far as they knew, he still resented them for it. And now they were gone. He would never get the chance to say thank you. He would never see them again. He could sense a well of sadness building in him and quickly forced it from his mind. He didn’t want to cry like a baby in front of a bunch of strangers. He dismissed the complicated web of emotions and thoughts. Watching the children playing again.
The robo dog came toward him and bumped into his leg. It had fallen on its side and was pushing its legs back and forth, barking. He remembered how out of place he felt and wished that his brother were here. This situation wouldn’t be so awkward if he had someone he felt comfortable with. He was very introverted and it was easier to branch out and meet other people if he had someone he knew nearby. Part of it was just that he didn’t feel so out of place, part of it was that he would have someone to talk to if he couldn't find the courage to strike up a conversation with others, and the final reason, was that they could take over the conversation when he inevitably ran out of things to say.
If he really got to know someone and had a conversation that he was really invested in, he could talk non stop for hours, but he couldn’t really do that with a stranger. He would always get asked why he didn’t like people or why he didn’t have anything to say, but that wasn’t the issue. It wasn’t that he didn’t like people, or that he didn’t have anything to say. He liked people a lot, and he had so much to say, but meeting new people and socializing in general was very difficult and exhausting for him.
He only had so much energy to socialize and then he would become drained. After that, he would need to go do something on his own or do something creative to re energize. The hardest part about meeting new people was getting past the small talk. He hated small talk and found that the sooner he could get past it, the sooner he would become good friends with some one. The problem was, it seemed like many people never got past the small talk phase. Some people seemed to perpetually engage in small talk. Even with people they knew well. It was like they lived life completely on the surface, putting on a face that was acceptable and inoffensive to everyone.
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Avery couldn’t fathom living like that. It seemed to him to be some special kind of hell. He realized that he was staring into nothing, lost in his thoughts like some kind of weirdo and that he still didn’t have anything to do with his hands. He looked around the room and realized that people were staring at him expectantly. "Will you hand me my puppy, please?" The little girl said. He looked down and saw the dog still barking and attempting to walk on its side. "Oh, sure." He said sheepishly.
He bent down to pick up the dog when a sudden surge of what felt like electricity ran through his body. The robo dog went haywire, barking and running at an accelerated rate. The LED lights were flashing so quickly it was almost like a strobe light. The seizure inducing kind. Next, the words on the screen flickered rapidly through a ton of different languages. All of this occurred almost simultaneously and the children all stood mesmerized, watching the strange display. He wasn't sure how long it went on, but when it finally stopped, the lights went out completely.
The girl gasped and ran toward him. "My puppy!" she cried. She ran and grabbed it from him, trying to turn it back on but nothing happened. "It's broken!" she cried, her eyes quickly filling with tears. "What did you do?" Avery was at a loss for words. He looked around dumbly for a moment and then quickly retreated back to his room. He closed the door, but could still hear the girl crying in the distance.
"What did I do?" he thought with exasperation. "What was that?" He paced frantically around the room; then fell on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "What's wrong with me?"
***
Avery anxiously sat in his room replaying what had happened over and over, but he couldn't figure it out. It couldn't have just been static electricity, could it? He'd never seen static that strong before. That must be it though. It was the only logical explanation. He let out a sigh of relief. Now that he felt like he had something of a handle on the situation, he could finally relax. His pulse was still high and he needed to calm down so he pulled out the sketchpad Dee had given him. He wanted to hide out in his room, but if they had a bone to pick with him, he figured there was no point in delaying the inevitable. He decided to go back into the common area and look through the comics.
On the first page, he found a comic with an anthropomorphized lemon sitting on the edge of a glass with a straw in it. The glass was about half full with lemonade and the lemon’s butt was hanging over the lip of the glass. A few drops could be seen falling from its behind into the reservoir of lemonade below. The speech bubble above the lemon said: “It ain't much, but it’s honest work.” Avery smiled. A warm feeling came over him at the memory of Dee -- and he thought about the last thing Dee had said to him. As bad as he felt now, he promised himself he wouldn’t give up so easily. He was determined to take the lemons life had given him and make lemon aid.
***
During Avery's time outside his room he looked for the little girl so he could apologize, but he was unable to find her. An hour or so had passed and sure enough, the lady from earlier showed up and beckoned him away from the common room to give him a tour. Just as Avery had suspected. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the chance for a guide, he just wasn’t all that fond of the woman’s high strung presence. He was in enough turmoil as it was. The last thing he needed was that kind of negative influence.
“Follow me,” she said curtly. Avery closed the sketchpad and placed it under his arm. Following a safe distance behind her. He didn’t want to be rude in case he needed to address her, so he considered asking her to remind him of her name, but he thought better of it. He wasn’t sure how she would react and he’d just as soon not bother.
“I can see you’ve already been in the common room," she said. "You’re free to be in here during the day, but there is a curfew of 9:00 PM. At that time you need to be in your room with the door shut. Understood?” Avery nodded instinctively, but he was still following well behind her. She stopped and turned. “Understood? She repeated. “Ye- Yes,” Avery said as loudly he could manage. “Good.”
She turned swiftly and they continued their journey throughout the building. “This is the cafeteria.” Avery looked around. The cafeteria wasn’t far away from the common room. It was only separated by one wall, with a short corridor leading to the cafeteria entrance. The room was spacious and included the large tables with built-in benches that he’d come to expect from the typical lunch room.
"Here’s the menu. We don’t have much in the way of candy, soda, or other sweets, since we pride ourselves in providing proper nutrition." Avery glanced up at the menu. It was mostly standard fair. Nothing special, and nothing particularly heinous either. The worst that could be said about the menu, was that the selection was bland. Though he hadn’t actually eaten there yet, so he might be in for an unpleasant surprise. He decided that he would reserve judgment until he actually ate at least one meal.
She showed him where the bathrooms were. Which were of course shared. They were the type of bathrooms that only a single person could enter at a time, with a lock on the door. This was good news to Avery. He much preferred it to a stall. The only downside was that the bathrooms weren’t all that close by. He didn’t have a bathroom connected to his bedroom so he would have to go out past the common area at night if he needed to relieve himself.
There were a decent amount of other rooms and areas in the building, but none of them seemed particularly important to his situation. There were administrative offices and such and she apparently didn’t feel the need to include any of them in the tour. He couldn’t complain about that. The only real place of interest left was the exterior. Which held a playground. He was actually pretty impressed by the playground. He’d seen nicer ones, but it wasn’t a tiny lame one built only for toddlers. He would probably enjoy climbing the tower or using the swings now and then.
After he’d seen the recreation area she led him back inside and showed him where the laundry was.
“Whenever you have dirty clothes, you are required to sort them in the right bin for cleaning. I better not find your stinking clothes stashed away, rotting in your closet.” She said it like he’d been convicted of that particular crime and recently been released from his sentence. “I won’t,” he said. She rolled her eyes. “I’ve heard that before.”
Her tone was starting to upset him, but he didn’t want to create any unnecessary conflict. He opted to take it on the chin and remain silent. “Before you go to bed for the night you’re required to bathe. We have a schedule for that which can be found on the board in the common area. You’ve arrived outside normal hours so we’ll have to squeeze you in now. Follow me.”
She grabbed some clothes approximately his size from the laundry and led him to the shower area. Go ahead and shower she said, standing outside the door. He waited for her to leave, but she remained in the doorway. He got in the shower fully clothed and waited for her to leave, then pulled back the curtain and looked at her pointedly. “Can you go now?” he asked, trying not to cringe. Her face turned red. “I don’t need to be around to help you. You’re old enough to take care of this yourself.” Then she slammed the door shut and left.
He was baffled. Her attitude had finally moved him from upset, to angry. “Yeah, lady” he said out loud as he removed his clothes and tossed them outside the shower onto the floor. “I’ve been old enough for years, I don’t need you hanging around.” He thought about it for a moment and then realized she was probably used to dealing with much younger children and waited outside to assist out of habit. Most of the other children in the building were much younger than him. There were only one or two kids his age, so it made sense that she was used to a specific routine with children.
He sighed, feeling a little guilty. He didn’t want to embarrass her, but it was awkward for him too. He didn’t want to be here, living in some big empty building with a bunch of strangers, awkwardly waiting to shower with some angry lady standing in the doorway. "What did I ever do to her?" he wondered. "Why doesn’t she take her rage out on somebody else? I don’t want to be here anymore than she does.” He let the hot water wash over him and after a while the anger subsided.
As soon as he’d gotten dressed, he placed his dirty laundry in the proper bins as promised and went into the cafeteria for dinner. They were having soup and he chose classic chicken. It wasn’t bad, but wasn’t anything to get excited about either. He tried to remind himself to be grateful that he was here and not out on the street. Which made him feel a little better.
He thought about hanging out in the common area for a while after dinner, but didn’t want to run into uptight lady again, so he opted to stay in his room. It felt empty and lonely. As the sun went down and people started to shuffle into their bedrooms for the night, the answer finally clicked in his mind. He couldn’t get comfortable in his new living space or his room because it didn’t feel like a home. It felt like he was living in a school. It was so industrial and impersonal. He longed for the familiar, cozy, lived-in atmosphere of his own home and bedroom. A school, in Avery's mind, wasn’t that much different than a prison.
Especially when the people he was forced to interact with on a daily basis were close to hostile. He tossed and turned in the stiff bed, wishing he was under the covers of the quilt his mother had made for him. He wanted to cry again, but he wouldn’t allow himself the luxury. “You’re not a baby anymore, he scolded himself again. "You need to act like a grown up now." He had only been here for a day, but it already felt like a lifetime. He couldn’t wait to get out. He couldn’t wait to go home.