“Venonat!”

“It is beautiful, truly a work of architectural magnificence.”

“Sandslash.”

“I knew you had good taste, my friend. Indeed, an engineering masterpiece of the modern age.”

“Are you three done?”

“Oh, but I wouldn’t expect a barbarian such as you to appreciate the welcoming winds of Articuno’s gentle breath.”

“Maybe this BARBARIAN would also appreciate the aircon if you three would stop blocking the bloody door!” My fellow ventilation aficionados and I moved further into the building at that. Our decision had absolutely nothing to do with the way Yasmin ground out the word 'barbarian’. Yes, nothing at all I assure you. “Next time, I’m leaving you in the cave where I found you.”

“Veno?”

“You, I’ll still save.”

“Veno!” Venonat chirped in pleasure as Yasmin patted her head on the way past. What a little traitor; she's lucky she's cute.

After a gruelling hike, we finally found ourselves at the North Ranger Outpost for Viridian Forest. It took all day, with a speed I could just barely manage. The stars had come out a few hours ago, and the last stretch was a half-mile path that started after the edge of the forest through some grassy plains. The heat of the day hadn’t left much with the night, and I was burning up from all the physical activities.

“So, I take it the man napping at the desk with the big Chansey sign would be the man to see about some good old snake oil?” I asked while already making a beeline for the unconscious nurse. I almost made it to him too before I felt my legs give out, and I all but collapsed into one of the booths against the reception area wall. “Venonat, would you mind helping Ekans out?” I passed his ball to Venonat's outstretched hand, only to see it get intercepted by a quick snatch from Yasmin. In the moments of seeing the hand grip around his ball and realizing it was Yasmin taking him, I felt a pulse of panic in my chest. It quickly settled when I saw it was Yasmin, but I hadn’t realized how much the sight of someone else taking him away would feel.

“I got him, you rest.” I closed my eyes, only to feel a sharp prod on my ankle.

“Ow, that hurt!” Sandslash gave an apologetic look while moving away the offending claw.

“Rest, Cain. Not sleep.”

“Fine, jeez, act like I’m on my deathbed, why don’t you.” I got another glare for that comment, but Yasmin decided not to take the bait and moved to the nurse's desk while giving the ranger at the reception desk a wave to sit back down. A young guy in his twenties with an air of casual indifference that was as much a part of him as his shaggy blonde hair and soul patch. He wore the standard brown ranger uniform. The jacket was missing and his shirt, untucked, hinted at a laid-back attitude, a stark contrast to the more by-the-book rangers I had seen at the previous outpost. He had been sitting at a desk opposite to the nurses, reading a book with his feet up until my little episode. Only a night shifter could switch from relaxed to emergency mode and right back to not giving a shit as soon as someone else took charge of the issue at hand. Respect, my brother sloth, respect.

I took the opportunity to look around the room from my booth. It was a fair bit larger than the previous outpost. I could see a door with a keypad lock that had a sign indicating it led to rooms 101-120, and there was another for the staircase entrance. The room had a large open area we had crossed at the entrance with some sofas and a large TV. Across both walls sat the booths I managed to make it to. Beyond that, there were just the two built-in desks that our night shifters were at. The nurse at the desk was the epitome of weariness. His age evident in the lines etched deeply into his face. His hair, more salt than pepper, was a dishevelled mess, thinning significantly at the top. He was slumped over his desk, lost in slumber, a testament to the never-ending demands of his profession or its proximity to a poison infested forest. His uniform seemed to have given up on neatness just as much as he had, with creases that told tales of long hours and endless nights.

There were only two other kids in the room whom I assumed were trainers. One, a girl, was sitting at a booth two down from me, watching a video on her phone with headphones; a Rattata dozing on the table in front of her. The other, a boy, was spread out on a couch watching a Pokémon battle that was showing on the television. It kept stopping while a host of the show pointed out details in the freeze frames. It seemed like a recording of a previous battle that the presenter was breaking down for the audience—more like an instructional TV show than a sports broadcast. It showed a Tangela being overpowered by an Ivysaur as both Pokémon had used the same move, Vine Whip. The presenter explained how this was a weakness in the Tangela Pokémon, that it would almost always lose out to Ivysaur in the strength department—a gap that would only continue to grow when Ivysaur evolves. He even went so far as to advise aspiring trainers to consider catching other Pokémon over Tangela if they planned to use physical strength-based strategies. He did mention that the gap could be overcome with training but to always keep in mind the average starting point of each species. The fight then resumed, and he began talking about something else.

“We will show you, won’t we, T!” The boy watching the show stood up, clutching the remote, and started yelling at the screen. I saw a vine wiggle up and start waving angrily at the screen, mimicking the boy and his remote.

“Is this guy an idiot?” I said out loud to myself without thinking.

“Hey, what did you call me!?!” The trainer turned to yell at me. Before he and his Tangela could pull themselves over the couch to get at me, I simply pointed at the screen to clear up the misunderstanding. The last thing I need on my rap sheet is beating up a minor. “Talking about the presenter.” I got a good look at him then, young, probably a first-year trainer; he looked to be maybe 11 or 12. I really can’t believe they actually let kids roam the wilds like this. What if they had gotten caught in that weather?

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“Oh, sorry, just don’t like people dissing my partner, you know.”

“Sure, I get it. Would feel the same way about my Pokémon, but really I wouldn’t worry about what he is saying.” The kid relaxed at that, settling back down. “I mean, you just need to evolve Tangela, and he would even trump a Venusaur in the strength department.” And now the kid is staring at me like I just said two plus two is negative X.

“Eh, kid.” The night shift ranger had put his book down and was calling me from the side of the room.

“Yeah? And I would prefer Cain.” I point at the couch potato. “That’s a kid.”

“Max…” The ranger introduces himself. “…and Tangela doesn’t evolve.” Oh, I, like Hagrid, should not have said that. I guess certain evolutions haven’t been discovered yet. I assumed since Officer Jenny said my “family” was from Galar a lot of this would be common knowledge.

“My mista….” Before I could backpedal, the trainer had jumped into my booth with Tangela and was all but standing on the table in front of me. His face full of the kind of hope and excitement that only the innocent could muster.

“Really!!!” I should just crush his dreams right here. Santa isn’t real, and neither is Tangrowth. I couldn’t do it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sucker for a pouting brat, but he wasn’t the only person watching me. Tangela was quivering in front of me with those great big puppy dog eyes. I look to check if Yasmin is going to save me from my big mouth, but she has gone into a back room with the nurse. No going back now, and while I don’t remember every detail about every Pokémon, the gods shouldn’t have dumped me here if they didn’t want me using the meta knowledge.

“It’s not a normal evolution, it’s move based if I recall right.” Max had given up on his book and wandered over to join us in the booth. “Tangela should evolve into a Tangrowth if you have it learn the move Ancient Power.” Please tell me they at least know about that move.

“I didn’t know Tangela could learn that move.” Max muttered stroking his soul patch.

“This is awesome T, we are going to crush the gyms.”

“Whoa there kid, even if what Cain was it?” I nod. “If what Cain is saying is right you still would have to learn the move and I would advise against evolving a Pokémon too early.”

“But Maaaax, T wants too…” the boy started moaning at the ranger in a tone only shared between siblings. “I’m telling mum you were being mean to T.” There it is, called it.

“You little…” Sigh. “Alright, if you get your boulder badge on the first try, I will send you a training regime tailored for the move.” He gives me a look that says both; this better work and this is all your fault. My bad, hopefully he won’t hold this against me.

“Really, thanks, Max.” With that the kid bounced up from his seat and ran back to his sofa to yell at the presenter some more. How can someone have so much energy at this time of night?

“I’m surprised you’re taking my word on this so easily?” I put the question to Max.

“Hmm, I’m not. Wouldn’t waste Zack’s Journey training a move T might not even be able to learn.” He chuckles looking at my confused face. He clears it up by releasing a Pokémon, a mountain of a Tangela, next to himself. It is easily twice the size of T, maybe even three times at a push. The monstrosity of tentacles blearily blinks its eyes open. “Will test it out myself first. How about it, Tangela, up for learning a new move?” The tan-giant just blinks a few times then prods his own ball with a tentacle then disappears in another crimson flash. Max scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Not a night Hoot-Hoot?”

“No, he is very much not, guess I got a little excited at the idea too.” He shrugs it off then gives me a nod and headed back to his desk to resume his previous post. NPC encounter complete I guess.

“Cain.” I look over to the nurses’ station to see that Yasmin has reappeared. “You’re up with the nurse, you going to be okay?” She gives a concerned look, which I appreciate.

“Yeah, I should manage. How is my boy?”

The nurse came out of the side door and answered for Yasmin. “He has ruptured multiple muscles along his body. It will heal with some help. Won’t need surgery, but it came damn close.” He made it very clear that he was not happy with Ekans’ condition and who he was holding responsible. Not that he's wrong; my plan is what caused Ekans to strain himself. “Now, get your zombie-looking ass in here before you die in my waiting room.” With that, the grumpy man doing his best to break the happy Nurse Joy stereotype went back through the door.

“What a lovely man.” I say to Yasmin as Venonat helped me walk to the door.

“I’d say he actually is and you caught him at a bad time.”

“But?”

“But, that would be a lie.” She just grinned at me evilly. So much for all that concern from a moment ago. “I’m going to get some rest; I have some things I want to check on in the morning. Nurse Woods is going to keep you in observation overnight in case…” She didn’t finish the sentence, but we both knew what she was getting at.

“Alright,” I yawned out the word as I walked past her into the hall through the door. “See you later.” With that, Yasmin left in another direction, which I assumed had accommodations for the Rangers. I saw Nurse Woods moving around inside another room at the end of the hall and made my way there. On the way down the hall, I noticed multiple rooms on either side with viewing windows. There was medical equipment and cots for sick Pokémon. Only two of the rooms had visible Pokémon. In one, a Seel looked like it had eaten an out-of-date berry, its normally white cheeks tinged with green and a bucket next to the bed, which I was grateful from this angle I couldn’t see the contents of. In the other occupied room was Ekans, not in a Cot but rather a large glass case, like an incubator. A Chansey in the room made notes on a clipboard while some kind of light shone over him. There was also a machine in the corner of the room with 10 slots for Pokéballs. Only one was filled, and it showed a representation of a Heracross with health information next to it.

Tap tap.

“Chansey,” Chansey tapped the glass to get my attention and pointed down the end of the hall to indicate that I should get moving. I reluctantly left my snake to 'microwave' and made my way down the hall to a larger room that was made up into a ward with about 6 beds for people. No one else was there except Nurse Woods. I bet this place gets much busier after the season starts. I noticed a rack on the wall full of spray bottles labelled 'antidote' with images of various bug-types on them. I had thought the idea of a cure-all antidote was unrealistic. When in doubt seek the advice of a medical professional.

“Isn’t there a cure-all antidote?” I gestured to the rack. Nurse Grumpy looked up from preparing a machine by one of the beds. He did not look impressed by my question. No, I was not dropped on my head as a child, stop looking at me like that, Gramps.

“It’s not as effective. Good to carry for trainers in an emergency since you don’t know what you might come across in the wild, but for treatment, it's better to have the specific antidote if you can.” Makes sense, don’t want to be running around with the Weedle antidote then take a Belch from Ekans.

“Do you have a couple of bottles of Ekans or Venonat antidote I could buy?” After I source some more cash, thank Heracross for finding my stuff, or I was going to be in a very bad place financially speaking.

“You won’t need it; your Poison-types will recover from poisons easier than other Pokémon. Just get a bottle of the basic antidote to help them along if you are training them against each other.” He looked at me a little surprised that I seemed to care about their health but quickly covered it with grumpiness.

“I’ll pick up a bottle but would still prefer to have a bottle of their antidotes. Can heal any trainers Pokémon after we battle. No point leaving them poisoned, especially if there is more than one use per bottle.” This took grumpy by surprise; he stopped fondling the machine to give me a good look up and down this time. He also took a minute and examined Venonat standing next to me. Not sure what test we just endured, but the results must have come up with a passing grade.

“I have a spare bottle of each, the basic antidote goes fast and takes a lot to be effective. The specific ones work better, so the bottles will last a while. I’ll look out a bottle of each for you.” Is that begrudging respect in your eye, Nurse Woods? “Don’t worry about the money.”

“Thanks. This for me?” I gestured to the bed next to the machine he was setting up. To no one’s surprise, it was. He passed me various medical doodads and showed me where to attach them. Basically, it was to monitor me while I slept. Clearly, Yasmin had given the rundown on my little episode to him. He also gave me some pills to help with the fever. Nice to finally have that diagnosed. After that, he told me to get some sleep and the machines would let him know if I croak. His exact words. What a caring man. I returned the equally exhausted Venonat and let the black take me. I was out within seconds of closing my eyes.