Here we go again, clink clink – that's the sound of the police. To be more specific, it's the sound my new metal bracelet makes when I try to move my arm away from my bed's frame. It seems that during the night, I either visited a kinky jewellery store or got handcuffed in my sleep.

“Good morning, Mr. West,” the words dripped with sarcasm. I opened my eyes to see Officer Jenny standing in front of my bed, disappointment etched on her face. The clock on the wall showed it was well into the afternoon, but it didn’t seem like the time for a smart-ass comment. “My cousin had hoped for better from you.” Wow, just wow. They really aren’t kidding in the shows about the whole ‘they look alike’ thing. This Jenny is the spitting image of the one I met previously. If they aren’t clones, someone’s genes are working overtime.

“Officer, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I could try to figure out why I've been arrested again, but that would just make things worse. It's like when a cop pulls you over and asks why they did it; they're just hoping you'll admit to something – either the actual offense or something extra. I heard some yelling coming from the ward door but couldn’t make out the words. I decided to focus on the more immediate issue.

“Don’t play dumb…” Why not? It’s like my best move. “…We received a report from the morning shift about your Pokémon abuse.” Wait, seriously? Am I going to get pulled up every time Ekans or Venonat gets in a fight? I know it got rough for him, but I’m not exactly in top form myself.

“Hold on a minute, Ekans was hurt battling a Rhydon in the Viridian Labyrinth. I never harmed him.” Oh, my Arceus. This might be the first time I’ve been interrogated and am actually innocent, both as old and new Cain. Is this what normal people feel like?

“Even if I believed you, why would you be down there? How would you even know it existed unless you were trying to disappear?” She gave me a scathing look. I preferred the last Jenny. “Is that what happened, Mr. West? You decided to flee into the caves instead of going on your journey? Did you plan to meet up with other Team Rocket members in the labyrinth?”

“Whoa there, how did we get from Pokémon abuse to fleeing custody?”

“Either you wilfully entered an area beyond your Pokémon’s ability, endangering them in an attempt to flee custody, or I can only presume that you harmed Ekans yourself.” I don’t think I like being innocent; this is much harder when you can’t just make up lies.

“Look, Lady, I didn’t hurt Ekans. We got swept away by a flood while hiding from that storm in a cave.”

“That isn’t possible, I’m afraid, Mr. West.”

“How so, oh great omniscient Officer Jenny?” Whoops, I definitely said the snarky bit out loud.

“All trainers were prevented from entering the forest by the rangers after the oncoming storm was detected; two days prior to the storm and one day after for their safety.” She shook her head as if my 'lies' were pathetic.

Before I could reply to Officer Jenny, the door slammed open. Yasmin, looking quite wrathful, stormed into the ward, nearly ripping the door off its hinges. She was followed by a ranger who appeared as though she had just been read the riot act. This one seemed more like a cleric than a great explorer. She closed the door behind them as they entered. Well, kids, we knew she was going to see old Cain's record someday. It was nice while it lasted.

“Get those cuffs off him right now!” Yasmin seethed, taking both me and Officer Jenny by surprise. The other ranger, who looked annoyingly familiar, winced but didn’t seem as surprised by Yasmin’s demands.

“Ranger, this is an ongoing police investigation. Rangers have no authority over…” Officer Jenny tried to assert her authority over the situation, but Yasmin wasn’t having any of it.

“Yeah, I heard,” she interrupted, grabbing the ranger she had come in with and pushing her forward. “Arrest her if you want a collar so bad.” Wait, isn’t that the woman I registered with when I went into the forest? A lightbulb went off in my head at that realization. I think I’m starting to see what happened here. She saw Cain's record and let me go into the forest despite the storm warning. What a hypocrite; Ekans got hurt because of her.

“There was a mix-up on the day of the storm, and Mr. West was allowed into the forest by mistake,” the cleric-like ranger all but squeaked out. Mix-up my foot. “It seems there was a note on Mr. Wood's file that led the morning staff at this facility to call the authorities if it seemed he may have abused his Pokémon.”

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“A note you added, Sandra, along with being the one to let him into the forest during a weather warning,” Yasmin accused. Go, Yasmin! She’s our girl. Seriously, I would get out the pom-poms if I had any. I think cheerleaders are a thing here, didn't Gary have some?

“It would seem to line up with Mr West’s story. I think Sandra and I will need to have a conversation about abuse of power,” Officer Jenny was starting to look as mad as Yasmin. “However, given Mr West’s previous record I will still need to confirm the wellbeing of his Pokémon…”

Officer Jenny was cut off again as the door burst open for the second time, hinges groaning in protest at the continued abuse. The door bounced closed itself from the force. Seven feet of pool noodle slithered in, his lithe body moving with an urgency that left everyone in the room momentarily stunned. Ekans, scales glinting under the harsh light of the ward, navigated past the startled onlookers with remarkable agility. Before anyone could react, Ekans reached me, his demeanour changing instantly from fierce determination to gentle affection. In a fluid motion, he coiled around me, wrapping me in a serpentine embrace that was surprisingly tender, if you ignore the fact this is likely how he would also treat prey. Ekans nuzzled his head against mine before his expressive eyes switched to worry as he searched my body for injuries.

“Ekans!”

“All the better for seeing you back in action, bud.” Clink – Forgetting about the cuffs for a moment, I tried to pat Ekans’ head with my good arm but came up short as it was stopped by said cuff. My bad arm had found its way into fresh bandages and sling at some point. I presume Nurse Woods took some liberties while I was sleeping. Ekans noticed my jewellery and started hissing in protest at the other occupants of the room. “Actually, she’s with us,” I motion with my head towards Yasmin. Ekans gave me a nod of affirmation, then refocused his affronted hissing at the other two.

Officer Jenny let out an embarrassed cough into her fist. “Perhaps we have been a little hasty in our assumptions in this case,” she came around the side of the bed and, with a wary eye on Ekans, slowly uncuffed me. Ekans gave Jenny a victorious smirk before relaxing into a contented smile as I gave him some ‘good boy’ pats on the head that were long overdue.

“Why the embarrassed look ladies? Never seen a boy playing with his snake in bed before?” Apparently, the other three didn’t find my joke as funny as I did. Sandra avoided eye contact with everyone. Officer Jenny was clearly trying to concoct another reason to arrest me, while Yasmin facepalmed like a pro.

“Should have left him to die,” Yasmin muttered under her breath, but I'm pretty sure we all caught it. Sandra flinched again, and Officer Jenny gave her a not-too-friendly glare.

“We will leave you to recover, as I need to have a few words with Sandra in private. Ranger, if you could provide a full report when you have time, it would be appreciated.” With that, Officer Jenny led the terrified-looking Sandra to the door. What happened next gave me no pleasure, I assure you. As Sandra went to open the door, it crashed open for the third time. This time the hinges had had enough, and the door came away from the wall, landing on Sandra. A wild-eyed Nurse Woods, in Chansey pyjamas, came flying into the ward, waving a phone that was beeping and flashing.

"Is the boy dead? What's happening? Sit-rep, people, why are you all just standing there!" He rushed over to my bed to examine me. "Someone get that girl out from under the door, what’s she playing at!" After a few seconds of scrutinizing me and the machine next to my bed, he started cursing everyone in the room. Then, he smoothed out his pyjamas and walked right back out the doorway as if nothing had happened. Yasmin filled me in later; apparently, my heart rate spiked when Ekans showed up. He also knocked a few of the monitoring devices off me when he wrapped me in his embrace. To Nurse Woods's monitoring app, it looked like my heart rate shot through the roof and then immediately flatlined. He came rushing from his quarters thinking I had, in fact, 'croaked'.

After retrieving Sandra from under the door, Officer Jenny left for parts unknown, taking Sandra with her.

“Is it always going to be like this with you?” Yasmin asked, leaning against the wall.

“Pretty much my entire life,” I replied.

“Isn’t that like a week for you?” She inquired.

“Not including however long Kadabra kept me in a coma, yup.”

“You’re going to age me into my grave before the season even starts,” she sighed, exasperated.

“When is that?” It would be nice to experience some normality as far as this world goes for a bit. Yasmin glanced at her watch.

“The announcement is in about 20 minutes. Get dressed and we can join the crowd in the reception to watch it.” She pushed away from the wall to leave, but I stopped her out of curiosity.

“How did Sandra get here, and why? Surely, she wouldn’t come just to get caught out.”

“I called the outpost this morning and asked her to fly over with her Fearow,” Yasmin explained, scratching the back of her head. “I said that you had shown up at the outpost and we needed someone to ID you since you came in with a wounded Ekans. Pretended you had lost your Trainer card in the forest.”

“That makes sense that she would rush over to drop me in it, but how did you know it was her?”

“The note on your record; she flagged it for when you showed up at the outpost. The note was put there the day before the storm, with her system login.”

“Which there would be no reason for her to do unless she saw me in the outpost that day.”

“And didn’t stop you from entering the forest, yeah.” She sighed. “I was dealing with all that, so I didn’t notice the morning nurse had seen the record when checking on Ekans and called Jenny. Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I appreciate the help. I’m not used to people going the extra mile for me,” I said, feeling my body get squeezed. “Pokémon excluded, of course. I figured after you saw my record…” She waved my worries away as if they were nothing.

“Not your memories, not your record. I’ve seen you with Venonat enough to know what kind of trainer you are. Sandslash and Heracross would vouch for you too, I suspect. Not to mention this one.”

“Ekansss.” Ekans raised himself up to look all regal at the praise.

“As far as I’m concerned, that was another person. If he shows back up, then I’ll deal with him. But Arceus help me, I actually like this version of you,” Yasmin shrugged, hitting the mark far closer than she even realized. “Ekans, I’ll leave you in charge. Get him dressed and meet me in the reception.”

“Ek Ekans,” he saluted Yasmin with his tail as she left, then slithered away to drag over my bag. I got out of bed and removed the rest of the medical doodads, hoping that wouldn’t ruin any more sleep for Nurse Woods. Wondering if I would ever get to battle another trainer, I got dressed and left to join the commotion coming from down the hall.