It occurred to me as my 'murder spaghetti' launched himself through the air that I had no idea what moves he knew. Who would go first? Ekans landed with a thump on our side of the field.
“Happiny, use Defense Curl,” Kirby instructed. Ah, so it was his move. Ekans took Kirby’s command as a starting signal and began slithering over to Happiny. In response, Happiny scrunched up into a ball, and her fur coat seemed to thicken. Okay, our turn now. Ekans was nearly right next to Happiny. Let’s go with a Wrap and tie this up.
“E...”
“Happiny! Sock them one with Pound!” Kirby interrupted. Happiny sprang out of her ball impression and punched Ekans right on the snout. Ekans' momentum carried him right into the diminutive Pokémon's surprisingly mighty fist. His head was sent reeling back over his body as he became a tangled mess.
“Hey, that was our turn!” I protested.
“What?” Kirby looked puzzled.
“You used two moves in a row! That’s not how this is supposed to work; you cheat.”
“What kind of grunt are you to complain about cheating? And that is perfectly legal,” he retorted. Well, that added a lot more options to the chess game.
“No wonder Team Rocket are trash if they practice taking turns, wimps. HAHA!” I refused to be ridiculed by this walking advertisement for cotton candy.
"Alright, let's play," I said as Ekans righted himself. It looked like we had matching noses now. "Ekans, blind them with a Poison Sting."
Ekans whipped his body around, aiming the rattle at the end of his tail towards Happiny's eyes like a fencer's point. The rattle began to flicker purple, and small barbs seemed to grow around it but failed to take form. So, that's what type-energy looks like. We'd have to train that move. No matter, I never needed it to work. I didn’t even know if he had learned the move; I just needed our opponents to...
“Happiny, dodge to the side!” Kirby instructed. Happiny, clearly on the same wavelength, was already jumping to the left, allowing the tail to pass by.
“Now, Ekans, Leer!” I commanded. Ekans, with his mid-section on the ground and tail extended out, still had his upper body free to move. His body formed a rough V-shape, allowing him to easily track the bouncing ball of enthusiasm with his head and, more importantly, his eyes. As soon as Happiny's legs touched the ground and she lifted her face to find her opponent, Ekans locked eyes and sent forth a threatening gaze. Intimidated, Happiny's body locked up for just a moment. And a moment was all we needed. Without needing a command, Ekans rolled and twisted to position his tail behind him and pushed forward, launching once again at Happiny.
“Happiny, Pound again, just like before!” Kirby instructed. To its credit, the little Pokémon made an attempt but was still shaking off the effects of the Leer. A stumble forward as Happiny raised its left fist gave Ekans the chance to shift his weight to the right. Before Happiny could recover, Ekans had cocooned its entire form within a Wrap. I heard a few slapping sounds, which I assumed were Happiny trying to pound her way out, as I saw Ekans strain to hold his position, the ripple of his muscles contracting visibly. After a tense minute, Ekans released his hold, slumping to the ground, clearly exhausted, revealing an unconscious Happiny. Happiny hadn’t gone down without a fight, as I could see a few bruises forming on the side of Ekans that would have been on the inside of the cocoon.
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“Happiny has fainted. Winner: Cain and Ekans,” a woman’s voice rang out. I whipped my head around so quickly to find Officer Jenny standing on the side of the field that I nearly catapulted myself into my third life. Star Wars would be cool, if any gods happen to be listening.
“Ekans, you did it, pal. Great job.” I turned back and walked over to my weary partner. Crouching down slowly, I offered him a grin, which he returned. I chose not to startle him by rushing up or initiating physical contact.
“Here, you did better than I would expect from a criminal,” Kirby said, standing next to us. He was returning Happiny in a flash of red with one hand and holding out Ekans’ scuffed ball to me with the other. I reached up and took it from him.
“You feel like a nap, Ekans?” I asked, holding the ball up. “Just till I can get to the Centre and get you fixed up.” Ekans simply nodded and nudged the button on the front, disappearing into his Pokéball. I stood back up and offered Kirby a handshake, which he, to my surprise, accepted without trying to crush my knuckles or anything.
“OWWW!” He exclaimed. What? I said he didn’t. Both Jenny and Kirby gave me a look, to which I simply responded by pointing at my nose and the remnants of the rouge waterfall on my face. This apparently was enough to keep me from going back to the cells, as Jenny rolled her eyes and Kirby looked somewhat guilty.
“You really don’t remember, do you?” he said as we exchanged the nod all men know means the beef has been squashed, but neither of us was going to admit to feeling any particular way about it.
“Not a thing.”
“Ekans does. You saw that yourself.”
“I know.”
“And I saw you.”
“Saw me what?”
“Saw you doing your best to keep him at ease.” Don’t read too much into it. I can't go scaring the danger noodle away or worse, provoke him into attacking me. I've got to at least get out of this town first. I mean, I’ve only made it across the road and already the cops have tracked me down. Not wanting to give him another nod of respect, I settled for an ambiguous shrug and turned to Jenny, who was walking over to us.
“Thought you had up and run off on us,” Jenny jokingly scolded.
“And how did you find me? I clearly took every effort to make my grand escape across the street,” I quipped, earning my first honest laugh from the woman. It was a pleasant sound, accompanied by a snort. That's how you know a laugh is genuine, a wheeze or a snort. I found myself smiling despite myself.
“Haha, well, all the reports of an escaped sociopath fighting off his nurse in the park did pique my interest.” I looked around to notice a few less parents and children, and others putting phones away that were no doubt recording, presumably in case the nurse in question needed evidence.
“In my defense, he is the one who started it,” I pointed out. A sheepish Kirby tried to avoid making eye contact with Jenny as her professionalism resurfaced.
“Do you wish to press charges, Mr. West?”
“Would you mind giving Ekans a once-over for me and showing me around the Pokémon Centre, maybe even directions to a decent thrift store?” I asked Kirby.
“Of course, I was planning to offer just that,” he replied, looking somewhat relieved. Lucky for him, mom didn’t raise no snitch. Well, my mom didn’t really do any of the raising, but that’s beside the point.
“I’m good, Officer. Thank you,” I replied.
“Hmm, very well, but we will still be having words later, Samuel Dennis Joy,” Jenny warned. Joy? Well, that explained a lot. I supposed 'Jenny' would be a family name, too.
“Yes, Officer Jenny,” Kirby responded.
“Middle-named? Someone’s in trouble!” I sang, earning another laugh from Jenny and a glare from Kirby. In my head, I choose the names. Samuel who, I ask you.
“So, Jenny, are Kirby and I free to go?” I asked, gesturing to Kirby in response to her raised eyebrow.
“For now, but take this.” She handed me my Trainer ID with the headshot that had been taken of someone who had just woken up from a coma, wearing borrowed scrubs. Let’s just say, I've been done wrong in my lives, but this was a downright war crime.
“Any chance for a reshoot?”
“Get a few badges under your belt, and I’ll consider it,” Jenny replied. With that, she departed to reassure the local population that it was safe to walk the streets and that no nurses were in danger of appearing in the obituaries.
“What is a Kirby?”
“You are, my friend, you are,” I said, picking a random direction and beginning to walk.
“Clothes or Pokémon Centre first?” I asked.
“Shouldn’t we get them looked at as soon as possible?” Kirby gave me an approving look but quickly disregarded my concerns. “Pokémon are sturdy by nature; neither was seriously injured in that fight. Honestly, most of those injuries Ekans received would probably heal on their own in time. Happiny will need longer but will wake up soon. Still, I think it's best to get Ekans checked, given…” he paused briefly, choosing his words carefully, “…his recent medical history.”
I pondered the choice for a moment and decided to go with the Pokémon Centre. It seemed wise to build some goodwill while I could, before I found myself in need of spending it.
“Let’s go tell your boss why you've been skiving off work to assault minors, shall we?”
“You sure you don’t want to head to the thrift store first?” Kirby pleaded. As both Pokémon and pedestrians gave us a wide berth, throwing us some serious side-eye, I started laughing to myself. I grabbed Kirby by the shoulders and nudged him forward.
"Suck it up, Kirby, and let’s get going," I said, dashing his hopes of a reprieve.