Gloriously majestic...

No other words could describe it. It commanded such presence that you couldn’t look away. I’d seen them before, of course, in WWII documentaries or old kung fu movies. But in person, it was quite a sight.

Oh, don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I haven’t quantum leaped to body number three just yet. I’m not about to throw on a bomber jacket and pilot a fighter jet or anything. The wondrous view in front of me was enough proof that I was still in the Pokémon world, or at least continuing the same hallucination my brain was giving me as a 9mm bullet ripped its way out the backside of my skull.

Let’s assume the former, as it’s a whole lot less depressing, shall we? Now, what's important is figuring out how it keeps its shape. Surely, they must be using their…

Smack! The sound of files hitting the interrogation desk forced me to tear my inquisitive gaze away from Kadabra’s flawless moustache. I’d honestly forgotten that Officer Jenny was in the room.

“Don’t worry, Mr West, as you are a minor, we are not allowed to use telepathy to access your thoughts,” she stated somewhat regretfully, resting her elbows on the desk and propping her head on the knuckles of her interlaced fingers.

Well, I might just be able to avoid the dissection lab yet. Never thought I would be glad for a copper’s professionalism. “What do you mean he is a body snatcher from another dimension, Kadabra? Interdimensional threat, sound the alarms! Summon Arceus to banish this demon from whence they came.” Variations of that thought had crossed my mind a few times since I woke up cuffed to this chair.

The bit about being a minor took me by surprise too. A glance at the mirror taking up most of the right wall showed the truth of the statement. Definitely a one-way mirror, not that I cared who was on the other side, if anybody. The young adult looking back was what interested me. Hair short on the sides and long in front, like Johnny Bravo with a faux hawk, but the color was a dark copper red instead of the lady man’s classic blonde. The eyes were odd, closer to true crimson than any sort of brown. At least Cain seemed to keep in fairly good shape, with a slim athletic build. Probably helped with my recent Kanto Ninja Warrior tryouts.

Reading from the files on the desk, she continued, “Cain West, age 17, from Vermillion City. Parents: Audrey and Peter West, immigrants from Galar before you were born.”

She took a breath to check my reaction. I didn’t know what she was hoping for, but I was happy to sit quietly and take the free info dump.

“Missing person’s report filed two years ago when you ran away after getting mixed up with the wrong crowd, according to your mother, that’s the reason anyway.”

She put the papers back in her folder and closed it – universal and, apparently, interdimensional cop code for 'I know everything I need to about you.'

“Given your stints in and out of juvie in your adolescent years, I think you were more likely the bad crowd for those other youths.”

I broke my silence, the burning question in my mind unable to wait any longer. “I need to know,” I said, turning to Kadabra as Jenny raised an eyebrow, “Are you using your psychic abilities to keep the strands so perfectly together when you stroke the 'stache, or is it impeccable grooming? I just don’t see how it keeps its shape when you handle it with such pondering grace.” Officer Jenny let out a great sigh at my question.

“Please, Mr West, while Kadabra can’t read your mind, he is authorised to sense when you are lying. No need for smartass remarks and pointless questions aimed to distract,” she admonished.

Kadabra, who had been puffing up his chest as I asked my question, gained a rather disgruntled look as he turned to Officer Jenny.

“Kadabra ka ka da,” he stated.

“What do you mean it was an honest question? How can any sane person be curious about your grooming habits while in an interrogation?” Jenny protested.

“Ka, Kadabra?” Kadabra retorted in a shocked and hurt tone, raising his hand to cover the bountiful hairs jutting from his lip.

“No, I’m not saying you don’t have a lovely moustache. Of course, others would be fascinated by its mysteries...” Watching Jenny backpedal and splutter her reply to save face was entertaining. However, having a walking, talking lie detector in the room gave me pause. I needed to focus; I didn’t want to spend the next five to ten years of this life in lock-up. What if I got a Machamp as a cellmate? I couldn’t knock the biggest guy in the yard out when he had four more arms than me.

“I didn’t kidnap the kid or Pokénap any Magmar.” That was true, at least for me; I couldn’t speak for Cain.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“Nice try, Mr West, but we found you in the hideout, in Rocket uniform, and Miss Adams has testified to you working with the other Rocket members,” she countered.

“I don’t know who Miss Adams is, but I can say without any doubt I have no memories of ever working for Team Rocket.”

“Kadabra,” the Pokémon interjected.

Jumping out of her seat, Jenny exclaimed, “What do you mean, true? One nice comment about your facial hair and you're willing to lie for a criminal?”

“Kadabra!” he insisted.

“I’m sorry…” Jenny began to apologize as she sat back down next to a now quite disgruntled Kadabra. I locked eyes with the Pokémon and glanced Jenny's way, giving an eyeroll. He snorted a short laugh. Jenny, missing the byplay, reseated herself.

“So, you have no recollection of Lily Adams, is that what you’re saying?” Lily! That little traitor. Next, she’ll be telling me Ekans picked me out of a lineup while I was unconscious.

“Or of the gross mistreatment of an Ekans who has confirmed being in your care after capture?”

Ha! Called it… wait, no, this is a bad thing. Damn.

“Not quite. What I’m saying is, I didn’t know by 'Miss Adams' you were referring to Lily.” A good start, now to reel in the lie detector with a cleverly worded statement. “I woke up with a thumping skull and a slab of concrete on me, and as far as I’m concerned, I have no memories of my life in this world before that point.” Perfect, and now for the finisher to get that sentence reduced – show me a Caterpie-level cellmate. “My only memories of being in that uniform are of a little girl about to die and doing everything in my power to save her and Ekans.”

“Kadabra.”

This time, Jenny had the decency not to shout down her partner as she took in my statements and what I hoped was an all-clear from my moustachioed buddy.

“Amnesia?” she looked at me warily, as if I were the one with a partner who could defy the laws of physics.

I shrugged, as there was no safe answer for that one. “The only reason I know the name to go with this face is 'Mr West' is because you told me.” Was that concern for your fellow human I saw in those amber eyes, with a side order of pity? Man, I’m good. Wait, did I just jinx it?

“Well, I think that settles it, Officer,” a man stated as he walked into the room as if he owned it. He was dressed in a classic Mafia Don pinstripe suit with a matching hat.

Oh, come on… My rickety bridge over a raging river just turned into a tightrope over the grand bloody canyon. At that point, I stared at the one-way mirror, putting it on notice for working in a manner similar to a certain ceiling that had done me wrong.

“I’m not through with the interrogation, Gym Leader,” Jenny turned to say with an aggrieved glare.

Giovanni, the Viridian City Gym Leader and the secret head of Team Rocket. I guessed that lowly grunt Cain wasn’t supposed to know that, though. I had never snitched to the cops before, and now seemed like a very bad time to start. Record-settingly bad.

“Come now, Officer. While I understand your misgivings prior to the interview regarding his suitability for the program, with the amnesia, we are simply giving someone a fresh start who has no true connection to the errors of the past.” Could you taste ooze? I swear it was a physical thing coming off the man. “His past connections to Team Rocket may be worrisome, but they hardly matter if he can’t recall them. The boy's first instincts were to help a little girl and save his Pokémon. That is exactly the type of character we wish to foster with the program.”

“Program?” I asked with trepidation. Was this tightrope actually a lifeline? Hand me that Escape Rope, Papa Gio.

“Gym Leader Giovanni wishes to include you in a program for troubled youths, to place them on probation instead of in prison. You would be obligated to participate in the upcoming League, where you would have to report in at Pokémon Centers at regular intervals to have your teams vetted for abuse and report to your probationary ranger or trainer on any activities. It is the Gym Leader's belief that the challenge of the League season will build moral character. Idle minds and all that.”

Well, you could have sounded more convinced yourself, Jenny. It was as if you thought this wouldn't work and was a waste of everybody's time. You forgot to mention how I would be indebted to our benevolent Gym Leader Giovanni for getting me into a program that keeps me out of jail, a program that likely keeps many of his grunts in circulation. That lifeline might yet be a noose, but a rope can be cut; bars are sturdier when you don’t have an Ekans on hand.

“He barely counts as a minor at 17?”

“Barely is still on the right side of that technicality, Officer Jenny. Mr. Adams has given his support after Lily’s testimony of his selfless acts…”

Oh Lily, I never doubted you, I swear. I'll find the man who called you a traitor and give him a right kicking.

“… as for that Ekans, it has refused to leave the steps of this station after it was told Mr. West had survived and was brought here in his Psychic-induced coma once his injuries had been healed.”

I had wondered about the ribs; I would have expected to wake up in the hospital. You can’t read a mind there, Kadabra, but shutting it down for a time is allowed. That's not terrifying at all. No, I’m not ignoring Ekans, just trying to figure out if he wants to thank me or eat Cain. Guess I'd better start thinking of myself as Cain. Can't have a psychic wondering who Simon is. Not that 'Simon' was my real name, either.

“Very well, I will sign off on it with his parents’ consent. However, you have already exceeded the number of juveniles you are allowed to be responsible for under the terms of the project. Another Gym Leader or professor would have to take responsibility as his ward.” Jenny, I could kiss you for that.

“How about Blaine? I’m sure I could convince him,” Giovanni suggested. No thank you, Giovanni, I don’t want anything to do with that pyromaniac psycho. Think fast, Jenny is getting a thoughtful look on her face; we don’t want to jump out of this frying pan into the literal fire.

“I would like to work with a Poison-type gym if possible?” I suggested, and the three of them looked at me as if I had just grown an extra head. I guessed their reasons varied. Sorry, everyone, but we can't just shut up and accept this particular gift horse without scrutiny. You may never have heard of the Trojans, but I have. This wooden horse can keep its equestrian ass out of my city.

“You said the Ekans that helped save Lily is here, and that I am the one who mistreated him. If he is willing to give me a second chance, I want to prove to him that I am not the Cain of the past. If he agrees, I would try specialising in Poison types.” If I remembered correctly, Koga was the Poison Gym Leader and a loyal ninja of Kanto. Jenny should trust him to punish me if I stepped out of line. As for Giovanni, come on, Mr. Mob Boss, see it...

I could see the moment Giovanni's face changed from consideration to realisation. Should my “memories” and any perceived loyalty to Team Rocket come back, I will have had time to embed myself in a gym I suspect he has a hard time sneaking agents into.

“A wonderful idea, young Cain. I think I will leave the arrangements up to Officer Jenny. Wouldn’t want to get in everybody’s way. Might upset Koga if he thinks I’m making decisions for his gym. You can handle it, right Officer?”

Jenny stood and saluted smartly, her misgivings apparently losing out to her professionalism. “Of course, Gym Leader. I will take care of it.”

With that, the man with the intent to create a nuke-level Pokémon in Mewtwo walked out the door, and I slumped into my seat, exhausted.

“I will take care of the paperwork and, assuming Koga agrees, we can see about reintroducing you to your starter,” Jenny said as she moved to leave. She returned Kadabra to a Pokéball with a flash of red light and the real classic sound from the anime. Not going to lie, that was cool. Seeing it for real made a part of me that had been frozen over for so long, a part I had protected, crack just a little deep down inside. Which I promptly froze back over; can’t be letting that out. It's bad for everyone when a dam breaks.

She walked through the door but hesitated and popped her head back in to address the important stuff and put my mind at ease before promptly sauntering off.

“Spinarak wax – they melt down the webs and process it into a moustache wax. He’s got cases of the stuff.”