{Loading…}

{Loaded.}

[>>Now replaying: Log 3.16.2 - Relapsing in on Yourself]

Date: Error

Location: The Bunker at Progress’ Head // Zephyro’s Domain

//The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’//

//I don’t know why I even bother. Every time I quit, some sort of bullshit happens, and there’s the bottle in my hand.//

//A time-loop, then, constructed by someone with a perverse obsession of watching Iggy grow.//

[>>DATA CORRUPTED]

E1 %Tin, you have to understand the Mage Lords of those times were different from the ones who rule the Cities today. Their power was absolute, because no one else had access to Magic or Tech, and so no one could ever hurt them. People tried, of course, over and over, but the result was always the same. Everything just went back to how it always had been.%

Fuck me, I needed a better CPU, and soon.

Luckily Zephyro was there in a flash. With one stroke of his blade, he dispatched the Feral I had managed to mark. As the vermin dissolved into motes of cyan light, it left me exchanging glares with its former brother… or sister. It didn’t matter.

“Come and get me, fucker,” I panted. It sounded way less threatening than I wanted it to. The rat chittered threateningly, but then it froze as if it just had a thought and then, ever so slowly, it looked at the cyan cloud right beside it.

Oh no you fucking won’t! I thought.

But all I could do was stumble forward as the exhaustion clung to my flesh, chaining me down.

The beast turned its head to back me, and I could have sworn it grinned as it started to absorb the Logic into itself, rapidly mutating in the process.

In a manner of seconds, it healed itself, fur growing back over splotchy skin, metal devices reshaping themselves in its flesh. But it was far from done. Cyan light shone from its shifting, spasming body as it grew leaner, more muscular, and taller at the same time. The result looked more like a ferret on steroids than a rat, if that ferret was sporting oily black skin with a disturbing green sheen.

When it stopped, it eyed me hungrily and unafraid, and when it opened its mouth in challenge, its call sounded like a broken needle raking over a hard drive. The noise went straight into my head, and my vision started swimming as a blinding headache erupted between my eyes.

I could barely make out the Feral as it dashed in my direction. I shook my head and barely managed to refocus just in time to see jagged claws trailing black-green smoke, heading straight for my chest. They dug in deep, shredding cloth and raking through flesh.

[DPM integrity]

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 62% ▼▼▼

{CPU Load: ▼ 39%}

{Core Temp: ▼ 83° C}

For a brief moment, before the pain started, I wondered why my core temperature hadn’t gone up. Then I remembered my armor was still offline. Blood spilled from the gash and I cried out, clutching at my breast. I had vented enough heat to be able to use Pharus’ marking ability again, but between the ringing headache and the pain from the gash on my torso, my mind was being overrun by fear. Maybe I was making the wrong decisions. I was going to die! Maybe I should have—

No! My heartbeat throbbed in my temples and my vision narrowed. I needed to stay focused. The damn beast wouldn’t get me. Not like this, not today, not ever.

In my exhaustion, all of my instincts called on me to call on my anger. I remembered the consequences, I remembered the mistake, but I was going to die, and I needed it to keep me going. Just one last time, I told myself. But the exhaustion made it so hard to focus, to rile myself up. The fury kept slipping away, forcing me to pull it back up. I would not allow it to abandon me. I needed it. It would keep me safe. Because nothing else would.

The Feral moved, and to my senses, it was little more than a blur as it approached again. I put what little fury I could muster into a scream and let my torch blaze.

The mace trailed teal flames through the acrid smoke as I swung.

And missed.

The Feral flowed around my weapon like water, barreled into me, and sunk its teeth into my neck. My breath stopped in my throat. My entire body seized.

{CONNECTION ATTEMPT BY USER TRZster_24 }

{CONNECTING…}

Pure terror gripped me and caressed my thoughts lovingly as it swallowed them whole. The Torch clattered to the ground. I thrashed, spasmed, shook, and tried to get it off but it just kept hanging on and my neck hurt so bad and I beat it with my fists and kneed it and every time it moved it hurt so, so bad and

{CONNECTING…}

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

[DPM integrity]

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 38% ▼▼▼

yelling for help and for it to stop I threw my weight around trying to squish it and something bumped and it scratched my thighs and rolled back on top of me

{CONNECTING.}

[>>PROCESSES BY USER TRZster_24 are now highlighted]

{CONNECTED.}

{INITIALIZING DATA TRANSFER}

…

{DATA TRANSFER ABORTED}

The rat suddenly went limp and I pushed it off of me with a scream that barely sounded human to my ears. It was all primal fear mixed with remnants of rage, and very little thought.

[DPM integrity]

▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 12% ⚠ ▼▼▼

The rat landed with a wet “thwop” and melted like butter in a hot pan. Cyan motes rose from its liquefied remains, and I scrambled towards them, pulling them into me with all the desperate intent I could muster.

{INCOMING LOGIC - 175 LB}

{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 267 LB}

I twisted, trying to get my bearings, and only when I saw Zephyro did my frantic breathing start to relax. He stood over me like a guardian of old, a silhouette drawn in red and silver by the light of his moon. He was facing the square where the cyan fog that had been left behind by the acid rat started to vanish. Oh no, no, no… I reached for it, willed it to obey, and wisps of blue streamed towards me. Most of the Logic dissolved like morning mist before it could flow into my palm, but what remained still left me with an impressive bounty.

{INCOMING LOGIC - 133 LB}

{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 400 LB}

I fell on my back. We’d done it. We’d killed the fuckers. I even managed to defeat one myself.

But it had been too damn close.

“Fuck!” I yelled hoarsely. It echoed over the square, and some of the refugees trying to get into the palace paused to look at me. I grimaced and got to my knees. I couldn’t let them see me like this. Still feeling bone-tired, I willed Logic into my body, healing my wounds.

{CONSUMED LOGIC - 45 LB}

{AVAILABLE LOGIC - 355 LB}

[DPM integrity]

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ 100%

{CPU Load: ▼ 41%}

{Core Temp: ▼ 84° C}

I forced myself to think about what had just happened, even if I wanted to do literally anything but that. That was how the fear got in.

But I needed to learn. This had been too damn close to just brush off. And as if on cue, my thoughts started spiraling down to that deep, dark place where angels fear to tread.

My anger just… wasn’t there. Nothing stood between me and the realization of what I had done.

I had fucked up. Again. When would I finally learn? Not only had I overextended myself at the beginning of the fight, but when a chance to act presented itself, I’d just stood there like an idiot instead of doing what I was supposed to do.

I needed to mark enemies for Zephyro, and he would kill them. It was as easy as that.

No need for dumb heroics.

> Your place isn’t at the front, Sam. You need to stop thinking you can save everyone.

My eyes wandered down and I found the torch lying close to where the rat had tackled me to the ground. I walked over, feet dragging over the ground, my breath heavy. The flame inside the cage still glowed, and when I bent down to grab it, I noticed one of the spikes was still wet with oily blood. It must have pierced the rat’s hide as we tumbled, activating the marking skill.

I’d been lucky. Way too lucky. The realization shot through me like liquid ice. Zephyro must have noticed me tense up. For a second as he came closer, he looked like he wanted to reach out and touch my shoulder, but he didn’t. He was covered in dirt, sticky inert acid, and blood. I didn’t know how much was his own. He had started to sporadically glitch again.

“Are you alright, Sultana?” he asked. He sounded so damn concerned, as if I was a sickly little bird. And who knew, perhaps I was. In any case, he’d saved my life, again. Without his help, the Feral would have connected to my soul and scraped my mind off of it like scales off a fish. It would have eaten its fill, leaving me a broken husk.

I couldn’t handle myself. Again, someone had to save me because I was completely powerless. First Chris, then Olre and Patti, then Stax, Lorelye… But they were all gone now—except for Chris— and Zephyro was nothing but a stranger. I couldn’t rely on him, or so I kept telling myself. Not like I could rely on my friends, my apostles. Who were all gone…

With the last of my presence of mind, I barely noticed my thoughts spinning out of control, my mind fraying like a rope that pulled far too taut for far too long. It was the last thing that held my sanity as it dangled over that dark abyss. I’d fallen in once before, after Veltruvia. I couldn’t go back there.

But that fraying rope wouldn’t last forever.

Not without the anger.

And so, with Zephyro beside me, watching his beautiful city crumble, I coaxed my anger back to life. It came back like a boyfriend that you dumped and vowed to never talk to again. I twined its sneering spark into my mind as it berated me for not calling on it sooner. But, it said, it would keep me safe and sane like it always did. And of course I was in control.

I’d keep it on a short leash.

Squaring my shoulders and forcing myself to look Zephyro in the eyes, I shook my head. “I’m fine. We won, and we both survived. That’s all that matters.”

He nodded, clearly unconvinced. I squinted. Why didn’t he believe me? It was the truth. It had to be the truth. It wouldn’t happen again. Maybe I should wipe that frown off his fa— I pulled back, throttling the anger. I needed to save it for what really mattered.

…The rope in my mind frayed a little more.

“What is your plan then, Sultana?” Zephyro asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. “My people will need some time still before they are all safe in the palace, and…”

“You want us to stay out here, shield them as they go in?” I asked. But I needed to go into the palace, where I’d be safe…

Zephyro nodded. “Yes, Sultana. It humbles me most greatly to ask you this, but without my help, my people out here would surely perish, or get enslaved by the Shackled and their masters.”

I looked over the crowd, scanned their frightened faces as they looked to me for salvation. It was such a heavy burden to bear, crushing me under its indomitable weight. If I failed, all of these people would end up in chains…

Before the fear could grow, my anger ignited steadily, a pilot light banishing the dark.

“Those fuckers won’t touch them,” I said, fingers flexing around Pharus as I flicked the blood off its cage.

“But I need a better CPU, first. My firewall keeps crashing because the load gets too high.” I checked the surrounding rooftops and found them empty. “Any Shackled or Ferals around?”

“No, Sultana.”

“Good, then I’ll just do it,” I said in a voice that brooked no argument.

Again Zephyro nodded, eyes unfocused. “It is a sound plan, Sultana. I had hoped it would not be necessary for you to defend yourself this much, but… the beasts are clever, and will only get smarter as time passes and they gorge themselves on the Essence of my people.”

He looked up, towards the crowd still trying to flee into the palace. About two-thirds of the group had made it in, but that nevertheless meant several thousands of refugees still huddled outside. Zephyro’s moon bathed the scene in silver and red, horrifying and serene at once.