That was how their night ended. Of course, they still had to deal with the task of getting home, since it was a fair distance from the restaurant. Some of the group were tipsy, flushed from a little too much drinking, stumbling along the sidewalk trying to get into the cars meant for them.
Wisp did not drink, of course, as it was not customary for him to do so. Alcohol was a poison that addled the mind, preventing him from taking the correct course of action. It served to inhibit him from reaching his true potential and nothing else. Plus, it always hurt when he drank. His acquaintances were not quite as cautious when it came to drinking, smashed as hell.
Mei took another swig from a bottle half-empty, sporting a grin from ear to ear. She tugged on Acid’s sleeves, inviting her into the SUV.
“C’mon babe lets go home! We’re gonna have the best D&D session ever!”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m right behind you.”
Vola entered as well, but not before dumping all the prizes he won in the arcade in the back, including but not limited to plushies, party favors, and a lot of candy. There was so much that they had to get a cab to carry the others home, which was paid off by Dust. Snake shielded her eyes from the bright streetlights outside, and the glare of headlights from oncoming cars.
“God, I just wanna sleep for 12 hours straight. My head already hurts.”
Rico chucked an empty bottle at a homeless man trying to pickpocket him, the glass shattering on his skull and knocking him out cold.
“Here’s your ride, Snake. Move over a bit please.”
Dave was slumped over unconscious on the back of some shiny metal mannequin. Probably one of his machines. Instead of getting in a car like everyone else, it endeavoured to run all the way back to the hotel, which it definitely could based on the clip and pace at which it ran. Pedestrians shifted to the side in surprise, watching the chromium construct dash down the sidewalk, rapidly disappearing into the distance.
Unze joined Snake and Rico in the small cab, turning to Kyki.
“You coming? We can get another cab for you if you want.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll walk home. Spending time outside is always nice.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll see you later.”
“You take care of yourself. I didn’t know you could drink that much.”
“A real femboy always trains his alcohol tolerance.”
So Kyki left by themselves, taking particular joy in the journey instead of the destination. The cars departed swiftly, weaving their way through traffic and bikers enjoying the crisp evening atmosphere. Wisp watched the cars go by, squinting at the harsh artificial lighting of the city streets and listening to the hum of the engine and the sound of passerby as he drove home. He was almost okay with being the designated driver for a short while, until Mei had to retch right out the window.
“You okay, Mei?”
“Are you okay? How do you barf with a mask on?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much like a dumbass,” came Vola’s muffled voice, barely audible due to the mountain of toys he was buried under. Mei didn’t even bother to look at him.
“Suck my fat cock and balls, Vola. You drank twice as much as I did.”
“And I’m fine. Unlike you, I can hold my liquor.”
Mei mumbled something along the lines of “fuck you” before slumping down in her chair, nauseous and generally ill.
“Holy shit Wisp, keep the car still and stop driving like you’re drunk. Or I’m gonna throw up again.”
“Check the rearview mirror. We got trouble.”
At a moderate distance, a couple of black cars could be seen trailing behind, keeping up with the taxis as the traffic abated and the road cleared ahead. A sharply dressed robot, holding a megaphone, leaned out of the passenger seat of the front car.
“You’re not losing us that easily! Give us the Gremlin or face the consequences!”
Dime popped out of the glove box shamefully, earning Wisp’s ire.
“Mind explaining what’s going on here?”
“Sorry. They want my coins. I thought I lost them…”
“What am I supposed to do about it? I can’t fight for shit. No magical ultrakill ability or anything.”
Vola burst forth from his pile of plush toys, showering everyone in the car with soft elephants and shameful renditions of ancient wolves. Rolling down the window, he closed one eye and aimed a finger gun towards the metal head of the enemy bot.
“[Hex: Voiceless]!”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Immediately the robot shut up, unable to speak or even communicate with others through any sort of sound medium. A second robot picked up where the first left off.
“As of this moment, Automotive Industries will no longer be held liable for the injuries and damages caused by your refusal to cooperate! I hope you have a good mortician on hand!”
The cars fanned out, preluding a hailstorm of lead delivered expressly to Wisp’s SUV, as well as the taxi following him. Bystanders fled as glass shattered and some collapsed dead on the street, slain by the reckless gunfire. Wisp gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white.
“Bastards. I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”
Reaching into the glove box, he retrieved a standard six shooter, aiming out the window trying to hit any of his pursuers. The SUV’s skylight opened up, pushed open by Acid.
“I haven’t done this in a while… gotta get used to wearing those gauntlets.”
The SUV swerved, trying to lose the enemies down a side street, as Acid’s arms emitted ludicrous amounts of purple gas. It swept down the street in a wave, corroding the clothing the robots wore, as well as the robots themselves. Bullets dissolved in midair, the block obscured by the smog. The sheer quantity of gas meant Wisp ended up as collateral damage, coughing and hacking as the acidic air ate into his lungs and skin. An enemy sniper fired a blast into the smoke, zipping past Acid and blowing a hole into a water tower. She ducked back into the car, the visibility returning to normal.
“Oh god. Wisp you okay? I haven’t had to do that in so long I accidentally hit you a little—”
The car shook terribly as the sniper fired a second time, blasting through Wisp’s gun arm, tearing it from the shoulder. He jerked back into the car with a screech, barely able to keep driving. To everyone this was shocking enough, but the acid burns caused by the gas began to heal at a rapid pace. Soon his skin was unblemished, as if he had never been harmed at all. His hoarse lungs smoothed out, restored. Then his lost arm knitted itself back together, the blood and flesh weaving together like a grim gory abstract painting.
“Vola for FUCKS SAKE get them off my tail! What the hell are the others doing?!”
For once in his life he had nothing to say, speechless at the sight of a fatal wound healing in seconds. He didn’t even argue, gathering dark energies in one hand.
“[Curse: Weakness]!’
In an instant the gunfire became quieter, less pronounced in power and much less lethal. Dime waved his arms out the window, conjuring a rain of golden coins, sticking to the ground and the cars. The vehicles chasing the group were then affected by multiplied gravity, and lost ground, tires popping and windshields cracking under the strain.
“There we go. I think that’ll handle them!”
“Don’t jinx it Dime. I’ve had enough of your antics. Going to have a long talk about honesty when we get home,” Wisp grumbled, drifting around a corner Initial D style.
The robot currently holding the megaphone broadcasted a voice to all nearby speakers, looping the same message.
“Automotive Industries Task Force requesting reinforcements! I want the kid alive and in my hands in the next 200 seconds or you’re all fired!”
Humanoid constructs flooded the street behind them, running full speed towards the group. Pulse weaponry replaced bullets, melting metal and popping their tires.
“Shit! The car! Everyone, out! We’re almost at the hotel! Spread out!”
Everyone scattered in different directions, Acid carrying Mei and propelling both of them up onto the rooftops with a burst of air. Snake dropped a splash potion near her feet, letting it shatter into pieces with a sudden explosion of light and sound, dissipating to reveal Snake had simply disappeared. Rico blocked wayward shots with his arms, tanking the pulse shots in their entirety.
“Pretty damn hot, but not hot enough!”
Backing up into a wall, Rico sunk his hands into the stone and climbed up the apartment building and ran away, leaving the robots in the dust. Unze posed seductively, which did nothing, before hitting everyone nearby with a psychic wave, stunning them for long enough for him to turn tail and run. In the few moments of respite, Dime leapt forwards, sliding down the street on a platform of rolling coinage.
With no other targets, they chased Wisp, who could do nothing but flee down an alleyway. He could hear his own breath, his heartbeat, as he leapt over boxes and dashed around corners, spurred on by the omnipresent sound of metal feet on pavement. They were getting closer by the second.
Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit shit! What the hell do I do?
“STOP! WE’VE GOT YOU IN OUR SIGHTS! DON’T MOVE FROM THAT SPOT OR WE’LL VAPORIZE YOU!”
Wisp froze, hands up. He had never tried surviving a direct hit from a pulse blast, but he was not eager to try today. He cursed his luck, so unfortunate in design, wishing for some kind of deus ex machina to pull him out of this situation.
“You, sir, are going to be coming with us. Come quietly or die.”
He hesitated, reluctant to follow. There was no doubt in his mind: if he went with them, he might not ever see the light of day again.
“Surely we can… work something out, gentlemen—”
And then sirens! Everyone looked up at the rapidly darkening skies, accompanied by harsh air raid sirens reminiscent of the Cold War.
{WARNING! SENSORS INDICATE IMMINENT DUST STORM! PLEASE STAY INSIDE AND LOCK ALL YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS AND DO NOT STEP OUTSIDE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE FROM THE CITY COUNCIL! I REPEAT, SENSORS INDICATE IMMINENT DUST STORM!}
Wisp shared a brief faceoff with his captors as the siren continued to loop, pounding in his head and instilling in him a minor fear effect. It only took a moment of consideration for the robots to make a decision.
“We’re retreating! Pull back every man we’ve got! Back to the safehouse, NOW! You might’ve escaped us this time, but if you continue to shelter the Volan, you will fall under our influence eventually. Mark my words. We’ll be back soon to collect.”
As quick as they had come, they disappeared, rushing out of the alleys with measured, precise accuracy and speed, leaving a breathless Wisp to lean against the wall out of relief. That was much too close for comfort. Now he just had to get home, and quick. He wouldn’t be caught dead outside at a time like this…
{ALL PEDESTRIANS PLEASE TAKE SHELTER IN YOUR HOMES AT THIS TIME AND AWAIT INSTRUCTION FROM THE CITY COUNCIL! THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY—}
Kyki panted as they ran in the direction of the hotel at top speed. The dust storm wasn’t supposed to be due for at least another day! This was much too soon. All they could do now was get home quick, before the storm grasped the whole city in its palm. Shortcut after shortcut, between buildings and through lots, and still they were going to be cutting it close.
Their legs burned from the sudden exertion, unable to take even a moment's break, for fear of what was to come. All that mattered was putting one foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right. They were so close now. The hotel was in sight of the skyline, nary a minute away at the current pace. And in their joy they nearly failed to avoid a swipe to their legs, sidestepping barely in time.
“What the fuck? Who did that? Come out, you fucking bastard.”
Kyki swiftly brandished a pistol from their belt, aiming it at the dark spots in the alleyway. With the storm oncoming, visibility was low, providing ample space to hide for an assaulter.
“I didn’t think you’d be able to dodge. I’m sorry, Kyki. Please come quietly.”
That voice… it was warped, yet so familiar, thought Kyki, before firing at a corner just outside of their vision, narrowly missing the veiled assailant. Looking around, it was almost like they had just vanished. And then Kyki’s dangersense went off, and they tried to swerve on a heel and fire, but it was too late. The gun clattered to the ground, ownerless, in a dark alleyway, alone, as the storm swept in, filling the streets in its dark haze.
By now, everyone had reached the hotel, except for Wisp. Snake paced worriedly, even as the storm threatened to reach the building.
“I’m gonna head out and look for him. He’s taking too long.”
Rico grabbed her wrist before she could walk through the double doors.
“Don’t. Protocol says we have to lockdown the place with everyone inside when the siren is activated. I can’t let you go out there, with the storm so close.”
“We can’t just leave him out there!”
Metal shutters slid down over the windows and glass front, obscuring the outside. As the dust wall approached at high speed in the distance and the gate began to close over the door, it was caught in one hand by Wisp, wheezing and on the verge of collapse. He stumbled inside, letting the gate fall down behind him, just as the storm slammed the windows and the glass in front of the building broke into pieces, causing a great rumbling as it crashed into the metal shutters in force. But they held on.
“Thank fuck. I almost got stuck out there.”
Everyone sat down on the couch, still filled with adrenaline from their brush with the capitalists. Wisp reached into his pocket, pulling out the slip of paper from the restaurant.
“My fortune didn’t predict this shit…”
Actually, looking at it closely, two door symbols had faded away, leaving only the door with no handle. A strange warning for the events to come. But it was fine, because he made it and everyone else did too. So for now, he fell asleep, right there on the couch.
And everything, for the moment, was fine.