Episode 5: Houdini

Thursday. Morning. June 25th.

Mason's butler touches up his costume while he's wearing it. The pitch black suit is lined with white outlines around every piece of it. The suit is made up of sports pants, a long-sleeved shirt, sneakers, and a white mask in the shape of a star, all with feathers thoughtfully placed here and there. Mason tries to stay still as he Levitates Naruto manga in front of himself.

Mason: *Hums in Eminem* You know what's especially weird about being reincarnated?

Ni: The fact that it happens at all?

Mason: No. It's whenever I see someone I used to know turned into a fictional character like this.

Ni: You knew sir Naruto, master Mason?

Mason: Hai, onen. Totemo tokkuni.

Ni: I could never get into all that. The magic simply never made sense to me.

Mason: They don't know how it really was. Big beams from nothing, nuking whole cities just with ninjutsu, titanic animal spirits that could all end the world on a whim.

Ni: You didn't have any of that?

Mason: No, we did. Just not anything like that. These writers don't get that there's a cost to using magic and that you can't just keep using more and more of it because you're emotional.

Ni: Hontou desu ka? I do wonder where this “Chakra” comes from if it isn't infinite.

Mason: Simple. It's energy. Take too much in and you either overheat or explode. Thing is, expel too much and you freeze to death too.

Ni: Fascinatingly horrific, sir. Have any more of your companions turned fictional?

Mason: Yes. Shinji, Rei, Sonic-

Ni: Not Asuka, sir?

Mason: Never really liked her.

Ni: I thought you had a thing for redheads.

Mason: It's not the hair, it's the passion.

Ni: You knew Sonic the Hedgehog?

Mason: Not this corporate mascot version, but yes. One of my less proud stories. The things you have to do for peace between the races.

Ni: Do tell all of the embarrassing details, sir.

JoDio walks in.

JoDio: They're going shopping now!

Mason: Then, you're outta luck, Ichi Ni san.

The butler finishes up.

Ni: Where are you going now?

Mason: Gotta get my reputation as Star-man up. Gonna start with helping Nasa and Tsukasa in buying their furniture, then probably some low level crime stopping.

Ni: Sounds terribly interesting, sir.

Mason: Have to start somewhere.

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

Later in the night, Mason stands atop a small building as he stalks Nasa and Tsukasa on a date. Um. You Do know that this story is fictional too, don't you?

Mason: Of course I do. But, as long as it stays real for them, I'll keep fighting for it.

For the viewers, or someone else?

Mason: Don't you have a line to read?

Right! Suddenly, Tsukasa is thrown into a car by a strange man and Nasa is powerless to stop him as he drives away. Then, Mason spreads his magic wings and flies after them.

Mason: I've Got You!

He lands atop the car and uses gravity magic to lift it an inch off the ground, stopping it there. He then pulls Tsukasa out of the car and the strange man gets out and punches him. Mason retaliates by hitting the man's pressure points, disabling his limbs faster than he can react. While holding him by the tie, Mason holds the man in front of a portal above mount Fuji.

Mason: You know that mountain? Now, who are you and what do you want?

Yama: I-I'm just a bounty hunter! Yamada! I was sent to bring her home.

Mason: You can tell them she already Is home.

He opens a portal to Osaka and pushes the man through it before closing it. Nasa then runs up to them and she clings onto him.

Nasa: I don't know how to thank you enough for all this.

Mason: Don't worry about it. I've got other people to save.

She turns to Mason.

Tsu: Let us have you over. I've heard that I'm a pretty good cook.

Mason: … I'll have to see about- (KILL KILL KILL!!! Who's voice is that?!)

Mason's hand tries to reach for his gun while the rest of him tries to resist moving at all.

Mason: (Who's doing this?! Who Could do this?)

Just then, a man leaps down from somewhere up above and stabs through Tsukasa before slicing her head off.

Nasa: AAAAAHH!!!

With her blood on him, Mason looks up at the seven foot tall man, seeing that it's-

Mason: Sephiroth?!

The man touches Mason's face, bringing their stares together, but, like, not in a gay way.

Viewer: Why would you say that?

I just thought you'd take it in a gay way.

Viewer: No, I wasn't thinking like that at all... Okay, maybe Sephiroth's gay.

Super gay!

Viewer: Wait, what do you mean by “Super gay?” Do you mean it in a bad way?

What do you… Anyway!

Sephiroth: Surely, you must be an Ancient as well. I can see it in your eyes. Join me and I can make you as eternal as the stars. Turn away and you'll just be another rodent on the face of my planet.

Mason uses gravity magic to hold Sephiroth in place as he re-concentrates the energy from his wings into a spinning ball that looks like it's made of light.

Mason: Told you I wouldn't forget it, Naruto.

Sephiroth: This insolence will be repayed in kind. Now, release me!

Mason: Release This! Rasengan!

Mason shoves the orb through Sephiroth's chest and it leaves a hole in the shape of a spiral. The man just smiles.

Sephiroth: I see how it is. 'Til we meet again.

The man fades away into thin air as Nasa weeps over Tsukasa.

Mason: (What's going on? Why's Sephiroth here? He was never real, at least not in This universe)

Just then, several rifts in space appear all around them and other villains start stepping through them.

Mason: What the... (Metal Gear Rex, Ganondorf, Dio Brando? Now that I think about it, this reminds me of that Stand, Bohemian Rhapsody, but where's the Link user?... Wait! Those rifts. I've seen those before. Where...) Mephistopheles.

An echoing laugh comes from all sides right before time freezes for everything except Mason and Nasa. From behind a rift, a red and purple demonic man in a blue jester's outfit walks out in front of the two.

Mason: This Jevil-looking mother-humper again.

Mephisto: Your detective's skills are as sharp as ever, even after two dozen centuries of lives.

Mason: What do you want with me? I never even fought you last time!

Mephisto: Indeed. Nor have we ever met. As you must remember, that was a different Mephistopheles. One who so foolishly allowed himself to be defeated before achieving his goals.

Mason: So, you haven't gone senile? You want the same thing he did?

Mephisto: Yes, yes. Complete collapse of the timeline. However, I'm ever so slightly more curious to see just how far you can get before I win. I've brought together all of the greatest villains of the multiverse just for you. I do hope you enjoy this gift!

Mephistopheles puts his hand forth and time starts back up as the echoed laugh continues. Mason's eyes widen as he looks at Nasa. Before anyone can get to them, Mason grabs Nasa and runs through a portal.

Mephisto: How disappointing. Do find them, fiends!

Mephistopheles walks through a dark rift as reality warps around it.