I was able to make it home without getting stabbed once more, soon finding myself in the environment of my own flat again. Compared to Jules’ though it really was quite bare. It hadn’t bothered me before, but now it kinda did.

Given that I had a morning to kill anyway, though, I decided to go and do something about it. I wasn’t really rich at all, but I had enough spending money for some decorations. Especially given that my body over on this side was usually in great condition, with the keepers safeguarding it and all that.

Meaning that instead of saving for a dentist’s appointment, I could instead throw that money at things I enjoyed.

I paused for a second before making any excessively impulsive purchases, deciding that I would, in fact, also get Butterfly a little something. And I had a nice idea, too.

Recently, a couple shops had been doing metal posters. It was wired through general drone delivery, which had replaced almost all postal services, Meaning that if I ordered now, I could probably expect things to be here within the day. One of the advantages to living in a city.

I decided to order a poster of a blue and purple magical butterfly for Beth. Then, for my own flat, I got some other nice looking posters. One of a nebula, a picture snapped by the telescopes in space, far above the smog that covered the sky. Another one I bought was of a game I enjoyed, and then I also bought a very large lesbian flag.

Would they mostly collect dust? Yes. I knew that. But at the same time, this was my home. I wanted it to be nice to live in.

With how little time I usually spent in the apartment it was sometimes hard to notice just how… bleak it was. Sure, it was clean, but there was just nothing about.

Why had I not decorated it a little more?

The realisation set in. Right. My mom came in occasionally and swept the place. More stuff would mean more things for her to look into my privacy. See the things I enjoyed and who I was. I’d stopped sharing them so long ago, when she told me to read real stories, or do real art.

Thinking of that put a frown on my face. She already took issue with how I dressed and what I did, and even my work in Eden. Maybe at some point I just needed to let her realize I wouldn’t ever be who she wanted me to be. If that pissed her off, it was her problem.

I promptly went back to my phone, ordering even more things. Books I’d only read online, now in print form. I’d find a shelf for them. I bought posters of movies and games, I bought myself a penguin wall tattoo, and I bought myself a penguin and dragon plushie respectively too. Then I added calligraphy supplies, too. Maybe I’d find some time and draw up something my master would enjoy.

The final and most expensive purchase I made was something I would have probably considered too much afterwards, but decided was worth it in the moment. I got myself a spear. A full sized one, though with the tip dulled. It was decently similar to what I had in Eden, if a bit more fancily made and probably much weaker, given that it hadn’t received any Qi treatment.

Would I be swinging it around? No, absolutely not. But quite frankly, I didn’t need it for that. Who I was on Eden was part of me. And I was sick of always having to hide it. Sure, talking about it as a job was fine, but the fact that I showed none of it? Enough was enough.

I ordered. Spent a good half of the money I’d made on this last trip to Eden all at once. And honestly, I didn’t care. After it all I fell back on my bed. I pulled over my phone, and ordered one more thing, a simple pullup bar to hang on my wall, as well as an install kit.

Then I called my dad.

It rang twice before he picked up.

“Bear? I’m so glad you’re back! How has work been, are you alright? Do you need anything?” His rough voice was crackly over the phone, that distinctly low quality that only mobile calls could emulate.

A second passed as I didn't answer, then ten. “Bear?” he asked again, hesitatingly.

I… realized I hadn’t expected him to pick up. He never picked up on my first call. Usually I needed to wait an hour before he called back.

“You there, Bear? Everything okay?” he asked again, confusion seeping into his voice.

“Right, yeah, I’m here. Sorry, dad. I’m… fine. All okay.”

“That’s good to hear!” he said. There was so much joy there I could tell he was smiling on the other end. “What had you call? You usually always text, haha.”

I did usually text. Because he never picked up calls. “Well, I wanted to ask whether you had some time today in the evening? I’m having a friend over, but I also ordered a bunch of stuff, and might need help setting things up.”

“Alright, yeah, no problem. I can be there by six, if that’s fine?”

“Six is perfect, thanks dad.”

“No problem, Bear! What’re we setting up? You got a new shelf or something?” he asked.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Uhm, not quite…” I heard myself and almost cringed. I sounded so horribly awkward. “I, uh, bought a couple posters. And a pullup bar. And a… spear.”

I heard him choke on his drink, cough, then laugh out loud. “You bought a spear?” he asked, amused.

“Sure did.”

“And you want me to help you put it up on your wall or something?”

I sighed. “That’s the hope.”

“Sure, no problem,” he said. “I’ll go to the hardware store, pick up a couple brackets and such. Should still have my rechargeable screwdriver lying around somewhere. I’ll bring screws, too, of course. Anything else we need?”

“A couple nails, maybe?” I suggested.

“Screws usually hold better to be fair,” he said.

“Yes, but I also kinda bought a flag and I think the screws would twist the fabric.”

“Heh, right, they sure would. Nails, then. What kinda flag? Irinye United?” he asked, jokingly.

I rolled my eyes. “A lesbian one, dad. I’m not getting a soccer flag.”

“Awwwe, come on, why not?” he asked.

“I’m hanging up.”

“Haha, alright Bear. I’ll see you at six. You can tell me all about work then, alright?”

“Sure, dad. Thanks.”

“Talk to you later!”

After his last words, I hung up, dropping back down on the bed and draping an arm over my face. That was… horribly embarrassing. Why the heck was he in such a good mood, even? I’d have to ask him at night.

My order told me that my items would arrive in a couple hours, between three and five. Some might come a bit later, but that would be fine, too. For now, I decided to use the small amount of time I had to put on a new set of clothes, somewhere between presentable and comfortable, and prepare for Matt to come visit.

I shot him a text again, asking when exactly he’d be arriving. There was a chance he’d come tomorrow, given that the meeting was then, but he could also come today, and if he did, I should probably have more things stocked. I had, like, nothing, actually. Borderline no food at all.

Which resulted in a quick trip to the grocery store, where I bought vegetables, snacks, and some drinks. I very distinctively got no beer. If my dad wanted to be drinking it would not be in my flat. Hopefully he was on the same page there.

After the shopping trip, I went over all my messages, talking to my mom, and Beth, and the group with everyone from Eden. Matt told me he was coming today, and would love it if I could pick him up from the train station at half past four. It was about fifteen minutes by car, so that worked out really well.

It was already approaching the afternoon by then, so I decided to just take a break for an hour. I considered reading, but none of the stories in all my open tabs grabbed my interest. I didn’t feel like mindlessly scrolling through videos either, so instead, I just put my phone aside.

I closed my eyes, laying on my bed with my arms folded across my stomach. Today was an eventful day, but honestly, that was kind of because I made it one. Did I need to order a buncha stuff and call my dad? Not really.

If I hadn’t, meeting my family could’ve been dragged out another day or two. Then again, I really did want to see Butterfly, and having a gift for her would be nice. Would mom mind that it was art other than hers hung up in her house?

I shook my head at the thought. If she did mind, then she could start learning to ignore that. Beth was getting a gift, whether she liked it or not. And if Beth hated it, then I'd take it down. If mom hated it, I’d make sure it stayed up, simple as that.

A sigh left my lips as I tried to calm my thoughts. Life had been moving so fast recently. I was only back for three days and I already missed eden. The fact that I could spend weeks simply walking and cultivating was relaxing in a way I couldn’t quite put to words. Like there just wasn’t anything else for me to worry about.

Granted, there were monsters trying to kill me, but there was also the sun in the sky, and the wind on my face. I sighed again, thinking of that, and feeling at the tiny facsimile of a core I had on this side.

My body on Eden influenced my body here. I knew that much. I was much, much stronger now than I was back when I first went there. If I compared myself to standards before Eden, I was probably quite close to the peak of the world in a lot of sports.

But there was Qi in my chest. It was a faint amount, one that wouldn’t really refill on its own, but it was there. Available for me to use. A miniscule tether to my core back on Eden, that told me that it was all real. That I, Fio, could walk on the air, and take down monsters the size of houses.

Why was it here, though?

I focused on it, feeling at the ball of gold. It truly did seem kind of like my golden core, but it was faint, and more of an orb of loose Qi, rather than a storage container pumping the ethereal substance throughout my entire body. Still, it gave me comfort knowing it was there.

A distinct confidence in myself that I was, to some degree, growing myself. Cultivating. That word had seemed so foreign at first. I wasn’t a plant to grow, after all. But by now it had clicked.

It wasn’t about growing plants. It wasn’t about finding power. It wasn’t about stepping on others.

Cultivating was, in its essence, a path to find yourself.

There were established paths to follow. Common elemental ones, such as the “path of the inner flame”, or “a frozen sea within”. Dozens of people had walked those paths, they were well tread and known. But to me, that wasn’t the true purpose of cultivation.

How could you find yourself if you walked in the footsteps of another?

My path was a voyage. A long, difficult, and beautiful voyage.

My path was an imprint. A symbol of who I was within the changing tides.

And I grabbed onto those paths, drew a deep breath, and imagined myself taking a single step further.

The Qi in my body sputtered, whirled, and then fizzled out into a quiet nothingness. There was a moment of silence, then a piercing pain in my chest. My eyes were ripped open and I clutched at my heart, feeling like it was being squeezed by some giant hand.

For a few seconds I couldn’t breathe, then I squeezed my eyes shut and focused my will on every muscle in my body. I tensed up, then slowly forced myself to relax, drawing a single, stifled, quivering breath. Then my heart beat once.

The tension fell away and I was left with an ache and a grimace.

I’d been close to something there, to a piece of enlightenment again. But I hadn’t reached it.

That was often how it went. You’d find a trail of thought, follow it, then fail at the last step.

I breathed out a sigh, feeling the pain in my chest slowly recede as the golden Qi settled into a calm ball again. This was worthwhile. I’d gained plenty of insights, enough to push myself further once I returned to Eden.

With a sigh, I leaned even further into my bed. Maybe next time I’d reach that bit of enlightenment. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from swirling around the idea of cultivation until my alarm rang. Right. Time to go get Matt.