When the core of the nest was enveloped by the glass that usually hid under my skin, I felt a lot of things at once. First, I could tell I killed something. A faint, strange presence, wrapped around the mirror shard.
It felt disgusting to each and every one of my senses. A spot of corruption that would try to assimilate anything, leaving no room for things not created by it. A monster, through and through, with only the drive to devour.
I killed it, snuffed out the life of the fledgling usurper before it had a chance to fend me off again.
Then, behind that veil of corruption, I felt something that was hurt. It was a small piece of a mirror, maybe as big as the palm of my hand if at all. I could feel that it wanted to become part of a greater whole, and let it be part of the gateway within me. Somehow, then, it slotted into a place that needed it, when I hadn’t even known it was there.
When that piece slotted in a new layer was added to my awareness that hadn’t been there before. I felt the gateway inside me, not as a layer of shifting glass, but in its true shape. A mirror full of cracks and missing pieces.
Some of those bits had begun mending, the cracks lessening. But there was so much missing, big chunks that had been eroded by time. Some of the bits that were slotted in had even gone dull, not even being properly reflective anymore. It truly was broken apart.
I could also now tell that it and my mirror core were living somewhat symbiotically, exchanging Qi back and forth. The gateway generated the Qi, putting it into my core, and it would flow from the core into the gateway, slowly repairing the cracks.
Then, the missing piece slotted in, the surroundings shifting for a moment to accommodate it, before they fused to it. The feeling was… hard to describe, it felt like finding a lost piece of myself. I supposed the gateway truly was part of me now.
A short sigh left my lips. The nest was falling apart around me, but my insides still stirred. The glass that had devoured the core slowly sunk back underneath my skin. My stomach twisted and I fell to my knees, suddenly overcome with nausea.
[Gateway integrity raised from fifteen to twenty percent.]
I smiled at Cass’ voice, despite the feeling of my insides being rearranged. Slowly, I brought myself back to a standing position, watching the amalgamation of materials begin to decay around me, being assimilated into the surrounding Qi. I began stumbling back to where I left the other members of the party.
Now that the adrenaline was running out, all my little aches had time to properly set in. My hands were bloody and open from gripping my spear too hard. My legs, shoulders, and back all ached as though I’d put them through a grinder, the muscles completely worn out by all the running and fighting I’d done.
There were dozens of new cuts across my body, the old ones having been healed by the overload of Divinity.
The moment I thought of it, that radiant spark in my chest ran out, sapping me of even more energy and I stumbled, landing myself in a pile of decaying moss. Slowly, painfully, I pushed myself back up, leaning on my spear. I almost smirked. Slowly, I trudged through a cave again, every muscle on my body hurting as I used my weapon as a crutch. Surely this wouldn’t become a theme?
Eventually, after what felt like an eternity but was probably just a few minutes, I stumbled upon a small lake of blood. Emilia was lying on the floor, breathing heavily, with a big, shit-eating grin on her face. Her eyes were closed even as I stepped closer.
“You fucking did it,” she said, not even bothering to lift her eyelids.
“Of course I did. Was there ever any doubt?” I asked, grinning right back, despite the aches the movement caused.
“Not even a bit, princess.”
“Bah,” I laughed, then kicked her in the side. “Up, up, sleeping beauty.”
“Urgh, just 5 more minutes?” she spun around. “Owww, my fecking sides.”
“You’re getting your armor all bloody!” I laughed at her antics again.
“Not like any spot of it is clean by now. Means I did my job well,” she replied with a wink.
“Fair’s fair. Now come on, get up.” I offered Emilia a hand and she grabbed it, almost pulling me down with her as she jumped up, the plates rattling.
“God I’m excited to take this damn suit of metal off. You know how many dents are in there? Uncomfortable as all anything,” she told me as we walked back. There was a steady trickle of blood behind as from fresh wounds, but we chatted merrily anyway. I helped Emilia stand straight.
If she were a normal human she should well have passed out from the blood loss by now. Luckily, she wasn’t that flimsy.
We bantered along the way, mainly complimenting each other’s work.
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By the time we made it back to the others, most of our wounds had begun clotting. My insides finally felt like they were done moving about, the new piece of the gateway having settled in properly, and the glass shifting to help keep me standing once more. The first thing I heard was Matt’s snoring, which was quickly replaced by a yelp when Emilia dropped onto the floor like a sack of potatoes.
The loud clang of her metal armor awoke our flowery swordsman, and he faked a frown. “You know I need my beauty sleep,” he said, as though it was the most serious topic in the world, receiving a snicker from me.
“You’re a beautiful rodent already, Rat,” Marie teased with a small smirk, eliciting a snort from Matt, then turned to Emilia and me. “Good work. Glad you guys made it back safe.”
I nodded at her, then plopped down next to Ann. I let my eyes drift over everyone. They all looked about as tired as I felt, well, except Liam, who had a more guilty expression on his face. There was a brief silence in the air, interrupted only by the fizzling of the nest as it dissolved into Qi.
The young rogue almost went to meet my eyes, but seemed to almost dodge out of the way at the last second every time. Running out of Qi without warning anyone sure was a bit of a blunder, but nothing to be this embarrassed about. I sighed, then smacked him on the back of the head.
“Cheer up already,” I scolded him. “We made it out fine. From a nest, even, Liam. This is enough to start making it properly big here in Eden!” I gestured wide with my arms, indicating the decaying mess of blood and ichor that surrounded us. “Look at all the things we can have! All these… chopped up arms and things.”
It elicited a short snort from him, before he looked down again a bit.
“I agree with Fio here,” Eric added, clapping the younger man on the shoulder. “You protected us at your own expense, and we appreciate that.” His words were reinforced by a nod from Reya. “Of course you should tell us next time, but it went fine. No need to beat yourself up about it.”
He clapped his shoulder once more, before another short bit of silence set in. After a few, long breaths we all needed to recharge, Marie slapped her thighs and got up. “Alright! Let’s get moving before those brix remember we’re here.”
That elicited a small grimace from all of us, and with a few more groans that weren’t technically necessary, we’d made it off the floor and were marching again. There was a thin haze of energy around the group as we fended off the general outside energy of the wilderness again.
Once we finally made it out from the remains of the nest, the cavern was stunningly empty. Apparently, all the brix had fled once their creator was dead. Probably hiding away in corners or crevices. Made me almost feel bad for killing so many, but not quite. They weren’t exactly hesitant about messing me up either.
The walk out of the cave was gruelling, but not as hard as the one towards the nest was. Despite all the aches, our energy stores were slowly replenishing along the way, and we weren’t attacked anymore, so each step felt lighter than the last.
We chatted a little along the way, just regular banter, but none of us really put too much thought into it, more overcome with the happiness of having survived, as well as the exhaustion that usually came with such an outing.
When we made it back out, the sun was already low in the sky, evening having crept up on us during the expedition. We quickly went about setting up camp, eating rations rather than cooking a new meal. Marie and Ann set up the barrier together this time, supplied by ambient energy, while everyone else went mostly about cleaning their gear.
Monster blood tended to be mildly corrosive, so it was important to clean it off. There were a few ways of doing it, using Qi or the inventory and all that, but they still took some amount of time, so it was enough to keep everyone occupied until watches were chosen.
This time we didn’t do any gambling on it. Liam got put on for first watch, so he would be miserable a bit longer, but hopefully wake up fully rested. Before I went to sleep, I sat down next to him to talk a bit more. He’d looked more glum than anyone else as we walked out from the cave.
“You okay there?” I asked.
He nodded, then stopped for a moment, and shook his head.
“What’s on your mind?” I considered putting a hand on his back to be encouraging, but decided against it after a moment. I was unsure how comfortable he would’ve been with it.
“It’s alright,” I heard his voice in my ear. “I just feel a bit useless. Like I’m holding you all back.”
For a moment, I was the stunned one. “You’re worried about that?” I asked incredulously.
“Mhm,” he nodded again, slumping his shoulders even more. I bit my lips a bit, not quite knowing what to say.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Liam.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, I mean, let me be very clear with you. You did great today. The problem isn’t that you ran out, it’s that you didn’t tell us ahead of time. You didn’t run out because you were unproductive, you need to do something with all that Qi for it to matter, no?”
I smiled a bit as he hesitantly nodded.
“Exactly. You cleared the entire way for us, then fought in a huge battle after having already been low on Qi, guarding me from the shadows, and then fending off attacks for our backline. I mean it very seriously when I say that you did really well.”
Again, all he gave me was a morose nod. “Sure,” he sounded to me. I frowned a bit.
“Don’t you ‘sure’ me,” I said, elbowing him lightly in the ribs. “You did good, kid.”
“I’m not a kid, Fio. If you had been in my situation, you would’ve done better,” he grimaced, squeezing his fist.
I was tempted to smack him on the hand, but decided not to. “Look,” I said. “I get that you’re upset. We all make mistakes. But you can’t let that eat you up inside. It’s fine. No one’s mad at you except yourself.” I laid a hand on his shoulder. “Take it as it is. You did a lot of things that helped. Eventually you ran out of steam. You can work towards improvement without letting it get to you.”
He blinked at that a few times. “I just don’t wanna drag anyone down,” he murmured.
“You aren’t. And you won’t. Have some trust in yourself.”
I saw his eyes glint from another tiny smile. “I’ll try.”
“Alright!” I said, clapping him on the back. “I’ll leave you to it then. Be patient with yourself. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, talk to you tomorrow,” he nodded.
Then, I headed off to sleep with Ann. Before I reached the tent, I still saw Reya approaching Liam, sitting down next to him quietly. I smiled a little. Hopefully the company would do him good.
Then I slipped past the tent flaps, got myself into bed, and drifted off to somewhere between sleep and meditation.
I began to dream of mirrors.