“Pete,” Aqua looked through the hatch and into the living room below her. “That is my father…and you fell on him…great…”

“Hello, Aqua’s Dad.” Pete tried to act cool. Even so, he knew there was no acting cool toward someone after falling on them while wearing only a swimsuit. Even though it wasn’t the worst first impression he left on someone – that other time was much worse. It was a struggle not to let the embarrassment show. “I’m Pete.”

“He’s the one that can defeat Charybdis.” She explained.

With slow caution, her father returned to an upright position. He looked down at the footprint which Pete had left on his white dress shirt. Then he scanned his eyes to where Pete remained sprawled on the floor. “Hello, Pete.” He paused, inhaling a deep breath. “I don’t mean to be rude, but considering the circumstances, what I’m about to ask you is a fair question.”

“Ask away,” Pete stood up, using the living room floor like floor on land. Aside from the weightlessness, he almost felt like he was back on land.

“What makes you think you can conquer Charybdis when you can’t even defeat the front door?”

“To be fair,” he began. “Aqua is the one that thinks I can defeat Charybdis. I don’t even know what a Charybdis is. But if she thinks I can help, I will try.” He held his hand out again. “Like I said before, my name is Pete…Pete the pizzaman.”

Her father offered Pete a hard stare, his eyes looking straight into Pete’s. Then her father’s expression softened, and he offered his hand to Pete. “My name is Kai.”

As they shook hands, Pete said. “Nice to meet you, Kai.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Pete,” Kai told him. “You seem like a nice enough person. Even so, I don’t see you being able to defeat Charybdis. He’s a water-based monster. Your swimming skill is…” he paused to consider how to phrase it. “Subpar.”

“It is at even par,” Pete told him.

“How do you figure?”

“It is at zero. Isn’t that par?” Pete asked. “Wait…do merpeople have golf? How do you golf underwater?”

“Of course, we have golf.” Kai’s stern expression returned. “You do realize that every skill starts at zero. It isn’t possible to be lower than that.”

“Yes, it is.” Pete hung his head. “I have a negative tree-climbing skill.”

“A negative skill?” Kai asked.

“Yup,” Pete confirmed.

“You realize that doesn’t help your case as the potential slayer of Charybdis?” Kai raised an eyebrow.

“Yup,” Pete repeated before asking. “How does underwater golf work?”

“Dad,” Aqua returned to the conversation. “Worst case, we teach him how to swim. You need to see this guy slap stuff before you judge him.”

“Right,” Pete agreed, lifting his head and locking eyes with Kai. “Watch me slap stuff. I can slap with enough force to put Gallagher’s sledgehammer to shame.”

“What’s a Gallagher’s sledgehammer?” Aqua asked.

“He’s the guy that splatters the watermelons,” Pete explained, turning his head to look at Aqua.

“What’s a watermelon?” Kai and Aqua asked in unison.

“It’s a…” Pete let his head hang again. “…Nevermind…it’s not important. The point is I can slap better than the best slappers… Wait, do they have slapping competitions here?”

Aqua ignored the question, speaking instead to her father. “Dad, if we teach him to swim. He can defeat Charybdis. He is super strong.”

“How do you propose we get his swimming skill high enough to be useful?” Kai asked.

“I take him dancing.” She replied.

“Dancing?” Pete said, remembering all the jr. high school dances he’d been to. During each, he held up the wall. Someone had to stand against it to make sure it didn’t fall. By high school, he’d resigned himself to not finding dance partners. As such, he’d refrained from attending high school dances. In short, Pete didn’t dance. “I don’t dance.”

“That’s too bad,” she told him. “Because you have to go to the club with me, and you have to dance…and party.”

“Party? Mermaids have parties?” He asked.

“Of course they do.” She swam closer to him, saying. “Everyone knows merpeople love to party.”

Pete realized he wasn’t included in the collective everyone because he did not know merpeople love to party. “How does partying teach me how to swim?”

“Before we waste time teaching a human how to swim,” Kai said. “We should take Pete to the king. If the king tests Pete, and Pete passes, we can worry about teaching him how to swim.”

“That makes sense,” Aqua said, and without hesitation, she grabbed Pete’s arm with both of hers and began up toward the hatch.

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“Cool,” Pete said as she dragged him through the water, her dad following behind. “We’re doing this again.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Aqua told him. “No whining allowed.”

Pete tried to think of a witty retort, something about how he wasn’t whiney, but nothing came to mind. Instead, he remained silent for the rest of the way to the palace.

When they arrived, Aqua descended at the front gate of the palace. Pete had not realized it before, but a dome rested atop the palace wall, protecting the castle on all sides. The only entrances became small archways protected by guards.

Aqua released Pete’s arm when he was about three paces above the seabed. He landed on his feet, and it pushed up silt.

A confused pair of guards stared at Pete, then at Aqua, then at Kai as he swam down to join them. Then the guards looked at each other and then back to Aqua. After an awkward silence, one looked at Aqua and spoke. “I’m sorry…I’m not sure I understand.”

The other said. “Did you capture this human? You know you aren’t allowed to take the humans as prisoners; those are the king’s rules.”

“This is Pete.” She explained. “He’s powerful. He slaps hard. He can use a sword.” She looked at him. “You can use a sword, right?”

He shook his head no.

“He can’t use a sword.” She continued, picking up speed with each word. “But he can slap, and he’s strong, and…” She paused, looking at him. “…can you do other things? Or do you only slap?”

“I can make small fireballs with my hands. Watch.” He tried to cast a fire spell, but the water snuffed it out before it was even a spark. He looked back at Aqua. “Nope, I can only slap stuff.”

“You must be an amazing slapper.” One of the guards spoke with a dry tone.

“Can you slap something for us, now?” The other guard asked.

“Like what?” Pete asked.

“I don’t know.” The guard answered. “You’re the slapping expert. If you come here claiming you know how to slap things, you should bring things to slap.”

“In fairness,” Pete said. “I wasn’t planning on being here today. If I knew, I would have prepared…brought a small boulder or something…wait…do you have any small boulders that you don’t need? I could slap one of those.”

“Sorry, we’re fresh out of boulders.” The guard said.

“Do you have any watermelons?” Pete asked.

“What’s a watermelon?” The guard asked.

“You guys are missing out by not having watermelons,” Pete said. “They are delicious.”

“We’re getting off track,” Aqua said. “Is there any chance we can…”

“Merpeople have tracks?” Pete interrupted? “You have underwater trains that run on tracks? But you don’t have watermelon? You should consider a shift in priorities. More delicious fruit. Less non-sensical transportation.”

The guard looked at Aqua. “Is he always like this?”

“I’m not sure,” Aqua said. “I met him today. It appears he’s using humor to deal with a stressful situation. It’s a psychological defense mechanism.”

Pete wasn’t sure what a psychological defense mechanism was. He was okay with that. At least he knew about watermelons.

Kai spoke next. “Do you think we could take him to the king? The king should have some type of test for him. Right?”

The guards nodded. It wasn’t that they knew about a test. Nor was there a protocol in place for the situation. But letting the king decide made sense. After nodding, they moved to each side of the entrance, and a glass within the archway slid open. The guard on the right swam through the opening.

“This way, please.” The guard on the left said, holding an open hand. Then he looked at Aqua and Kai. “Both of you will need to wait here.”

Kai and Aqua agreed to wait at the gate, and Pete did his best to swim, following behind the first guard.

The guards, Kai, and Aqua did their best not to laugh at Pete.

Pete did his best not to feel embarrassed.

While he struggled to swim, Pete took in the strange beauty of the castle. “Are all the walls made of Jade?” He asked the guard.

“Or marble,” The guard said. “For the most part, the floors are marble. There are some gold inlays, too.”

“That is so cool,” Pete said, looking at a few castle spires. They appeared to be like the pillar-houses that the other merpeople lived in. Like the other homes, these pillars ranged in height from three stories to ten stories. At the castle’s center, a large pillar rose twenty feet. The difference between the castle pillars and the other pillars was how a wide base—more traditional of land buildings—connected the pillars.

When Pete followed the guard into that base structure, he recognized how the base created corridors and expansive rooms. Each gallery reflected light in a different direction. It was like swimming through a building made from a rainbow. “This place is like a cartoon,” Pete said.

The guard nodded his agreement. “It is. Isn’t it?”

A few corridors later, Pete followed the guard into a room the size of a football field. It was as tall as it was wide. Overhead, rays of colored light beamed through circular windows. A red carpet—no, it wasn’t carpet; it was some type of moss—created a rectangular pathway to two golden thrones at the far end of the room. Mermaid guards lined the moss carpet on each side.

In one of the thrones sat a man with a dark beard and piercing green eyes. His muscles were larger than Pete realized muscles could be. Even his tail was ripped. He wore shiny golden armor with a sword on his hip. The sword’s hilt was jade, shaped like an octopus, with its arms wrapping around to form a grip.

The other throne remained empty.

As Pete and the guards swam into the room, the man on the throne stood and asked. “Is that a human in my throne room?” His voice boomed and echoed. Pete wasn’t sure if it was the king’s voice that was so powerful or the acoustics of the room. Pete decided it was a combination of both.

The guards moved to each side of Pete and signaled Pete to stop swimming. Pete stopped, allowing himself to stand on the red carpet moss stuff. It felt soft under his bare feet. The fact that he wasn’t wearing shoes reminded him how he wasn’t wearing a shirt, either. Great, he thought to himself. I met a cute mermaid’s dad in my swimsuit. Now, I get to meet a king in my swimsuit. At this point, I should plan on going to my college graduation in a swimsuit, too.

“This is a human.” One of the guards said.

“And he is in your throne room.” The other added.

“I thought my rules were clear.” The king hung his head. “No kidnapping or imprisoning humans.”

“This is no prisoner.” One guard said.

“He’s a champion.” The other said.

“He’s here to slap Charybdis.” They both said in unison.

“Right,” Pete agreed. “I am here to slap Charybdis.”

“Slap?” The king raised an eyebrow. “Charybdis?”

“Problem is,” one of the guards said. “We aren’t sure if he knows how to slap. We need to test him.”

“If you didn’t kidnap him?” The king scanned his eyes back and forth between his guards. “How did he get here?”

“That’s a good question.” One guard said.

“Aqua didn’t tell us.” The other said.

“Aqua?” The king sighed, fixing his eyes on Pete. “Did Aqua kidnap you?”

“No,” Pete fibbed, not wanting to get Aqua in trouble. She was the nicest mermaid he’d ever met. Then he realized she was the only mermaid he’d ever met. Still, he needed to protect her. “We’re friends. I wanted to help.”

“And she thinks you can help?” The king asked.

“She does.”

“And you’re good at slapping things?” The king asked.

“That’s right,” Pete confirmed.

“Okay,” the king agreed, relaxing back into his throne. “Follow the guards to the Call’isuem. Let’s test your slapping prowess.”

Pete didn’t know what prowess meant. He guessed it meant something like his ability or skill. At least he knew what a watermelon was.