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They Think I Invented Pizza
I Think I'll Call You Pepperoni

I Think I'll Call You Pepperoni

Pete pulled his shoes on one at a time before pushing open his bedroom door and jogging through the bakery. A few paces past the tin door that went outside, he found Mod and Angel. He stopped next to them, observing the scared expressions on their faces.

The other citizens of the town shared Mod and Angel’s fear. Most of those citizens stood by the open doors of their businesses and houses. They all looked in the direction of the town square. Pete cast his gaze in that direction, and his heart dropped.

It was the same giant turkey that had attacked him in the mountain forest. In a fit of rage, it knocked over carriages with its clawed feet. And it uprooted trees with its sharp beak, tossing them to the side without effort. Twenty feet from the monster, Nick the guard ran toward it, his sword drawn and ready to strike.

As the distance between them shrank, the notorious monster known as The Turkey Titan whipped its wing across Nick. The attack flung him into the air. Nick landed with a dull clank before he rolled to a stop. Undeterred, Nick began to rise again.

Pete considered the situation. Had the turkey followed him to town? Was this whole situation his fault? If it was, he had to do something. Even so, Pete was only level five. If Nick, a level ten guard, couldn’t touch the creature, what chance did Pete have? After all, he was a pizzaman, a job that doesn’t focus on combat. Pete took in a few deep breaths, gathering his courage. Then he charged toward the giant bird.

“Wait!” Mod and Angel both called out to him, but he ignored and pressed forward.

While he neared the creature, Pete lifted his hand to slap and shouted the most appropriate battle cry he could come up with. “It’s time for Thanksgiving!”

The turkey turned to Pete and swung its wing. The attack followed the same trajectory and speed as it had used on Nick.

Pete managed to dive under it: rolling to his feet, bending his knees, and jumping with as much strength as possible.

Pete’s eyes widened with surprise as he pushed up into the air. He’d expected his strength bonuses from leveling up would help him elevate. Even so, he found himself thirty feet in the air, looking down at the turkey. With that kind of ups, he would have been the star player for any team in the NBA.

On his way down, he activated Steel Hands. When he reached the head level of the turkey, he slapped across its beak with a thwack. It squawked, stumbling to the side.

Pete’s knees buckled as he landed, but he was able to keep his balance. When he looked at his enemy’s health bar, he realized it had depleted by one-fourth. Corresponding prompts appeared:

The Turkey Titan attacked you. You Dodged!

You activated ability Steel Hands.

You attacked The Turkey Titan. You caused 140 damage.

You gained 10 jumping proficiency.

You gained 2.7 slapping proficiency.

You gained 6 evasion proficiency.

As the Turkey regained its balance, it shrieked with rage and glared at Pete.

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“Son,” Nick the guard stepped next to Pete. “I appreciate the help, but you can’t fight this. It goes outside the scope of your job.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Pete explained. “I can turn that turkey into pepperoni, a meat topping for my pizzas.”

Nick smiled, his bushy mustache accenting the smile. “Ah, I like how you think, son.” Nick’s name appeared with a corresponding health bar. It was straight below Pete’s health bar on his battle menu, and a prompt appeared:

Nick Warman joins your party.

Where Nick liked how Pete thought, the turkey did not; it did not like anything about Pete. It charged at him, pecking its beak against the ground in a fast rhythm. Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck. Each peck brought it closer to Pete, spraying pebbles and dirt into the air, causing the ground to shake. And Pete ran in the opposite direction. He could hear the bird behind him; it was getting closer. Boom. Boom. Boom.

The beak lifted and dropped, this time pointed straight at Pete, the point ready to impale him. Pete dove to the side, avoiding the beak.

Though he avoided the sharp point, a shockwave caught Pete, lifting him and hurling him through the air. When he landed, it knocked the air from his lungs, and he let out an oof.

The Turkey Titan used machine gun beak. You received 27 damage.

The turkey remained so focused on Pete that it didn’t notice Nick sneak behind it and attack it. In truth, Pete didn’t notice him either, but he saw the prompt:

Nick the guard used Warrior’s Sword. Critical Hit. Turkey Titan received 100 damage.

The message surprised Pete. His typical slap had caused more damage than a level ten guard’s sword skill. Sure, Pete had boosted his attack with Steel Hands. Yet, he still expected Nick’s sword to cause more damage than it had. Was Nick’s sword that weak? Or was Pete’s slapping overpowered? In the middle of the battle with the Turkey Titan, Pete didn’t have time to contemplate it. When he returned to his feet, the turkey had refocused on Nick.

Pete looked at the distracted turkey. Its health bar was down to half its maximum. Two or three more hits and they could defeat it. Pete bent his knees and jumped at an angle.

The second his feet left the ground, he realized he put too much strength into his jump, and he slammed into the back of the Turkey Titan’s head. It whined in surprise. Before Pete fell, he grabbed hold of feathers near its head and wrapped his legs around its neck. When he oriented himself, he realized he had mounted the turkey like a horse.

When he felt secure, he released his hand grip and began to slap back and forth. Slap, slap, slap. Without the Steel Hands effect active, the attacks didn’t cause as much damage. Nonetheless, three of the weaker slaps was enough to deplete the turkey’s HP in full.

“Woooah!” Pete yelled as he and the turkey began to fall toward the ground. To prepare for the impending moment where they crashed, he hugged his arms around the monster’s neck and braced.

A second later, they hit down, causing the earth to quake, shooting up a dust cloud beneath the mass of its vast body. Pete coughed and waved his hand back and forth in front of his face to push the dust away.

A coughing Nick the guard, walked through the cloud of dust, drawing near Pete. “That was great, son. Good job. I didn’t realize you had it in you. Of course, I could have handled it by myself, but you made it easier. That is for certain.”

Prompts appeared:

You defeated notorious monster The Turkey Titan.

Congratulations! You received 1000 experience points!

Nick Warman gained a level!

Congratulations! You gained two levels.

You received the following item drops: turkey bacon strips x 3,000, turkey pepperoni x 3,000, fingerless titan gloves, strong leather squares x 100, a titan’s sword.

Before Pete had finished reading the prompts, Nick spoke. “I want all the bacon and the sword. Did you say the pepperoni is meat, too?”

Pete decided against answering Nick’s question. He knew it would make negotiating for the items he wanted more difficult.

Pete already knew he wasn’t getting any of the bacon.

He also knew he wanted all the pepperoni for the pizzeria. With half the leather, he’d have more than enough to craft high-quality uniforms for the pizzeria. The fingerless gloves looked cool and would give him some extra defense. “You can have all the bacon, half the leather, and the sword. I get the pepperoni, the other half of the leather, and the gloves. That is exactly half to each of us.”

“Sounds fair,” Nick stroked his chin before holding out his hand to shake Pete’s. “You have yourself a deal.”

As they shook hands, a new series of prompts came:

You received Turkey Pepperoni x 3,000

You received strong leather x 50

You received fingerless titan gloves

Pete put the gloves on, and another prompt appeared:

You learned Machine Gun Slap

Cool, Pete thought, happy to learn a new ability. After sorting the other items, Pete told Nick, “I expect you at the Mod’s bakery tomorrow. I’ll have a special surprise for you.”

“An all meat pizza?” Nick asked.

Pete smiled. “That’s possible, but I can’t spoil the surprise. Make sure you stop by tomorrow, okay?”

“Son,” Nick smiled ear to ear. “I’m sure it will be the highlight of my day.”