It took some time for my sleep deprived and evidently confused mind to clear up properly. However, once it did, I felt twice the fool that I already was. What was I even thinking? The idea of having sex with Aria seemed almost surreal, especially in the present situation.

She treats me like a little sister and therefore obviously thinks of me as a child. I cried out internally, right there and then I was feeling like some sort of disgusting freak that stole itself into the body of a girl to sleep with other women. I was seriously frustrated by the entire misunderstanding. I wanted to clear things up, but how would I do that?

Telling her that I am a human man, who lived seventy-two years, then got thrown into the body of an elfmaid, was properly and entirely out of the question. I have no intention of getting crucified so early in my new life. There is plenty of time for that later.

That was what caused the crux of my present annoyance. I wanted to explain myself, because I felt guilty while having no chance to explain myself, because it would be either completely unbelievable, or in the worst case she actually believes me, but that would bring other kinds of consequences which are far less desirable than simply shutting up and enduring my guilt.

I mean, this is some kind of middle ages setting. At best, they would try to exorcise my evil spirit. At worst, I would get broken into a wheel, publicly impaled on a pike, whipped to death or maybe ripped apart by tying my limbs to horses that are urged into opposing directions.

I shivered from the thought and decided to stay silent for good while Aria lit a candle and helped me with my hair. She was currently combing through it with her fingers, giving me suspicious looks occasionally. She could see my brooding expression, and that faint hint of pink that still remained from my previous blush.

Oh, thank god she didn’t see that one… I can imagine my head being red as a paradise.

Still, why would my body react the way it did, and so strongly? While there was no reaction at all previously… Was it because of this body’s preference? Are white elves some kind of masochistic race? I shook my head. That reasoning was too cheap, even for my current mental state.

Let’s look reality in the face. It was not because of my race… My gender might have something to do with it, but it’s obviously not the main reason. It must have something to do with my personality, then.

I stopped there for a second, thinking about the hospital where I spent my recent years. Being helpless, entrusted on the nurses… I gulped, feeling an internal spike of discomfort. I could feel that my line of thoughts were way too close to the truth of the matter.

At the same time, I also knew that this truth would be too much for the current me to accept as a truth or anything even close to that.

Alas, it was already too late, as one thought led to another.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, nervously chewing on the lower lip while my expression hardened into a stony exterior.

For fuck’s sake, god is really cruel. Bringing me back to life and all, only to realize that I had turned into a pervert in my previous life. This better stay’s between us Axis, don’t you dare to mention it to any other of your followers!

There was no answer to my silent demand, no sense of wrongness or warmth of acceptance, as I have become used to it. After all, Axis have become a constant companion for me, a lingering presence, a silent judge that gently nudged me into the right direction.

Yet there was no judgement, no brush of coldness or depressing aura appeared.

Come to think of it, I didn’t feel Lord Axis’ presence for quite some time. I still prayed regularly to him, praised his name just the same as previously. Yet his presence was becoming weaker by the day. Now… now I couldn’t even sense it, as if he disappeared entirely.

That particular thought left a deep sense of disturbance in my soul.

It… it might also have something to do with my tiredness… Yes, that’s right… I must be too tired and also too frustrated to commune with Lord Axis right now. I am practically still half asleep. That must be the reason… Lord Axis wouldn’t abandon me just like that, especially not without a simple warning or a word of advice. I swiftly persuaded myself that this was but a momentary occurrence, while deep down, I still felt an ominous sense of doom.

I found myself eagerly turning back to my previous thoughts, that suddenly felt a lot less uncomfortable than they were before my new realization.

To be fair, my body had this strong sense of discomfort for a while now. This sense of tightness, occasional sensitivity in certain places, with the sometimes occurring burst of heat and excitement from the slightest touch. I wasn’t sure what might have been causing it, but now I think I have a reasonable guess. I might be wrong about this, but I think that I am starting to have some sort of sexual frustration. Yes, in retrospect, I admit that this was quite obvious. Still, in my defence, I wasn’t really sexually active in my recent years… let’s… let’s just leave it at that.

What is important is that I kind of forgot what it was like, aside from that I am a girl-woman now! While I will admit that there are similarities… it’s still quite a different sensation, all in all! I mean, you can’t misinterpret a boner in the morning, can you?

On the other hand, being a girl, the general sensation wasn’t focused on a single spot. It was spread out on your entire body, and it was at least for me a lot harder to understand. Especially that the strangest of things seemed to turn me on.

I felt feint while thinking about this.

I knew deep down that some serious changes were happening in me since I arrived to this world. I didn’t want to admit it, but I have caught myself more than one time staring at the dwarfs doing their stuff around the camp.

For fuck’s sake and fucking hell on top of that! I have been staring at their muscular built, especially their trunk like arms. At first I simply shrugged it off, writing it off as a manly appreciation for their effort. Today, however… it was different. It pains me to admit, but I noticed myself stealing glances at… well, there.

At least staring at Aria’s buttocks while she run in front of me was still entertaining in a way. I still noticed that it didn’t really do it for me now. Then again… when she took the initiative… I gulped… I can still feel a wet spot down there… perhaps I didn’t turn into a complete faggot just yet. Yes, let’s focus on the small victories for now. I will… I will deal with it later.

I felt a harsh pull on my right earlobe, sending a burst of pain through my body, simultaneously a shameful excitement traveled through me. — “Ah?!” — A surprised shout left my mouth on its own accord. It sounded kind of erotic, even to my own ears.

The following silence that filled out the inside of the tent was like the silence before an execution. I felt my cheeks turning red the moment I realized what I have done. I felt exposed and panicked internally while the silence loomed over us, like a cat caught by its tail.

The silence was broken, not by Ariawyn’s but Camilla’s mocking voice.

“Oh my, wasn’t that a cute sound you made there? I guess the rumour about some elves having a sensitive ear wasn’t complete bullocks for once.” — Camilla’s voice cut off there for a second as she tried to meet my cast down eyes as I tried to hide my embarrassed expression. — “I would pay a whole silver coin just to have a glimpse of what you were thinking about a few seconds before, girl.” — She added and I finally looked up at her as a burst of fear jumped through me.

I never thought about the possibility of someone having the ability to read thoughts through magic, but it was entirely possible in this world. What the hell will I going to do if I run into someone with such talent?

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Staring at Camilla, who was sitting up in her own sleeping bag with a shit-eating grin plastered across her face, was not helping my situation, especially with such thoughts circulating inside my mind. I, however, caught Camilla’s gaze, that was focusing on my own, then switching to somewhere behind me to my right.

Before I could say anything or turn around, I felt a fist hammering down on the top of my head. I cried out again, and this time there was not a hint of pleasure in my voice.

The hit wasn’t that hard, of course, but it was still painful enough to startle me out of my stupor. I blinked rapidly, instinctively covering my head and massaging the place where I was attacked.

It was not the end however, my ear was grabbed once again as Aria shouted into it, practically using it like a damned microphone.

“EEEPP!” — I screamed in frightened protest as she shouted into my ear.

“Young lady, I have told you five times by now that I am done with your hair, and we can go after you pulled on those ridiculous boots. So if you are ready to scavenge up that scattered brain of yours, we might as well head out. I do intend to still sleep after you are done with your deal.” — She pronounced that last part with a barely hidden hint of a threat.

I nodded along with every word of hers like a frightened chicken. Which reaction evidently resulted in an openly laughing Camilla rolling on her side while pointing at my face in the background.

I didn’t have the luxury to care about her reaction, and instead jumped on my boots, pulling them up faster than I ever did, or thought it to be possible.

All in all, the whole ordeal took me about one and a half minutes. Then I was out of the tent, walking along Aria, who was following the dwarf who, instead of the bored expression that I imagined him with, after hearing his apathetic tone.

“…” — Well… let’s just say that he had an eerily similar grin on his face compared to the one that Camilla showed me previously. I chewed on my lower lip anxiously. As the man’s brown eyes glanced towards me, our gaze accidentally met. It was enough for me to notice how the wrinkles around his eyes smiled, or the way his brown eyes glinted with barely contained laughter.

I knew immediately that he heard everything.

I entertained the idea of asking Aria if we could simply go back to the tent and sleep, but a simple glance at her was enough to realize that saying such things after waking her up wouldn’t be wise. Since I didn’t intend to get spanked by the annoyed woman, no matter how my insides twisted in excitement from the possibility. I instead shut my trap and stared ahead as if my life was on the line.

In the meantime, we were actively being led by the grinning bastard of a dwarf towards the main tent of the camp. It was clear at a glance after we neared the place that a bunch of new dwarfs had arrived recently.

After all, there was no other reasonable way to explain the large amount of people lazing around the captain’s tent.

I began to search those faces, looking for anyone familiar, not that I knew that many of the people I was traveling with. We got separated before I had the chance to get to know them. In retrospect, maybe that was for the better, as looking at the number of them, it was clear how many we truly lost in that unfortunate encounter.

If I said that less than half of the original number were present, I would be vastly exaggerating the number. At best, it was a third of it. Not even mentioning the pitiful state they were in. I highly doubted that we will in any realistic way truly start our travel towards the capital as originally intended.

These people needed rest, and by rest I didn’t mean a half night of sleep, but an entire day at least.

While I was once again lost in my thoughts, I felt a strong hand lock around my wrist. I instinctively turned around to see whom the offending hand belonged to. Alas, before I could get a good look at the person, I was already engulfed in a bone-crushing hug.

A hug that I instinctively reciprocated the moment my eyes fell on the familiar sight of Emrum. I felt a great sense of relief passing over me when I saw him in one piece. He had all his limbs, and everything important seemed to be in the right place.

I wasn’t sure what to hope for, when I heard that he was heavily injured, but it seems that it was not as critical of an injury as I thought, or was simply not in an easily spottable place.

I was not a man of tears in my previous life, but I will admit that I felt the edges of my eyes water a bit as we stood there engulfing each other in a warm embrace, that shared every feeling between us that words couldn’t convey.

Emrum was truly alive, and relatively well, and what was more important, we were back together once again. The suffocating pressure of this dark cave, the one that seemed to press down on my psyche, lessened quite a bit at the comforting thought.

“You will be the death of me, you stupid lass. Still, I would rather cut off my beard than to deny how good it is to see your face!” — The familiar grumpy voice that I have long since started to associate with Emrum stated joyfully and I chuckled at the thought of a beardless Emrum.

“Oh, well! That would be a sight to see!” — I added with a wide smile while looking slightly down to meet his gaze.

“I bet you would like to see that! Sorry to disappoint, this beard is not going anywhere!” — I smiled even wider than I finally stepped back, breaking our celebratory hug.

“It is so good to see you, too. I wasn’t sure if we will ever see each other again.” — I admitted the harsh truth, a statement that seemed to sober up our momentary jovialty.

“Aye…” — Emrum admitted. — “I thought that I have lost you to those beardless beasts!” — That statement seemed to freeze the surrounding air, as a low seeping anger filled with bloodlust leaked out of the dwarf’s exterior. His gaze momentarily unfocused, stuck in a distant memory. — “Even when we regrouped and went back to the destroyed caravan. We could only find your staff, laying under the cart that was surrounded by half frozen darklings. When I saw the scene… I-I could hardly think of anything, but the worst.” — Emrum admitted, a dark shadow passing over his pale expression. One that once again turned into rage at a moment’s notice.

“I warned that fool, multiple times, I did! I told him that we cannot travel the deep roads like it’s some backyard kindergarten! The deep roads don’t care about profits!” — He shouted, angrily gesturing with his hands. — “Look where profits got him, struck by three arrows, couldn’t even see it coming. The stubborn fool!”

While focused on Emrum's explanation, I was grabbed by a gentle yet firm pair of hands and with a sudden pull; I was involuntarily straightened up and pulled back a few hesitant steps to keep my balance. Creating a slightly wider space between me and the dwarf.

This, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by Emrum, who, just like I did, turned towards the perpetrator. Based on his skyrocketing eyebrows, I would wager that he was surprised by what he saw.

“Those clothes!? What in the molten hells is a dark-…” — His sentence was cut short in a familiar and very effective way which I have so many times experienced in our short time of acquaintance with the wood elf.

“Dwarf sir, this armor is little more than what your people tend to call war spoils. Aside from that, it does not showcase any of my inner values or association. Therefore, I would ask you, in good faith, to not group me together with such lowlifes. I will now overlook your misunderstanding, given the circumstances, but do not make that mistake once again. I am a proud member of the Wood realm, after all, and demand to be treated with the expectable dignity. Especially as your people so often boast about your famous hospitality.”

Emrum’s initial surprise was quickly overcome by a sour expression, and to be fair, even I was surprised by Ariawyn’s viciousness and the widely different way how she acted around dwarfs.

If her actions were any indication, I wasn’t surprised at all that the dwarven people thought of elfs like stuck up fools.

Still, Emrum quickly overcome his situation and hid his expression behind a neutral mask.

“Forgive my rudeness, my lady, but there is a saying from where I came. If one drapes herself in wolf’s clothing, then she shouldn’t be surprised to get chased down by dogs.” — Emrum stated with a slight grin at the corner of his lips.

Alas, the elf was not phased by his comeback, and instantly uttered her own response. — “Yes, indeed, the wisdom of the elders are quite intriguing… Still, I find myself somewhat shocked by their willing association with dogs. Looking at you now, I wouldn’t be surprised to find a colony of fleas nesting in that beard of yours.”

Emrum snorted at that, then pointed into the elf’s face. — “Oh yes? Why you aren’t that much different in that regard? There might as well be a nest of lice hiding in that precious grime covered hair of yours, elf!”

This, to my surprise, caused Aria to develop a light blush across her cheeks, and there was no apparent comeback prepared on her side. Which resulted in an awkward pause in the heated argument.

In the end, Aria came back to her senses first.

“I believe,” — She started with a stiff tone. — “that much public show of emotion was more than enough for one night.” — She spoke, grabbing onto my shoulders with an unrelenting intensity. It’s needless to say that I felt very uncomfortable in this entire situation, like a child that was forced to listen to her parents’ arguments.

Not that I was all that surprised by the outcome. Knowing the two’s personality, I was fairly certain that if Ariawyn came along, an argument was mostly unavoidable. Still, it was surprising how quickly, and in which direction the argument went, resulting to low blows about one’s appearance without even knowing their names, it felt idiotic to be honest.

Without further argument, I was pulled along by the enraged wood elf, right back to our tent. I was barely able to shout a hesitant good night to Emrum while being dragged away.

I also saw the dwarf facepalming behind Aria in his apparent frustration.

At least for once, it was not me who caused the commotion. I felt surprisingly smug about this.