It took us some time to calm down and get our bearings. We realized that indeed, we couldn’t stay in this place longer than absolutely necessary. Simultaneously, we couldn’t just continue our escape empty handed.

There was one way we could get items in the present situation. There were three killed dark elves in front of us, laying in their own pool of blood. Alas, the very idea of looting dead bodies felt gruesome and disturbing to me.

I asked Ariawyn to rest while I, and Camilla, started to check over the bodies. Of course she protested at first, but I was adamant on this. Partly from the deep guilt I felt for risking her life selfishly. Because it was a selfish act, no… not even that. It was a cowardly act. I was so terrified from getting into the hands of that man that I so easily disregarded her life.

To think that my mana was barely enough… if I used, but a little more previously, then she would be dead now. The worst part was that I just knew deep down that I didn’t regret my decision, especially so, since she survived. If a similar situation would appear again, I would likely do the same.

Honestly… I never thought about feeling such terror after dying and coming back to life… How foolish and arrogant that thought was.

I clenched my teeth while searching over one of the dark elves’ bodies for anything useful.

The deeply ingrained fear of death which all living beings struggle with while still present it lacks the factor of the unknown in my case. Naturally because I have already experienced it once, and in fact I know that it’s not the end of the line, so to speak.

That being said, I should have realized that in the process of dying, the actual state of death is often less terrifying that the process itself. My metaknowledge hardly offered any comfort against torture, rape, humiliation or beatings.

Understanding this fact was difficult. It made me look at the world with a certain sense of fear. Where previously lay nothing but curiosity, now it was tainted by suspicion. The entire world seemed to darken and become more threatening and ominous.

I bit down on the edge of my lips with a quickly growing anxiety as I continued to search the still warm body of the dark elf. I have found a few daggers, a half-eaten piece of bread, and a skin of water that was almost full. Undoubtedly, the last bit was the most important of my findings.

Camilla searched the other body and found a handful of gold coins, some nuts that are probably edible and a one handed crossbow with a quiver of arrows on a belt that she attached around her hip. There was also a gracefully designed short sword hanging on her newly plundered belt now. She also slipped the dagger that she had got from Ariawyn previously into the back of her right boot.

I remembered that at the ambush of the caravan she got a dagger from seemingly thin air at the most opportune moment. Now, I knew where she got it. Smart girl, I often forgot about the fact that she is an adventurer, someone who is used to this life, at least as used one could get.

With that done, she moved over to the third body, while I was still struggling with the first one.

Ariawyn slowly stood up and moved over to me with a hesitant smile. The woman was clearly expecting me to order her back to her place sitting next to the wall. For god’s sake, her throat was cut not even fifteen minutes ago! Even if I ignore the mental trauma, she lost a lot of blood. She was almost as pale as me, which was saying something, especially since she had a deeply tanned skin shade.

Still, I realized how pitiful I was at looting. I could hardly find anything on the man that wasn’t put in an obvious place. Realizing how hopeless I was in this, I lowered my head and allowed the woman to help me. Well, if that was her intention to begin with.

The woman kneeled down next to me. I glanced up at her, only to be surprised by her embarrassed expression.

“Selora… listen… could you help me get off his armor… and clothes?”

I blinked, surprised by the suggestion. — “Sure, but? May I ask why?”

She looked aside, as if unwilling to look into my eyes. Something that was quite unusual for her, based on her actions until now.

“I-well…” — She sighed, as if being annoyed to have to spell out her every intention.

“My clothes are ruined.” — She said sharply. Her lips pressed into a thin line barely visible from the pressure with which she squeezed them together. Coupled with a reluctant frown that she pointed at me. There was a burst of annoyance in those ice-blue eyes, and it finally hit me.

“Ah… Oh!” — I blushed under her stare and immediately started to strip off the man’s wrist guards.

I could hear her desperate sigh next to me, and soon after she joined helping me and giving a few pointers on how to actually take off a leather armor along the line. I never had to wear armor before, so it was entirely new to me. My clothes were hardly considered proper armor, and they were actually put on like any other clothes. There was nothing to figure out for me there. Well, nothing except these long-necked boots that were a pain to take off, not even speaking of putting them on.

To be fair, I should have understood the wood elves’ intentions a lot sooner. Her clothes were little more than rags, even before… well, before the incident.

My hand paused in the middle of the process of untying the laces of the chest part. I just realized that I didn’t even apologize from Ariawyn.

There was immediately a tight knot in my throat from the idea alone. Yet I knew that I needed to do this, if I don’t want to feel like utter trash for the rest of my life… Well… it’s best if I get over with it fast.

“Cough… um…” — I stared at my hands, still clutching the leather strips that pulled and fastened the individual pieces of the chest armor together.

“I… I wanted to say… I wanted to apologize for what I did… It, it was cowardice… I didn’t want to, I couldn’t let him get his way with us… no with me… I was terrified, and I am sorry for putting you through all that. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but… I still wanted to say that I am sorry…”

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The shuffling from the other side of the body stopped for a while since I started to speak, but I couldn’t look up, even when I clearly felt two pairs of eyes lingering on my form.

There was a small sigh next to me as the woman prepared for a long-winded monologue.

“Young one… of course you were terrified. You are but a hundred years old, barely an adult. I would call you an arrogant fool if you weren’t. That man, the one you killed, was at least a half-elf. Based on the way he fought. Seeing how easily he bested me, redirecting all my strikes and even your magic once. I am certain that he was one of the leaders of this raiding group.”

“One thing is certain, he was definitely older than a hundred years, maybe even two or three. To imagine how much evil that one person must have caused in all that time. Especially to achieve such proficiency in fighting.” — The woman added with a thoughtful expression. — “None the less, he will not cause more suffering, thanks to you.”

She sighed, then said with a serious tone.

“As I have mentioned it before. What you did was a reasonable decision. That was why I nodded to you when you sought out my gaze at the moment of the crisis. I have been captured and to save me, you would have to doom your fate as well. I have already told you that I would rather die then to be enslaved to the dark ones. Therefore, I could hardly fault you for your decision. I would not desire a life where my existence doomed yours to such a dire fate. Not even mentioning the fact that you saved me in the end.”

Camilla suddenly invited herself into the conversation.

“By the way… I am curious about your age. How old are you, Aria?”

The wood elf’s expression tightened the moment she heard Camilla’s voice. There was clearly a grudge on her part from the human girl’s previous cheek.

“It’s Ariawyn to you, ignorant girl. I don’t remember letting you to act so casual with me?” — She said, turning back to me in an attempt to ignore Camilla’s retort.

“You can call me Aria, if you want. I don’t mind it, in your case.” — She heavily punctuated that one, yes she did.

I could see that Camilla’s jaw hanged loosely in the air as she stood right behind the wood elf.

“You didn’t even answer my first question…” — The girl mumbled to herself, clearly dispirited by the open discrimination.

It seemed that her sad tone managed to get to Aria, as she hesitantly answered after finally taking off the dead man’s chest armor.

“Well… if you must know, I am in my six hundred eighty third spring.” — The woman said with a bit of reluctance seeping into her voice. As if admitting the ridiculous number was uncomfortable for her. Come to think of it, it most likely was.

Especially as both me and Camilla stared at her in disbelief.

“What?” — She asked sensing our glare.

It was, once again, Camilla who answered first. — “How is that someone a third of your age got the better of you so easily?”

Hearing those words, I instinctively slapped my forehead. — “Camilla…” — I groaned in a warning tone.

“What?” — Aria’s eyes widened at the accusation. — “It’s not like I spent all of my time fighting and raiding villages!” — She said defensively, with an uncomfortable shift in her posture. — “There were three of them, and I got two! Why are you criticizing me when you didn’t do anything? Useless lass!”

“Oh, yeah! I bet the other two were small fries. I could have taken care of them easily.” — Camilla said with a challenging smirk.

“You what?” — Aria blinked, unable to comprehend the absurdity of this argument. — “Look kid, if you don’t remember, I am a spear wielder, not a sword master! Nor am I in my best condition…” — She was cut off by Camilla.

“Excuses-excuses…” — She started, but suddenly shut up as the wood elf turned on her, sending a death glare in her direction, one that made Camilla take a step back.

“Okay-okay… my bad… sorry! Damn… no reason to get all pissed-… I mean… Uhm…”

There was a moment of silence, then Ariawyn said slowly, but with a steel in her voice that wasn’t there before. — “Come here.”

Camilla stepped from one leg to the other, as she asked with a tense tone. — “Why?”

“I have raised two girls. Both of them were in their own league of troublesome and cheeky. So I will tell you this only once. Get your sorry ass over here so I can teach you to respect your elders properly."

The girl gulped, then pointed towards a dark corner next to the entrance of the side tunnel.

“I-I think I have seen something there… yes! Definitely! I will go and check it out while you finish. I will be just over there if you need anything…” — With that said, she skittered away hastily.

“You may run now…” — The older elf said while sending a chilly glare after the escaping human. — “but I will get you later…” — Aria swore under her breath, with cold fury while turning back to the task at hand with a lighthearted smile. The sharp shift in her mood sent cold shivers down my spine, and I immediately decided that I shall never make her angry at me.

“Where were we? Ah, yes… As I have said previously. You did what you had to. As you know my age now, you also know that I have lived quite a life. While I was still considered middle-aged among the elves. I can seriously say that I tried most of the truly important things that life can offer. Aside from that, I was ready to die from the moment the dark ones captured me. As a Tree Guard, I would have preferred to fall in battle in defence of my people, then to live in terror under the torment of the dark ones any day.”

She said, and her words felt quite reasonable, if a bit hard to accept. What made it worse was that I could feel in her honest tone that she wasn’t simply trying to comfort me with empty words. She truly meant what she spoke, and it made me feel worse. For one, the concept of so willingly giving away your life was new to me. While movies often depicted such an act, reality lacked the frivolous context that it was often engulfed with in movies. It was as simple as that, and this very simplicity was the real thing that made it so powerful of an act of pure selflessness.

I was simply stunned, struggling to process the entirety of what I owed to Ariawyn. Because I was not a man… and definitely not going to be a woman who doesn’t pay her depths in full.

Ariawyn continued with her words.

“That would be my advice for you, too. If they ever capture you, kill yourself while you have the chance. Don’t believe for a second that you will have a second chance to escape like it happened to us now. One time is a miracle already, and I don’t trust in the consistency of miracles.”

I nodded, knowing that her words were true.

In the meantime, we mostly removed the armor and clothes of the man. Piling them up in a small hill next to the mostly naked body.

The sight alone left a lingering distaste in my mouth. As I glanced at the empty glassy red eyes that were so similar to a living being, yet so unmistakably different at the same time. It made the small hairs stand on the back of my neck and forearms.

Seeing my discomfort, Aria gently ushered me towards the entrance of the side tunnel. — “That said, I believe we have far overstayed our welcome. Wait for me alongside that snake tongued friend of yours while I change into these new clothes and armor.”

I nodded, then asked hesitantly. — “Will you be alright?”

She stopped for a second, then said over her shoulder. — “Meaning, will I be able to get clothed on my own?” — She snorted in distaste. — “I might be a patient woman Selora, especially towards young ones…” — She stopped for a while, as if to think over her words, then added anyway.

“Still, if you insist on humiliating me any further, I will whoop your ass the same way I will beat that human girl’s. She should have been born seven centuries prior if she wanted to get away scot-free with such an insult.”

I shivered from her tone and stuttered out a response quickly. — “I-I wouldn’t dream of it, ma’am.” — That said, I bowed, and left to join Camilla guarding the entrance. I didn’t dare to say anything about Aria’s plans to her. My cowardice once again running free, but this time I didn’t have a sense of suffocating guilt about it.

Honestly, the girl deserved what was coming for her.