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The Wizard of Ounces
Chapter 6: Better than the Truth

Chapter 6: Better than the Truth

Chapter 6: Better than the Truth  

"There it is!" shouted Bob. "The gates of the town are in view!"

  "About time," said Jazz, "following the path of the golden scales was a hot, sweaty business."

  "Yeah, and the last thing you wanted to do was trip and fall into that wriggling, burning mass of scales. I had to concentrate on my every step after what befell those Orcs," chimed in Juan.

  "We don't have to think about that anymore," said Lefty, "Just think about what arriving at a town means - food, baths, money..."

  Juan sniffed the air and proudly smiled. "Girls!"

  "It is a town, Juan," said Lefty, "I am sure there are girls there."

  Juan whipped his blond hair around. "Don't mean to complain, but I am little tired of seeing your ugly mugs guys."

  Bob could see Lefty's eyes start to shine.

  "Well, the reason we are here is to meet the Halfling baker and the wizard and solve the mystery of these sandwiches, not money and girls," said Bob.

  "It is all one and the same thing," said Lefty, don't worry, mate, us shadow people can multi-task."

  Juan raised his arm and placed his hand on Bob's shoulder, which was no easy feat as Bob was a good head taller than Juan, despite Juan being a good head taller than Lefty. "Why do you think people adventure, Bob? It is not just out of the love of killing Orcs."

  "I wish it wasn't even to kill Orcs. Whatever happened to doing good?" said Bob.

  "Huh?" said Lefty, "you should learn to speak up."

  "Bob, for such a large man, you aren't so smart, are you?" said Juan with a smile.

  "Bad enough I get this from a puppet," said Bob, "let's just get passed that gate."

  "Hark! Who commeth to this gate?" shouted out one of the two guards, pointed helmets on their head, spear in their right hand, sword in their scabbard, standing in front of a bared gate in the tower that jutted out of the town wall.

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  "Hail!" said Bob.

  Jazz leaned over to Lefty, and said to him, "ever notice there are always two guards standing in front of town gates, what's up with that?"

  "Simple economics mate," replied Lefty, "three guards is too expensive, and one guard would fall asleep or wander off or something from boredom."

  The second guard shouted out, "Friend or foe?"

  Bob returned, "Friend."

  Lefty leaned over to Jazz and said to him, "And, they always say the same silly things like friend or foe? Like enemies of the town would be honest?"

  Jazz smiled and said, "I guess they don't have money for a better speech writer, right?"

  The first guard shouted out, "As a friend, that'll be 3 gold pieces each!"

  The second guard followed with his shout, "That is for a total of 12 gold pieces!"

  Bob said, "Oof!

  Jazz leaned over to Lefty and said, "You are always a friend when it comes down to giving money."

  Lefty replied, "Ain't that the truth. But, I know something better than truth."

  Bob turned his back on the guards and looked at the party. "What are we going to do guys? They want 12 gold pieces to enter and we only have 10, and we need that to give to the Wizard."

  "Let me take care of this," said Lefty.

  Everyone turned and watched Lefty step out of the shadows and face the two guards.

  "What is Lefty doing?" asked Bob.

  "Yeah, I've never seen Lefty so up front and direct before. I don't know," said Jazz.

  "We are here on offical business, said Lefty, and then he opened up a box to show the sandwich.

  The guards eyes got large.

  The first guard shouted, "Why didn't you say so?"

  The second guard lifted his spear and shouted, "You may pass. Raise the gate!"

  Juan turned to Jazz, "ever notice how guards always finish each other sentences?"

  "Yeah, it is like it is a trope or something, " said Jazz

  "What are you talking about?" asked Juan.

  "Oh never mind," said Jazz, "let's just party and not worry about the bianary or non-bianary nature of guards."

  "Umm...yeah?" said Juan.

  The four party members passed throught the gates, now no longer barred. They walked along a cobblestone street. They could see shadows fall from the town wall and a few houses in the near distance.

  Juan turned to Lefty. "Great job! But, how did you do that?"

  "I don't know. I just know that lies are sometimes better than the truth. To be honest I didn't expect the guards to be that gullible."

  "Yeah?" said Bob, "but what are we going to do now? We aren't here on official business! We stole that sandwich from that Golem.

  "We'll worry about that later," said Lefty, "we have other things to take car of first."

  "Girls!" shouted Juan.

  "Don't forget the baths," said Jazz.

  "Yeah, that sounds nice, but we still have to deal with the sandwich mystery. People are dying over this, " said Bob.

  "Bob has a point there," replied Jazz.

  "Listen Bob, we didn't have to kill those guards. And, we still have the money to give to the wizard. I have never met a pacifist fighter before but think about that. Seriously, sometimes lying is just better. That is the truth."

  Bob paused for a second. "I guess if that it the truth then it is not really a lie."

  "There you go, Bob. You get it now!" said Lefty.

  "Loopholes!" said Juan, "Where would we be without them?"

  To which Jazz replied, "Guys, we are talking too much! Time to get some action!"

  A gold dragon familiar, hiding in the shadows cast by the city wall, while the party was talking and not paying attention to their surroundings, started giggling.