Chapter 14: The Stupid Plan

"I know it is difficult but you have to ignore that banging and cries for help. Quick! To the other room!" yelled Jazz.

  And, with that Jazz fled to the other room, followed by Lefty, Juan and Bob in the rear.

  "Help me! I am in so much pain. Someone, please! Hear my cries!" flooded into the next room.

  "Now, I am 100% sure it is a trap," said Lefty. "It wouldn't get louder if it weren't meant to attract us and try to break our reason."

  "I know in my brain that it is a trap but deep in my heart I feel I must help whoever it is, all the worse, if it is Dorothy," said Bob.

  "Stop being such a bleeding heart!" cried Lefty.

  "You can't get to him that way, Lefty. The siren song is too strong for him. We have to get down from the mountain, and as far away from the door as possible," replied Jazz.

  "Okay, then, let me help," said Juan.

  Juan got on one knee and started to pray.

  Bob became transfixed at what Juan was doing, staring intently at Juan as he prayed.

  After Juan finished his prayer, he got up, and took Bob by the hand. "So, tell me Bob, what was it like when you were a child? Did your mom treat you right?"

  "Yes, my mom was a lovely woman. And, really, really strong. Of course, she had to be, as my dad died when I was young. I never knew him. He was a soldier, too. My mom said he died bravely in battle. He was a hero. But, as a reward, he never knew about me. Do you see this sword in this scabbard?"

  "The one you never use anymore?" asked Juan as he was leading Bob to the rope they had used to climb up the mountain.

  "Well, yes," said Bob. "It wasmy father's. It was all that was left of him. A moose actually fell on him."

  "What? A moose? Watch your step on the rope, by the way."

  Bob and Juan were shimmying down the rope.

  "Yeah a moose. My father was with his unit. They were chasing the enemy into this ravine. Or so my mother told me. The path was narrow and muddy due to a seasonal river that had run somewhat dry. The footing was bad. The sun was high in the sky and burned down on their skin. They kept their heads down, avoiding the glare of the sun in their eyes and watching that they did not slip on the mud. Unbeknownst to them, the enemy had gotten up the ravine and to the top, where they had encountered a bunch of moose. The enemy started to push the mooses off the cliff and the very first one landed smack on my father crushing his head and spine. His armor and his spear were crushed. Everything was crushed except this sword which somehow survived without a scratch. Most of the unit perished in that deadly rain of moose. They brought back that sword to my mother. And, my mother gave it to me. And, my mother told me that is why some moose are called reindeer."

  "Huh? What? Really? Anyway, it doesn't matter now, we have climbed down the cliff, I could care less about your stupid family story," said Juan.

  "You mean you only pretended to care?" asked Juan.

  "Duh. Did you really think I'd care about the likes of you? I just wanted you to get down the mountain without opening the door and unleashing whatever peril lay behind it."

  "Good work, Juan," said Lefty. "I told you I know a lot of businessmen who opperate like that. They can feign all sorts of things if it gets them what they want. If you ever need a job, I can put a good word in for ye."

  "No thanks. This is my job for now," said Juan. "I hope there is gold, gals and glory enough in the end."

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  Lefty smiled and nodded.

  "You guys, sometimes, really suck," said Bob.

  "Don't take it personally," said Lefty. "It is better to not get to close to one's mates in this type of work. You never know when they might meet with an unfortunate end."

  Bob shivered at the smile that came to Lefty's face.

  "Take it easy, Bob," said Jazz. "They are only half-joking. Everyone has their own, separate interest, but we all have one shared interest - survival, and if I may add, having a little fun, because that is important, too. Everybody has everybody else's back because that is how one survives, even has fun!"

  "Yeah," said Juan, "But Bob, here, can't even fight anymore. How does he help us out again?"

  "It is not like we don't all have some fatal flaw, Juan. Look at you! You need to get yourself together man, before your God limits your powers," retorted Jazz. "We all have strengths and weaknesses here. No one is perfect. We aren't superheroes. Forget what you learn in those myths about the great heroes of the past that could do no wrong. This is real life! And we are just ordinary people trying to make sense of a world that doesn't make sense."

  "I don't know," said Lefty. "Bob here is got to get better. I guess we all do. I think the one thing I liked about Dorothy is she said that women make men better, turn us from boys to men. She is right. But, we also have to make it happen. We have to change, too. We have to take life by the throat and..."

  "If it were that easy, Lefty, it would already be done," interupted Bob. Sometimes, people have to work things through."

  Lefty walked up to Bob and reached his hand up and tried his best to reach Bob's shoulder. Failing to do so, he brought his hands to his hips and just looked up. "Bob, myfriend. There I said it. You are my friend, okay? Few have ever put up with me. Actually, maybe none that didn't have to. Anyway, that is not the point. The point is the nobles made a fool of you! They made you risk your life over a sandwich. Probably your old man, too. And, probably his old man. You probably come from a long line of fools. There's nothing wrong with that. Shine a mirror on me and you'll probably notice there are lots of things I don't know as well. But, I don't go around going boo-hoo, I can't fight."

  "Lefty," Bob said. "Why do you carry around a puppet? Why doesn't your puppet speak?"

  "Its me act," replied Lefty.

  "No. Lefty, why did you start it? Why is that your act?" asked Bob.

  "I don't know Bob. It just is. It makes me money, so I do it."

  "Well, I suspect it is more than that. I think it is because you think you live in the shadows. That people don't see you, don't hear you. You are not even sure what to say. You just parrot what you think others want to hear, what the nobles want to hear. You just want to survive and have the nobles throw you a few coins. And, the cost is never getting what you really want, out of the shadows. To be seen and heard."

  "That's laughable," responded Lefty.

  "Maybe," said Bob. "But I am always willing to help you...if you want. When you want. I don't know why the four of us have been thrown together. I can't imagine four more different people. But, we have. And, maybe Jazz is right. It has been fun. And, to be honest, I don't really have much else going. So, let's solve this mystery of the sandwiches."

  "Help yourself first, mate," responded Lefty.

  "You know something, Lefty. You are right. I need to help myself more."

  "Yeah?" responded Lefty. "Good on you. Me too. Maybe, we can help each other."

  "For sure."

  "Don't always be daft, Bob, I was only joking!" laughed Lefty.

  Bob laughed as well and repeated, "for sure."

  "We have to help each other if we are going to survive," said Jazz.

  "Yeah, maybe I need to make some improvements, too," said Juan. "Like a facial and a new hair do. How am I going to charm the ladies looking like this!"

  "Criminey!" shouted Lefty.

  Bob watched Juan play with his hair. Then, he noticed Jazz stepping closer.

  "I've got this plan," said Jazz.

  "That's right," said Bob, "what is it?"

  Jazz took a deep breath. " So, before we climbed down the mountain, I was thinking that before we tried to meet my old teacher, we thought maybe the Wizard had sent us on some kind of wild goose chase. Well, now, maybe the answer is not. Maybe, he wanted us out of the way so he sent us somewhere and hoped we would fall into his trap. But, then again, maybe not. Maybe, he didn't know that. We need to find out. So, let's bring him a door. Let's pretend like we found it and all happy to give it to him. If he is like, hey, that's not the right door, we know he tried to trap us. And, if he is like, oh, okay, why did you select this door, we will know he didn't."

  "Umm...what if he didn't try to trap us, what do we do then?" asked Lefty.

  "I guess we play act. We pretend this door is something special and try to get some informaton out of him."

  "Yeah?...and what if he did try to trap us? What then?" asked Lefty

  "Well, I haven't really thought that far yet."

  "Well, that is not a very good plan then is it," said Lefty

  "You got a better plan?"

  "Unfortunately not," said Lefty.

  "It is a stupid plan," said Juan, "but it is a plan. I say we give it a try. It is kind of like that story about the wooden horse."

  "Why do you say that, Juan?" asked Bob.

  "Well, it is kind of a trick to let us get back in and see the Wizard again," said Juan.

  "Nothing is what it seems," said Bob.

  "Alright, let's give it a try. Good plan or stupid plan. At least we have a plan," said Lefty.

  "Do you think this is why war's start?" asked Bob.