Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.
Chapter 86- Paperwork.
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Oh my god, this is the worst part of my day. The pain is excruciating. My muscles are cramping, and my fingers are hurting, but I have to continue on. The mental tax on me is the worst; I can literally feel my brain cramping up. This has been going on forever, and for as long as I can remember, it has been this way. And yet, I must continue. This is not my gift, this is my curse, I'm a fucking teacher.
"You little fucking retard, how hard is it to fucking take something and change it a little to easily pass." If there is one thing I like about being in the past, it is that I can use words like retard again without it actually offending anybody. I'm not even using the word as a slur against people who are actually mentally deficient, just against people who aren't and should really be performing better. And how great it is that there aren't self-important people around to go around policing every little thing. America is so fucked, no don't stop the guns all around the place; we have to police every single little word instead.
But really, the little shits I teach do deserve to be called little retards. How hard is it to read from a book, a sentence maybe, and then rewrite that part in your own words, even something as minor as changing an and to an as well as, but no, they copy it completely the same? Makes my life fucking harder as I have to sit here and grade all of this shit, and I can't even slack off either because there is a chance it will all bite me in the ass later down the line.
And by that, I mean there is random sampling done each year by the Department of Education at the Ministry just to make sure that the education isn't slipping; even then, I am sure it is overall lacking. Still, that means that I have to give a good education and assignments, and even if they do shit at them, I have to mark them properly and do my due diligence. This means I have to spend ages fact-checking that shit with the proper books, marking it, then duplicating that shit and giving the copy back to the student while filing the rest in a filing cabinet.
If the Department of Education finds some mistakes in some of the samples, they will delve deeper into more and depending on what they find, they could revise what you are supposed to teach or just fire the teacher. Of course, I don't really have an issue with that as I am only here for the year anyway, except I have the problem of being famous. My faulty teaching would definitely be reported, and I might even face some fines by the Ministry, but the hit to my reputation would be the worst.
I can already see the title on the front of the Daily Prophet. Gilderoy Lockhart sabotages the future of Britain. Is he truly the hero we thought he was? It would bring my whole identity into question and affect my business, and it might just be a bunch of dominos that begins to fall, people speaking up and saying, 'I say Gilderoy here when he was supposed to be battling a Werewolf in Bulgaria'. I'll have a fucking me too movement start against me or something.
It is safer for me to just do the work and not risk it, and while I do admit my mind kind of just ran off on its own there, that could happen or something similar to it. Still, this does goddamn take it out of me, and every night I am out hunting for Riddle. I am tired as shit. No wonder the teachers usually weren't paying too much attention to the students or whatever shit Harry Potter was getting up to each year because they were bogged down with all of this crap, marking hundreds of students' work every few weeks.
And no wonder McGonagall was as stressed as she was, to the point her body actually showed her age in spite of her having magic. It's because she was not only doing the same work as every other teacher, she was also doing the deputy headmaster duties, the head of house Gryffindor duties and on top of all that, she was doing all of Dumbledore's jobs as well. No wonder she looked so old and had such a huge stick up her arse; she couldn't afford the time to slack off or relax with how much was actually on her plate.
Damn, I bet even if the original Gilderoy Lockhart managed to obliviate Harry and Ron and get out that year without losing his faculties, his life would still have been ruined. The Ministry would have investigated, and Dumbledore would as well, and when his negligence and lack of skill were revealed, everything about him would unravel, and his entire life would be ruined. It was most likely only because of his mind becoming shot at the end of the year that the Ministry didn't bother fully looking into him as he was basically a goldfish.
Anyway, back to the main point. I fucking hate paperwork. I truthfully thought I would never have to do any when I got Andromeda and had her basically running my company, but here I am, sitting at a desk and constantly dipping my quill in ink as I read another asshats stupid-ass six-inch assignment. All I am asking for is an average penal length of effort, but they fuck it up. There are a few that just write really big to fill the requirement, cough cough Ron Weasley cough cough, but those are few and far between.
It is dinner time right now, and here I am in my classroom, the sun slowly setting. I've been here for the last four hours, and I think it is about time I pack this in and go rest and relax before having to go on my night hunt. Before I can pack anything away, however, there is a knock at my door. Curious as I never really get any late visitors at this time, and all the teachers make a point to attend every meal to project security since this isn't any of my booty calls coming for a fun time. So who is it that is skipping lunch to see little old me?
"Professor Lockhart, are you busy?" I hear a female voice call from the other side of the door, a voice that is familiar but doesn't immediately bring a name or face to mind. Interesting. "Come in," I say, intrigued by who it might be calling in, but more than anything, happy to have an actual reason to get away from this god-forbidden monstrosity called paperwork. If only there was some type of clone magic to thoroughly do my work, but there isn't. I push away the papers in front of me, wanting to take my mind off of me.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
"Hi Professor, I was wondering if I might be able to take some of your time to ask some questions." The girl asks as he enters, sauntering in with a calm temperament but with a bit of a smirk on her face. A girl that means trouble, no doubt. She has her long brown hair that goes to her back, mischievous hazel eyes and a body that is much too good for a student. I knew exactly who this was.
"Of course, I would be happy to help you, miss..." I leave it open-ended, alluding that I don't know her name. I do. I very clearly remember her name, but I don't admit it. Sometimes, you have gotta know how to play the game, and while I am not the best, I am a cheater, and remembering things sometimes turns out to be too much, and you seem desperate. "Farley. Gemma Farley, sir." She says as she turns around and closes the door, and though she tries to be subtle, I can tell she took out her wand and magically locked it before walking forward towards me. While I like where this is going, I do need to be cautious. It's part of my job description now.
"Right, Miss Farley. Just take a seat while I organise this, and I'll be back in a jiffy." I say, standing up and swishing my wand to collect all of the papers that I had been working on, levitating them behind me as I walk up the stairs behind my desk to my private quarters. I see her take a seat with no issues as I walk in, closing the door behind me and then placing the papers where they need to go, some shuffling into a filing cabinet. Afterwards, I quickly move and get the Marauders Map and check that the person outside is indeed who they say they are and not some person using Polyjuice. And yep, Gemma Farley is in my classroom right now. I love this bloody map.
Now, it's time for my next precaution. I go and get the Soul Cage, bringing it out with the Diadem inside, and I cast the spell, seeing a trail actually spark to life in front of me. It seems Riddle is up to something right now, but unfortunately, I can't do anything about that. I go and check outside the door while disillusioned, watching the trail lead right out of the door and out of my classroom, bypassing Gemma completely. Looking at the trail, I ultimately decide that if something is happening right now, then even if I can't act, I should at least observe. However, before I can make good on that resolve the trail disapears, Riddle had gone back to his hole.
Well, that works out, I suppose. With this, I can have peace of mind that Riddle is away for the moment. Gemma is actually Gemma, and she isn't being secretly controlled by Riddle. What happens now is actually free from the manipulations of others, and I can possibly have a chance to relax and kick back after all of that bloody, brutal, finger-breaking work. I can't even use any magic to speed it up, as it might mess up, and I can't do anything less than perfection.
I make sure to put the cage back and lock everything up nice and tight, away from sight, before leaving and going back to my class. "So, how can I help Miss Farley?" I ask, walking down the stairs as she sits there in front of my desk, looking like butter wouldn't melt. She looks up at me with a smile, putting a finger in her hair and twirling it as she rests an elbow on the desk. Damn, I am kind of getting flashbacks and deja vu of all the high school-based porn I used to watch in my past life. I used to fantasise about those moments even though I knew they would never happen.
"Oh, well, I've just been wanting to get some one-on-one time with you, sir. Defense Against The Dark Arts is actually my worst subject, and I would like to actually improve on it. In whatever way I can, no matter what it takes." Hearing her say that, I can't help but wonder if an actual porn situation is about to occur. Considering what she had said to me the last time we ran into each other outside of classes, then it just might be. I assumed at the time she was only offering such a thing because she was caught breaking curfew, but I suppose she might have just used that as an excuse- Hold on a minute.
"You are getting an Exceeds Expectations in this class. And this is your worst subject?" She nods her head at that, and I go silent. I remember her grades, and I also know that no Professor gives percentages or anything. Just a straight grade. The grades are, starting from lowest to highest, Troll (T), Dreadful (D) and Poor (P), which are failing grades. And then there are Acceptable (A), Exceeds Expectations (E) and finally Outstanding (O). If she is getting an Exceeds Expectations in this class and it is her worst subject, then...
"So you are getting Outstanding in all of your other classes?" I try to clarify, finding it hard to believe that someone could have such grades when even Hermione Granger, that mythic bookworm, isn't that good across the board. I am sure even in the books, Hermione never aced her exams and got the highest grades in everything; if she couldn't, then how could this girl? Gemma nods her head, affirming my guess. "That is correct. This is the only class I am less than perfect in, and I am willing to do anything to change that... anything." She says, sultrily alluding to something I find very confusing.
"...Right." Given how she is trying to improve her grade, I am sure she is trying to use sexual favours to get me to boost her to an O, which makes me think she might be doing the same for all the other classes as well. Fair enough, I can respect the determination and willingness, to each their own, but it just doesn't make sense. First of all, half the teachers are female, so I don't know how that would work unless they are all secretly lesbians or bisexuals, but even then, all the teachers here are not the type to accept such methods. Even Snape wouldn't accept... Well, maybe he would if the girl looked like Lily Potter, so any pale-skinned redheaded girl could boost their grade with him. But it just doesn't compute.
Finding an issue, I cautiously send a probe forth while staring into Gemma's eyes, slyly testing her defences out. At the end of the day, there is nothing I trust more than myself, and by checking out her mind, I can assure myself what she is actually up to. However, my little plan hits a snafu when she actually turns out to have solid Occlumency, her mind barriers not having a single weak point, and being functionally impenetrable. By that, I mean the only way I would be able to get in without her being weak in mind or body is if I were to force it, which she would definitely know about. So, how do I find out? Well, I am not doing anything wrong, and then there is nothing wrong with being bold and blunt.
"I don't have time to waste, Miss Farley. And I would rather not be bothered with faffing around, so be straight. What do you want?" I say, getting it out and not messing around. Honestly, this right here is slow beans. Right now my main focus is Riddle and defeating him, on winning this little shadow war we have going on. A little fun on the side, while it would help me relax, would ultimately be pointless in the long run. So there is no point in thinking hard about it or wasting time and energy on it. Gemma didn't seem to expect my new approach, but after a second, she ran with it anyway.
"Okay. Truthfully, being fully honest, I want to have sex with you. I like you a lot and want to sleep with you." She says, being just as blunt as I was trying to be. My face doesn't change by an inch, and it is completely plain as I take the information in. Because this isn't anything new for me, admittedly, the girls so far haven't been quite so upfront, but I have just decided to be ignorant and an anime protagonist, ignoring all of their attempts because they are too young. But Farley here is actually a good age, legal, and good to go.
"So you don't want to have relations with me as sexual favours in order to improve your grades? Because that is what you were implying before." I say, trying to outdo her in bluntedness. She was definitely trying to sell that ass in exchange for a grade bump, and if that's what she wants, then I might play ball, but it has to be upfront. "You are correct; I was implying that. However, I do not actually want that. It was merely a way I thought of to pave the way to what I actually want, something I thought would be more digestible for you so I could get what I want... So, do you wanna shag?" She smiles, putting a single finger on my desk and dragging it across the divide towards me, stopping it on my chest.
"I'm not giving you an O unless you earn it," I say with a big smile.
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"Fuck, my fingers hurt more than ever." I look towards my right, where Gemma Farley is laid out on my desk, nearly completely out of it, panting for air. The curiosity hits me, and I test her defences again, but they are still as solid as ever, even with her in this state. Good for her.
She's a strong girl. She's a wild girl as well.