Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.

Chapter 45- Whomping.

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The next day, I was sat in my seat at the Professor's table in the Great Hall. It was morning, and everybody was getting their fill of food before having to go to their first lessons of the year. And so, it is as I take a bit of a toast that I watch a dull, frowning Harry Potter enter the hall and take a seat at the Gryffindor table.

The four long house tables were laden with tureens of porridge, plates of kippers, mountains of toast, and dishes of eggs and bacon beneath the enchanted ceiling. Different to what I expected, the enchanted ceiling isn't always bright and sunny, but it shows the actual sky, and today it is a dull, cloudy grey day.

Harry and Ron sat down at the Gryffindor table next to Hermione, who had her copy of Voyages with Vampires propped open against a milk jug. It's good to see at least someone is studying the books I painstakingly remastered. Also, these three kids are the only entertainment I have so far. Everybody else is so boring, and I am not willing to start pushing my luck so soon and try and get into someone's pants. I'll probably wait for Christmas.

There was a slight stiffness in the way Hermione said "Morning," which told me that she was very disapproving of the way the two boys had arrived. Neville Longbottom, on the other hand, greeted them cheerfully. Neville was a round-faced and accident-prone boy with the worst memory of anyone I had ever seen. I had already watched him drop his food on himself several times, as well as misplace his fork and spend a few minutes looking for it.

"Mail's due any minute - I think Gran's sending a few things I forgot," Neville tells them. Man, I am glad I got this eavesdropping spell. Harry had only just started his porridge when, sure enough, there was a rushing sound overhead and a hundred or so owls streamed in, circling the hall and dropping letters and packages into the chattering crowd.

A letter lands in front of me, and given the handwriting on it, I rightly assume it is from Andromeda, probably updates on the business, so I put it away for later. I watch as other students get their deliveries and witness a big, lumpy package bouncing off Neville's head, and a second later, something large and grey falls into Hermione's jug, spraying them all with milk and feathers.

"Eroll!" said Ron, pulling the bedraggled owl out by the feet. Right, the Weasleys had a stupid owl that smashed into everything. The stupid owl Errol slumped, unconscious, onto the table, his legs in the air and a damp red envelope in his beak. The sight of it made me smile, and I prepared myself for the entertainment.

"Oh, no -" Ron gasped, knowing exactly what hell he had wrought upon himself.

"It's all right. He's still alive," said Hermione, prodding Errol gently with the tip of her finger. She misunderstands why he is worried, and if anything, this will be the one reason that she is happy that her parents are muggles and not wizards.

"It's not that - it's that." Ron was pointing at the red envelope. It looked quite ordinary to the eye, nothing weird about it at all, and I could see both Harry and Hermione were confused, but Ron and Neville were both looking at it as though they expected it to explode.

"What's the matter?" said Harry.

"She's - she's sent me a Howler," said Ron faintly.

"You'd better open it, Ron," said Neville in a timid whisper. "It'll be worse if you don't. My gran sent me one once, and I ignored it and" - he gulped - "it was horrible."

Harry looked from their petrified faces to the red envelope. "What's a Howler?" he said, the sweet summer child. But Ron's whole attention was fixed on the letter, which had begun to smoke at the corners. Oh shit, it is a timed explosive, and it's about to blow.

"Open it," Neville urged. "It'll all be over in a few minutes -" Wow, that's like saying rip the wax off when you are completely naked on TV. You have time, Ron. The intelligent thing to do would be to grab it and make a run for it, try to get somewhere private before it goes off.

Ron stretched out a shaking hand, eased the envelope from Errol's beak, and slit it open, dooming himself. Neville stuffed his fingers in his ears, and seeing him do that, I became very aware that my spell was enhancing my listening to hear them, and I quickly cut it off, and just in time. A split second later, I was not the only one watching them anymore. It really was like an explosion because I could have sworn for a moment it had exploded. A roar of sound filled the huge hall, shaking dust from the ceiling.

"STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU. YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU. I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE-" Mrs Weasley yelled a hundred times louder than usual, made the plates and spoons rattle on the table, and echoed deafeningly off the stone walls. People throughout the hall were swivelling around to see who had received the Howler, and Ron sank so low in his chair that only his crimson forehead could be seen.

"-LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME. WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS. YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED-" Harry turned very red when his name was mentioned, and he also tried to slink under the table. He was trying very hard to look as though he couldn't hear the voice that was making everybody's eardrums throb.

"-ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED. YOUR FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK. IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME." A ringing silence fell. The red envelope, which had dropped from Ron's hand, burst into flames and curled into ashes. Harry and Ron sat stunned as though a tidal wave had just passed over them.

A few people laughed, and gradually, a babble of talk broke out again. Huh, another difference from the movie because the letter was supposed to turn to Ginny and congratulate her for getting into Gryffindor, but that didn't happen. Alright, so this is why I can't try to change anything. As far as I can tell, everything should end the same, but the journey there is something I have no clue about it. I am not familiar with it, and any disruption could steer things wildly, of course. Don't make any big changes, but little things should be fine.

Hermione closed Voyages with Vampires and looked down at the top of Ron's head. "Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you -"

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Don't tell me I deserved it," snapped Ron. Harry pushed his porridge away, and it was easy to see what he was feeling by the disturbed look upon his face. He looked like his insides were burning with guilt. After all, it is partly his fault that Mr Weasley was facing an inquiry at work. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had taken him in and done a lot for him over the summer, and this is how he thanked them.

Everybody quickly forgot about this incident as Professor McGonagall started moving along the Gryffindor table, handing out course schedules. The other heads of houses were also doing this, except Snape, who was nowhere to be found. I bet he did his house yesterday or this morning in the Slytherin common room. I gave the golden trio one last glance, and they seemed to have forgotten about the Howler. At least the Howler had done one good thing for them, as Hermione seemed to think they had now been punished enough and was being perfectly friendly with them again.

Anyway, with everybody getting absorbed in checking out their schedules, I decided to go get some fresh air. Even though I was quite far away from the Howler, it still kind of hurt my ears, and I needed to get out of the hall, which was full of chattering children. So, I got up and left the hall, and then made the decision to just go left and start walking.

I left the castle, and then, outside, I spotted the greenhouses in the distance, and I assumed there would be no one around, and I don't like walking without a destination. That just seems pointless to me. So I crossed the vegetable patch and made for the greenhouses, where the magical plants were kept, if I remember correctly. I stopped halfway when I saw the Whopping Willow in the distance, and I decided to go take a look.

It was the topic of current conversation right now, what with the blue Ford Angli crashing into the thing. The tree is, at the very least, a thousand years old and very valuable, according to Snape. I mean, yeah, it is old, and that should be protected or whatever. But in what way is it valuable? It's just a big branchy thing that attacks people. Can you make wands out of it's wood? Or is it used in potions or something? Let's go check it out.

Walking through the grass, I spot a portly, squat woman there, looking at the tree herself. Given the green robes, the brown boots and gloves and the witch's hat on her head, I could tell who this was. But why was she here?

"Professor Sprout? What are you doing here so early in the morning?" I ask, walking up to her. She jumps a little at the sound of my voice but calms down when she turns around to see me.

"Oh, Gilderoy. It's just you. You gave me a fright." She holds a hand to her chest as she breathes a sigh of relief, smiling and waving her hand at me.

"My apologies. Now, what's all of this for." I say, gesturing to all the supplies on the floor. There were a few bottles of some kind of potion and a lot of bandages, so I was very curious what it was all for.

"Ah, well, this is for the Whomping Willow. Those idiotic boys crashed into the poor thing, and now it's damaged, so I am here to patch it up. And then, in a few months, it will be back to full strength, like it never happened." She says with an angry look on her face. I have to say, she doesn't suit it. I don't think I have ever seen her angry before, but I guess she is different when it comes to plants. She is the Herbology teacher.

"Is that so?" I say, looking up at the thing. Its huge branches are still swaying around as if on alert, and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. It doesn't look at all damaged to me, but I am not an expert, so maybe it is. In my opinion, something like this shouldn't be so close to a school and should be removed, or at the very least cordoned off. A fence, maybe.

"Yes, now be a dear and stop distracting me. I have a class soon, so I need to get this done now." She says, waving me away. And so I nod my head at her. However, I am interested, so I decided to watch. I move beside her, wanting to get a good spot to watch her work, but...

"No! Get down!" Professor Sprout shouts and tries to grab ahold of me. However, with all my training, my reaction speed is far above hers, and I am already jumping backwards, Professor Sprout tumbling after me, still holding onto me and falling to the ground. WHOOSH.

And just in time, too, because a massive spindly branch just swung through the air in front of us. We just missed it, but if that were to hit us, I would have a lot of broken bones, and Professor Sprout would probably be dead. Seeing the aforementioned Professor lying on the ground, I quickly kneel down and help her up.

"Why did it attack? I just stood next to you. You were there, and it wasn't bothered." I ask, confused as to why the blasted tree decided to attack. All I did was move a bit closer. I was still a good at least ten meters away from the bloody thing.

"Because it is hurt, it is defensive right now. And I have been looking after it for years, so it trusts me, but it doesn't trust you. Agh." Pomono says, moaning at the end as she clutches her hand.

"Are you alright? Should I help you to Poppy?" It seems she landed on her hand wrong, and now she is having trouble lifting it up. It seems to be fine when she leaves it by her side.

"No, I am not alright, but I also don't have time to go to Poppy. I have class soon, and I will be darned if I am missing my first lesson of the year. It seems I will have to leave treating the Willow to another time. I just hope it doesn't deteriorate further." She says, a downcast look on her face as she glances at the tree. I feel kind of bad because she isn't even blaming me, and now she can't treat the tree and will have to teach class with a hurt hand.

"I can help you do it if that is possible." Wow, that just came out. Damn, I thought I was a selfish guy, and I am, but I guess I am not all gone. Pomona Sprout is about the furthest away you can get from attractive to me, and yet I am still trying to help her. I guess I am not fully self-invested. Still, is it selfish to help someone just so you can stop feeling bad?

"Hm. Alright, but listen to my exact instructions." She says after a second of hesitation, but she clearly cares about the Willow, so she will take my help. She quickly explains what is going to happen, and I nod along. It isn't actually anything that hard since this is her profession. I am just a tool right now.

She uses a spell with her good hand to calm the tree into a docile state so we can move forward and then brings each of its branches towards me. From there, it is pretty simple. I just have to douse the branches in whatever potion this is and then wrap them up in bandages, which I do using my wand. By the end, the tree looks mummified, with several of its branches in slings so it can recover. With that done, I pack all of the supplies away into the crate they came in and then pick it up, walking with Pomono so I can put it away for her.

"Are you sure you can teach like that? We can go visit Poppy quickly." I ask her on the way. But she shakes her head.

"Don't have time for that, dearie. I have children to teach. Herbology is practical, hands-on work, so I won't be able to do my demonstrations properly. I just hope they will listen properly... Actually, do you have a class to teach?" She explained and then asked me that. I look confusedly at her but then reply.

"No, not for a few hours." My schedule actually isn't as hectic as I thought it would be. With each year split into two halves for taking classes and seven years, that means I have fourteen classes to teach a week. With each lesson being around an hour, with a few exceptions for the upper years, I am spending about fifteen hours a week teaching. I will do the marking and stuff in my own time, but other than that and lesson plans, I am quite free.

"Good. Then you can come and help out with my class. Do the demonstrations for the class and be my hands for the next hour." I am unable to say anything to that as she quickens her pace, and I have to hurry to keep up with her. She is fast for a fat old lady. I guess I am going to be a Herbology assistant for a bit.

As we neared the greenhouses, I saw the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout. It seemed we would be teaching the second years as Harry, Ron, and Hermione had only just joined them when we came striding into view across the lawn. I watched as Harry spotted the things in my arms, and then he looked into the distance, no doubt at the Whomping Willow with several of its branches now in slings. He looked very upset at that.

"Oh, hello there!" I called out, beaming around at the assembled students. "Just been helping Professor Sprout to treat the Whomping Willow! I must say, as experienced as I am with magical plants, having encountered some on my adventures, my knowledge pales in comparison to hers! You are truly lucky to have such a great Herbology teacher." I am really trying to sell the good guy image, plus it doesn't hurt to make friends, and given the way Pomona smile at me, that is what we are. Huh, it is a bit weird to interact with someone without trying to benefit from them somehow or get into their pants.

"Greenhouse three today, chaps! Also, due to a little incident while treating the Whomping Willow, I won't be able to assist properly. Thankfully. Professor Gilderoy has volunteered to help, so he will be joining us for the lesson." Said Professor Sprout, who was looking quite cheery given that she had a hurt hand. I guess I am in her good books. I could see Harry looking at her hand and then feeling even worse. Meanwhile, Ron didn't even click on to it. The emotional range of a teaspoon, indeed.

There was a murmur of interest from all of the students, with a large portion of the female students giggling and swooning. I am sure I won't be getting tired of that anytime soon, I thought sarcastically to myself. I will enjoy it with the upper years, though, since there is an actual possibility with them.

Pomono quickly took off, and so I followed, still holding the supplies. We stopped at a shed, and she directed me to put them inside before we continued on our way. When we arrived, I looked inside, and I found it very intriguing. Greenhouse three housed far more interesting and dangerous plants than the ones out in the gardens. Professor Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. I caught a whiff of damp earth and fertiliser mingling with the heavy perfume of some giant, umbrella-sized flowers dangling from the ceiling.

Professor Sprout moved to stand behind a trestle bench in the centre of the greenhouse, and I moved to stand beside her. About twenty pairs of different-coloured earmuffs were lying on the bench, and I had an inkling of what was going to happen.

When all of the students had taken their places, Pomon gathered their attention and said, "We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?"

To nobody's surprise, Hermione's hand was first into the air.