Chapter 5.1: No, not my xobx!!

Hello World, if you are reading this that means my transmission got successfully sent to another Earth similar to mine……

It has been a while since I last sent my transmission (and yes, a bunch of stuff happened, and I’m not making stuff up as some form of excuse to not send transmissions daily!!!).

OK, to get back to what happened from last time, I will need to go back in time to when we last talked about, so listen up:

I learned from a female Ape with the special ability Spirit Eyes, who the person (well, Ape in that case) that was mind-controlling them was. So, all I needed to do was to defeat that Ape and everything would be fantastic, is that what you think? Think again. Defeating him was NOT EASY. There, I’ll admit it, EVEN THOUGH I’m most likely THE MOST OP character (real-life person) you’ll ever see, I couldn’t easily defeat him.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO SEND THIS TRANSMISSION TO YOU? ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? CHECK THE DATE I SENT THIS TRANSMISSION TO YOU AND THE DATE I SENT THE PREVIOUS ONE? HOW LONG WAS THAT? YOU…..TELL ME?

So, short story short, I had the best idea in this whole wide world, I needed to get revenge (jealousy fight!!) on that Ape for destroying and wreaking havoc in my neighborhood (mostly for sitting there and acting all high and mighty and letting his lackeys do all the work, WHICH IS WHAT I WANT TO DO, DAMN IT, how come the good people that just want to be lazy has to work hard and the bad ones get to be lazy? Life is just unfair sometimes….).

So, I needed to use all my powers, to use all my powers simultaneously and take that (DAMN STUPID FREAKING APE DOWN, FEEL ME?) and show that Ape who the real BOSS is. But unfortunately, life took a turn for the worse. Of course it did.

(HAVE YOU EVER TRIED REALLY HARD AT SOMETHING, AND YOU DID YOUR REAL BEST (NO, SERIOUSLY, YOUR REAL BEST THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO) AND THEN SOME RANDOM PERSON (IN CLASS) POINTS OUT SOMETHING YOU MISSED AND YOU ARE LIKE: OMG!! HOW DID I MISS THAT???!! And you ended up looking really bad and embarrassed in front of everyone??) Well…..that’s what kind of happened to me…..Let me explain my excuse that I came up with this time…No, I mean, let me explain what I came up with…..

(wait…a minute…..usually I am not so bad at lying…….((How come I am stuttering and making those basic mistakes)……..Did you perhaps….while I was gone…..did you suddenly gained a new ability…….Is that what’s going up??? Well, guess what? WHO DO YOU THINK HAVE A POWER UP THAT CAN BOOST POWER UP TO 5000?? Yeah, that’s right…. It’s me. Now, I like the way you are looking at me. That’s what I call respect right there……Now, you know your place……

Life can be such a hassle. (By can I mean always is). (By hassle I mean a real torture). But I always dealt with life the same way I usually deal with most things in my life until now:

Life: Hey, want to go watch a movie this Saturday?

ME: Oh, yeah sure, I would love to

*Giggle inside like a little boy getting asked out by a hot girl!!

Life: Oh, by the way the movie is about you… just thought you should know

ME: Um…..Okay……it’s kind of creepy the way you put it, but ok (what do I know? You are Hot, I would do anything for you!!)

Saturday arrives:

ME: What is this pain??

LIFE: It’s the start of the movie

ME: What??!!

Life: Yeah, your movie

ME: I am feeling sick

Life: Just the beginning, baby, trust me, the good part didn’t even start yet

ME: What about the date (and starts to throw up)

Life: the kissing part is about to start!!! XD

ME: What??!! Kissing!! We are going to kiss

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Life: Yeah sure!!

ME: Oh, let me get ready

Life: ….

ME: All ready!!

A bee stung me in the lips!! (had to go to hospital)

ME: I feel so terrible

Life: the good part is about to start

ME: Go away

Life: Oh, trust me, I will…..soon

DOCTOR: We managed to fix your lips, but you are going to have diarrhea for a few days

ME: (looks at doctor and smiles at him with a creepy smile) U said what?

DOCTOR: (Hesitates as a sweat fall off his cheeks) No, nothing…

Me: I see, I’ll be leaving then

DOCTOR: Ok

Life: XD

ME: (Gives Life one menacing facial expression)

Life: Um, I think that was enough messing with your life for one day

ME: (Gives Life an even more menacing look)

Life: The finale is about to start

ME: (Goes home and start playing Xobx)

Life: The finale!!

ME: (Continues playing Xobx with headphones at highest volume)

Life: Don’t ignore me, baby

ME: (Still playing Xobx)

Life: Why are you being so mean?? (Starts crying in a corner and is all gloomy)

ME: (Puts headphone down and look in life’s direction)

Life: (Still crying and tears falling)

ME: (Falls inadvertently in love with Life again)

Life: (Crying really cute)

ME: (Resist, resist, resists, resists, resists, resists)

Life: Please stop ignoring me (and looks at me with cute puppy green eyes)

ME: (Stay Strong, young Gaderlaaskie, stay strong young Gaderlaaskie, stay strong…)

Life: Will you give me some candy and hug/spoil me?

ME: (It’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s trap, it’s trap)

Life: Please (and looks at me with those cute green puppy eyes and I fall even more helplessly in

love)

ME: Ok, fine (gets up and go to the kitchen)

Life: (gets up and goes next to where I was sitting)

ME: (Hears something getting smashed and destroyed) (Hurries to check what it was)

Life: Got ya

ME: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Life: YESSSSSSS

ME: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Life: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ME: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Life: I’m outta here!! I did what I came here to do!! See you next year, lol

ME: (Hurries to the smash pieces of Xobx) my treasure, my beautiful treasure, I can’t, I can’t live without you, stay with me, stay with me, be strong, be strong young one, be strong, the ambulance is on their way, you going to make it

AMBULANCE: There’s nothing that can be done. We are sorry for your Xobx

ME: (In complete emotional breakdown) My life is ruined…..Why?

In the distance, on top of a building in the dark of night

Life: Hehehehehe, I’ll be back, trust me, I’ll be back, hehehehehe

And that was my monologue of what truly transpired from the time of the previous transmission to right now (present time). I’ll explain everything on my next transmission, so yeah, some deep stuff happened (the passing of my Xobx) the town got wrecked (the passing of my Xobx is obviously more important), People are scared (Without my Xobx, I’m scared too), A lot of people suffered injuries from the Apes’ attacks (I did too, my beautiful Xobx!!)

ME: (Finds a random whole in the ground and jump inside. Please someone bury me, I don’t want to see the light of the day without my Xobx!!) 

I will always remember those good times, Xobx!!! YOUR PRESENCE SHALL BE MISSED!!! (as well as for the people who left the town, but that’s a story for a later time)