Xaxac found that he could not count any more than he could see clearly. The four to six images of the two needles he was trying to work with were dancing in his vision and watching them was making him sick to his unusually full stomach, so he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them.
It worked for a second, but then the images began to dance again. So he closed his eyes and tried to count by feeling alone, to see if he had cast on the correct number of stitches for his baby blanket. But he quickly found that couldn’t really feel his fingers, or most of the rest of his body, and that attempt was not particularly fruitful.
He stabbed the needles into the bag of yarn and picked up the hat he had cast off, thinking that perhaps he could finish it. He managed to fold the two sides reasonably well, but when he leaned forward to dig the darning needle out of the bag he realized he had made a huge mistake as the world spun around him, the table came up with more force than an inanimate object had any right using and smacked him so hard in the face it knocked him off the couch and he went spiraling onto the carpet where he landed face first.
It did nothing to help his stomach and he was terrified he would throw up, but there was no way he was going to make it to the water closet.
“Aw hell,” Lorsan said, and though Xaxac was sure it was Lorry’s voice, he could not, with any accuracy, determine the direction from which it had come.
“Lorry?” he asked, then began to beg, “Lorry, please I drank… lotta whiskey… can you… help me? I… I’m sick.”
“Thesis’s glowing eyes,” Lorsan said, and Xaxac felt the world float around him as he somehow magically made his way to his feet. He leaned heavily into the person who had picked him up and recognized the warm body there; he felt the comfort of Agalon’s embrace, of the way his blood flowed under his clothes, of his body heat, and buried his face in his shoulder where he felt the tickling of his long, blond hair.
“Thanks, Aggie,” he said, “I love you.”
“Don’t like that,” Lorsan said as he half drug Xaxac through the sitting room, into the bedroom, and threw open the water closet to help him inside, “Don’t never call me that again. It’s freaky. I don’t like it.”
“Sorry,” Xaxac said, but he could not keep himself steady on his feet with the world moving around him as it was, and his stomach finally gave out as he held his head over the toilet. He thought for all the world he was going to fall into it, but his head was stopped by a sharp, intense pain, as if someone was pulling all of his hair at once.
“There you go,” Lorsan said as he held Xac’s hair back, “Get it all out. The fuck happened to you? Thought you went with daddy.”
“I’m good,” Xaxac said, so Lorsan, though he did not believe him, let him go so he could rest his burning face on the cool metal of the seat.
“You super ain’t good,” Lorsan said. “Want me to get Lee?”
“No,” Xaxac lamented and thought he may start to cry, “Lee’s mad at me on account of I made Billy punch me in my face!”
“Billy,” Lorsan said as if trying to put a name to a face, “Billy the Bull? You went out to train the fighters… Did Billy the Bull punch you in your face?”
“I called him stupid,” Xaxac tried to explain, and Lorsan seemed to be the first person who understood instantly.
“That. Is. Hilarious.” He said, punctuating each word as if it was its own sentence. “That’s great. He is stupid, even by human standards. I guess it ain’t his fault though. Folks in his position can’t exactly put a lot of emphasis on intellect. You ok? You gonna throw up some more?”
“I don’t think so,” Xaxac said, “I can’t feel my body.”
“Yeah,” Lorsan agreed as he threw a washrag into the sink and pumped water over it, “You are plumb shitfaced.”
“I think I’m dying,” Xaxac told him, “Lord I hope not, Aggie’ll be pissed.”
“Just sit there and try real hard not to,” Lorsan advised as he wrang out the rag then moved its cool, soothing surface over Xac’s hot face.
“Noooo,” Xaxac lamented and tried to bat him away, but Lorsan, like everything else, was less solid than he should be, and found in multiple copies so that he didn’t know which one to swipe at, “My makeup.”
“Shut up, Xac,” Lorsan said, not as if he was angry, but as if he was giving advice. “Hey, when Billy hit you, did it leave a bruise?”
“Yeah,” Xaxac said to the rag.
“When was that? Actually, you’re not gonna know that. I don’t know why I asked that. My point is, it’s healed now.”
“Good,” Xac said, “It was ugly.”
“Xaxac?” Agalon called out, “You here, Honey Bunny?”
“In the water closet!” Lorsan yelled back, “He says he’s dying!”
“This way,” Agalon said to someone else, and quickly stepped into the bedroom followed by a man that Lorsan recognized, though Xaxac did not.
“Oh, Lorsan,” the man, who was an earth elf in a traveling cloak holding a large bag, but who had no distinguishing features because he would not stop dancing and blurring long enough for Xaxac to register them, said in a kind voice, “It’s nice to see you again, youngun, it’s been a while.”
“I been at school,” Lorsan said.
“Your daddy says you’re thinkin about goin into veterinary medicine,” the man said, “Now you know I’d intern you in a heartbeat. You takin care of that human?”
“I can’t stand to see a critter hurt,” Lorsan smiled, brushed a strand of his hair behind his ear, and motioned at Xaxac, “I think he got hit in the face and tried to self-medicate with whiskey and went overboard, but I ain’t sure on account of I wouldn’t there and he ain’t makin a lot of sense.”
“That’s the shifter?” the vet asked Agalon.
“Yes,” Agalon said proudly as he shoved past Lorsan, knocking him into the bedroom, to help Xaxac to his feet.
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“I wanna rinse my mouth out,” Xaxac begged.
“Alright, Honey Bunny, put your hands under the spout,” Agalon advised, and Xac obeyed him. Agalon pumped the water into his hands and Xaxac brought it to his lips, sucked it in, swished it around, and spat the mixture of water and bile into the sink.
“There you go, darlin,” Agalon praised, “Can you make it to the bed or do I need to carry you?”
“I…” Xac considered, then began to cry, “I can’t walk. I’m sorry, master! When I try to walk, I fall! I ain’t used to whiskey! I really like it but it makes me stupid!”
“That’s alright darlin,” Agalon said, and Xaxac clung to him as the world moved again and he found himself floating in his master’s arms.
“Are you gonna fuck me?” Xaxac asked in confusion, “I know I look bad but people kept puttin water on my face! Do you still love me?”
“Of course I still love you,” Agalon promised, “You’re just hurt and drunk. I’m gonna set you on the bed and the doctor is gonna look at you.”
“How much has he had to drink?” the vet asked, “A human that small probably ain’t got a good tolerance.”
“To be fair to my butler,” Agalon said as he adjusted Xaxac on the bed, “He probably was hurtin pretty bad. I was scared his jaw was broke. Look at this.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cracked, damaged tooth. The vet took it and stared at it with his brow furrowed in confusion. After what seemed like an eternity he spoke.
“This tooth come out of that boy?” he asked.
“Knocked it slick out,” Agalon shook as he spoke, and his voice pitched a little higher than it should have.
“Kai, this ain’t… this ain’t a human tooth. Unless there’s somethin real bad wrong with him that I ain’t never seen before. See the bottom here? Where it’s all cracked and broken? That ain’t what happens when somebody knocks a tooth out. It shoulda come out of the socket, should have roots attached to it. And it should be way thicker, this here is so thin… the enamel is wore clean off the back… if this was a human tooth, the nerve’d be exposed.”
“You found my tooth!” Xaxac clapped, “Neat!”
“What’s it look like, then?” Lorsan asked, “Can I see it?”
The vet handed it to him and moved towards the bed.
“Well goddamn,” Lorsan said, “It’s a rabbit tooth.”
“Good guess,” Agalon huffed.
“Right,” Lorsan narrowed his eyes at him, “Don’t be a dick, daddy, it is a rabbit tooth. Did you just not believe me when I said I wanted to be a vet? Rabbits ain’t got teeth like primates, they constantly wear down the enamel and the teeth just keep growin. If they ain’t got somethin to chew on they’ll grow right into their eyes. It’s gross. Eyes all poppin out a sockets. It’s a big problem with livestock.”
“He’s right,” the vet said proudly, “That boy’s got a good head on his shoulders.”
“My eyes are gonna pop out?” Xaxac asked as the vet dug around in his bag and eventually produced a headband with a mirror on it, to reflect the light he would need to see inside Xaxac’s mouth.
“No, darlin, you ain’t a rabbit,” he assured him, “open as wide as you can for me-”
He stopped speaking to take in the sight before him.
“This is the shifter,” he said, as if in awe of what he was looking at, “Holy hell… Kai… where’d you find… well, there’s the problem area right there but whoever healed him did a good job. It was broke, but it’s fixed itself and whoever set it set it perfect. Probably won’t even have no pain. If I didn’t know what I was lookin for I wouldn’t see it. But his teeth…”
He sucked in a huge breath between his teeth and stood to his full height.
“I am unfamiliar with the kinda thing I’m lookin at,” he admitted, “They’re all arranged like a primate, right where they oughta be, but they’re rooted like a rabbit and shaped… I don’t know, just weird. Looks like a birth defect? The one he knocked out has already grew up to the top of the socket. And they’re just gonna keep growin. Lorry’s right, better make sure he’s got somethin to chew on all the time. He’s gotta keep um wore down. I don’t… I don’t know what I’m lookin at.”
“But he’s alright?” Agalon asked.
“You said ‘whoever healed him’,” Lorsan said, “But I don’t rightly know that anybody healed him. Did you heal him, daddy?”
“No,” Agalon admitted, “he said he wouldn’t hurtin.”
“Well, he’s healed,” the vet shrugged, “I wouldn’t give him no potions or nothin, he don’t need it. It’d be a waste of ingredients. They ain’t givin that fairy dust away.”
“I heal real fast,” Xaxac said proudly, “but does it look ok? I wanna be cute! I don’t want it to be ugly!”
“It looks fine,” the vet said, “No swelling, no bruising, couldn’t really tell it was ever broke if I hadn’t knowed what to look for.” He paused, tilting Xaxac’s face and said, almost in disbelief, “Nobody healed him?”
“I didn’t,” Agalon said, “Lorry?”
Lorsan shook his head and stuck the tooth in his pocket.
“I ain’t never seen nothin like this,” the vet said as he dug around in his bag and pulled out a strange looking contraption; it had two pieces which he stuck in his ears, and a long tail that terminated in some sort of metal, which he stuck on Xaxac’s chest. “I wanna study on this a minute.”
“Go ahead,” Agalon said.
“You nervous?” The vet asked Xaxac, and he shrugged.
“I don’t really get nervous when I’m drunk,” he explained chipperly, “I love being drunk. Can I lay down?”
“Not for a minute,” the vet said, “His heart’s… well it’s too quick for a human, too slow for a rabbit. Does he metabolize stuff quick? Seems like how fast his blood flows he would.”
“Yes,” Agalon said, “Give him a minute and he won’t be drunk anymore.”
The vet pulled out another contraption, this one a small, closed tube covered in numbers, and stuck it in Xaxac’s mouth.
“Here,” he said, “you hold that under your tongue.” then he picked up Xaxac’s arm and squeezed it. “Damn that is… coiled tight. Relax your arm. I said, ‘relax your arm’.”
“With all due respect,” Lorsan said as he took in the look of confusion on Xac’s face, “He can barely hold his head up. That’s as relaxed as he’s gonna get.”
The vet took the device out of Xac’s mouth and said, “Got a little bit of a temperature… but I didn’t see no infection. He looks good. I’m gonna do a full exam, though, Kai, you really oughta had this done before you use any pleasure slave. You know humans can pass diseases on to elves. I know you know that. I know you work on elves, come on.”
“Eh,” Agalon said dismissively, “He’s fine. He looks fine. I checked him out.”
“You ain’t a vet,” The vet said.
“You ain’t even a doctor,” Lorsan said, “You were a medic. A medic’s job is to keep folks alive until they can get to a doctor.”
“Or to keep um comfortable while they die,” Agalon said as if it was an argument.
“Can you get these clothes off?” The vet asked Xaxac, so he made the best attempt he could.
The buttons were so slippery and small, and he still couldn’t feel his fingers very well, so he was forced to admit defeat. He didn’t want to tell this man, who seemed important, that he couldn’t accomplish such a simple task, so he hung his head and looked away.
“Here, Honey Bunny, I got it,” Agalon promised as he stepped in to undress him.
“Do you reckon,” the vet asked carefully, “I could come and examine him while he’s shifted? When the moons are full?”
“Not till I get him trained,” Agalon said as he pulled off Xac’s shoes and tossed them to the side, then began working on his pants, “Right now he tends to get ornery with folks. But I’ll get that trained out of him.”
“I’m sorry,” Xac said with great sincerity, “I can’t help it. I don’t remember it.”