Remaining focused on the subject of her meditation was a bit more difficult than she previously anticipated, as ambiguous topics appeared too ineffective. At least the activation of the Skill had been stunningly easy.
And as much as Malwine wanted to multitask raising attributes with cultivation, the couple attempts she tried to get rolling were…off. They didn't actually feel dishonest, but she really couldn't think of any other way to describe it. Ever since concluding she had to truly mean it for anything to work, every part of her experience seemed to abide by that.
She somehow knew it wasn't about the chance of receiving extra attributes being small in the first place, no. Pondering the raising of an attribute, just for the sake of raising an attribute, was almost aggressively unsatisfactory. There had to be at least some minimal depth to it.
Reaping benefits from this Skill was still infinitely easier for Malwine than the whole clear-your-mind version of meditation, however.
[Integrity] 513 → 529
[Toll] 4 → 0
Its effects on [Integrity] and [Toll] were by far the most palpable, seemingly disconnected from whether or not she achieved anything on the session. Very on-brand for the system so far.
A part of Malwine was somewhat worried, however. What happens if I half-ass something? Do Skills just start failing? Life always came with situations in which you had to do things you didn't necessarily want to do, but still had to. If this was how things were going to work, that could spell bad news.
She shivered. Having to adapt to a new world was one thing, but being expected to develop better work ethic? That was terrifying! Oh, who am I kidding, responsibility's inevitable. Malwine wanted to think she could push herself to perform any task if she really had to, but her views on herself were complicated.
There was a phrase she vaguely remembered, something about how even things you forgot you did could have been life-changing for somebody else, how you could have made a massive impact on somebody else without remembering or even having known it.
Malwine wondered what she'd done in her own past life, that made her confidence on herself as a capable person coexist with this primal distrust of herself following things through.
[Cool Head on Your Shoulders] helped her center herself, but it was becoming increasingly clear that it only helped her rein turmoil in after it had started. It did nothing to prevent negative emotions or even the occasional intrusive thought—and so, spiraling into the occasional crisis of confidence remained inevitable.
With a sigh, she checked the [Recently Exited Stasis] buff. 2 hours…
She'd cleared her [Toll] and gotten some sixteen points back on her [Integrity], sure, but she was close to complaining about how unproductive these past couple hours had been. Wow, I'm growing spoiled. Still, the idea of just taking her time bothered her. [Unpacifiable] remained somewhat hushed in the background of her mind, not giving her any reasons for immediate panic.
Malwine didn't want to be at ease. It was almost a ridiculous stance to hold. In less than half a day, she'd gotten plenty done. But with the buff keeping her from even growing tired, the combination of having limited space as well as limited things to do irked her.
And so began her twenty-first—twenty-second?—attempt at cultivating. Don't overthink it…
This time, Malwine tried to imagine herself on a beach while pondering about mana. She hazily recalled some of those guided mediation things that never worked always having coastal-type soundtracks with the crashing of waves thrown in. Maybe those DVD people had been onto something.
Do I just start assigning variables or however that's called? Malwine wondered. Maybe she was sitting in the lotus position next to the water in this imaginary beach, and the mana she needed to cultivate with was the ebbing of the tide…The waters, she couldn't quite touch.
The sand had to be wet, of course, because even inside her mind she didn't want to deal with actual dry sand. Her figure was thin, olive-skinned, and in possession of only the bare minimum amount of flexibility to strike such a pose—a middle-aged version of the widow. Pretending the sun was too bright for her to get a good view of anything else saved her some effort, plus it gave her an excuse for why this imaginary version of herself would close her eyes and start meditating.
Imagining the noise was somewhat harder. She thought of rippling and splashing, the to and fro of waves, but if she focused too much on it, it tore her immersion to shreds. Even in her own thoughts, she found herself unable to replicate that to a satisfying degree, so she pushed it to the background.
The [Meditation] Skill didn't mention anything on the subject, so it struck Malwine as quite strange, but the scene's clarity was superb. Cultivation thing?
Malwine didn't dwell too much upon the specifics, instead focusing on the waves themselves. She reached for them, trying to touch the refreshing waters she could almost feel. She envisioned their power, remembering the thrill of channeling mana for [Write Anywhere], minuscule as the amount channeled seemed in hindsight.
Slowly, the scene dimmed, leaving only Malwine's senses and something just within her grasp. She pulled, and her hands tingled in anticipation. Aware of where she had to push her thoughts to make {Legacy} come to her, she thought of some assorted discoveries and the sharing of them.
Everyone needed context for anything they wanted to understand, at least in some ways. More than once, the older version of Malwine had found herself making a breakthrough on her research, such as finally connecting a family with their origins abroad, only to remember she had to ease her audience into the subject when publishing the facts. To her, it made perfect sense to simply say she figured out the connection of an immigrant to the town of their birth, and she'd be overjoyed to learn the life and further origin of their ancestors were astoundingly easy to track.
But others might have no idea who the hypothetical immigrant even was, let alone care for their newly discovered ancestors. If she was to make the information comprehensible, she had to figure out how to explain that first, in a way that would be palatable even to someone completely unfamiliar with the subject, should they happen to read her work.
Malwine didn't quite understand cultivation beyond broad strokes, didn't know anything about how this particular variant even functioned. What she would have dared say she understood enough of was {Legacy}. The widow, for all her accolades, wouldn't have come even close to absolute dominion of the subject, and neither would Malwine—something that broad wasn't meant to be embodied by anyone.
Still, the vanishing waves sparked the thought. Not standing at the edge of the coast didn't mean the scene wouldn't play out—you just wouldn't see it, wouldn't be focused on it. Even gone, the widow had left her mark, had become the one who was now Malwine. Changed, by her own conclusions. {Legacy} could be a part of her, always there, merely waiting to be summoned.
She had merely lacked the context that would make this make sense to her.
Her form shook, both the visualized widow and the real Malwine. Her choice of mana circulated without aim, answering Malwine's call. She felt it on her wrists, moving through her instead of going to any Skill. It made her flinch, the sensation somehow tickling her from the inside. It flowed through veins that weren't veins, almost a previously unknown part of her physical form.
By when it reached her tiny elbows, it took Malwine active effort to not resist it—it was too new a sensation. Only [Unpacifiable]'s silence convinced her to let it keep happening. It felt as though everywhere it touched were growing lighter, almost itchy. She gasped when it started climbing up her neck, but was soon distracted by how it burst behind her sternum.
It was a force beyond words, a crystalline shade of pale citrine settling on the spot where her nascent core would fit, a single tiny root of the same shade low in its center. The crystal dissolved to vapor, sinking into the root, before a bubble-like energy surrounded the now-floating root.
The [Mediation] broke off abruptly, and Malwine stared into the darkness above her in utter confusion.
[Integrity] 529 → 611
[Toll] 0 → 17
Your [Meditation] Skill has improved! 0 → 3
Your Acclimation to {Legacy} has grown! 0 → 2
Your Control of {Legacy} has improved! 1 → 5
Your core has advanced to the Final Stage of the Early Esse.
You have reached Level 35 [Banked levels: 15]!
Malwine steadied her breath, only now aware that she was panting, and that it was annoyingly taxing to pant as an infant. She felt too small for anything, let alone the weight that now warmed her chest.
Did I just fuck up? Oh, no.
But the pressure eased, slowly. She took deep breaths, resolving to stay calm as [Cool Head on Your Shoulders] backed her up. She frankly had no idea what she'd just done, but something told her, it probably had something to do with the fact that she was, truly, beyond her current form.
It wasn't even something she thought out of arrogance, just realism. The fact that her image within that imaginary meditating spot of hers had been a younger version of her past self told her as much.
That didn't change the fact that this might be a problem. Malwine hadn't exactly minded levels before. She could hide them, after all. [Reveal Nothing] should cover her ass, but did increasing the overall stage itself carry any consequences? Please don't do anything dumb like extending my life from this point onward, no no no no.
She hadn't expected to jump several—five?—ranks in one session. On the other hand, her accrual of [Toll] had seriously overcome the effects of [Mediation] itself, so perhaps progressing at this rate wouldn't be sustainable. At least she'd confirmed the Early Esse had a final stage rather than going on indefinitely. Surely it would be the same for future stages? Her curiosity warred with the part of her that told her pushing that too hard at her current age would be unwise.
Come on, Malwine, you already learned enough about it…the rest can wait…
Malwine still took a few moments to try and look inwards again. Not through [Mediation], but just by setting her…not-gaze to the core she'd felt. It remained as it had been when her core stage improved, an iridescent bubble with strong overlays of light yellow, surrounding the citrine rootling of {Legacy}. It was…interesting, if a bit bizarre. Poking her own chest, she felt nothing, but she could almost hear the core rumble.
I think that's enough cultivation for a day…week?
She'd have to actively suppress the urge to retry any of this too soon. Perhaps even until she grew older. Or maybe just for a week or two. Malwine was patient enough to wait a week or two, definitely.
Desperate for something else to do, she opened her attributes panel. Her new 2500 unassigned points had her frowning with her inability to spend them evenly. I should just wait til they're 3k again…
Malwine wasn't quite ready to strategize over the distribution of her attributes, so keeping them balanced if only to slowly mitigate the curse-given penalty felt like the safest choice.
Then again, Resilience being at 1620 while there are others at 1370 ruins things…
And so, though bemoaning it all the way through, Malwine assigned the points.
[Integrity]
611 / 984
[Toll]
0 / 1618
Strength
1600 (-99%)
Speed
1600 (-99%)
Endurance
1600 (-99%)
Dexterity
1600 (-99%)
Stamina
1600 (-99%)
Resilience
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1620 (-99%)
Perception
1600 (-99%)
Charisma
1600 (-99%)
Adaptation
1600 (-99%)
Luck
1600 (-99%)
Circulation
1600 (-99%)
Presence
1600 (-99%)
…
[Integrity]
611 / 984
[Toll]
0 / 34
Strength
16
Speed
16
Endurance
16
Dexterity
16
Stamina
16
Resilience
16
Perception
16
Charisma
16
Adaptation
16
Luck
16
Circulation
16
Presence
16
Guess that's close enough to balanc—Wait, what? [Integrity] actually went up?
Malwine scrambled to look over all her recent notifications. She was still 18 months old according to her status, and the once-over she gave it confirmed her new core stage was responsible for 10 levels, as she'd calculated. If she had any frame of reference as to what a bottleneck might be, she'd even risk saying she might have hit one.
But what her reviewing suggested, with regards to [Integrity], was that if something was being added to it, the only option was Acclimation. That was, of course, assuming it was a direct addition like how Circulation added to [Toll]—though unlike Circulation, this seemed unaffected by the penalty. The curse's description explained approximately nothing, but so far, the only thing that appeared to be directly affected were her attributes themselves.
Mana Sources
Root
Acclimation
Control
Legacy ∞
2
5
Available
-
-
Available
-
-
Locked
-
-
Locked
-
-
Locked
-
-
Locked
-
-
Other Affinities: Foresight II
Another quick review confirmed as much, no penalties on her Mana Sources now that both numbers were past 0.
This all put Malwine in a bit of a conundrum—she wanted to try and increase Acclimation again to test her theory, but she didn't want to risk ranking up. She might be safe if she was right about having bottlenecked, but how could she know? With a heavy heart, she steered herself from the temptation of cultivating again.
Malwine rechecked her Status Effects, catching a glimpse of the buff just as she moved to view its remaining time, only for it to disappear.
Immediately, a new notification entered her field of vision.
(❗) Your guardian Beryl Rīsanin is incapacitated!
(❗) You lack a guardian!
Beryl Rīsanin's living will attests necessities relating her and her offspring are entrusted to Anselm Rīsan.
Oh. Nice, no child abandonment! …But who is that? Aside from obviously family?
Malwine looked around herself. She remained alone. "He-llo?"
Oh, this new voice is atrocious, I sound like a little kid, she complained to herself, even knowing the lack of familiarity with this new form was bound to cause issues. As well as the obvious. She repeated the word, suddenly finding the effort it took almost fascinating. Still, that didn't change the fact that there was no one around.
With a huff, Malwine laid back on her crib. Earth to Anselm, we have a problem. Earth to Anselm, do you copy? Nothing. Eh, it was worth a shot.
She poked the mysterious individual with [Once and Forever].
(❗) Error: Target living.
No shit, Malwine.
She poked above her target.
(❗) Error: Target living.
(❗) Error: Target too recently deceased (136 months).
Oh, an uncle? Hi uncle! Your niece needs attention!
Malwine laughed to herself. [Once and Forever] was borderline exploitable, though the requirement that she have a right to inherit from her targets likely curved that.
Still, no one showed up.
Well, it's a shame, I guess I have no choice at all but to meditate for Accli—A door creaked open somewhere, quite close. Seriously?
Malwine supposed this was her chance, bellowing out the most convincing "Waaa!" she could manage.
Footsteps approached, and a greenish light emerged, though Malwine couldn't quite pinpoint the source.
As two people closed in on her, towering over her, she cried some more and examined them.
The light came from a strange lantern held on the right hand of a feminine figure with light hair and eyes, both too swathed in the light for Malwine to identify their exact colors. Next to her was a taller person, of the sort she'd have compared to a fantasy elf were it not for the visible, round ears. Their eyes were darker, the hair color elusive but almost shimmering.
"There," the first one said, the voice indeed feminine. Malwine couldn't understand the word or words she spoke, and had to restrain herself from frowning. Of course it's a new language…
The other one moved closer with unsteady steps, their expression mirroring the scowl Malwine couldn't make as they gripped the edge of the crib—whether for balance or to get a better look, she didn't know. "She's 18 months old?"
"By the waves. What has Beryl been up to?"
"I haven't the faintest clue, but [Identify] confirms it. The name matches."
"Wait, masked two digits?"
"I've noticed the same…Indeed, just what are you doing out there, Beryl?"
Malwine had to guess the second one might be a guy. He also seemed close to pulling his long hair out. Not a great sign for her, so she pouted even more.
"Aw, she's crying. Quit staring, Anselm, you're scaring her!"
It was at this point that Malwine remembered she could [Identify] people.
[Expressed Reversal]
It took her a whopping four tries to get a result on the lady—Thekla—but only one try for Anselm…Perhaps just using [Identify] could have worked out, who'd suspect a little baby of firing off identification Traits anyway?
[Integrity] 611 → 586
Malwine did some internal grumbling at the costs. [Expressed Reversal] was a mistake...
Thekla Rīsanin - Human - Level ??
Buffs: [Painter's Haste]
Debuffs: [Transcendent Injury (Left Elbow)]
Anselm Rīsan - Human - Level ??
Hidden
…Huh? Malwine remembered the description of the Aspect called for results to not be masked if she was to get them, but it was a different thing to actually encounter such a thing this quickly.
Though seeing Thekla was dealing with something called a "transcendent injury" had Malwine wanting to raise her eyebrows. Unfortunately for her curiosity, poking the debuff didn't actually let her see the full thing unlike it did with her own. I guess privacy invasion draws the line at effect names.
Even unable to understand their back-and-forth, it turned out having other people around was strangely cathartic, and in no smart part because, in a way, it reminded her that other people could have problems too. She wouldn't be alone in her suffe—she wouldn't be alone in this world!
Revisiting their levels, Malwine pondered on what the limitations [Identify] had mentioned were. If she was interpreting the description right, she could see the level of anyone at or under Level 60. As far as she could tell, that detail didn't seem to be 'masked', and she could tell they had the same, higher core stage, just not what the stage was called. So it had to be that their level was too high for her ability.
Maybe I've been worrying over nothing.
"Seriously, how can an 18 month old be at the double digits?" Thekla was mumbling something, her expression bordering on being incredulous about something. Malwine had been trying to make some cute faces at her visitors, after all, so maybe it was working.
For his part, Anselm was muttering something suspiciously similar to "Grr, Beryl", getting Malwine a bit curious. Still, there was not much she could do to learn from comments she couldn't understand.
It was strange, but she was getting a bit giddy, enough that it took her a moment to determine what might be causing the fluttering in her chest. Family. She'd suspected from the name, but a quick check with [Once and Forever] confirmed Thekla was her aunt as well. Malwine tried to coo at them both, raising her arms, but neither had moved to pick her up yet. Were her clothes dirty or something? She'd looked them over and noticed no such flaw.
If only I could figure out whatever happened to that 'limited edition onesie'…Unless that's what I'm wearing?
Malwine glanced at the fabric that reached up to her wrists and was surprised to see a description show up without command.
✨Onesie✨
Creator uncredited
Self-cleaning, self-repairing, and self-shaping, this onesie is perfect for little ones who love getting into situations they very much should not be in.
"Thekla, is it an illusion of my faltering vision or is Beryl's kid staring daggers at her clothes?"
"What? Aw, maybe she needs to get changed? A bath? Seriously, leave this to me. You should get some rest. I told you, you're too tired. I still can't believe you even locked yourself in your own workshop."
"…Right. You sure you'll be okay?"
"Obviously! I practically raised Alaric, I'm experienced with this."
"That is not encouraging."
"Just go to sleep, brother."
Malwine simply resumed her cooing. Her aunt really looked like she might pick her up. And then she'd get to explore! She could finally see beyond the confines of this wooden prison! At last!
A loud squeaking noise all but echoed through the room, her aunt and uncle both turning to look back with wide eyes.
Four new figures joined their little group, and the real screaming match got started.