By virtue of silver being rare enough a metal under the waves, Malwine found herself winning that argument—she considered working iron into the bit at several points, but she was in too deep.
Certainly, the forester seemed to have his reservations about whether the facts were accurate, but as far as she could tell, he did believe Malwine had ‘learned’ this from a book. He also happened to have some strong opinions about that nonexistent book.
“You should always be mindful of the context behind what you read—who wrote it and why,” Veit told her. “Not all sources are equally reputable.”
“I'll keep an eye out,” Malwine nodded noncommittally. She didn't exactly have a way to verify the facts when it came to books in this world, so she had to acknowledge that could be a problem down the line—but for now, her priority was to ensure he didn't notice she was just making this up. “Speaking of the fell, on the last The Harvest, you mentioned something about this place having a history of fell presence?”
Veit seemed to consider this. “There is a history to this place, albeit one that is unclear to me. What I can guarantee is that this is a former territory of theirs—precisely because it is a territory recognized by the system. Try as they might, neither the Devils’ Kingdom nor its successor could replicate that. It's tied to how the fell view the world.”
“I take it there's a difference there, between regular spots and places the system recognizes?”
“Oh, yes. I have no doubt this place would have simply been annexed by a full settlement by now, otherwise. But it cannot be. I'm deeply curious as to how it ended up in your family's hands, because even if they got it as spoils of victory when the Champion Saint cast the fell in this area out, ownership of a territory simply cannot be transferred like that.”
Malwine found she cared less about how the estate seemingly sat in some system-recognized space, and more about the whole, ‘the Champion Saint cast the fell out’ side of the statement. “There actually used to be fell here?”
“Broadly speaking, yes. I'm not too familiar with this area, but your grandparents and their involvement with that Champion appears to be varying degrees of common knowledge here. And from what I could gather, their party took this place by force, and claimed the bounty on fell that the then-Prince was offering. Not that I believe that could have meant much to them, when this place gave them access to far more harvestables than anyone could ever use.”
“A bounty on fell?” Is that still a thing? I volunteer Elflorescence for it!
“The fell cannot be resurrected, and they lack a
Malwine bit her lip. “And a bunch of them got killed by the Champion Saint?”
And by her grandparents. That was the implication. Everything she knew pointed to them being dangerous creatures, from the curse to how Katrina died fighting them. Malwine abhorred Elflorescence despite them being little more than a nebulous threat to her.
So why did Veit have to phrase it like this? She'd known the fell were basically just elves, and inhuman by nature, but ‘they grow up like people do and some of them have children’ was the kind of thing that made everything awkward when speaking of two kinds—species?—fighting each other.
Especially when that had apparently led to one of the two being cast out of an entire region.
“I believe there were not many casualties. This was seemingly a loose group of them, not a Banate Court. As far as I can tell, there wasn't an effort made on their part to defend this place once they concluded they were outclassed. They simply fled.”
“And then my grandparents ended up with this place.”
“That, they did,” Veit nodded. “I don't know enough to tell you how close this was to the Champion Saint's death. That entire affair remains unclear even to me, but your grandparents were the only two left alive by the end of it. It's curious—I've known many Champions, and by extension, their party members. They all ponder the matter of settling down someday, but few actually do.”
It was admittedly interesting to hear—but Malwine's thoughts were still on soothing her formerly rising panic. She'd felt relief at learning her grandparents had probably not been out there killing elven children, but she understood she should have been a bit more concerned as to how little she'd doubted they might have.
Between Katrina and Kristian, I'm starting to suspect this family doesn't have the nicest of foundations. And unbelievably, Katrina was starting to shape up to be the worst offender of the two.
“I know my grandfather Kristian, but I don't know much about my grandmother, Katrina,” Malwine admitted with a slow exhale. She did love to joke about it, but with each new revelation, came doubts. The widow had been a force to be reckoned with, someone who could wrestle a family into shape. When it came to understanding—and perhaps controlling—the image of a family, the widow had been among the most capable… but was Malwine?
That self-doubt hit her like a truck. As many Skills as she had, and as much as she had discovered so far, what had she actually achieved? Had any of it truly gotten her closer to any of her goals, or had she been doing nothing but satisfying her personal curiosity so far?
“Your grandmother… I'm afraid I cannot help you with that, for I know nothing beyond her name and what I've heard from the rest of the staff.”
Malwine sighed. She'd known he was a relatively recent hire, and still, she'd asked. It was worth a shot. Despite that, she knew she hadn’t truly expected an answer there. It was all piling up, and she simply couldn’t bring herself to ignore it as well as she normally did.
“It sucks, you know,” she started before she could think better of it. “I… I don't know my mother, but everything in my life seems to tie back to her. So many problems I can't even understand, yet I can't even ask her anything. And the family I do have, I can't get close to, because what would they think of me? Even if I were to speak to them about any of this, I can't think of any way to do it without it just being me bringing trouble to them.”
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Veit's eyes widened slightly, his back straightening. Malwine hadn't really considered whether opening up to anyone was on the table, yet who did she have? Adelheid was a child. Anna Franziska worked for Bernie, at the end of the day. She'd grown to appreciate the former maid, but the knowledge that the woman ultimately answered to her guardian and would probably share anything they spoke of would always stand between them.
The widow was a solitary person, but complete isolation had never suited even her well.
“Regardless of whether you're mentally older from your time in stasis or not, you are a child of your family,” Veit spoke slowly, as if each syllable were measured in some way. “And families exist to rear and defend their children. If your mother caused ‘problems’, as you said, those are your family's to solve. It isn't a child's responsibility to deal with what the adults who came before them did.”
“I know that,” Malwine couldn't help but snap, shaking her head. “But it doesn't change how I feel. I have this image in my head, of them just being mine. My family. But there's this wall between us I know I'll never break down, even though they're right there. Yet chances are, if I don't do anything about it, I could go on to live long past them without having ever made the best of my time with them.”
While the widow had never gotten the opportunity to know her nuclear family at all. At some point, her double’s eyes had watered.
“I'd say you're too young to be worried about such things, but…” Veit sighed. “Families aren't perfect. Devils know I grew up insulting mine on the daily. But they're meant to be there for you. Given what we were discussing just now…” he eyed her. “You're under no obligation to live up to them to have worth, if this is about your grandparents’ status as members of a Champion's party. And if it is about their actions, and the purges of the fell, regardless of your stance on that, it isn't your responsibility. Not even the confusion your mother has sowed upon this place and your family—you didn't ask to be born, and you bear no blame for any trouble she left in her wake.”
Oh, I did ask. Malwine grimaced. Then again, she didn't quite get to choose who she was to be reborn as. She would have always been Beryl Rīsanin's child.
“Sorry about that,” Malwine blurted out. “We’re here for cultivation, not… this.”
“I shan’t pretend I can be of much help with your personal troubles, but I can recognize who it is I’m dealing with. I cannot hold you to the same standards of stoicity I might a real student,” Veit said, his lips slowly curving into a smile as he mercifully allowed the change of topic. “My recommendation to you would be to study your second Affinity first—the one that has remained at zero for both Control and Acclimation the longest.”
Malwine nodded. “And how, exactly, am I supposed to study it?”
“Remember the representation I shared with you? Start at its center. What does your Affinity stand for? And what is it to you, specifically? You need at least some awareness of its general meaning, of what normally comes to mind when the Affinity is mentioned. Though your personal views will always have some effect on how it manifests, the core of it will still depend on its generally accepted meaning. Once you know the answer to that, you can go from there.”
She winced. It was hard to think of {Foresight} as anything besides the source of her curse, however indirectly. Despite her efforts to become more accepting of it, she’d yet to succeed at truly looking past that.
“And after that?”
Veit pursed his lips. “After that, you need to understand its effects. That’s not something I can give much advice on, as it’s individual. You need to look within, to your Affinity, and determine just what its passive influence does. The Affinity’s description usually hints at it, but at their core, those effects will be the natural conclusion of how that Affinity is parsed through your worldview. It’s not something you will find answers for in panels.”
“Okay…” That much did make sense to Malwine, in truth. She’d noticed that while cultivating did occasionally earn her some notifications, the process itself was fairly devoid of them. “How would you suggest I go about trying to understand the Affinity in the first place?”
“Meditate often, but don’t force it,” Veit said. “Study the structure of that specific Root within your core, to match its innards with the structure I showed you. No matter how you manifest this Root, that part will be unchanging. Grasp it, examine it, and from there, ponder on its meaning. Again, ask yourself—what does it stand for, and which specific meaning does it hold for you?”
“It’s a subjective sort of thing,” Malwine noted. She hadn’t meant it as a question.
“Most matters related to our cores are,” Veit agreed. “You’ll notice, in time, that cultivating isn’t a matter of numbers, like everything else is. Your Control and Acclimation are quantified for the sake of your attributes more than anything else—if your grasp of your Affinities is adequate enough, those improve without the need for active effort.”
So even Adelheid has a better grasp of her Affinities than I do, no? The girl probably couldn’t help it, though. Her little sister had always treated {Missing} and {Implicit} as mere extensions of herself, as far as Malwine could tell. She no doubt had an easier time with them than someone looking at them from a purely system-based perspective would.
Veit had also mentioned not relying on panels much, back when he identified her near the flaming remains of OHeidi’s DIY funerary pyre. “Do panels matter less down the line? I can’t help but wonder.”
“They do and don’t—some of their functions will always be necessary. But becoming an Immortal does mean giving certain parts of the system up, and making that leap without preparation can lead to disastrous results—there’s a reason why Immortals rarely actually live forever. At your level, it doesn’t matter much, but trust me when I say, that stunt of yours, in pushing to the Mortal Esse, would not have been anywhere near as harmless if you’d done it at a higher rank.”
Malwine gulped. “Proper preparation is key. Got it.”
“Have you, now?” Veit raised an eyebrow.
“Definitely,” she insisted. “I’m an asshole, not an idiot. I can learn from my mistakes, and even I wouldn’t go off jumping off a cliff after being told the rocks at the bottom were sharp.”
“But what if you had a nice elixir—pardon, a nice set of armor to improve your endurance against those rocks?”
“Oh, fuck off, Veit,” she waved him off. Malwine chuckled anyway. She’d had her suspicions that he’d dropped the matter of her leap to the Mortal Esse a bit too swiftly, but she now understood why—the man was undoubtedly going to annoy her with the memory of it for the foreseeable future.
More than once, she’d considered telling him about {Foresight}, but it was a risk she wasn’t yet willing to take. He seemed thrilled that she’d all but dodged a bullet with {Ore}—something Malwine herself was skillfully refusing to address—so he would be unlikely to have a great reaction, should he learn she avoided planting the fell-gatekept Affinity in favor of another that placed her in the same predicament anyway.
“I realize it's a long way off,” Malwine started. “But as far as Control and Acclimation go, how far should I push those values before I move on to my next Affinity?”
Veit tipped his head to the side, seemingly deep in thought. A long moment passed before he replied. “I’d say, start by taking them to the same values as your first. There’s no need for your Affinities to all be at the same value, but these are your Class-bound Roots. Each Class will need a strong source of power, especially once they’ve been forged and reforged time after time.”
Right. Malwine had honestly forgotten how much of an advantage [Enforced Longevity] gave her there, with its capacity to make her Classes use any Mana Source as needed.
As their lesson wrapped up, Malwine smiled despite herself. While she tried not to get her hopes up, she found she was a bit more overjoyed than she expected, to have some type of guide she could use for tackling the annoyance that was {Foresight}.