As a princess, I must always be the picture of grace.

Gentle. Elegant. Assured.

Like a ballerina upon a stage, it was all but guaranteed that my every movement, my every smile and my every snore would be watched for even the slightest sign of frailty.

After all, those who sought weakness were as endless as the shadows they resided in. Saboteurs, traitors and opportunists alike waited like crows watching a battlefield, their talons held for only as long as it took for the first whiff of weakness to be sniffed.

To keep my head raised at all times was thus an endeavour without end.

Yet even so, I remained forthright in my strides and unwakeable in my naps. For as the clouds turned dark and even the gulls fled from the sky, it was I who was looked upon as a beacon amidst the storm.

A calming presence in the turbulence of life.

A bastion of dignity. An oasis of serenity.

That’s why—

“Haah … haaah … ughh … guuhh ...”

Not a single person saw me as I burst through a door.

“G-Good evening! Welcome to the Silk & Button Sewing House! … How may I help you?”

Indeed … I was so inconspicuous that it took all the alertness of the mildly startled seamstress in front of me to even notice my presence!

However, while my veil of secrecy and barely heard gasps of breath were just about impossible to discern, that didn't mean there was no hope for improvements.

Thus—with my clammy hands upon my knees, I sucked in the required air and looked up.

“Haahh … I … I require … a disguise.”

“A … disguise?”

I nodded furiously.

A heartbeat later, I glanced behind my shoulder.

I watched as the door to one of Marinsgarde's many sewing houses slowly creaked to a close. As my eyes narrowed, I waited for a hand to thrust past the narrowing gap like a knife through a chest.

Nothing happened.

There were no chasing silhouettes. No wrinkled faces. No smiles promising social oblivion.

Even so, I chose not to rest.

Indeed, I had no time to waste. I needed to assume a new identity. To enshroud myself in such a cloak that even my own family would fail to recognise me. Anything less was to invite calamity.

Because right now … I was in mortal danger!

Yes … I could feel it like a choking darkness! An ominous sensation carried by the wind! A danger known only by deers just before the still of a forest was disturbed by the snapping of a twig!

… In short, my finely honed princesses senses were tingling!

“I urgently require something that can dampen my natural glow,” I said, fixing my posture. “I understand this is very difficult. Regardless, it’s imperative that I’m unable to be tracked. This is an emergency.”

“Oh, I see! Well, given that you ran here—”

“I didn't run.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have a fragile constitution. To even calmly walk here is a test of my delicate health.”

The seamstress tilted her head and smiled.

Her eyes went from the beads of non-existent sweat to the fine threads of my attire.

“Is that so? … Well, given that you came here despite your delicate health, this truly must be an emergency. How is it that I can help? You wished for a disguise? Is this for an impromptu ball?”

“Yes. A masquerade of villains. And each one of them wearing a mask of harmless customer service. I need a new identity. What do you have available? Anything will do.”

The seamstress's eyes lit up as she motioned to the nearest thing on display.

“Anything? In that case, perhaps you'd consider this! A lovely lady's buttoned doublet. Made for outdoor excursions, it’s practical, durable and discreet while still remaining fashionable. The colours are demure enough to hide you both indoors and out. I believe it’d serve you well.”

“Indeed, as do I.”

“Excellent! The cost is–”

“After all, not even I would recognise myself in something where the bottom button is loose. Next.”

“Oh, I didn’t realise … then what about this? It’s one of our most popular spring gowns. It’s light, versatile, fit for a swift exit and every other occasion.”

“Every occasion which involves public embarrassment, yes. The hem isn’t even long enough to trail across the floor. If it can’t be used as a weapon, it’s no good.”

“I … I see … then what about this? It’s a simple overdress, but effective for blending in with a crowd.”

“Not if they see the threading on the cuffs, no. They’re not even symmetrical. Why, I may as well be wearing odd socks.”

The seamstress's smile tightened.

Yes, exactly as she should be doing with her needlework.

“... Ah. In that case, I think it’s best to take your time on seeing what you like. If you do decide on anything, I’ll just be in the back room.”

With that, the woman turned her heel and exited through a separate door.

She left little cause for optimism behind. I needed a new disguise. But not one which threatened to erase my royal status altogether. In that case, I needed to make my way to the next store. And if necessary, the next town as well. Perhaps the next continent.

After all–

“Hooo … been a while since I've been anywhere like this.”

“–Hiieee?!

It was unlikely that anything less would suffice.

There he was.

An elderly man appearing unnoticed behind me with all the slyness of a badger in the night.

Not a single bead of sweat dampened his wrinkles, nor his smile. Lifting his stooped back slightly, he slowly turned his head like an owl at all the things I wouldn’t be buying.

“Reminds me of Reitzlake’s promenade. And also why I’ve stopped visiting the place. Anything made for tourists is a little too colourful for my liking.”

I stepped away, holding my arms up in the pose of a martial art I wouldn’t hesitate to use.

“... H-How did you follow me?!”

“Well, it wasn't easy, but you might say I've a dubious history involving these things. Ah, look at this. They do men's tunics as well. Maybe it's time I added something to my wardrobe after a decade.”

He gave a chuckle. I didn't join him.

This man … why, he had the same aura as them!

Yes, those who stood smiling behind a desk!

He might not be wearing a receptionist’s uniform, but he wielded the invisible cudgel of contempt towards my sleep all the same! I could see it clearly! That welcoming demeanour failed to hide the wicked thoughts bent on inconveniencing me as much as possible while somehow pretending it was what I wanted!

Slowly, I began to step around him.

“I … I see,” I said with a brave smile. “Then I wish you luck in finding something to replace what seems to have already been enjoyed by the moths. Now, if you'll just excuse me ...”

I stepped to the left of the man.

And then I stepped to the right. And then back to the left.

Again and again, I repeated the motion like a dance even I’d need to bribe an audience to applaud. Especially as the man wasn’t seeking to even mirror my efforts.

Instead, he was doing something far more cumbersome.

Taking his time to study the only thing on discount. Right in front of the door. Which I was certain he hadn’t opened in order to enter.

“Ooph, am I in your way?” He scratched his back. Yes. Like a troll. “My apologies, I'll be out of your way in just a moment. My knees aren't as good as they used to be.”

“Yes, they must have suffered greatly during your record breaking sprint here.”

“Well, I can still use my legs when the demand comes–although I do need a good pause afterwards. Especially if I’m having to catch the attention of one who knows no rest. Eager to get to your next destination, huh? That's very commendable. Have to say, it's been a long time since anyone decided to not give me the time of day. But then again, most aren't as busy as you are.”

“Busy. Yes. I'm extremely busy. In fact, I've no time to waste. I have things to do. So many that I can’t even begin to put them into a list.”

He gave a hearty smile.

“I’m certain you do. And although I'm loath to distract you from those who seek your aid, I promise this won't take up much of your time.”

“Indeed, it won't. I see as obvious as the door you’re blocking that you've a mind to offer me some praise. Know, however, that it’s entirely unnecessary. I do what I do solely for my benefit and nobody else’s.”

Far from being stunned at this revelation, the elderly man only nodded.

“Impressive. To heed only your own satisfaction is truly selfless. Such unthinking dismissal of the piles of gold crowns which usually come with my acknowledgement is quite unheard of.”

I paused.

“Well, if you’ve a pile of gold crowns you wish to do away with, then I can certainly consider it …”

“Oh, I’ve no doubt you would. Yet I wouldn't dare waste your time only to humour me out of politeness.”

“No, it's fine. In fact, I just so happen to have a few seconds to spare. Did you bring a treasure chest with you, perhaps? Is it outside?”

“It is. For outside is the greatest treasure there is. The smiles of the people, safe and sound–if not in the knowledge of what you’ve done, then certainly due to the results of it.”

Ugh.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

I rolled my eyes as the disappointment instantly set in. I could hardly sell happiness.

“Very well. I note the joy and accept it. Now, if you'll just—”

“Indeed, it's a shame so few are aware of who safeguards them against the darkness. Yours is a sword so dazzling that most can only see where the blade has struck long after the last blink. Normally, tales such as yours would precede you. And yet only my receptionist seems to be truly aware of what you’ve accomplished. And now–perhaps myself as well.”

I pursed my lips as I considered the frail stature of the elderly man blocking the door.

Then, I turned towards the next source of escape.

The only window.

“... Heheh, what'd I tell you? Isn't this great~?”

Only to see the smile of my loyal handmaiden as she blocked it from outside.

Nor was she the only one to do so. There was also a commoner, his mouth so wide that if I jumped out he’d surely swallow me. And for some reason, also a random goblin she’d kidnapped.

“Your handling of Miss Harten's unfortunate lapse of judgement was exemplary,” said the elderly man as I immediately strode towards the fireplace. “Few could have resolved such an affair without harming her. Indeed, that would have been wholly justified, for an A-rank adventurer falling under a spell of ambition is as sad as it is dangerous.”

I lifted the grate blocking the hole.

“Is … Is that so? How admirable you make me sound. And while I don't deny I’m wonderful, it'd be appalling for me to accept such unwanted recognition. Why, I was aided by ...”

I stopped to point at the commoner gawping through the window. The elderly man nodded.

“Ah, you mean Mr. Oxwell.”

“Him. Yes. He deserves recognition for his bravery in … in … rescuing the cat. Without him, the creature would have been mildly inconvenienced before escaping on his own accord. Because he's a cat.”

“Indeed, and now the owner will be reunited due to his effort and yours. Although many will consider it the least of things, my opinion is that helping to ensure a cat’s safety is as impressive as rescuing Miss Harten from the throes of darkness. I’ve no doubt both will offer you their gratitude.”

I leaned down in order to peer upwards through the chimney.

All I saw was soot. An abyss deeper than any hole which could be dug. I shuddered at what I was thinking.

“Yes, well, if the woman wishes to offer her gratitude, then she may do so as a written admission of culpability. Every goblin and their cousin will know about this debacle soon.”

Silence answered.

I turned around, hoping the elderly man had magically vanished.

He hadn’t.

“Indeed, Miss Harten's role isn’t yet over,” he said with a serious nod. “That’s a conversation I fear will be less pleasant than this. However, what’s most important is that great harm was averted–thanks in no small part to your skill. And so it’s for this reason I wish to offer my apologies.”

“... For blocking the door?”

“Yes. But also because my next words are quite unworthy. After all, no acknowledgement can truly be deemed sufficient for what you’ve achieved.”

I was struck by horror.

Here it was.

The eyes filled with pride. The words of unabashed praise. The recognition that I was the only person with functioning limbs in the kingdom.

Indeed … my princess senses were more than tingling!

They were shaking me by the shoulders!

“That’s why, I’d like to–”

“Wait, stop, stopstopstop!”

“Hm?”

I held up my palms. Both of them. If I tried hard enough, perhaps a fireball would form.

“Whatever you are about to say … the answer is no!”

“No?”

“No! Absolutely no! That is the short version! For the long version, it is also no, but repeated until the shoreline has eroded into a single pebble! Whatever you’re about to offer, well … I wholly refuse it!”

A confused blink met me.

“... Are you sure? Although I'm certain your sword is a powerful thing, to decline the Severing Oath is something I’m uneasy about accepting without hearing an argument why.”

“The what?”

“The Severing Oath. It’s an enchanted blade kept in the private vault of the Reitzlake guild branch. It was wielded by one of the first companions. It’s a treasure which headquarters have been unable to pry from me despite their best efforts. An artifact held by only the most worthy, able to sweep aside foes with the very glint of its edge. Only those who symbolise the very tenets of the guild are ever permitted to wield it, such is its history and worth. As a result, few ever do.”

I paused.

“Is it expensive?”

“... Excuse me?”

“This treasured and historical artifact. Is it expensive?”

“Well, yes? Or rather, it’s invaluable. The Severing Oath comes from a time of the guild’s founding. And while I understand you’ve already a fine sword, perhaps you might be surprised if you were to wield it. If nothing else, I would still offer it as a token of gratitude for what you have accomplished. I dare say it will look better by your hip than locked away inside a vault.”

I nodded in consideration, then leaned slightly forwards.

“Question.”

“Yes?”

“You say ‘invaluable’. But everything has a value. If the sword were to, say, be sold back to the Adventurer’s Guild, how much would it be purchased for?”

The elderly man tilted his head ever so slightly.

“Uh … I'm not certain. But it would be an absurd amount.”

“Enough to bankrupt the guild?”

“Well, certainly enough to drain our coffers, yes.”

I clapped my hands in delight.

“... My, why didn't you say so! Then I accept the gratitude! … And also this ancient heirloom item of immeasurable cost! It’s in Reitzlake, you say? In that case, I shall retrieve it at once for my troubles!”

For a brief moment, the elderly man’s smile almost seemed to quiver.

The fleeting hesitation vanished as he turned towards the door, having now correctly decided not to purchase the tunic on discount.

“Good. Very good. I look forward to hearing what deeds you do with such an esteemed blade, then. It was a delight to have met you at last, Miss Juliette, brief as this meeting was. I do hope that when next we speak, it will be in more appropriate circumstances than this.”

“Indeed, this was a surprisingly most unpainful meeting.” I paused. “This … This is the end of the meeting, yes?”

“It is.”

The man offered a smile as he made his way outside with an exaggerated limp.

I continued bracing myself … all the way until he offered a polite nod as the door slowly came to a close.

For a moment, nothing could be heard but the ticking of a clock, the gawping from a window and the sound of a town occupied by at least one flock of sheep clearly wondering where the grass was.

I waited several more moments.

Then, I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Safe.

I … I was safe!

“Have you decided what you wish to purchase, miss?”

“–Hiee?!”

Immediately, I jumped slightly as the seamstress made her return.

Her remarkably silent footsteps were not at all appreciated. But since I’d been given that rarest of reprieves, I was also in a highly generous mood. And also forgiving.

Thus, I turned to offer a helpful word of advice concerning her stitching.

My lips parted … and then stayed parted as I realised to my puzzlement that the seamstress had returned with a different uniform. And also face. And hair. And smile.

Because no matter how many years one worked in a shop, no smile could emulate the ones wielded by those who stood behind a receptionist’s desk.

Unyielding. Unbreaking. Unwavering.

They were bright and professional. Yet one peek past the surface, and only darkness was revealed. A sea so hollow that light existed only to be devoured, fuelling the wicked schemes which controlled every movement and dictated every word.

Before me, a familiar receptionist offered such a smile.

It … It was her!

“Greetings!” said the harbinger of doom, withholding an obvious giggle of amusement. She hugged a sheet of parchment to her chest. “I apologise for the sudden appearance. I understand you’ve just finished your conversation with Guildmaster Quinsley. May I have a moment of your time?”

“Wha–” I pointed at once to the door to the other room. “What … What did you do to the seamstress?!”

The receptionist offered a tilt of her head. Whatever she said next was a lie.

“Hm? I haven’t done anything. I believe she’s currently enjoying her lunch. I apologised profusely for disturbing her and offered compensation for the guild taking up her business time.”

My mouth widened … all the more so as I realised there was smoke rising from her shoulders and hair.

“E-Excuse me! Were you just on fire?!”

The receptionist casually patted away the smoke. It made utterly no difference.

“I was in Reitzlake not long ago. I received a request from Guildmaster Quinsley for assistance in finalising matters of formality. He believes it’s appropriate that I handle this given our past meetings. Due to the short notice, I was required to teleport to several guild branches, each acting as waystations with my colleagues assisting in the spellwork.”

I took a step back … all the way until I was at the door of the shop.

Frankly, I didn’t know what was more horrifying. The fact that they were now openly conspiring against me or the knowledge that fire had no effect on them.

“I … I see …” My lips bravely assumed a smile as I slowly reached for the door handle. “Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m exceptionally busy and have no time for bureaucracy.”

“I understand. Few adventurers have chosen their profession in order to sign paperwork. However, none of that will be required now. I’ve successfully finalised what we last discussed.”

I stopped as the door began to creak open.

Then, slowly, like a broken clock, I turned towards the smiling receptionist.

“W-What did we last discuss?”

“Your certificate.” She held out her suspect piece of parchment. “You didn’t specify which colour you wanted, so I chose a neutral one. If you prefer another, that can be arranged.”

I looked at the certificate she held out.

There, written in ink as black as despair, was little more than a short note.

This certificate hereby certifies that the following member of the Adventurer’s Guild has reached A-rank.

JULIETTE.

Reitzlake Branch.

I stared.

A moment later, I threw up my arms in outrage.

“Is this it … ?!”

“Excuse me?”

“This! This is terrible! For something so likely to induce nightmares, why is it so plain?! … Even my 20 metre swimming certificate is more extravagant!”

The receptionist offered a smile of apology

“Ah. This certificate is only a matter of formality. In truth, I believe most A-rank adventurers are not even aware we issue certificates until they receive it. For that reason, little thought is put into its design.”

I was utterly appalled.

There was only a single joy which could be derived from a certificate issued by the guild. And even that was now lamentable. How was I supposed to know I’d burned this thing once it went into the hearth? It looked like any other piece of scrap kindling!

“Very well. In that case, you may keep it.”

“Excuse me?”

“My pouch might be bottomless, but that hardly means I can fill it up with clutter. It’ll make reaching for the piles of crowns I’ve legally accrued needlessly difficult.”

The receptionist gave a small hum as she looked up in thought.

“Oh, I see! … That’s certainly a legitimate concern.”

“Excellent, then I’ll just be–”

“However, I believe I’m still obliged to present this to you.”

With that, she held out the certificate while smiling enthusiastically.

I didn’t take it.

“... Does this mean you’ll haunt me until I wake up with this mysteriously smothering my face?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not aware of any drawer for the guild to store excess certificates.”

Remarkable.

She neither confirmed nor denied it.

Truly an excellent staff member in the making. Once her smile no longer filled me with the black pits of remorse, I would go about hiring her before she could cause more damage.

I quietly groaned, then reached out to pinch the very corner of the certificate like the linen napkins offered by inns. It’d be held like this all the way until I could offer it as a snack for Apple.

He’ll be delighted.

Especially as there were two of them.

As I pinched the certificate, an identical sheet separated out from underneath. I raised a brow in confusion.

“... Why do I have a copy?”

“That isn’t a copy.”

“It looks exactly the same.”

“The design is the same. But the contents are slightly different.”

I pursed my lips … then slowly leaned in to read it.

This certificate hereby certifies that the following member of the Adventurer’s Guild has reached S-rank.

JULIETTE.

Reitzlake Branch.

The receptionist lightly applauded.

“Congratulations! You are now an S-rank adventurer!”

As she smiled, wild claps joined her from the window. All of them by Coppelia as she wore the biggest smile I’d ever seen. Beside her, the commoner had his mouth open so wide it seemed like he was attempting to eat the window.

I blinked.

“Excuse me … ?”

“You’ve now reached S-rank. This is your certificate. For your convenience, I thought I should provide both of the certificates that you’ve earned at the same time.”

My mouth opened and closed.

Eventually–I gently raised my hands and gestured around me. At a shop filled with dresses which would only serve to be used as poor quality bed stuffing.

“Is ... Is this it?”

“Yes.”

“Is there not more that's required? A convocation perhaps? Endless debate bristling with blood and politics? Guildmasters across different nations striving to undermine each other? Official tests of worth filled with unneutral observers?”

The receptionist gave a small, polite laugh into her hand.

“A meeting of guildmasters is only required for access to the B-rank trials. Once an adventurer has been accepted into the senior ranks, rules regarding advancement are … non-standard. There are traditions which are usually observed. However, Guildmaster Quinsley has indicated he’ll be personally ensuring that no issues arise.”

“I see.”

I hummed in thought.

Then, after staring at the ceiling for so long that a receptionist reached up to wave above me, I calmly walked around the shop, selecting the best dresses available and gathering them up in my arms.

Once I had enough, I carefully placed them all in the middle of the floor in a tidy bundle.

I nodded in satisfaction, brushed down my skirt and turned around.

A moment later–

Darkness took me as I collapsed.