I peeked around me.

To my left, a golden shoreline tickled by the ocean.

To my right, rolling hills dotted with swaying woodlands.

To my front, Apple chewing the grass beside the dirt road.

And behind, a shimmering gate still bristling with magic.

Golden leaves ringed its shape. Yet unlike how it appeared only moments ago from the other side, nothing could be gleaned from its surface. It was a foggy window, showing only a glimpse of the horrors found in the realm beyond.

One which Coppelia was seemingly trapped in.

Puzzled, I waited a moment for my loyal handmaiden to appear.

I waited another moment, idly tapping my foot while I considered the disparate state of Apple’s mane.

Coppelia failed to skip through.

I waved before the gate. Nothing answered. And so I found myself alone, caught between a glimmering coast and the thick woodlands which climbed all the way up to the horizon. Only the sound of waves in the distance welcomed me.

As a result, I did the only thing I could.

I swallowed a deep breath, then kneeled down and dropped to my side.

Then … I rolled.

Arms tightly tucked together, I rolled to my left. And then I rolled to my right. I rolled again and again, repeating this motion until finally, I allowed my regal posture to relax.

After a moment, I nodded.

There was no doubt in my mind.

This … was my kingdom!

Ohohohohoho!

The scent of the wild grass sorely in need of trimming! The softness of the earth one step away from being mud! The cracks and holes in the road in dire need of repairs!

It … It was wonderful!

Indeed, I recognised this lack of upkeep! This flagrant disregard for appearance!

Here was a stunningly ordinary corner of my kingdom, each invasive bramble growing into the road proof of my nobility’s inability to maintain their own hovels, let alone public infrastructure!

It was so beautiful!

“Heheheheh …”

No royal welcome awaited me but the grass.

But that would do for now.

I rolled to and fro like the dignified princess I was. A rare satisfaction overtook me as I basked in the coarseness of anywhere beyond the Royal Villa’s walls.

Then, with a smile upon my face, I flopped upon my stomach and lazily splayed my arms out, revelling in the calming sensation of a land without earthquakes, dragons and falling pianos.

“Aaaand I’m here~!” said Coppelia, skipping through the gate with little fanfare. “Sorry to keep you waiting! The big guy was being needy.”

“Hm?” I gently rose from the grass while rubbing my eyes. “... Oh, Coppelia? Where are we?”

“Eh? What do you mean? We’ve come back to your kingdom!”

“My, truly? … Oh, I remember now. Goodness, I think I must have fallen asleep.”

“You just woke up? How did you even fall asleep?”

“As a princess, my constitution is naturally weak.”

Coppelia briefly turned behind her, studying the gate in puzzlement.

“Really? But this was a spell cast by a dragon. This [Nether Gate] was so stable there’s more side effects just walking through a normal door.”

“Dragon or not, there is little chance that I could traverse the perils of a magical gate and do anything but appropriately fall into slumber.”

“Ahahaha~ I guess you’re right. I keep forgetting you’re squishier than me.”

Phoomph.

All of a sudden, the spell behind Coppelia’s back ceased.

Scarcely a moment after coming through, the gate closed to the sound of a door slamming shut.

The ends of my hair lifted as the magic which had paved our way swirled in the air as leaves of gold, before all sight of it faded like an unfortunate dream.

Helped, of course, by my mind diligently working to forget it.

Ouzelia had come and gone. And aside from my giant bathhouse to go with my soap export empire, I was certainly not better for it.

“Mmh, definitely your kingdom!” said Coppelia, smiling brightly as she began to perform her morning stretches. “My nose is already trying to block itself.”

“Please, that’s patently unfair. Other kingdoms have worse peasants.”

“Yeah. But other kingdoms don’t have as many cows. You have a lot of cows.”

“W-Well, of course! This is a land of natural, undiminished beauty, as agreed by our renowned livestock grazing in abundance … and also wherever they want, despite my guards constantly shooing them away from the direction of my bedroom.”

Coppelia giggled, never knowing the grief of being told that while farmers needed to obey our trespassing laws, cows were somehow exempt.

“It’s better here, at least,” she said with a needless twirl. “The nearest cow is at least several hills away. It’s mostly the sea and all the gross things you people dump in it that I’m getting right now. In fact, it smells really familiar here.”

I duly pointed to the golden shoreline. A thing of beauty as well as a cause for joy.

“Why, that’s because it should do. My kingdom only has one coast. We’re somewhere to the west. If we’re lucky, then perhaps we might even find Trierport nearby.”

“Oooh~! Does this mean visiting Soap Island?”

“This does not mean visiting Soap Island.”

“Why not? Don’t you want to see how miserable everybody is while they try to mine soap without any mining tools?”

“Naturally, I do.” I placed my hand to my chest and gently smiled. “However, my presence is akin to a star in the night sky. And the sun has yet to fall on a single day’s work for those on Soap Island. Even with Florella’s expert supervision, it will doubtless take time before the first bar is ready for inspection. I shall not distract the new residents until they require the encouragement of my smile once again.”

Coppelia nodded in understanding.

“... You want to go home first, huh?”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“My orchard, Coppelia!” I gestured wildly towards the overgrown grass. “I have been absent so long that for a moment, I was taken in by the common grass upon the roadside! This is terrible!”

A sympathetic smile met my suffering, even if the added giggle wasn’t needed.

“In that case, are you going to show me your tower now?”

“Ohohoho … indeed, I am! This has been a successful, if fatiguing tour of my kingdom. Regardless, our contributions cannot be denied, nor our right to enjoy the fruits of our labours while the Royal Villa’s three kitchens work in rivalry to feed us, all sabotaging each other in the hope of being fired last.”

“Treachery strudels~!”

“Exactly.” I nodded wholeheartedly, then smiled as I peered down the road … before doing the same in the other direction as well. “Now, I do recall the direction to the Royal Villa being …”

I peeked at Coppelia.

She pointed happily in the opposite direction I was facing.

“I can smell crêpes wafting from a town nearby~”

“Ohoho … an excellent suggestion. We should allow Apple to rest after his frightening ordeal at the claws of a dragon.”

Apple looked up from the grass.

His ears flapped as he shooed away a bee seeking a nearby daisy. The greatest discomfort he’d shown so far, despite having been carried halfway across Ouzelia.

… Through the sky.

Regardless, I would not allow his stoic exterior to result in laxness on my part.

As his caretaker, it was my responsibility to ensure he was always well prepared for the harsh realities of the road. And that meant critical provisions.

“Very well, Coppelia! We proceed onwards … towards the nearest bakery!”

“Yay~”

Thus, I climbed atop Apple–and with only a little tug, he began to trot away.

The sound of hooves ignoring every bump immediately filled the air. A calming rhythm which refused to be shaken no matter which part of any kingdom that was traversed. But I expected nothing less.

Before long, it was all I heard along with the skipping of a clockwork doll beside me. A familiar cadence which lasted all the way until the rarest sight greeted us along the side of the road.

A wooden sign which didn’t instil horror in me.

North – Wisenlait Gate

South – Marinsgarde

I clapped my hands in delight.

“My, how unexpected! We’re near the border with the Kingdom of Lissoine!”

Coppelia nodded, appearing just as impressed as when she found a larger than average twig by the side of the road.

“Oooh ... is that a good thing?”

“Very much so. The Kingdom of Lissoine is a bastion of the arts. It is as famed for the Théâtre Botanique du Palais Royal as the culture which originates from it. And this means any bordering region benefits accordingly.”

“... The bakeries here are going to only have things really hard to pronounce, huh?”

“Yes … and it will be wonderful.”

Madeleine de Pomme Dorée avec Fraises Fondantes! Petits choux aux noisettes et crème d'abricot frais! Palmier au café avec beurre d'artichaut!

I smiled brightly at the thought … just as much as Coppelia’s seemed to waver.

“Eh … will I be chased out for asking for a plain macaron?”

“No. But you should make an effort to ask for macaron aux amandes avec guimauves grillées if you can. The harder something is to say, the tastier it is.”

“That can’t be true.”

“It is a fact. Effort encourages taste buds, after all.”

Coppelia blinked at me.

She then tilted her head in thought, before raising both arms in cheer.

“Wooo! Effort encourages taste buds! I’m going to use that from now on!”

I pursed my lips, slightly concerned at what inadvertent life lesson I may have just taught.

Fortunately for our personal funds and the town’s flour stores, it was more than just fine patisseries which awaited our impending visit.

“Marinsgarde,” I said, the sight of its pretty windows having almost faded from my memories. “It is considered the most fashionable town of my kingdom outside of Reitzlake. The heart of culture. Many nobility aspire to waste away the days there, once their ambitions have failed them in the royal capital.”

“Really? Isn’t that a bad thing, then? You know, if the worst of them are all bunched up together.”

“It would be–if that were permitted. Marinsgarde is a town of trade and a highly successful one, too. The penniless and the failed have no more right to reside there than the mud so often found in my other towns.”

Indeed, the dragon had done us a courtesy.

I wasn’t certain if it was deliberate. In fact, this was more or less the closest point between my kingdom and Ouzelia, here being the furthest north.

Regardless, I would accept every gift from a dragon which wasn’t being swept through the air. Even if he’d offered to fly me back to my tower, I’d have chosen to walk instead.

Yet if I could have requested to be sent anywhere else in my kingdom, it would be here, where even bread took 12 syllables to say–mostly to reject it in favour of something more pleasing.

Thus, I smiled as I looked ahead.

Before I could offer a tug at Apple’s reins, however, an unexpected sight came up from the road, courtesy of a rickety cart struggling with the many cracks.

A small figure approached. But this was no halfling here to assail our stomachs.

Dressed in little more than a bandit’s forgotten laundry, he stood out sharply even given the distance. A stranger in a normal land. Yet despite the glare of the morning sunlight, the forest hue of his skin almost seemed to subdue it.

A goblin.

Hmm.

How rare.

And a merchant too, judging by the litany of wares spilling from atop his cart.

An unusual sight in my kingdom. Goblins kept to their forests and mountains, eschewing the company of humans as much as the mercantile decorum required to regularly trade with them.

How strange that I would see one trundling along the road.

Thus, I wore a pleasant smile.

Far be it for a princess to offer anything less, of course. The famed grouchiness of goblins mattered little to me. Especially from those who might provide a tidbit of information.

“Salutations,” I said warmly to the passing trader. “It is a lovely day, isn’t it?”

The goblin paused.

In his cart, a pile of houseware threatened to tumble. Nothing would be lost if it did. Mismatching plates, upturned bowls, ghastly cutlery and everything else required to fill up a dining room beyond use glinted hopefully at me.

I ignored it all. Just like the goblin ignored any notion of giving a reply.

My smile continued.

“... My apologies for taking your time, but I was hoping you might inform me just how far Marinsgarde is from here. I have somewhat lost my bearings, you see.”

The goblin’s dark eyes appraised me.

Then … he sniffed, nose wrinkling as his expression immediately broke into a frown.

And that was that.

The goblin lifted his cart and trundled onwards, leaving not a single word behind.

I stood in shock.

… H-How rude!!

“Why, I never … !”

Here I was, a princess offering a smile and a chance to provide the most cursory of assistance! There was a queue of knights, suitors and servants muddying the ground outside my bedroom tower, all seeking a chance to answer my every whim!

To earn my passing favour was the cherished desire of all!

“Pffft~”

Indeed, even Coppelia was stunned! Her laughter could barely exit her lips!

Still, I decided to ignore it all.

I had things to do. And rolling my eyes at the rudeness of goblins was not something I was going to spare any thought towards. If leaving behind highly unimpressed customers was how goblins wished to pursue trade, then I would leave them to it.

Thus, I lifted Apple’s reins once again … all the way until I saw the second most rare sight of the day.

There, trundling up the road, was another goblin.

With a cart.

Filled with stuff.

I blinked at the sight, offering no greeting as both goblin and cart passed me by. Not a word was sent my way. Only the briefest wrinkle of a nose. An insult worse than the wares this one hoped to sell.

Because far from time replaying itself, this goblin had boasted different wares.

Not just tableware this time. But an actual table … all present, if not whole. Its legs had been seemingly sawn off in order to fit the thing into the small cart.

I watched the goblin trundling away.

And then–there came a third.

Once again, the goblin offered neither a word nor a glance as he lackadaisically passed me by, his cart filled with paintings and all their smudges. The only acknowledgement to my presence was a sneeze, a tiny groan escaping as he deliberately tilted his head away from me.

I pursed my lips.

And then I sat up as high as I could, raising my hand to block out the sun’s glare while peering down the road.

One rude goblin was a rarity.

Two rude goblins was a coincidence.

Three rude goblins was a question mark.

… But an entire, unbroken line of goblins, each carrying a filled cart?

Why, that was Coppelia poking my delicate waist as my mouth dropped open.

“Wow~ this is amazing! I didn’t know your kingdom was so welcoming. That sure is a lot of goblins, isn’t it? And all of them are carrying away little pieces of furniture. Gosh, it’s like they’ve just come back from loot central! Isn’t that something? I wonder what that could possibly mean?”

Silence prevailed.

Coppelia waited at least a minute before waving her hand in front of me.

A moment afterwards–I threw up my arms in utter outrage.

“... I was gone for five minutes!”