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The Tutorial Is [Way] Too Hard
78: F8, Boss Stage, [Swamp]

78: F8, Boss Stage, [Swamp]

And lost I was. I’ll spare you the details, but since I faithfully checked the time for the entire duration, I can speak with absolute certainty when I say that I doggy-paddled around in that river of mud for no less than thirteen days straight.

Sometimes I would actually reach a shore, but every time, it would be the wrong one, and I’d get no message about the boss stage. I got so desperate that once I got to the shore, I paced up and down, trying to ensure that it was really the one I started out at, but it had the same lantern, so it must have been the one.

The river never took me anywhere, and when I reached the wrong shore, I would always be back at the lantern. My only theory is that as I swam, the river was actively turning around, constantly, always. In my exhausted, blood-drained state, I imagined that the river actually just ran perpetually in a circle around a little island, that island being the place I entered the floor at. But that couldn’t be the case, because once I got up to the wrong shore, again and again and again and again and again, no matter how far I walked along the shore, never did I circle around to find the lantern. Only by going into the river of mud and going back up again did I encounter the lantern again.

After this, I stopped going up on the shore anytime I found it, and just focused on my new favourite pastime: eating live fish.

Fish is good for you. If you eat lots of fish, you’ll be able to swim as good as one. That’s what my mother always told me, and that’s what I’m sticking to. Maybe swimming for almost two weeks straight and doing nothing but eating fish wasn’t too good for my brain, because once I ran out of fish, I was genuinely bummed out about it to the point that when I saw the lantern and the shore again, I decided just to go right on ahead. Nothing left to lose, and all that.

I went past the lantern and beyond the shore, into the fog, and after about half a day of walking…

Hell Difficulty Eighth Floor

Boss Stage>

<[Clear Condition]

Pass through the swamp to

reach the lighthouse.>

I stare at the message in front of me. I lift my head upwards. Far ahead, I spy the only light shining through the thick mist, far away, yet close enough where I can tell that it’s gotta be a lighthouse of some sort.

…Seriously? That was it? That was all I needed to do? Did I seriously swim around in mud for like two weeks just… because? Seriously?

chuckles.>

…If I ever find you, if I ever were to meet you face-to-face, I would make sure that when we part ways, you won’t have a face anymore. And if I find out that you gods don’t have faces as we mere mortals do, then I will learn divine magic strong enough to give you a face, and then rip that off. Does that sound good to you? How’s Sunday at three? That work with you, Cruel?

No answer. Should’ve guessed. Cowards, the lot of them…!

Now, what’s this about a swamp?

But before I can inspect the area around me more closely, a message pops up.

…The only one I can imagine who’d send this would be…

Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier,

my party basically ran right on ahead

into the next floors as well to

prepare for the next Grand Conference.

How have you been faring? I just now

remembered that you need a piece of

metal for the ferryman, but he’ll settle

for almost anything as long as it’s metallic.

Even your braces or a titanium implant will do.

Aside from that, good job with the seventh floor!

Glad you were able to beat it. Hope the eighth

floor hasn’t been too hard on you!>

I quickly type in a response.

bad bt now im kk so is fine but wdy

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mean wit gran confrance>

Then again, you seem very busy, so I’m not

especially surprised. By the end of this attempt,

there will be another Grand Conference.

We still don’t know what the purpose of

the conferences are, but HookedOnBach[F23]

has hypothesised that it commemorates

whenever something important happens or

is unveiled in the server. Let’s talk more

At the conferance, I’ve got to go.

Good luck!>

Another conference so soon? The last one was only… Uhh…

<22:37:57

Day 164>

16:01:22:03>

Seventy-five days ago! Or 90 days, if you calculate from when it will start. Hm. If I remember correctly, the last one was exactly 90 days after the tutorial opened. That’s an interesting coincidence. Will I have to meet a bunch of people every three months? No idea. I almost hope not. The last time was pretty stressful. Hope there won’t be any insurrections this time…

Anyhow, back to the swamp.

I squint at the area in front of me. It’s still so foggy I can barely see my own nose, but I think what I’m looking at is something of a woody area. There are trees, that’s for sure, but they’re squat and twisted. The area between the trees is basically just black. And if I look back up, there’s the lighthouse. Pretty far away, but not far enough for me to hesitate.

I move towards it.

After only a few steps, I feel my bare feet plunge into cold, slippery mud. Oh, God, more of this? Alright, fine, it’s not like I’ve got any choice.

I move forward. It really is a swamp. The completely black mud I move through is filled with what I hope is vines and the roots of whatever plants exist here. It’s really disgusting, having your foot brush up against what feels like a head full of hair, but there isn’t much else I can do but grit my teeth and continue.

The mud and sludge is pretty high, but it never gets higher than my navel, so I’m able to trudge forward without having to commit myself to the tedious task of swimming through it. And things go pretty fine until I accidentally bump into what I assume is a log or something, but when I look down at it, I find a pair of yellow eyes looking back up at me.

Cr-, crocodile?!

Oh, phew, it’s just a clone of me. Before it can do anything, I shove it underneath the muddy surface, holding it just below as it kicks and flails and scratches up my arms, but after a few minutes, it stops moving. I hold it down for an extra minute or so until I get a message.

So, if I am to understand this right… there are shades on this floor?

I look down at the shade floating face-up in the mud.

—But, they just look like me, so it’s fine. Honestly, unlike the other shades, I don’t even know if these shades are sentient at all. They don’t say anything other than hissing and stuff, and if you so much as look at them, they attack like a rabies-infected racoon. Maybe there’s something wrong with their programming? Who knows.

I continue on. There are quite a few shades, more and more as I get closer to the lighthouse, but they only attack if I physically touch them, so all I need to do is to place myself in the perfect position to disembowel and break their neck at the same time while also tearing out their throat and I can take of them pretty easily.

Once the lighthouse comes nearer, it isn’t even all that much trouble to take care of them.

Almost casually, I snake my hands around a nearby shade standing and staring at a tree, and with only the simplest movements, I kill him.

<[Level Up]>

Strength has increased by 2.

Stamina has increased by 3.

Magic Power has increased by 1.

Dagger Tooth has increased by 1.

Swim has increased by 1.

Clutch has increased by 1.

Exhaustion Resistance has increased by 1.

Starvation Resistance has increased by 1.

Dehydration Resistance has increased by 1.

Parasite Resistance has increased by 1.>

Not bad, all things considered. With this level, I might actually be able to give Moleman a run for his money, heheh!

But the lighthouse is very close now, so there’s no need to linger anymore. I’ve already been wandering through this swamp for over two weeks in order to kill all of the shades, so it’s about time to get moving. I can’t smell any more human, and the only sound in this swamp is of my own movement. The time is now.

As I move closer to the lighthouse, the muddy swamp retreats, and with each step, the level of mud falls slightly. Soon, I’m standing completely free of mud, and the lighthouse is right above me. I take a quick peek at the time.

<23:37:57

Day 179>

1:00:22:03>

will begin in 22:03.>

Perfect.

I step close enough to touch it.

please knock on the door.>

…The door? What doo—

Oh, this one? The one to the lighthouse? Huh. That sounds pretty suspicious, but it’s not like I can just refuse, so…

Knock—knock—knock. No answer. I do a knock to the tune of shave and a haircut. No response either. That’s pretty wa—

The door flies open but by that point I’m already gone, right back in the lobby, with a series of messages floating in front of my vision.

points for clearing the floor.

You have received an additional

1 000 points for being the first to clear

the floor.>

you will receive an additional reward.>

the additional reward has been

traded for 5 000 points.>

<4 Gods have shown a positive response to you.

You have obtained 4 000 points.>

<36 Gods have shown a negative response to you.

36 000 points have been deducted.>

the floor clear reward has been

traded for 1 000 points.>