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126: F15, Goblin Behaviour?

126: F15, Goblin Behaviour?

Once I get back to the crib, it’s been at least a couple of hours since I left. In fact, it’s turned dark, and the cold is starting to creep in. I’m not exactly sure how long Simel’s been on his own, but… Actually, let’s get a specific number on that one.

<00:30:10

Day 364>

23:29:50>

will begin in 23:29:50.>

—It’s already past midnight?!

Wow. Okay, yeah, today went fast. Not all that strange considering just how much has happened, but still a bit of a shock. More worrying, however, would be the fact that the grand conference is literally less than a day away. I mean, considering Simel, that could be really bad, right? Not that I think he’ll go get himself killed or anything. Just that, I don’t know… I only just reunited with him, so to leave him so soon feels a bit mean. I guess.

But that’s for later. Right now, I’m at the crib, and it’s pretty late, so I really ought to treat Simel to some good-old-fashioned grub!

Mustering a friendly, outgoing smile, I summon a bit of goodwill and excitement. I’m sure that now, since I’ve got him some food, he’ll be much happier to see me!

Smiling, I throw the door open fully with a single, quick pull.

And out tumbles Simel, hands stretched out, eyes wide, right into my arms, almost as though he was leaning on the door for some reason and my opening it was basically like pulling the rug out from under him. Or—or something. I blink down at him. He stares up at me. I don’t even know what to say right now because I’m so shocked, I mean… Why was he leaning on the door? Is that standard goblin behaviour?

Besides, going by how he fell into my arms face-first, it would almost suggest that he was pushing against the door.

My brows furrow in mild suspicion.

Below, in my arms, I see his face twist and shift in odd, unreadable ways. Even more interesting, even though I’m holding him—the both of us as close as we were when I carried him here—he isn’t trembling. He’s perfectly still. Not even a single movement. I’d assume he was dead if it wasn’t for his clothes and skin being just slightly warm.

I look down at him. The smile that was on my face before is gone. “Simel?” I ask, gently. “What were you doing by the door?”

His jaw starts trembling, making his teeth chatter.

Since we’re already touching, I guess a little more wouldn’t hurt, right?

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

I grab a gentle hold of his jaw, making his teeth stop clacking together. “Are you alright, Simel? Are you cold?” Yes, now that I’m feeling his skin more closely, he’s very cold. Almost deathly so. That isn’t good. He’s still young. I hope he isn’t sick. I frown down at him. He twitches in my hand. And then, he starts trembling. Shivering, even! Now isn’t that just pitiful? Removing my hand from his cheek, I grab him closer. He trembles against my chest. “Let’s go back inside, okay?”

After a second or so, his head starts to give a few curt, jerking nods. Good! Weirdly enough, his eyes look very shiny in the light of the many, many moons. But that’s alright.

Still holding him closely, I step inside the crib and close the door behind us. Once the door is closed fully, I put him down. He stumbles a little, but when I try to steady him he winces back, so… Yeah. Is this what it’s like to have a toddler? He certainly doesn’t come off as confident as he did the last time we met, but… Well, it’s not like I can just abandon him, right? Friends change. The important thing is to remember that even if they’ve changed, they’re still your friend in the end, no matter what.

Something itches on my back and I suddenly remember something.

“—Oh!” I exclaim. He jumps back a little but that’s fine. “I almost forgot—look, Simel, I got you grub!” To show off the goods, I twist around, presenting my spiny, blood-soaked back, the cactus fastened to it, and also the large bird impaled on said cactus. Now that I think about it, that might be a slightly grisly sight, exemplified by Simel taking a couple of steps back.

Jabbing a thumb at the stuff on my back, I begin explaining. “See, I checked the camp but there wasn’t anything, so I went and got this cactus! It’s totally edible and not poisonous. But my fingers are covered in necrotic waste and stuff so I couldn’t cut it up, but then while bringing it I found this bird, and one thing led to another, so…” I chuckle. “But it is food!” At least, I think so…

He stares at me. Stretching the limits of my social abilities, I spend fifteen skill points to gain the ability to read his goblin expressions. Okay, slight furrowing of the brow, uncertain shifting of the gaze, tightening of the lips… “What? Are you skeptical?”

He doesn’t answer or anything, but I can tell what he’s thinking.

“Hey! This stuff is totally safe, it just happens to be covered in a bit of blood and feathers, is all. But that’s just the outside part—the inside is totally safe. See, I’ll show you! I just need to—” I reach back. Or, at least, I try to.

Remember how I said my arms aren’t made of rubber? That’s still factual.

I freeze. Okay. Uhuh. Um.

I reach back a little bit more. Y—eah, no, I’m not going to reach that. I glance over at Simel, putting on my best puppy-dog eyes. Without even a twitch of hesitation, he looks away. Okay, yeah, I understand that one.

Erm, alright, let’s just…

Backing up towards one of the walls, I try to fasten the cactus to that instead. But now the bird is in the way. The spines won’t go as far into the crib as they will into my own flesh. It’s still primarily fastened to me. This is… quite the pickle, huh? B—but no need to fret! I’ll solve this. Easy peasy! See, if I can just grab like a long bone from my inventory, then I can just use that as a poker to fix it. Easy!

…Oh, wait, yeah, I don’t keep the bones. I mean, it’s not like I can eat them, so…

Okay. I’ve got it. Simple solution. No troubles.

I sit down on the floor and grab the knee of my left leg. Let’s see, the soft spots are here, here and here… I bring up my right index finger. Angling it just right, I stab it into a soft spot in-between cartilage and bone. Wiggle wiggle wiggle.

Stab Lv.3>

I pull out my finger again. Deep red blood starts seeping out and I put my finger against a different spot before stabbing it in again. Repeating this a few times, I’m finally left with a knee that looks almost worm-eaten, which is what I’m going for. To seal the deal, I bite off the last of it, accidentally scraping my teeth against the bone. One of them goes crack, so I pull it out and swallow it down.

And now, for the moment of truth.

Drumroll, please…

I wiggle my leg.

With a little tug, it comes off completely, separating by the knee.

I hold up the severed appendage by the shin and turn to Simel, grinning with pride. “Ta-dah!”

I didn’t notice it before, but for some reason, he’s taken a seat over in the corner of the crib, hunched up with his back against the fleshy wall, knees pressed to his chest, eyes peering at me like a sailor staring out at the pitch-black sea after a devastating storm. For lack of a better word, he seems completely disinterested in my wonderful solution. But I won’t let that demotivate me.

Hiding my hurt, I turn the leg around and push the foot end into a part of the cactus. For a moment, I have the horrible thought that maybe this is some sort of karma, and the gods—wanting nothing less than to watch me suffer—might be so cruel as to not make this work. Maybe my foot will get stuck, and I’ll have to try again with another foot, and then another foot, and by the end I’ll look like a plate of finger food, but with feet instead of meats and chee—

Pop!

OhthankGodalmighty it worked!