And so began my journey across the sandy dunes.
I learned a lot of things and tasted a lot of things, including but not limited to: soot, sand, rock, dog-sized scorpions, small but crunchy flightless birds and the lizards that hunt them, fifteen different kinds of hallucinogenic cacti, soot, a bus-sized woolly lizard that actually posed a pretty big threat before I figured out that they couldn’t turn any faster than an arthritis-struck grandma, a couple of drakes, and also a bit more soot. Very few of these things were actually any tasty, specifically one, but I’ll leave it up to you to infer that. I’ll give you one hint, though: it’s not the soot.
Alright, alright, fine, I’ll tell you which ones I found tasty. It was… drumroll, please…
…The birds! Yeah, uh, those birds were pretty tasty. If you stomp around in a specific way, they’ll peek out assuming you’re a bug or tiny lizard, and then you can just dig them out of the soot and sand. The thick coat of feathers is annoying to remove, though, so I usually don’t bother and just pop them as they are. If you do it right, you can use them as bait to catch a complimentary lizard, too. Neat, huh?
There is actually a surprising amount of life, most of it hiding just beneath the thick layer of soot. The vast majority of them are insects though, but a number of plants and cacti hide down there as well.
The desert was, as a whole, a pretty interesting place to just explore as it was. There were plenty of small caves here and there, usually hosting a creature or another. Even though it’s kind of a loser move, I actually rested in these a few times, just to cool down my head. I mean, what more can you want? Food, a place to rest… it was good.
It was less good at night, though.
See, unlike the day, nighttime was cold as a mother’s glare, so the caves no longer presented any real solace. Not that this was any problem, of course, it was just kind of annoying. Then again, it did allow me to train both my cold and heat resistance, so it wasn’t exactly a bad thing, really. I just continued on as before. The night held other creatures than the day did, which meant more hides for me. Weirdly big and hairy tarantulas, a thick snake sifting through the soot with a snorkel-like tongue to breathe and smell through, a feather-light creature that ran on top of the soot, a flock of tall, three-footed creatures that resembled cacti… That sort of stuff. I did the sensible thing by killing, skinning and eating everything I came across, all the while mentally noting down their effects and such.
I’ve started being able to tell when something does something to me, even if I have a resistance suppressing the effects. It’s very subtle, but once you recognise it, it’s impossible not to taste it.
A lot of things in this place are very poisonous, but not always what you expect. That tarantula I mentioned? No poison. Neither did the snake have any—no, as a matter of fact, that guy was a constrictor. That tiny, fluffy creature that was so light it could run easily on top of the soot, though? Poisonous enough to raise my protection to level six, which was nice, but a bit frightening. It left me queasy for days. Obviously, though, I still ate it the next time I saw it.
But the fauna were only marginally less hazardous than the environment itself. It should come as no surprise that by the end of my first day of trekking, I decided to do the unthinkable and start wearing shoes, because my feet had gone all skeleton-y twice already. The shoes were hardly anything to look at, just a pair of snake scalps, but they did their job by keeping me on my feet literally speaking.
Oh, right, remember those caves I mentioned earlier? Yeah, they had more use than just as an outlet for my hubris. During certain times, they were actually life-saving.
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Once every couple of days or so, the otherwise blue skies would abruptly darken, which would leave me with about ten minutes to find shelter before flaming black snowflakes of ash would start falling from the heavens. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that this is far from enjoyable. The soot will start by just branding itself into your skin, burning away tiny patches of flesh. But the light ashfall will soon turn into something more so resembling a blizzard than anything suitable for a pleasant Christmas view. Within an hour, the soot will be falling with such speed and consistency that they will easily burn their way through almost anything. Skin, muscle, fat and bones stand no chance. The soot burns onto you in great thick irremovable sheets, as inseparable from you as your own skin. You can pull and claw at the heavy bits of soot as much as you want, but within time, it will only end up with your entire limbs getting pulled off.
This is the point where I was able to drag my half-dead body into the shade of a rock, but if not for that, I would almost definitely have died. But I didn’t, so everything’s fine!
The experience did, however, teach me something very important: don’t die. Only losers die.
Aside from this and various other natural disasters, the desert did actually present me with one final oddity. Here and there, all angled towards that big round mountain I’m heading towards, you can find these smooth, soot-caked rocks. Or, at least, that’s what I thought they were before I tore off the soot and cracked them open.
They’re goblins. Fleshy, bloody, still-alive goblins, prostrating with their foreheads to the ground. If I hadn’t torn their still-beating hearts from their chests, I would have assumed them to be dead. Or just inanimate. Heck, they don’t even react when you kill them! What’s the point in killing something that doesn’t care about its death? Very dull.
Also, to answer your unsaid question; yes, they taste like normal goblins. The flesh closest to the skin is a little broiled though, but that’s the only difference.
It’s just goblins. This makes no sense.
Out of pure spite, I killed each and every one of these that I came across, even though they didn’t have any levels.
Day and night, I trekked. And after only a little under a month, I finally reached the mountain. Or, at least, what I had assumed to be a mountain.
Hell Difficulty Fourteenth Floor Boss Stage> <[Clear Condition] Put the giant out of his misery.> Yeah, uh, that’s a guy. He’s got ears as long as that of a goat, and his skin colour is ashen and grey and his proportions are really weird, but it is absolutely some sort of guy. Maybe a huge goblin, but a dude nonetheless. Much like the smaller guys, he’s prostrated, forehead pressed tightly against the sand. He’s not exactly breathing, but I can hear his heartbeat. It’s actually so loud that if I stand too close I can feel my entire body vibrate with every beat of it. He really is the size of a mountain. At least a small one. A more apt description might be that he’s the size of a skyscraper, but now he’s all crouched down, so he’s still big, but it’s hard to tell exactly how big he is. I can’t even see his level, which is the really weird thing here. I mean, everything is weird, but that’s just a step above. So, uh… how do I kill this guy? He’s huge! Alright, alright, um… He’s only really covered in soot on top, so I can get to his skin pretty easily. There’s a gap between his elbow and knee that acts as a sort of opening, so I just kind of pass through there and put my hands to his flesh. It’s surprisingly cold. Anyway… <[Touch of Reversed Poison Resistance (Lv.1)]> <[Touch of Reversed Organ Failure Resistance (Lv.1)]> <[Touch of Reversed Brain Damage Resistance (Lv.1)]> <[Touch of Reversed Internal Damage Resistance (Lv.1)]> <[Touch of Reversed Bleeding Resistance (Lv.1)]> Touch of Reversed Resistance Lv.2> Oh, hey, neat! Just what I wanted. With this in hand, I give the same resistances a go at the next level, alongside a few other yummy treats. When I step back, I fully expect the giant to be basically dead, but… No. Nothing. He’s breathing fine, his heartbeat didn’t even twitch, his breath is still scattering sand everywhere… He’s alive. That’s a problem.