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The Tutorial Is [Way] Too Hard
109: Floor 13, The Weeping Woods

109: Floor 13, The Weeping Woods

—Closes. Yeah, thanks, very appreciated. And now, we’ll get the message about my inventory. Go on, don’t be shy. How much did my own flesh go for? It’s okay, I’m brave. I can hear it. I picked up a lot of my own skulls and hands, I’ll have you know.

your inventory has been sold

for 1 point.>

I purse my lips. Yup. Yeah. That’s… I’m not upset. Why should I be upset that all my shade stuff only sold for one point? That would be silly, haha! Y—yeah, really silly… Sniffle…

79 106 points.>

…Okay, so, one more floor and I’ll be right back where I started? Doing that favour for the gods meant nothing? Wow. This really is such a wonderful world, isn’t it? You know, maybe—just maybe—I’d be able to act in your graces if I actually knew what it was you didn’t like me doing? How can you fault me for completing the stage requirements that you made?

Ugh, I hate these gods…

Hm. Hang on a second, I just now remembered that I forgot to check Moleman’s message! That’s weird, I was so interested in reading it, too… Well, better late than never, I guess.

Let’s see here…

I’m surprised you would ask for information,

but I’m beyond glad to hear that you did.

This is far more detailed than what the

Easy Difficulty Admin told me, especially

regarding the purpose of the tutorial.

All of this about apostles and the God of Kings

is completely new to me, so I’ll be sure to ask

the Easy Admin about it once I complete

the second task of Lust. Oh, and

since you might not be familiar with

how the Purgatory stage works, erm…

It’s not what it sounds like, okay?

A shame you were only allowed to ask

five questions, but the ones you asked

were very good, if you ask me. I mean,

angels? I didn’t even know Gods had

them, so… Very interesting.

Thank you for telling me! If it’s okay with

you, I would love to write an official post

with this information. The other servers will

also no doubt be overjoyed to hear about it.>

I feel cold sweats break out across my back. Okay, so, um… This was the kind of message asking for a reply, huh? Well, gee, that’s, um…

Now I just feel bad. I can’t believe I forgot to read this before going into floor twelve. What the heck was going through my mind? Sometimes, I barely recognise myself. Now that I think about it, I’m still covered in dried, caked blood, but… That can wait.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I pull up a PM and start typing.

sry i forgt 2 respond bt um

ya sure spred it or wtvr is cool>

…I hope that’s enough. If it isn’t, I’ll just have to apologise in person the next time we meet.

I press the pop-up faster than greased lightning.

thanks for the permission! I’m sure

you’ve had your hands full with the last

two stages. I’ll be sure to credit you for

the information! Good luck with the next floor,

it’s a bit tricky, but I don’t think

it should be much trouble!>

Right, great, wonderful. That isn’t foreboding at all.

Alright. Mission: successful. Hearing Moleman describe it as a bit tricky worries me since I’m not very good with tricks, but I should be able to brute force my way through somehow. At this point, that’s my only real option. Before that, though, I need to clean myself. How am I supposed to face monsters and animals while covered head-to-toe in RED? I look ridiculous!

After carefully licking off all the blood, I remember that this room is bad, so I take an hour or so to paint it properly. You all know the routine by now. Since the next floor apparently has a number of tricks in store, I train up my drowning resistance by expertly poking holes on the inside of my throat to flood it with blood. And then, just for the sake of it, I train my concussion resistance by repeatedly bashing my head into one of the many pillars.

Do you want to enter?>

Once the message finally pops up, I at first assume it’s a hallucination brought on by the whole bashing-my-head-into-a-pillar thing. Thankfully, I recognise it just in time to press yes before it automatically chooses for me.

It isn’t just my head that whirls as I stumble forward, the world around me shifting from RED to a dark greyish within moments. A strong wind almost brings me back onto my feet, but it isn’t strong enough to counteract my wind resistance, so I still end up falling and face planting the ground. Eughh. Yeah, that’s a good start. I can feel the pebbles and dirt between my teeth…

Grumbling to myself, I push myself to my feet. This place is…?

Hell Difficulty Thirteenth Floor:

The Weeping Woods>

<[Clear Condition]

Make it through the weeping woods

to reach the tower of ash.>

It almost looks like the forest of the fourth floor, but I can’t say for sure, because—for one—I can actually see this floor. It’s a big leafless forest. All that’s above us is a dreary grey sky, but it isn’t dark, so I don’t think it’s nighttime. Will this floor have the passing of time? I have no idea.

That said, the forest itself is honestly completely overshadowed by a tiny little detail that is actively making my skin crawl.

All that I can hear, even louder than the whine of the wind, is a loud weeping and sniffling and sobbing and wailing. That’s all. It’s ever-present, and it sounds like it’s being made by several thousand people, all at once, everywhere around me. Some close by, others far away, all in their own tempo and tone. Some are wailing so loudly they can be heard from several kilometres away, and others are simply sniffling and weeping, almost in complete silence.

But I can’t see anyone. I can’t smell anyone. Not a single human or goblin is present for miles around. However, even in the absence of actual humans or goblins, I can still smell blood.

It’s not coming from me, but I smell it as though it were only metres away. Everywhere around. The whole forest is filled with the scent of blood. But most closely, I can smell it coming from that tree over there. It isn’t very big. Its swirling bark is rugged and scarred as though it's been clawed at by beasts and its branches are crooked and jut out in random directions without any clear sense of purpose. I step close to it. It doesn’t smell like a tree at all.

In the trunk of the tree, I can see a gaping hole, just beneath two hollow openings. Through that hole, a low, mellow moan can be heard, painfully rasping out of the wood. What is—

A clawed foot like that of a massive bird snakes around the trunk of the tree, gouging deep gashes through the bark. From those gashes, RED blood seeps in the place of sap.

I stare in stunned confoundation as a goblin-like creature, with the wings and under-body of a massive bird but the torso and head of a female goblin, cranes around the side of the tree.

I’m less surprised by the appearance of the harpy than I am by the fact that the loud sobbing and wailing is coming not from the tree, but from her. Neverending tears stream down her face, briefly washing away some of the blood that stains her mouth and the front of her chest. A single whiff of her scent makes me acutely aware that apart from the blood-filled trees, the entire forest is filled with nothing but harpies.

Her flaming eyes look me up and down. “Meat? Meat?” she squawks, her voice hoarse from the crying and screaming. I take a step back. She reluctantly detaches herself from the tree and goes onto the ground. But she doesn’t walk like a bird does. Even though her legs are—like birds—double-jointed, she has the entire lower part planted firmly on the ground, as though she was walking on normal feet.

Fanged jaw trembling, she reaches out her bloodied feathers towards me, like a beggar asking for spare change. “Meat? Please, let me have your flesh, only an arm will do! Please, I beg of you. Whatever creature you are, from whatever clan you herald, let me have some of your flesh so that I needn’t feed off of Petyr anymore!”

In firm confusion, I can do nothing more than continue taking steps back, away from her. But she’s as persistent as a beggar woman, and for some reason, she won’t attack me. She’s just stepping closer. Why ask when you can take? As soon as she attacks, I’ll fight back. Not when she’s just approaching me, though. She isn’t doing anything. Why won’t she attack?