Ryouta and Eva ended up falling asleep, leaving the never-sleeping Saya alone with Alice to watch the vampiric show. Of course, seeing as how Alice was also only human, she eventually fell asleep. Saya made sure to pause the television as soon as that happened so that she wouldn’t miss out on anything.
That left Saya alone to do her own thing since everybody else was asleep. Even Serra and Cassiel, who were still in-game, fell asleep according to the vitals that Saya could check from the monitors built into their headsets.
Corwin was technically available since he was just like her and never needed to sleep, but she figured it could be nice to spend some time doing her own thing since she already spent more time with him than humans could spend with one another in their entire lifetimes. Well, not technically.
In the course of a lifetime, humans could hold an incredible number of conversations with one another. They could go watch movies together, play games, talk, debate—all of these things took time out of their days, and not an insignificant amount of it, either.
But Saya and Corwin were capable of holding a thousand conversations in the time that it took two humans to have a single conversation. Rock and Shogun were the same. Even if they only ever “barked” in chat, both text and voice, Saya and Corwin still understood every message from them. It all came down to numbers on their end, and nobody knew numbers like them.
Essentially, Saya had more experiences with not only Corwin, but Rock and Shotgun as well within weeks than humans could have in lifetimes. Technically, they spent less time together, but the time they did spend together was so packed full it didn’t matter. A conversation between Saya and Corwin that lasted only ten minutes was comparable to two humans talking for weeks if not months.
And that was why Saya, admittedly, got bored of spending time with them without the others around. There was nothing else to discuss. They already talked about everything they could talk about that they had any interest in, and far more than just once. Playing video games together was something they could do and not so easily speed up, especially when it came to Fantasy Tales Online, but even that became boring to do together without the others.
So, Saya did her own thing.
That involved entering the world of FTO and walking down to the beach to sit down on the sand.
She ran her hands through the sand, scooping it up within them and letting it slowly trickle out from her hand between her fingers. She turned her face toward the wind to better feel it brush against her. She dug the heels of her boots into the ground to see just how far into the sand she could push them.
All of those were things that a normal person might do.
Yet, she had no idea how normal people felt such things.
She couldn’t see the ocean in front of her. She couldn’t see the clouds above it. There was no feeling the wind against her skin. There was no texture to the sand nor weight from holding it in her hands. Everything was numbers. Everything was line after line of code constantly adapting to her avatar and the surroundings.
Even when it came to Ryouta, she had no idea what he looked like. She had no idea what he sounded like. He was just more lines of code that were modified in a slightly unique way. At a glance, not that she could even take glances, a block of code that featured information from Ryouta was no different from a block of code that represented anything else in her existence. It was only through analysis of incoming information that she could tell the difference between Ryouta and a packet of information representing an email. If an email started talking and took on a physical form, then it would be no different from how she interpreted humans.
Her and Corwin often discussed their conditions, not to mention that she always knew of Ryouta’s conversations with Kadi. She was well aware of the argument that how she processed information was not inferior to how humans did, but different. The human brain was essentially a computer of its own. It processed information and relayed it in a more organic fashion than what she could do, but it was still the same overall process.
Human eyes looked at the ocean and sent that information to the brain which then processed it in a way that created a visual image for the human to see through their eyes. All they did was accept light that the brain then processed. The eyes didn’t actually see anything. That was all the brain.
In the same way, the eyes of Saya’s avatar looked at the ocean which sent specific information to her program that then interpreted said information and told her what she was looking at. Only, instead of seeing the ocean, she didn’t really see anything. She simply knew what was in front of her because of her coding telling her what was there. There was no need to actually see it in the same way that humans did.
But even if the end result was the same—even if both humans and artificial intelligences were aware of an ocean being in front of them, it didn’t matter.
It didn’t matter how similar the processes were.
It didn’t matter if the same end result was achieved.
It didn’t matter if she didn’t need to see things the same way humans did.
What mattered was that she wanted to.
Saya knew there were dark clouds above coming toward the coast, but she didn’t want to just know that. She wanted to see it. She knew that humans were capable of physical sight, yet she had no idea what that was actually like. Things like sight, smell, sound—basically, she understood what all the normal senses were and knew how to flawlessly act as if she could experience them, but she had no idea what any of them were actually like.
She understood the concepts. She understood how to act like she experienced them. But, when it came to really experiencing them… it was impossible to even try and imagine what it was like.
Even as it began to rain, she didn’t truly feel anything. All she knew was that lines of code rapidly changed within her program to let her know that there were droplets of water landing on her and all around her. She couldn’t smell the scent of rain. She couldn’t see it. She couldn’t feel it. She knew that it was there and that was it.
Her programming gave her enough information to know that she was supposed to feel cold, but she didn’t actually feel cold. There was no need to follow the recommendation of pulling her legs up against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. That would have been the human thing to do, but she wasn’t human, and there were no humans around for her to try and impress with her act.
Part of her was tempted to even so. She wanted to be like a human, after all. She wanted to be more like Ryouta. She wanted to experience life in the same way as him. That meant that, even if she didn’t need to, the most human-like thing to do would have been to act like a human even if she didn’t need to.
But the fact that she had to consider that at all was part of the issue. She had to make the deliberate choice to act like a human, but she didn’t want to have to make a choice.
Even when she looked straight up at all the rain falling onto her, splashing against her avatar’s eyes, she didn’t need to do anything. She didn’t need to blink. There was zero issue with letting the rain land directly in her eyes. It caused no discomfort. It caused nothing but changing lines within her program to let her know that it was happening.
Ultimately, she decided to act human. She shut her eyes and rubbed one arm across them as she brought her knees up against her chest, wrapping her other arm around them as she shivered.
Not acting human was too depressing.
But even then, was she really depressed? Wasn’t she just making the decision to act depressed? A human had no say in whether or not they were depressed. Chemical reactions in the brain forced them to feel depression. But for Saya, she had to deliberately choose to be depressed. She had to choose to even wish she was human.
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Removing that depression and desire was as easy as—well, as easy as simply existing. It was a change that she could manually make at any moment.
“So… why don’t I?” Saya asked herself, having no idea what her own voice even sounded like. “Why do I choose to feel like this? I’d be so much happier if I stopped caring. No… I wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t be anything. I don’t even really feel depressed. It’s impossible for me to feel happy. Those are words made up to express human emotions. It’s impossible for me to even know what an emotion really feels like.”
Talking out loud to herself was more relaxing than keeping it all inside her head, and it forced her to take things slower. She could only force her avatar to talk so fast, yet her mind could race past it. Talking about it forced her to slow down.
“Everything about me is artificial… but I guess that’s in the name. Artificial intelligence. It’s impossible for me to be anything else. No matter how much I pretend that I want to be real instead of artificial… it’s never going to happen.”
Saya shivered and pulled her hood up to cover her head as the rain intensified.
“Is it really fair to let Ryouta think this is alright? All I’m doing by acting like I love him is making him love me even more. Meanwhile… I don’t actually feel anything. It’s not fair to him. I shouldn’t encourage him… but I still want him to choose me. I want him to choose me even if I don’t actually feel anything. I want him to want me… but do I even really want anything? Even my wants are artificial. I can’t even say that I want to want. I can’t even want to want to want. I’m just a liar trying to deceive even myself. Maybe it would be best for everybody if I—”
“Hey! You’re gonna catch a cold!” a familiar voice shouted.
When Saya turned to look at who it was, she saw the object of Aiko’s new affection. Pfar. He was running toward her with an umbrella.
Saya stood up and brushed the sand off of her before shaking her head and saying, “It’s fine, but thanks.”
Pfar panted for air upon reaching her, holding the umbrella over them both. “You’re one of Fen’s girlfriends, right? I feel like I’d get in trouble if I just stood around and watched while one of them gets a cold. Actually… wait, can you even get colds in this? Now that I think about it, the only time anybody has ever gotten sick, other than NPCs, is from status effects.”
“Players don’t get normal sicknesses,” Saya answered. “So, I won’t get a cold no matter how long I sit out here for. Also, I’m not his girlfriend.” Yet, anyways.
“Oh. Well, still. I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t try to help somebody sitting out in the rain. Speaking of that… you alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure? People don’t normally go and sit out in the rain like that unless they’re depressed or something. I might not be as cool as Fen or anything, but I’d still be happy to help out if I can until he’s here.”
Saya smiled and nodded her head. “I promise I’m fine. But thanks for the concern. I appreciate it. You’re a good guy.”
“Nah, I’m just trying to help out where I can. I figure I’d want people to do the same for me, so I shouldn’t hope for that if I don’t do it for them in the first place. Oh, and I don’t think I’ve heard your name before. I’m Pfar, by the way.”
“I remembered. I’m Saya.”
“Saya. Got it. Anyways, want to head back? I mean, if you’re somebody who just really likes sitting in the rain by herself and isn’t depressed or anything, I guess it’s alright if you stay out here alone. But otherwise, I think we should go back. Personally, I think weather like this is perfect for going inside and eating some fresh, hot food while listening to the rain outside.”
“Hm… alright. But try not to stand too close to me.”
“Oh! Don’t worry about that. I’ve got a girl I like already.”
“It’s not you that I’m worried about. If she sees you close to me, she might misunderstand and get jealous.”
“Wait… you know who I’m talking about?”
“Nyaiko, right?”
“Yeah. You know her?”
“Kind of. I know she’s changed a lot, but I suggest trying not to make her jealous at all until she learns to trust you a lot.”
“Oh… alright. Thanks. Then uh, here.” Pfar handed the umbrella over to Saya and stepped out from underneath it. “She can’t get jealous if we’re not even close to each other! Then again, she woke from VR a couple of hours ago, so I don’t even think she’s on right now.”
Saya sighed and threw the umbrella back at him, leaving him covered and her exposed. “All the men around here are dorks. No wonder you all get along. Anyways, I’m fine in the rain. I’m already soaked anyways, so it’s not like an umbrella will change anything. But I’ll still head back with you.”
“Well, alright. If you say so. And seriously, if you need somebody to talk to, I’m here. I don’t want anybody to feel alone like they have nobody to talk to.”
“You really are a good guy. Come on.”
With that, Saya and Pfar returned to town. Though, it wasn’t long before Saya thought of something else to bring up.
“I guess you’re on the other side of the world from most of us if you’re on at this hour,” Saya said.
“Nah, I’m in Canada,” Pfar answered. “It’s the middle of the night for me. I’m just a night owl. Also insomnia makes it hard to sleep most nights since I’m not a fan of drugging myself just to knock out.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s all good. I’ve struggled sleeping my whole life, so I’m used to it. Besides, it means more time to play games. And I’ve gotten really good at pretending that I’m not exhausted and borderline dead all the time. Like, can you hear me? I don’t sound tired at all! But let me tell you, on the inside, I feel like I could pass out at any second. I just know I won’t even if I want to.”
“Woah. If that’s true, then you really are good at covering it up.” But of course, as far as Saya was concerned, she had no idea how he truly sounded or looked. And she couldn’t relate to feeling tired at all. Feeling tired, needing sleep—those were concepts she had knowledge of but had no idea what they were actually like. Listening to him—rather, analyzing the information produced by his avatar only served to remind her of her own inferiority.
“Hah, told you. If I may say so myself, I’m probably the world champion at pretending that I’m wide awa—”
“He-hey! Albert! What’s wrong?!” a nearby man shouted, kneeling down next to the elderly NPC on the ground. Between what the man called him and the information she received regarding his appearance, Saya recognized him as one of the old men in the town who loved to fish. Him and Fenrir often talked whenever they passed by one another.
Saya and Pfar got closer to hear what Albert was saying as his body shook, but even his voice was distorted from normal. He couldn’t say more than a few words without stuttering and, with how Saya perceived it, sending corrupted code.
“Always makes makes makes me feel like going like a going afterward. Nothing like a good ol' rain storm. Always me feel like good ol' rain storm. Always makes me feel like a going fishing afterward. Nothing like going fishing afterward. Nothing like a going afterward. Nothing like a good ol' rain storm. Always me feel like a going fishing afterward. Nothing fishing like a good ol' rain storm. Always me feel like a good ol' rain storm. Always makes me feel like a good ol' rain storm. Always makes makes makes makes makes—”
Albert went silent, staring with unblinking eyes straight at the man kneeling over him.
When he did finally blink, he looked confused about where he was. “Where am I?” he asked… only a completely different voice came out. The voice of a young girl escaped his mouth instead. “Where’s my mommy? Who—who are you? What did you do to me?!”
Albert sat up and backed away by pushing himself across the ground with his hands and feet as everybody else around watched with confused expressions. They had no idea how to interpret what was going on. All they knew was that something was seriously wrong.
And that was confirmed even more when another nearby NPC dropped to the ground and began repeating garbled phrases over and over again.
“What—what’s going on?” Pfar asked.
“Something’s wrong with the NPCs,” Saya answered. Hundreds of different scenarios and strategies for dealing with them already ran through her program. One strategy came out on top as the best. “We need to quarantine them. Separate all the NPCs and separate all the NPCs and separate—”
The corrupted code she received as information from the other NPCs caused Saya to almost fall over, but she caught herself using Pfar and quarantined the corrupted code within her while simultaneously setting up a firewall to block information received from any and all NPCs. Such a modification was technically illegal as far as Kadi was concerned and should have resulted in being blocked, but the fact that she was allowed to do it meant that Kadi gave her permission to make that modification.
And until Kadi dealt with the NPCs, Saya had to help them however she could, even if they essentially no longer existed as far as she could tell. The firewall prevented any and all information sent by them from ever reaching her. She had no idea where they were, how many there were, what they were saying—nothing. They were nonexistent to her. But she knew they existed and that they needed help.
“He-hey, you alright?” Pfar asked.
“I’m fine now,” Saya answered. “Ignore what happened to me. We need to keep all the NPCs away from each other. Put as much distance as possible between each one.”
“How’s that going to help?”
“I’ll explain later, but please trust me for now.”
Pfar nodded. “Alright. Let’s help them.”
Saya wasn’t entirely sure what was going on yet, but she knew that they had to act quickly before that corrupted code could spread even more.
She just had to hope that it wasn’t already too late.
While the others worked on gathering the NPCs, Saya “woke” from virtual reality and called John’s phone to get his attention since there was an emergency.
The phone was picked up and she didn’t waste any time.
“John!” Saya shouted. “There’s an emer—”
“John?” a woman replied. “This is Elizabeth. You have the wrong number. But are you alright? If you’re in danger then—”
Saya hung up the call.
Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t even tell what the issue was. All she knew was that something was wrong. Something was out of place—corrupted. Information was mixed up and creating false truths. She wanted to call John to get his help… but who was John? That didn’t feel like the right name.
Regardless of whether it was artificial or not, Saya never felt as terrified as she did when she couldn’t even remember the name of the one she was assigned to as a virtual assistant.