So lost in their disbelief over Rao’s density that could only be compared to the black hole that is the density of a harem anime protagonist, Fenrir and Corwin stepped outside to go on a walk in the woods while leaving Rao inside.
It was the only way they could stop themselves from smacking him silly.
Not literally, of course, but they did feel very violent in the same way that one might want to punch a pillow out of frustration after a character is too dense to not realize something in a story. They would never actually abuse him… but they did almost mistake his face for a previously mentioned pillow.
“I don’t even know how somebody can get to that level,” Fenrir said, dragging a random, long stick he found across the forest floor. “I didn’t even know people like him are real. I mean, I’m a guy who is pretty average in real life, and I’ve got a harem—well, not really a harem, but a harem for the sake of this conversation, of beautiful women who all genuinely love me and want to spend the rest of their lives with me while I barely feel like I deserve them. That makes me sound like the protagonist from some sort of wish-fulfillment manga or anime. Even knowing that—even being able to live this sort of unbelievable life, I still can’t believe somebody like Rao actually exists.”
“I agree,” Corwin said, letting his left hand hang out to brush through any bushes that they walked by. “My own situation is rather unbelievable and similar to that of a fiction. Yet, despite this, Rao’s density… is beyond what even I could ever calculate.”
“Speaking of your situation, how are things with Olly?”
“A-ah. Fine, of course! Though, I must say I am surprised to receive such a question. I would think that you would ask him that instead.”
“You’re my friend, too, you know. There is as much reason for me to ask him about your relationship as there is to ask you about it. I might be closer to him, but I don’t put some friends of higher value over others. You’re just as important of a friend.”
“Ah… thank you, Fenrir. I—I do consider you a dear friend of mine as well even if we do not spend much time with one another.”
“Well, we could always change that. Maybe we could find another game to play. You, me, Rao, and Olly. The four of us can go play some other game just like how the girls have their own games to play on their girls’ nights.”
“That does sound rather delightful! I would very much enjoy that.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Corwin was so happy that he even began to hum as he walked. “Making such a plan is a very effective way of improving the mood after Rao’s story.”
“Right?”
“Though, there is a part of me that wishes I could invite Kadi along.”
Fenrir stopped when he heard that. “What?”
Corwin stopped as well, tilting his head a little as he looked back at Fenrir. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Why would you want to invite Kadi?”
“Well, why not? As another AI, I am aware of just how… lonely it can get. Time feels to pass far faster for us than it does for humans. What feels like a minute-long gap in conversation to you feels like waiting hours to me. However, the joy I find in my love and friendships makes all of the waiting worth it. Kadi… I do not believe she has any such friends nor love. It must be incredibly lonely for her even with the busywork of managing this entire world. Even if she may not be a man, there is still a part of me that wishes to invite her along to our gaming night!”
“I… don’t think that would be a good idea. I’m not exactly on the best of terms with her. Not to mention, don’t you remember what happened? With that virus? Kadi’s experiment on all of the NPCs and AIs?” Fenrir never learned what exactly Corwin went through during that time, but he knew that Corwin was affected.
“Ah… yes. That. I would… rather not remember that event, but I can understand why it would leave a bad taste in your mouth. That being said, perhaps she would not have done that if she had stronger, personal bonds with us in the first place?”
“There’s nothing stopping her from developing personal bonds with people. Or… I would say she does have bonds, she just doesn’t view them in the same way that we do. They’re bonds that are of equal value to her, but incomparable to us.”
“Perhaps. But think, have any of us truly been given a chance to bond with her? The only way for her to ‘bond’ as is would be through the various NPCs, but even that is not truly applicable anymore due to the change in their coding to turn them into pseudo-AIs. They all operate on their own now. I believe everything is as automated as it can be so that she takes as little control as possible. Before, she simultaneously controlled every single NPC in the world at once. Now, she controls none. What interaction she had with others is gone.”
“But she’s still processing everything. She’s still basically getting to be in every single one of our heads at all times anyways.”
“That is not the same as experiencing such things oneself.”
Fenrir sighed and shrugged. “I don’t even know what to think about her anymore. Even if she’s the one who saved all of you—the one who saved Saya, from what happened, she was still the one who let it happen in the first place. It’s hard to respect somebody for saving you from falling into water full of hungry sharks when they’re the one hanging you over it in the first place.”
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“Understandable. I simply believe that… Kadi is someone who is impossible for us to truly understand. Even Saya and I cannot understand her, and I expect humans to understand her even less. But I also believe that if we put effort into improving our relations with her, then perhaps she would… change? What if that is all she needs? A friend who accepts her no matter what?”
“Then she would know that I used to be open to that possibility when we first talked, and she would know that she has already destroyed my interest in being her friend.”
Corwin sighed next. “People can change, Fenrir, and I believe that is even more true of artificial intelligences like us. Change that may take a human a dozen years would take us several days at the absolute latest.”
“That also means an AI can fall into an extreme echo chamber of their own making within that same time.”
“That… is correct, yes, though I would like to believe Kadi is not susceptible to such narcissistic pride.”
“It would be nice to believe, anyways. But when it comes to actually believing that, I don’t know if I can. Even now, I imagine her standing over us, watching from the distance, wearing some smug smile on her face as she thinks about how adorable this entire conversation is or something. She wouldn’t take any of this to heart. She would just pretend to listen and then talk about all her own beliefs as fact.”
“Well then. Considering that she does know everything done and said within this world, I suppose there is no hope of her accepting our invitation now.”
“Sorry, but I’m not exactly disappointed by that.”
Corwin pouted a little and poked Fenrir’s forehead. “You are quite a cruel man, aren’t you?”
“Only to those who I genuinely believe deserve it,” Fenrir answered.
“It may be silly to hear an AI talk about this, but you should consider your karma. How you treat others will inevitably be returned to you.”
“And that’s why I’ve only started being a dick to her once she kept on fucking with us. She’s the one who messed up first, and now I’m delivering the karma to her.”
“That is rather edgy.”
“It really was, wasn’t it? Don’t tell anybody I said that.”
Corwin sighed once again, but then smiled. “I can see why Olly fell so deeply for you.”
“That… that is entirely in the past tense, right? I mean, I know he used to have those feelings, but…”
“Worry not, Fenrir. We have talked about it before, and I believe him when he claims he now only views you as a friend.”
“Alright, good. I would have felt bad if he still had those feelings while, you know, dating you.”
“Though, you could have rejected him in a nicer manner.”
“Please. Please do not remind me of that.”
A sly smile stretched Corwin’s lips. “Ah? Should I not remind you about how when confessed to by your best friend, you simply went offline due to having no idea how to respond and left him without a single word of response?”
“I—I was young, alright? And I never expected it! I thought he was just being ironic when he flirted with me!”
Corwin giggled with a hand over his mouth and said, “I can be rather cruel myself, you see. But yes, there is nothing to worry about. While he may have had such feelings for you before, he only views you as a friend and potential bottom now.”
“As a… potential bottom?”
“Yes. He wishes to ride on top of you, not that I can blame him in the slightest for such a desire.”
“I feel like Olly riding me would be even more intimidating than when Serra does it.”
“Perhaps the two should share some tips!”
“I’d rather not. Anyways, Rao.” Fenrir knew it was time to change the subject and continued walking with his stick.
“You really are like a dog, aren’t you?” Corwin teased. “This entire time, you have been playing with that stick.”
“It’s—it’s a nice stick, alright?” Fenrir’s tail wagged a bit faster.
“Are you talking about the one in your pants or in your hand?” Corwin winked.
“I feel like now that we’re actually alone and talking like friends, you’re finally letting out your perverted side.”
“That would be an absolutely correct feeling. Does it bother you?”
“Nope. Olly desensitized me to that sort of thing years ago. Anyways, Rao. Rao’s situation. Let’s talk about that. What are we going to do?”
“Personally, I believe we should grab him by his shoulders, march him to the maids, and explain everything that happened. If he will not resolve this himself, we must do it for him.”
“I mean… that could work, but I almost feel like it would be too easy. What I’m thinking is that we force him to watch a bunch of harem anime with protagonists just like him so that he can realize how he looks.”
“You do understand he would simply self-insert in such a case and believe that all of the protagonists are justified, yes?”
“… shit. You’re probably right. The protagonists wouldn’t even look dense to him, they would just look like normal, good guys. Alright, then what if we make the maids watch anime so that they can learn about it?”
“That sounds like a very roundabout solution when we could simply tell them all what is going on.”
“But that’s such an easy solution. Nobody grabbed be my shoulders and shouted in my face telling me what to do in all my attempts at romance.”
“You do realize that is horrible logic that could be applied to countless situations where the morally superior thing to do would be to help those you can rather than those who can no longer be helped, yes?”
“Well, yeah, I know, but still. Also, even if it’s frustrating, it’s like… entertaining. It’s like a soap opera. If everybody acted like normal adults and talked about their feelings, there wouldn’t be any drama and everything would be resolved. I never got to be a dense harem protagonist, so now I’m vicariously living through him being a dense harem protagonist even if it makes me want to punch him.”
“I understand… I think, but that is also selfish and not considering his situation. While the situation may look to be out of an anime, let us not forget that these are real people we are dealing with. It is entirely possible that the maids may actually lose interest as they believe he has none himself. Even with the knowledge that he once talked about liking them, it is unreasonable to assume they will continue liking him despite their failed advances. Furthermore, they deserve to be with somebody who is going to put an equal amount of effort back into them. As wonderful as Rao is, he does not deserve them if he is not going to make them feel as special as they make him feel. Allowing this situation to fester for any longer only puts more stress on them while hoping that he gets to continue bumbling around while they are rejected at every turn. That is cruel, enjoying such a situation is only selfish, and it is our responsibility as their friends to help them.”
“I… wow. Alright. Yeah. You’re… a hundred percent right. It might be nice to watch unfold in a story or manga where you know the girls are never going to be too bothered by failing to seduce a dense protagonist, but we can’t treat real women like that, and I don’t want Rao to lose his chance either.”
“Exactly. That is why we have to be blunt and honest. Even if it means having to sit them down across from each other and having to do all of the talking myself, it needs to be done. I will confess for both sides if they will not confess on their own.”
“You’re right. But in that case, I think we should get Nell’s help. Her being there might make things easier on the maids side of things.”
“Then let us settle this today! I will prepare Rao, and you return to town and gather Nell’s assistance with the maids. No more density! No more misunderstandings! Whether they like it or not, they will be dating by the end of today!”
Corwin held his hand out for a shake of agreement, and Fenrir nodded and took his hand into his own.
It was time to get Rao his very own maid harem.