Seeing Annabelle on his doorstep was more heart-lifting than it used to be. Jack hugged her tight and kissed her forehead; she’d wanted the more intimate things private, and he’d respect that. She barely had any white left in her aura while in his presence. Now there was so much pink it was amusing.

“It’s going to be hard to wait until Sunday,” she whispered. “For alone time.”

“We don’t have to wait that long.”

“We do. My job is getting more demanding now. I have to take on more patients, at least for now.”

“Then either you let me kiss you for real now, or we have patience.”

She blushed. “Patience.”

Jack nodded and let her go, watching her walk to her car before going inside.

The kitchen was filled with tension once again when he entered. Dorian sat in his usual spot, but he was not looking at Joey. He was tapping his fingers nervously on the table and bouncing his leg as if sitting still was impossible. Joey sat quietly, his gaze sheepish.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked.

“Dorian doesn’t want to teach me anymore.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Dorian said, still not meeting Joey’s eyes. “I told you, I just need a little break, that’s all. Besides, we need to focus on our next plan. We need to give Lucifer something good and actually make better progress with this whole thing.”

Dorian called for the others to join them as Jack sat at the table, watching Joey look at him sadly. There was no doubt in Jack’s mind that Dorian’s reason was more than just for planning, but he decided to ask anyway. Making sure Joey was still looking at him, he thought, Is it because of what you know?

Joey nodded.

Once Miles and Cameron had joined them at the table, Dorian said, “Jack, I know you’re technically the leader, but I hope you’ll allow me to outline a proposal for what we can do next.”

“Sure, if it keeps me from getting slaughtered on Sunday.”

“Good. So, Cameron has a full tour booked with us opening for a much larger band. This is going to give us a massive boost, as many more people will hear our music and spread the word, hopefully eventually reaching Buriel, and hopefully tempting him as well as it did Joey. That won’t start for a few weeks though. In the meantime, we should consider having all of us learn to drive and have Cameron make us a car.”

“You want us to drive the bus now?” Miles asked.

“No. I suggest you shut up and listen. I have plotted a potential route that traces everything within a three-hour radius of Buriel’s summoning point. Much of that is rural areas or smaller cities where doing shows is not feasible. I propose we conduct our own road trip. If we infiltrate enough systems along the route, we’re bound to find the identities of the other two human hosts.” Dorian looked at Jack, pleased with himself. “Well, leader?”

“Sounds cool and all,” Jack said, “but Lucifer is already asking how the identities of the hosts are going to help us. I had to bullshit my way out of that question once already.”

“Isn’t it obvious? How are we supposed to find them if we don’t know their human form?”

“I know what they look like.”

“Yes, but we don’t. We should all be equally in the know about what we’re searching for. Don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter what I think. If Lucifer doesn’t like it, then I’m the one who pays the price. Though if things go on too long, he’ll probably bring you all back for a taste too. He already threatened it last time.”

“I know it’s not ideal,” Dorian said, and Jack saw something in his eyes that was different. A lack of the typical disdain, perhaps. “But unless anyone has any other ideas, that’s all we can do right now.”

Miles leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “My only idea is Luc needs to get his head out of his ass and help us out a little here. Maybe he’s just playing a game with us. Don’t you think if he really wanted to catch Buriel, he’d have put a lot more effort into it years ago?”

“I can assure you this is no game,” Jack said. “I am reminded of that fact every week. He might take pleasure in torturing me, but he definitely only does it when he’s pissed. He leaves me alone when I have good news.”

“It’s true,” Dorian said. “As ridiculous as I’ve always thought this whole scheme was, Lucifer does not play games. Perhaps he is having a bit of fun with the whole music thing and that has clouded his judgment on this, but I’m willing to bet his fear of Buriel having more power than him by having free reign on Earth is what is driving him to want this done. And making him angrier when it doesn’t go well.” He looked at Jack again. “Do you think you can present this well enough to come back unscathed?”

Jack pondered the words for a moment. The last part of his sentence seemed out of character. “I’ll do my best,” he said.

There was silence at the table for a while before Joey finally spoke. “So…do I get to go on this road trip too? If Annie lets me, of course, which she probably won’t.”

“Yes,” Dorian said, avoiding eye contact. “I’m hoping Jack’s unacceptable relationship with the angel will actually prove useful in convincing her to allow you to join us. Ideally without her tagging along.” He glared at Jack.

“I can most likely do that, yes,” Jack said.

“Good. Now, I’m sure there are demon rulers, particularly in the north, that would be able to give us the knowledge of driving, but I think it’s safe to say that none of us are interested in the agony of that process, so I propose we learn on our own. We technically already have the license that humans use for it. Those cards we got. And plenty of stupid humans can do it, why not us?”

“I can help with that,” Joey said. “I can’t drive yet, but I know how a car works. I watch Annie drive every day.”

“Works for me,” Dorian said, though his voice hinted that he wasn’t keen on working too closely with Joey. “So here’s the plan, with your blessing of course,” he continued while looking at Jack. “First, Cameron gets to work on making a car.”

“I’m sorry, but how the fuck do I make a car?” Cameron was leaning forward.

“How did you make that guitar?”

“I had Jack’s to copy from.”

“Fair. I’ll find some schematics and I’ll help you analyze it so you can build it. All of us can help by finding or buying materials to use.”

“We have a ton of money,” Cameron said. “Can’t we just buy one?”

“Buying a car requires a paper trail. We’ve already risked a lot of paper trail with our touring and royalty payments.”

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“Yeah, and when I spend days or weeks building something I know nothing about and it ends up not working, we’ve wasted more time and I get tortured by Lucifer.”

“We were provided with a bunch of stuff when we first got here,” Jack said. “They got us this whole house and studio and everything. Maybe they can get us a car.”

Dorian raised his eyebrows. “Well, if you’re willing to ask Lucifer for that favor, go for it. That would make things easier indeed.”

“I’ll see how the rest of the conversation goes first. Might not even get that far.”

“True. But we should still plan for everything. I’ll show you my route and all the places I’m thinking of infiltrating. Perhaps the more details you can give Lucifer, the more likely he’ll agree to our idea.”

“Nice of you to consider this ‘our’ idea,” Miles said, smirking.

Dorian shrugged. “Yes, it is technically my idea. But we’re supposed to be a team, may as well act like it.”

“Something’s up with you, man.” Miles’s smirk became a smile. “It’s almost like…you’re being nice or something.”

“Call it what you will. We all have the same goal here and we’ve made it this far with very few issues. Might as well embrace what we have together.”

* * *

“He wants to know so badly. It’s eating him up inside.”

Joey stood in the center of the studio, blurting out the words as soon as he and Jack reached the bottom of the stairs.

“He looks more scared than interested,” Jack said. He was concerned about the change in Dorian’s behavior. As the day had gone on, he’d become even more uncomfortable around Joey while at the same time not hiding from him despite the opportunity.

“He is,” Joey said. “He’s arguing with himself, trying to convince himself he can handle the truth, that he should take advantage of gaining knowledge that no other demon servants get to have. But yeah, he’s scared. He’s actually really afraid of finding out he was a bad person. He might seem like a real jerk right now, but deep down I think he has the ability to be nice. That’s why he’s scared. He doesn’t want to see himself as bad.”

“Of course not. He thinks he’s the best demon servant in existence. The truth would scar that.”

“I’m not convinced that’s how he truly feels. At least not entirely. There’s something more to him.” Joey stepped closer. “You’re a Soul Reacher. You can connect to him, right? Maybe you can figure out what it is.”

Jack shook his head. “Any time I’ve ever tried to connect like that, he electrocutes me. Maybe he’ll come around eventually. Just give him time.” As they sat in their stools with their guitars, Jack said, “I’m surprised you’re going on about that instead of how mad you are at me and Annie.”

Joey sighed. “I’m not mad at you. Well, kinda. I know what you guys did last night.” To Jack’s surprise, Joey looked more sad than angry. “She doesn’t know what you are, but you know what she is, yet you still do…that. I’m not saying you should tell her, but don’t you think that’s a little unfair? And just wrong? An angel and a demon?”

“I know it’s wrong in that context. But you need to understand that I’m not an ordinary demon. I’m not taking advantage of her. I care about her as if I were a hundred percent human.”

“But you’re not. And she doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know that this dream fantasy she has in her head is all for nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

“She asked me if I’d like it if you were my uncle one day. Think about that, what that means.”

Jack raised his eyebrows. That was certainly a twist he did not expect. “Seriously?”

“Yes.” Joey’s eyes began to tear up. “She’s crazy in love with you and she’s gonna end up with her heart super broken in the end. Even if she never finds out what you are and you just quietly disappear after this is all over, she’s gonna be so hurt. I don’t want to see that happen. If you really were human, I’d be happy. But you’re going along with this knowing full well that it’s going to end. Do you want to hurt her like that?”

“Of course not.” It came out more like a whisper. He was ashamed to admit he had not thought about that, how the end would affect her. How could he claim to care about her, to love her, and not think of that? But to end it now and witness her sorrow every day sounded more painful than what the end might hold. “I can’t change how I feel, Joey. I can’t explain to you why I won’t end things now. It won’t change your mind. All I can promise is that I will give her all the happiness I can give, so that when I leave—and I’ll do my best to make it as painless as possible—she’ll have positive memories to hold on to. I know how precious memories are. I just hope I won’t have them taken away again.”

Jack knew Joey was reading his thoughts. There was a very good possibility that he would be wiped clean after this if he were to resume his usual work on Earth. Even more reason to enjoy every single moment of happiness now, even if he never remembered it again.

“I understand,” Joey said, though he clearly wasn’t happy about conceding. “Just…try not to hurt her too much, okay?”

“I’ll try my best. And you know, my feelings include you. I’m going to take advantage of every moment we have, you and me. As long as you stop being mad at me.”

Joey smiled a little. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad that you can’t be real.”

“I’m real in your heart, and that’s all that matters.”

* * *

It was late in the evening when a very exhausted Annabelle arrived to pick up Joey. Jack gave her a long, tight hug and felt all her tension slip away. “You’re a strong woman, you know that?” he whispered in her ear. “Don’t ever forget that. And don’t ever change.” She reluctantly pulled away, and Jack watched them from the front steps until they had driven out of sight.

Back in the living room he was met by Miles and Cameron. Expecting a lecture of some sort based on their concerned faces, he braced himself. But Miles pointed a thumb behind him toward the kitchen. “What’s up with him, do you know?” Miles asked.

Jack knew he was referring to Dorian, whom he had passed on his way from the basement to lead Joey out. He had been sitting at the table, head in his hands, not moving at the sound of their passing, and when Jack looked to Joey for possible mind reading news, the boy had mouthed, “See? I told you.”

“It’s actually a little scary,” Cameron said. “The guy who seemed to always have the answers and know what to do now looks like he’s falling apart.”

Jack nodded. “That’s because he is. It’s about the truth. His past. Joey found out who he was as a human and what he did. Why he went to Hell.”

Both Miles and Cameron gaped. “How did he find that out?” the drummer asked.

“The internet I guess. And some memory he dug out of Dorian’s brain. And now he’s torn apart because he’s afraid of the truth. I’m going to try to talk to him.”

Sitting at the table, Jack fully expected to be snapped at, to be told to go away and mind his own business, but Dorian did not move from his motionless, desolate state. He had collapsed so drastically in only one day. But the soul connection with Jack, though weaker than what he had with the others, was still intact.

“Hey,” Jack said.

Dorian said nothing.

“I know you probably think you don’t want to talk about it, but you actually do. And I know you probably think some loser from the west doesn’t know shit and isn’t worth talking to, but—”

“Do you know?” Dorian had not looked up.

“Know what?”

“He talks to you. Did he tell you? About me? What he knows?”

Jack pondered telling him that he knew only one thing, but decided against it. “No. I told him it wouldn’t be fair for me to know and not you.”

Dorian looked up slightly, surprised. For a demon with no need for sleep, he looked exhausted. “Thank you.”

“He’s worried about you, though. We all are. It’s tearing you apart.”

Dorian covered his face again. “I’m sure you’d like to know my past, give you something more to judge me about.”

He’s afraid of being judged? “I’m not the kind of guy that’s going to hunt for reasons to put you down despite how much you do it to me. I’m only here to say that maybe knowing the truth will hurt less than you’re hurting now. We can’t afford to have you crumbling like this.”

Dorian leaned his head on one hand. “Tell me, Jack. If you had this opportunity, would you take it? Would you let him tell you?”

Jack took a deep breath. He had been leaning toward declining such an offer if ever presented, but seeing the crumbling man next to him at the table made him rethink. “I think this time we’ve been given on Earth, all this additional free will, free reign, has been a gift we can’t ignore. It will all be gone one day. We’ll be back to our normal duties or doing something else but with the same restrictions we used to have. We might even have all these new memories removed in the end. So I’ve been living every day in the best way I can, to take in as much opportunity and happiness as possible, even if I end up not remembering it forever. We have to live in the moment while we do this mission. So I think if Joey found out my past, something about my life as a human, I’d accept it.”

“You aren’t scared of what monster you might have been?”

“Of course I am. But the fact that you’re actually scared of knowing that says a lot about who you are right now. I feel so human now, and I think maybe you do too. Because what kind of demon would be afraid of being evil if there wasn’t a human element inside?”

They met eyes and Jack saw a Dorian he had never seen before. He took the risk of gently connecting like he’d had before, that maybe by some chance it would comfort him.

Sad-scared-why-should I?-maybe-no-yes-should

Dorian pulled the connection apart, leaving their continuous one intact as he looked away. “I hate when you do that.”

“Thanks for not electrocuting me.”

He shrugged, looking at the table again. “At least with you it doesn’t hurt, like when Joey digs through my brain. That really hurts.”

“I know. He tried it with me.”

“He didn’t find anything?”

“Nope.”

“Aren’t I so lucky.” Dorian sighed and stood. “I think I’m going to lay down. Thanks for the talk.”

Once Dorian was out of the room, Jack stayed in his chair, staring at the wall. Did Dorian actually respect him now? He wouldn’t hold on to that prospect, but he smiled anyway. He just hoped he would make the right decision.