There had been a particular change within Dorian’s brain when he began talking about evolution. It was as if the information didn’t need to be dug through to find what was buried underneath; it just floated out of the way, allowing Joey to ease his way in to search for the fragment he had found before. He had very delicately connected to the still picture of the hands on the desk surrounded by scientific objects and the picture turned into a moving scene.
It was short but incredibly clear. The hands were identical to Dorian’s, nothing different about them, and the garbled sound he heard was the voice he listened to every day. He couldn’t make out any words, but the voice was there. He was looking out of the eyes of the human Dorian, gazing out at a classroom of high school students, all staring at him in confusion or concern. But before anything else could happen, Dorian the demon pulled away in pain.
“You were a teacher,” Joey insisted. “You taught high school science. I saw it. I saw your hands, heard your voice. It was you.”
Though Dorian was slowly shaking his head, he had trouble looking at Joey. “That’s not possible,” he whispered.
“Why not? It makes sense. You love science and you love teaching. Maybe what you did in your human life has something to do with what you do as a demon.”
Joey looked at Jack for affirmation, but saw only a dumbfounded stare.
“There are many reasons why it is not possible,” Dorian said, his voice still low. “First of all, our bodies are changed, so my hands would have been different.”
“Why would they change that? Maybe just your face, and since the memory is from your view, I can’t see that.”
“Also, memories don’t contain sound.”
“This did. I heard your voice.”
“You just heard me talking to you now.”
“No. I know what I heard.”
“And the memory removal procedure is highly effective. There is no way there would be anything remaining.”
“Then explain to me why there’s a clip of a man with your hands and voice teaching a high school science class. Did you do that as a demon?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
Dorian was pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. It frustrated Joey that he was in such denial. But as he read his thoughts casually then, he saw there wasn’t as much denial as there seemed.
“You’re afraid to know,” Joey said softly. “You’re afraid of what you might have done. But haven’t you ever wanted to know who you were, what you did to deserve this fate?”
Dorian looked up again. “It’s better to not know. Now please don’t do that anymore.”
Joey sighed. It was disappointing. He wanted more than anything to learn the truth, and even if Dorian never let him see that memory again, he wouldn’t give up his search.
“However,” Dorian continued, “regardless of what that was, you obviously are even more powerful than I think anyone realized.” He looked at Jack. “I think he should come with us. Think of the secrets this kid could dig up.”
As Jack raised his eyebrows thoughtfully, Joey leaned forward on the table. “What do you mean ‘come with you’? To Hell?”
“No,” Jack said. “To our concert this weekend. It’s more a mission than a show. We found where the human that Drusiel possessed is from and we want to try to find more details about him.”
“Really? Oh wow, that would be awesome. I really want to help. But…Annie won’t let me, I’m sure. Unless you can convince her you’ll be with me the whole time. That’s the only reason she lets me come here. She knows I’m safe with you.”
“With me and not them?” Jack pointed at Dorian.
Joey nodded. “She’s got those danger sensors, you know. But she says you’re safe. And I know it’s not because she—” He stopped when Jack shot him a thought telling him to shut up and not dare speak of Annie’s crush in front of anyone. “Well, anyway, either way, she probably will say no, so…”
“I’ll talk to her,” Jack said. “Alone.”
Joey caught the thought process of Jack’s sudden plan. “You’re gonna ask her ou—”
Standing suddenly, Jack motioned for Joey to follow him downstairs. Dorian didn’t seem happy about being excluded, but he didn’t follow. As soon as they were in the studio, Joey asked his question in full.
“You’re going to ask her out? Take advantage of her liking you?”
“No, of course I won’t take advantage of her. I might be a demon with a history of killing people, but if this mission—and you—have taught me anything it’s that hurting innocent people is the last thing I want to do.”
Joey blinked as he tried to understand what he’d just been told. An experienced demon had just told him he didn’t want to hurt people. It reminded him of when Jack had first told him what they were—he’d said he hated killing. And Annabelle was so insistent he was safe to be with. It really was possible for demons, true ones normally residing in Hell, to be kind.
“I know you won’t hurt her,” Joey said. “Physically, at least. But I don’t want her hurt on the inside because you lead her on or something.”
Jack chuckled. “It won’t be anything like that. Maybe it’s a bit of a peace offering, taking her out for dinner or something, but it’s just so we can talk away from everyone. I won’t pressure her or use her feelings as leverage. It just sounds like she’ll listen to me. That’s all it is. I promise.”
Joey nodded. He still worried that Annabelle would see things differently, but it was the only way. “Okay.”
* * *
“I know you’re probably pretty tired after your work day, so I would totally understand if you didn’t want to, but I was wondering if you’d like to grab dinner or something tonight.”
Annabelle froze at the words; they were completely unexpected, but ones she had secretly been hoping for. Not so secret from Joey, but certainly from Jack. It had been a very long, difficult day; Mr. Taylor had finally succumbed to his cancer that afternoon, and she had been at his side praying with him and his family. All she had wanted to do was go home and collapse on the couch to distract herself with TV. But this unexpected opportunity was not one she wanted to pass up, and was one she might not get a chance at again. Besides, perhaps a nice date would help her feel better, surely better than binge-watching shows would do.
But she stayed frozen. A date with this man was surely wrong. She waited for the guide voice to tell her so, but nothing came.
“I just need to talk to you about something,” Jack continued, stepping quite close. “Away from mind readers and nosey friends.”
She chuckled at this. It wasn’t technically a date. Only sort of. “Oh, well in that case, that sounds great.” She looked down and noticed her scrubs. “Oh goodness, I can’t go out looking like this, though.”
“It’s fine, I don’t judge.”
“It’s really not.” She thought quickly. “Maybe you can come pick me up in a bit. Gives me a chance to change and freshen up.”
Jack scratched his head. “Well, see, I don’t have a car, so, I know it might seem weird but I was kind of hoping you could drive, if that’s okay.”
“Oh.” It was indeed surprising, but perhaps having the control of being the driver would be better. “Well I suppose you could come with us so I can change and drop off Joey. Then we leave from there.”
Jack smiled. “Sounds good. I’ll grab my coat.”
The car ride was quiet, Jack sitting in the front with Annabelle while Joey studied their minds from the backseat the entire drive home. The boy seemed tense but hadn’t put up any sort of fuss. She however put up the best shield in her mind that she could. It would be refreshing to be in Jack’s presence without getting her thoughts analyzed the entire time.
She invited Jack in, and while he waited in the living room, she stared at her closet trying to decide what would be appropriate for a date. It’s not a date, stop overthinking. She went with a dark blue V-neck shirt and jeans, simple yet nice. Joey was waiting outside her room, making her jump when she opened the door.
“Joey, seriously, if you’re here to—”
“I just want to tell you it’s not a date,” he whispered. “Okay? He just wants to talk about something.”
She couldn’t deny a twinge of disappointment, but reminded herself it was a good thing. “I know that. Do you know what he wants to talk about? Should I be worried?”
Joey shook his head, then stepped back to allow her through. If he knew what this was all about, he wasn’t saying.
Finding the handsome man sitting calmly in her living room, staring peacefully out the window then smiling at her arrival, brought more disappointment. It was getting harder to convince herself her feelings were wrong. But this dinner could serve an additional purpose; she knew next to nothing about this man, and that needed to change.
Jack let her choose the restaurant, so she chose a steakhouse close to her home and began the short drive. “I hope that’s all right with you. It’s been a rough day, so I could use some comfort food.”
“No problem. Do you mind me asking what made it a bad day? It’s probably none of my business, so it’s okay.”
“It’s just one of my patients passed away today. It was a hard one.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
He actually sounded genuine, and stealing a glance at him confirmed it. “It’s part of the job, really, being a hospice nurse. You have to accept that all of your patients are going to die soon. Most nurses in offices or hospitals focus on saving people, but in my line of work it’s all about helping them feel as comfortable as possible while they die because they can’t be saved.”
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“That’s important too, though. Just because your patients die doesn’t mean your work is less important. Besides, I think it takes a special kind of strength to do the work you do.”
Is he flattering me? “It is rewarding in its own way. Dying can be painful and scary, so it’s meaningful for me and the family that I help ease them comfortably to Heaven.” She remembered the patient she had told Mr. Taylor about. “Or Hell if that’s where they happen to be destined to go.”
She caught a look of curiosity from the corner of her eye. “You help people even if they’re going to Hell?”
The thought that Joey was right about Jack being a believer lifted her spirits. “Yes. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t treat others the same? That’s what Jesus has said after all.”
Annabelle wondered if the mention of Jesus might have been too far, but as they parked outside the restaurant, she met his gaze and held it. Was that awe she saw? No, maybe just respect. Yes. One more reason to like this man.
But walking into the restaurant was much more uncomfortable than she expected. A nicely dressed woman with a light pink jacket entering with a scruffy man dressed entirely in black, including a leather jacket with numerous silver zippers and buttons all over it surely made the hostess question the compatibility of the two patrons. But if she had any opinions, she kept them to herself as she led them to a booth.
Sitting across from each other, Annabelle removed her coat, but Jack did not, though it was already open. They smiled at each other, and now that they were closer together, his features that she’d always been curious about were easier to see. The stubble on his face never seemed to grow and he never shaved it. And his shaggy hair seemed to always stick up in the exact same spots—not quite cowlicks but rather tufts that naturally popped up in scattered places, one most notable on right side near the top and another above his left ear. Every day, every time, very clean and no hair products to make it happen.
“You think my hair’s messy,” he said, rubbing his head. The tufts resumed their places when he stopped.
“No,” she said. “Well, yes, but not in a bad way. It looks good on you.”
The waitress interrupted and took their drink order, Jack requesting a beer and Annabelle a lemonade. In hopes of changing the subject to avoid the possibility of offending him, she said, “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Let’s order first, then I’ll tell you. Fewer interruptions.”
Jack seemed oddly fascinated by the menu, expressing his indecisiveness and desire for everything. It was as if he’d never been to a place like this, and Annabelle wondered if he’d never had the privilege of eating a nice meal out. Perhaps being a touring musician in a band just starting out left him with only enough money to get by, and worried that he either wouldn’t be able to afford their meal, or would be spending more than he should. She chose something on the cheaper end while he eventually settled on one of the most expensive plates on the menu.
Once their order was in, Jack leaned forward, clearly ready to discuss. “So, the guys and I are performing at a festival in Milwaukee this weekend. The fest is Friday and Saturday, and we play on Saturday, but we plan on going up there a day early to hang out and check out some of the other bands. We thought it might be a fun experience for Joey and would like it if he’d tag along.”
Though Jack’s expression was peaceful, it was only moments before the red flags appeared in Annabelle’s mind. She was still uneasy leaving Joey alone with these four men all day every day, even though he always came home happy and in one piece. He was getting the education he needed despite her strong discomfort about his teacher. He had found his purpose in music, his talent blossoming quickly. And he didn’t seem to be straying from his good path, still doing his Bible study with her, showing interest once again. But still, something made her hesitate even without the guide voice blatantly telling her no.
Clearly noticing her hesitation, Jack said, “I understand your protectiveness of him. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. And I know me just promising he’ll be okay isn’t good enough, and that’s fine. I’m not offended. But I thought maybe if you told me what specifically makes you nervous, we can talk about it.”
These words shocked her more than his original request. Though she realized this might be why she felt Joey was safe with Jack. He cared, but not just about Joey. About her.
But she couldn’t tell him about her intuition, about the natural and possibly heavenly instincts to keep Joey within her reach at all times, and certainly not about the voice that stepped in on occasion. “Well…” she began, “I’m not sure what Joey may have told you about his past, but he’s had quite a rough childhood, though I think I did mention that once. You know of his…gifts…and I’m grateful that you are accepting of him, but unfortunately many other people in his life have not been and have tried to hurt him because of it. He’s nearly been killed quite a few times actually, so naturally I’ve grown very attached and protective and it’s hard to trust anyone these days.”
Jack raised his eyebrows. “Nearly killed? How?”
“It’s embarrassing to say, but mostly by the hands of my father, Joey’s grandfather. He…he believes he’s a demon and needs divine intervention, and has tried to take matters into his own hands, literally.”
“He’s the televangelist?”
“Oh, you know about that?”
Jack seemed to be stifling a smile. “Joey’s mentioned him.”
“Please don’t judge me based on my father’s actions.” Annabelle was not sure why she felt the urge to defend herself that way.
“I don’t.”
“We don’t always see eye to eye, my dad and me.”
“I can see why.”
The response caught her off guard. “What do you mean?”
“I just think it says a lot about you, caring so much about a kid with demonic powers. Goodness of your heart and all that.”
Annabelle lowered her voice to hide her surprise. “You think he’s a demon too?”
She did not expect the discomfort across from her, and she watched Jack struggle to hide it. “No…I mean, if he is, that doesn’t change that he’s a really good kid. Maybe not all demons are bad? Or he’s probably not a demon. Either way, we can agree he’s a really special kid and that’s all that matters. Anyway, what sorts of things did your dad do to him?”
“Oh he tried to use his bare hands in the name of God. But that honestly wasn’t the worst.”
“There’s something worse than murder in the name of God?”
“I think it’s pretty bad when a group of Christians gang up on him and throw him into a thermal pool at Yellowstone. He survived water of nearly two hundred degrees.”
Jack’s eyes went wide for a moment. “Holy shit.”
Annabelle twitched. “Please don’t curse.”
“Sorry. Wait, you said a group of Christians did that?”
“Don’t even get me started. Anyway, he miraculously survived, using his powers to get out and not drown. How he survived the heat completely unscathed, I don’t know. But you can see how he’s had a lot of bad luck, been in a lot of scary situations, and it’s hard for me to let him out of my sight. I’ve been torn between wanting to lock him up again to keep him safe, but also want him to be free because he’s so happy.” Annabelle paused as she looked at Jack. “He just thinks you’re the greatest thing. And not just because you’re his favorite musician. He really respects you and looks up to you. It’s nice to not be the only good influence in his life.”
Jack smiled. “He’s a good kid. I’m glad you gave him a chance.”
There was another moment of silence, and Annabelle knew Jack was still waiting for an answer. “I guess I’m not sure how I feel about him being so far away from me. For two days.”
“I won’t let him out of my sight the entire time, if that’s any consolation. It probably isn’t, but I can at least assure you that there won’t be many if any Christians where we’re going, and certainly no one wanting to kill in the name of God.”
“In the name of Satan maybe?” Annabelle couldn’t stop herself.
Jack chuckled. “I know there’s a bit of a stigma around heavy metal, people calling it satanic or devil worshipping or whatever. We certainly aren’t, and I’m pretty sure the other bands are safe, but I can check them out first and make sure to steer Joey clear of them if that will help you feel better.”
“It would.” She looked down at the table, still not ready to accept the offer.
“You’re still not sure. I’d tell you to think about it for a couple days, but I really need an answer tonight. Tell me honestly what I can do to help you feel better about it.”
Annabelle sighed. She couldn’t tell him honestly why she felt this way. But she had already told him a lot more than she probably should have. She also couldn’t explain why—or deny—she felt Jack was a safe person. “Maybe…maybe it’s partly because I feel like I don’t really know you guys. I trust you with him every day, but I hardly know you.”
Jack shifted a bit in his seat, then said, “We can fix that, I suppose. What do you want to know?”
She thought a moment, trying to decide what information would bring her the most comfort. More than anything she needed to know where he came from. “Are you originally from the area? I know you went to college here. I read it in an interview.”
“Yeah. I grew up close to here on the west side, not far from where I live now.”
Annabelle had been hoping for a little more elaboration but got none. “Do you have family here? Parents? Siblings?”
There was a pause before he answered. “My parents divorced when I was young. My dad moved out of state so I don’t see him much, and my mom doesn’t exactly approve of my life choices, so we rarely talk either. No siblings.”
“Why doesn’t she approve?”
“Because I’m wasting my talents on heavy metal.”
Though she herself didn’t approve much of that life choice, she had to admit she didn’t think it was worth losing family over. “That’s really sad. Considering how quickly you’ve built up a following, you’re at least successful. That’s something to be proud of.”
Jack nodded. “Yeah. I don’t let it get to me. I’m happy how I am.”
“I think that’s why Joey looks up to you so much. He’s happier about who he is now. Though I have to wonder, why is it that none of you are offput by what he can do? He reads your mind. Everyone else has been terrified by him.”
Jack seemed to be thinking a lot before answering. “I think it’s not hard to accept that there are people out there who are different. Special. Unique in that way. At least to me, and I think I can speak for the guys on that. And as long as they’re not hurting anyone, I think it’s something to marvel at. He’s never used his powers maliciously toward us, and yeah it’s a little awkward he can read our thoughts, but he means no harm. He’s young and still learning what he can do.”
Annabelle tilted her head as she studied him. “You sound like a spiritual man.”
“Spiritual in that I believe there are certain powerful forces out there that affect our world.”
“Like God?”
“For example.”
She smiled. He really was a believer. “I have to ask…you’re very spiritual and believe in God, yet you don’t go to church and you curse and I assume you don’t read the Bible and you write music that people might consider satanic. Aren’t you afraid of going to Hell?”
His answer came very quickly. “It’s too late for me.”
“It’s never too late.”
“Trust me.”
Annabelle scrutinized him. “Have you committed big sins? Killed anyone? Raped? Robbed? Things like that?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not too late. And even those things…well maybe not murder or rape…but most sins can be forgiven. People who accept that they’ve done wrong and choose to better themselves and accept Jesus from then on can be redeemed. You can’t just accept a fate of going to Hell. It’s a terrible place.”
“I know.”
“You don’t deserve to go there. I know some people might think that, a lot of people might think that, but those who truly follow the word of God would know that someone like you can very much end up in Heaven.”
Jack wasn’t looking at her. “I suppose in your opinion I’d have to give up my style of music.”
“Not in my opinion.”
“You listed it as a reason I would go to Hell.”
“Well, I didn’t mean it like that. I think as long as you’re not worshipping Satan with it then it’s okay. Joey loves it and I know he’s going to Heaven.”
Was that a tiny smirk he was hiding? “I think all I can do is live out my time here on Earth the best I can, trying to be a good person, do what I can for others. And wherever I end up is what happens.”
It saddened her that he was giving up so easily, so calmly. She didn’t want to accept that a good person like him would be destined to burning for eternity. She also had the feeling that pushing the subject further was a bad idea. “Well if the way you treat Joey—and me—is any indication, you’re doing a great job.”
Their food arrived and Annabelle spent most of the meal amused by Jack’s enjoyment of his steak and shrimp platter. “Holy shit—I mean, wow, this is the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten.” He seemed to savor every bite and every drop of sauce and juice from the meat. He ordered dessert, which she declined, and devoured every morsel. Upon finishing, he leaned back in his seat and sighed deeply, looking at her.
“You know, you still haven’t given me an answer about this weekend. I told you a lot about me and you keep complimenting on how great I am with Joey. What else is stopping you?”
He was right. Many times that night she had spoken of reasons why she should allow Joey to go without her. But there was still an unease inside her, and she wondered if it was that supposedly heavenly intuition. Then she got an idea. “How about this: I let him go with you on Friday, but then I will go up there on Saturday. I think only one day far from me is okay for me to handle.”
Jack seemed to hesitate, looking off into the distance, then said, “All right, that’s fair. As long as you’re okay hanging around a metal festival. I know that’s not really your idea of a good time.”
“It’s really not. But I survived your concert, I think I can handle another.”
When the check came, Annabelle was surprised to see Jack sift through a large amount of cash in his wallet. He obviously was more successful than she thought.
There was little conversation as she drove him home, but she couldn’t help but steal a few glances at him. Why did she find such a man so attractive? He was the complete opposite of any other man she’d been close to. She also hadn’t been overly attracted to anyone else, and perhaps this was why. Her type was different. So wrong.
They shared a smile before saying goodbye at the curb in front of Jack’s house. “Thanks for trusting me,” he said. “I’ll take care of him.”
“I know.” And she did know.