With having Merry changed and logging being set up for her me and Jackson were left to our own devices as currently she is located in her room which is down in the lower floors of the place where no one really is and I mean no one only people down there is Squad 16.
As me and Jackson walk down to the lower levels as he is slow due to the disease he has, "Arthor it is nice to see you after these passing months" he says coughing after that almost losing his balance if I were not there to support him, "It is nice to see that the twins are alive" he smiled while steadying himself.
we walked slower this for the remaining time I would love to have help for this but I doubt Merry would want to due to guilt and believing if she really deserved to be around me or Jackson, "I thought I might as well tell you this now Arthor" he stopped before he could speak more. I sighed and looked at him, "Quite you have so little energy right about now and I doubt a 49-year-old with a disease that freezes you has that much energy remaining" he chuckled a bit but held a sorrowful look.
"I am going to die in the next month as this disease is catching up to me" he smiled after that, I looked down after seeing his face, "Let me help with this old man" Merry spoke out I look up and see Merry at the end of the hallway, "I would be delighted for help" she smiled and walked over to support Jackson on his right.
As we made our way down into deeper floors the more decerped and run down the surroundings looked like this was an old base from 50-60 odd years ago which would place it around when the war of Independence was raging on the surface, "How old is this place?" Merry asked most likely having the same questions I do about this place, "It was around when the war of independence was being fought and a place where the Empire would strike from" Jackson quickly responded.
when we found a staircase leading down the condition of the place drastically improved from the floor we have been seeing and by that logic we have finally reached the floor we are meant to be at including Jackson, "Wait there are elevators that go down this far right?" I don't know why I did not think about those and if yes then our job would have been easier, I then notice a Smile from ear to ear build on Jacksons face, "You sly old man this is the last time I am ever helping you" I say through gritted teeth having both Merry and Jackson laugh and I couldn't help but laugh to.
as we got to Jackson room we laid him on his bed to let him rest and as we did he was asleep faster than anyone could blink even a cat would find it hard to react to how fast he was asleep, me and Merry slowly and quietly leave the room he is sleeping in and left with nothing to do as of right now.
Both me and Merry sit down at a table near a sort of kitchen and really that was it just sat there for the most part nothing being said between us. it was nice to have a moment of silence but sadly I can never have a moment of silence, but for the minutes that passed nothing was seen of them although they were there just in the corners of the room looking at me but no whispering actions I should take against my squad mates or people I work with.
"Why are you staring off into the corner?" Merry askes noticing my staring, I struggle to formulate a response but eventually come to one that may leave her stunned, "Have you killed a person" I look at her calmly with her looking me with worried eyes, "I would imagine killing someone for you would be hard in a sense since you are adept in saving lives not taking" Merry opens her mouth slightly to speak but stops.
I look into the corner again being meet with a gaze of 12 or so skulls looking back at me but one was unlike the rest it was the first person I had killed, "I wonder if I did not kill him how he would be right now dead or still living" I said aloud speaking my thoughts, a short moment later Merry comes into my view holding her chair and walking over to me.
She places her chair to my right as the table is to my left. she sits down and sighs, "I have but it was only one person well I didn’t kill them but I blame the death of the person on myself" I look at her through the corner of me I see her ready to cry and fiddling with her hands clearly not wanting to speak about what had happened.
"I was working in near the town of Northgorp and I was the only surgeon there to perform medical aid as the rest were deployed further up to deal with more cases that were growing in numbers" she stopped talking a breath in, "Two cases came in about having received wounds to their upper body and it was urgent that I deal the two as one had a punctured lung and heavy bleeding and the other had a missing arm" she stopped collecting herself for a moment again, "I chose to give aid to the one who had a punctured lung and heavy bleeding as he was more close to death" she stopped and I looked at her to see if she was a light and she was not.
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She had tear running down her face and was trying her best to hold it back, "What I did not know was that the person who was missing their arm also had an internal injury to his brain was dying quicker" she finished her story and I was wondering at what point was it her fault for not helping the guy, there was really nothing she could do about it even with stuff that can bring people back from immediate death we still have trouble finding internal injuries and I want to say that to her but I can understand where she is coming from, she is probably thinking 'If I were faster' or 'If I chose him over the other one' and those doubt in a person can really screw you over.
I take a deep breath in and sit up straight as I was bent over listening to her, "Merry I am going to ask you this and I want you to take into consideration that you are best medical aid person I know" she looked up wiping away a few streams of tears, "Sometimes the best struggle to do the best they can we are all human and we have physical limits to what we can do and can't do" she looks at me and goes to speak but she stops when I look at her, "The first mission I was on one of my squad mates died and it was beyond my control, if I could go back and save him from death even if I had to die again I would but I can't" I sit back in my chair and slumping in it.
When I finished silence once again was the loudest thing in the room, a little after from our talk I felt weight being put on my shoulder it was pretty obvious who was leaning on my shoulder. it was also at this moment I had a memory come into mind and feeling I thought I had lost, "Merry I have a question it is just a question I have been wanting answered" I said nervously making what I was going to ask easy in my opinion to know, "Oh and what is this question you want to ask me?" she said in a playful tone of sorts, "I was just wondering if you had ever had feelings for me, I was given a talk to by people about love and stuff and they gave some interesting insights" I said in an even more nervous tone being well more of a trembling tone of voice, she chuckled a bit a took in a breath, "Yeah I did and even now still do although for a while I questioned if I did have feeling for you" she said finishing with a gloomy face making me wonder why she put on that kind of look.
"After I was rescued by you two from the warehouse I was distort about the whole ordeal judging myself for getting into that situation and not realizing that he was a bad person" she said but smiled afterward, "I was in a sense locking myself away from you all as not to get myself in that situation again but after we had both turned 17 I started to feel conflicted about you" she quietly laughed and took in a deep breath, "I came up with so much to make myself think I was into you like one I always kept telling myself was I can fall in love with someone as carefree as him" we both a laugh at that, it was almost serial that we would talking like this.
"Now that I have answered your question I have for myself to ask" I sighed and prepared myself for the question as her and questions don't suit each other well, "Sure what is the question you wanted to ask" she exhaled like she was preparing herself for what she was going to ask me, could it be she wants to know if I still have feelings for her?
after a bit I felt the weight on my shoulder lift and her move to be in front of me taking up all my vision, "Then can you..." she muttered something that I could not hear which made curious what it was, I had a slight idea of what she could be hinting and well I was for and against it but one cannot be too sure as some times it could be the opposite of what you think.
I Stand and take a step forward to make sure I heard what she this time, "What was the rest of that I couldn't hear" I said making her turn around and hugging me taking the air out of me with how fast she was to hug me, "Don't leave me again, I don't want to lose another time" as she was talking she wrap around me tighter. I could hear her muffled cries in my chest, I felt a pit form in my gut and a feeling that I could not help even if I tried, in other words I felt hopeless.
I hugged her back, If I could understand her feeling of meeting someone you loved and thought were dead I would but having been in that 'room' I feel like an outsider and not even worthy to be with her. after a bit she lift up her head so she can look at my face, "I can understand if you feel as if you can't be with me" I flinch a bit and looked down at her, can she read my mind or something of the sort?
"I have seen that face before on Mark and it looks like I hit the jackpot did I not?" she said still having her voice muffled, "Mark at times will look off into the distance like how you did just now he always did when he thought I was not looking or thought he was out of view" she then buried the rest of her face back into my chest, "I want you to take these words to heart, I don't care if you think you are not 'worthy' to be around me or near or anything of the like I want you to be by me not matter what" she said leaving me in a bit of a daze as no one has ever really wanted me by them ever or I just never really noticed that they did.
after a bit she lifted he face from my chest and was clearly flustered by the situation but she ended up taking advantage of that and went for a kiss, which lead down a road I will never forget.