Sirius was dreaming he was back home in Little Rock, back in that big empty dark house. In his dream he walked through all the rooms again, and every now and again he could swear he heard a laugh and then the patter of feet running whenever he turned to look.

“Cat?”

But his sister was nowhere to be found.

He’d glimpse a strand of dark hair flying around a corner, so fast he couldn’t be certain that it wasn’t just a trick of the light. He’d run to the doorway but the hall would be empty. No footprints in the dust.

“Cat?”

He didn’t dare call his father’s name, and his mother was long gone. The house creaked and groaned. It never had before, not all the years he had lived in it. And from somewhere up the stairs he thought he heard singing.

“White wolf, whispering wonder,”

He took a step toward the base of the stairs.

“Why do you howl at the moon?”

The voice was soft and sweet, not his sister’s, or was it? Why couldn’t he remember what she sounded like? But this voice was older, much older. His mother? A ghost.

“Soft wolf, with footsteps like thunder,”

He made his way up. The singing was coming from his parents room. The one at the end of the hallway, but he didn’t want to go in there. He didn’t want to see that scene. And somehow he knew it would be that scene.

“Why do you run so soon?”

He waited for the next verse, heart beating hard in his chest. All the while he looked at the door at the end of the hall and dark gap where it hadn’t quite been closed. But the next verse never came. He was left alone with silence.

He turned to go back down the stairs. He didn’t want to be here. It was wrong that he’d returned at all. He never should have gone back. Should have left the past in the past.

But the creak of a floorboard stopped him.

Not from his parent’s room this time, but from the bathroom.

“Sirius?” a small voice spoke, younger, one he knew instantly.

He opened his mouth to call her name again but then he stopped. Silently he took a step forward instead.

“Sirius help.”

He moved toward the door faster, placed his hand on the doorknob and then hesitated.

He pushed it gently open. The door swung in. For a moment he could see nothing, no one.

But then two small hands curled their way over the edge of the bath tub and a head lifted up. Dark black hair was plastered to the sides of her face. Green eyes, just like his own stared at him. She gripped the bath tightly. She’d been 14 when he’d left home but now she looked younger, closer to 10, the same age she had been the night everything had changed.

“Help me.” She reached out one small hand.

It wasn’t right that she was there though. Cat hated the bath. She’d always kicked and screamed and bitten not to have to go near it.

Her position wasn’t right either. It was as if the bath were much deeper than it was. As if she were barely hanging on to the edge.

He hesitated. This wasn’t right, he knew, but he couldn’t quite pick what was wrong.

“Sirius!” she screamed and suddenly she was yanked down, disappearing into a bottomless tub.

Sirius ran to the edge. It was filled with water and thick dark strands of hair. The water was rough and a deep dark blue, like the sea.

“Cat?!” he called her name but the water was too dark and full of hair, far far too much hair, more than could possibly have come from her head alone. He leaned forward and suddenly a larger pair of hands reached out and pulled him in. Right before he went under he saw the teeth and face of a siren.

The siren opened her mouth as if in a silent scream or to eat his face. Wider and wider, past the normal limits of a mouth should be able to open. But in the brief moment between his face hitting the water and him opening his eyes again, the siren was gone.

He fought and thrashed, trying to find the surface, and then around him the black hair in the water turned red instead. As some of it separated he caught a glimpse of Amanda several metres away and being towed further from him. She was reaching for him. The siren had her.

He tried to get to her but hands held him back, and he was caught tight.

“Sirius! Sirius!” a different voice.

The water and hair turned into sheets. He kicked out, trying to untangle himself. The hands were still there.

Then they pulled back.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.”

He pushed himself rapidly upright, wide-eyed, breathing heavy, and ready for a fight.

The hands returned. This time he recognised them. Amanda’s.

He blinked as the room came into focus. She must have turned on one of the lamps before he’d woken up. It’s soft light combined with the subtle glow of the stars on his ceiling and the familiar rocking of the boat helped to calm his mind.

She was there, still, naked, bare-chested, and for a moment the fullness of her breasts caught his eye and he forgot about his nightmare. That was, until he saw the look on her face. Concern, apprehension. Had he hurt her in his thrashing? The sheets were all tangled. The last few minutes couldn’t have been a nice experience for her, assuming it had only been a few minutes.

He rubbed his face with his hands. “Argh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Have a bad dream?” she finished for him.

He risked a glance her way. She was giving him a sympathetic smile now. She inched a little closer and cocked her head slightly.

How did he explain what had just happened?

“Happens to the best of us.” She touched him comfortingly on the shoulder.

When he didn’t react she removed her hands. His skin felt cold without them there. He longed for her to put them back. He thought about grabbing her and pulling her on top of him again, but it would just be a distraction and he knew it. It wouldn’t be right to use her like that. But what did that mean? What did that make them then? That was a distraction of sorts, and right now he really didn’t want to talk about his dream.

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He turned to her.

She was watching him carefully.

She’d shown she could be trusted not to push too hard. She’d talk about what he wanted to. She’d follow his lead whatever he said. Maybe she’d bring the conversation back around again but she’d be gentle. He trusted her. But he really really didn’t want to talk about that dream. Not yet.

“Do you have a boyfriend back home?” he asked.

Her quick smile of disbelief was all the answer he needed but she added anyway, “Would I be here in bed with you if I did?”

Her tone was relaxed, gentle, teasing. He teased her back. “I don’t know.”

Her smile widened. She shook her head. “No.” She glanced away and looked more serious. “I used to uh, have a few too many.”

“Oh?” he was surprised. He hadn’t expected that answer.

She corrected herself quickly. “Not that I was… I just mean…” she shook her head. “I used to go to a lot of parties and get maybe a little too drunk.” She glanced up at his expression then looked away again. “Oh gods…” She sighed. “It’s complicated.”

He said nothing. She was looking quite flustered now and if he was honest there was a part of him that was wondering what he’d got himself into. But she was also darn cute when she was flustered. She kept biting her lip and glancing about.

In his silence she seemed to find her feet again and once more she picked up where she had left off. “I used to be in a band… well, technically I still am, but end of school everyone kind of went their own way you know. We haven’t practiced in awhile and things are quieter now. I was… used to be a bit of a wild thing... when I was younger. I grew out of it, mostly. I mean, I still drink... obviously… in moderation. I mean…” Another glance at his face.

He remained stoic.

She bit her lip. “I’m working on it,” she blurted out in a slightly defensive tone.

He couldn’t help himself. The determined look she had on her face was just too darn beautiful. She couldn’t have been more than an inch over five feet tall and she was giving him a look like she was planning on conquering a small country, or conquering herself, and truthfully he wasn’t sure which was the harder goal

He decided to save her from herself. “A band huh? What did you play?”

Amanda was busy kicking herself. Why had she admitted that of all things after what they’d just done together? He didn’t need to hear about her past exploits, definitely not while she was sitting naked in his bed. Hell, half of them she didn’t really remember much of anyway. Stupid brain always getting her in trouble. Stupid mouth for going along with stupid brain. But as usual Amanda never beat herself up for too long and she was the expert at a good poker face. She shook off any feelings of anguish and focused on what he’d just asked.

“The drums, mostly. Sometimes guitar, or I’d sing, usually if I was on guitar. But the drums are my specialty even though I learnt the guitar first. Been playing the guitar since I could walk. Dad taught me that. Can you play anything?”

He shook his head and then shrugged. “My mother used to play the piano and she’d sing a lot so sometimes we’d sing along but I never learnt to play.” His eyes lost some of their shine as he said it and a sort of sorrowful look came over his face.

“Do you wish you had?”

He was quiet for a moment as he thought about it. Then he shrugged. “I used to date a girl who was really into music. She could play almost anything, well not the drums but other things, like piano, guitar, a little violin, and some sort of brass instrument.” He tired to mime what it looked liked.

Amanda laughed at his impression.

Sirius smiled at her. “That was her main instrument though, the whatever it was, tuba I think or something beginning with an ‘E’...”

He glanced at her questioningly but she just shrugged.

“I was more into punk rock and classic country. No brass instruments in our band.”

“Well, whatever it was. She was going to teach me some piano. I did learn a few notes but that was years ago.”

“What happened?”

“Well, I jumped aboard a ship and ran away to sea.” He spoke as if the answer was obvious.

She laughed. “And you what, just left her there?” Never for a second did she believe that he actually had. But then she saw the look on his face change. In an entirely different more serious tone she asked, “Wait. You didn’t? You just left her there?”

He was frowning and not looking at her now. “Well…” He scratched his dark hair. “In hindsight, it was a pretty shitty thing to do but you see, I wasn’t planning on getting on the ship. It just sort of happened.”

“You didn’t even tell her goodbye?”

“No. I… I don’t know, I got lost at sea I guess. Time kind of just slips by out here you know?”

"Do you still love her?"

"I don't know. I guess not or I wouldn't have left. I don't think so. And to be honest I feel worse about leaving my sister behind."

"Why?"

He winced. "Because I left her with dad."

"He wasn't very nice?" Amanda thought back to the scars on his back.

“I never wrote to her either. To anyone,” he added, not answering the question.

“Well,” Amanda shrugged. “It’s never too late.”

She watched his expressions closely but he did not look at her.

“No you see, I think it might be. I haven't been back to Little Rock since I left. Not until Silver's contract.” He glanced at her. “It was just too good to pass up, and as it turns out she's an in with other clients. Friends with one or two that we already do runs for. Important runs.” He sighed. “I can see why the old captain turned to piracy and the odd slave run. It never sat well with the crew but it brought in the money, in a way that scavenging and shipping tea and books just don't. Scavenging might if we had better equipment but that's expensive. We just need a few good runs. Silver's apparently been looking specifically for a black pegasus for ages. That pegasus is our ticket to better quality of life."

He adjusted his pillow and then slid down a little bit in the bed so he was more comfortable.

Amanda noticed that he’d changed the topic again and for once she actually didn’t want to talk about the pegasus. She wanted to know more about his past and about him. But those sort of things take time. Time and subtly. She moved in close to him and snuggled up against his side.

He put his arm around her and absentmindedly stroked her shoulder with one finger.

"Your life doesn't seem so bad out here," she told him.

He shook his head. "You haven't seen the numbers. We're just too close to not making it at all."

Amanda thought about that. It certainly was a conundrum but at least it explained why he was so reluctant to let the pegasus go. Maybe she just needed to help him figure that problem out. She rested her head on his chest and ran her hand through the soft dark hair there. He felt nice and warm.

His hands moved up to her head and casually played with her own hair, twisting his fingers among it. For a awhile neither of them spoke.

She raised her head so she could see his face again. He gazed down at her and smiled softly.

For a moment she thought about just staying quiet and letting the it all last forever, or as long as it could, until dawn at least. But then she asked, “Why did you say it might be too late?”

She watched the sadness that filled his face and for a moment she felt terrible for causing it.

He sighed and explained, “Because I went back to my old house and none of them were there. The place was just empty. Abandoned. No sign of my sister or my father. They were just all gone.”

“Maybe they went on holiday?” Amanda suggested softly.

Sirius shifted his weight and Amanda pulled away for a second while he got comfortable again. Then she propped herself up on her elbow next to him so she could see him better.

“No.” He shook his head. “Dad didn’t do holidays. I mean he did but not since… not in years”

“Maybe someone in Little Rock knows where they went?”

“Maybe.” He glanced at her briefly again. He seemed more thoughtful than sad now.

Amanda took a chance to learn a little more. “What about your mother, what happened to her?”

The look on his face said that maybe she’d crossed a line. His brow furrowed and he stared at the sheets as though he could see right through them. Amanda got the impression he’d retreated somewhere else for a moment.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” she reassured him.

He blinked, met her gaze as if surprised to see her there and then he nodded. “If you don’t mind. I’d rather not. Not right now anyway.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m sorry if I-”

He shook his head. “No, you’re alright. Just…” He turned his body slightly toward her more and focused his attention on her instead of off into the corner. “I want to know more about you. Tell me something about you?”

“Something about me?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

He was watching her now. She glanced away in thought. “Wow, something I’ve never told anyone else. That’s a big ask.” But she smiled as she said it and racked her brain for something that might work.

But he beat her to it with his own question.

"What are your powers? You know I'm a strongarm but I still don't know what you are?"

She smiled at him. Fuck! How was she going to get out of this one? Maybe she should just tell him?

She stalled. "What do you think I am?"

"Hmm I dunno. You're pretty good with that pegasus. Do you talk to animals?"

He'd come up with the perfect solution almost in an instant. One she had failed to think of and he'd handed it to her on a silver plate. All she had to do was take it. Say he was right. He’d never know. But looking up at him, she felt that she could not lie to him. Or at least, she did not want to. Plus he probably would know eventually. It just didn’t have to be today.

She flashed him a teasing smile. "Nope. And that's your one guess for the day gone."

He raised an eyebrow but picked up on the playful signals she was sending. "You're not going to tell me?"

She grinned to cover up how fast her heart was beating. "Where's the fun in that? You can guess again tomorrow."

"Do I get a hint?"

"Maybe if you're good."

A look of mischief crossed his face. The next thing she knew he was kissing her. He was gentle and he tasted sweet. His beard tickled her face. She smiled and then they pulled apart only a hair’s width. Just far enough that he could whisper, “How about now?”

She could feel his words on her skin. “Mmm, close,” she whispered back.

He chuckled and he kissed her again. And then his hand dipped down between her legs and somewhere in the next hour all questions were forgotten.