Could you hear it, the voice that was calling to you, prickling against your skin over and over, in a seemingly unending rhythm?
Could you see it, the scene that lay beyond your eyes, as they were trying to gauge your eyes out of you, palpable yet captivating to behold?
Could you smell it, the stench that was on your feet, to where you were standing still where all the ocean blood smeared upon it?
Could you sense it, the consciousness of your mind, trying to wreck over at anything and everything, as if they wanted to be released free?
No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t hear it, I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t smell it, I couldn’t sense it. No, no, no. I just couldn’t.
Then, fret not, my child, a soft and enticing voice whispered. For, it’s only just begun.
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From where the man begins, and to where shall the man end?
Many times. For many times, it was a question that lingered in my mind, whenever and wherever I had time to think about. So simple, yet so difficult to attain its truth. The question that always kept repeating by itself over and over, just like a loop at the end of a rope, and perhaps there as well, where the destination of all lives will finally come to an end. Well, except for mine, apparently.
The sky stretched far beyond my eyes could I imagine. Blue, and vast. Perhaps, what could be the very definition of itself. But, what if it were robbed of that very aspect? Narrow, and purple, perhaps? Would it still be considered sky? Perhaps, because what defines the sky would be its position above us. The ceiling, if you will. So, what if it were below us? Under our feet, could it still be called sky? Or would it become ground instead? Really, even though it appeared as one?
That very spectacle appeared before me. It twisted, morphed, and continuously changed its appearance over and over. One time, it had a very mesmerizing color of aquamarine, where each tinge of the colors blended together to create a perfect painting. Or perhaps, the other time, where it squeezed tight, crumbled like a paper with a color of gold in the shape of a ball before it finally flew past me. Or another, where it morphed itself into a void, came as nothing, and appeared as none.
Each blinked eye, one, and another distortion came and went, flashed fast like it was the work of a delirious magician, who kept flicking his finger up and down, each creating an unfinished stroke at its own whims. Or perhaps all of this was nothing, but merely an illusion created by the feeble mind of my own, to try to cope in this delirious world. In the end, all things were irrelevant, as I stood here forlorn, witnessing in the distance where a broken neck snapped clean as another blink had passed.
Madness, perhaps madness. What kind of madness was happening in this place. How could that be allowed to happen, in the gallows beyond there was some kind of madness. The gallows that appeared too big for one in the distance, yet too small for one at this close. The tiny dark figures who line up against, waiting patiently. No expression could be traced on their puny faces; somber, anger, sadness, disgust, sorrow, none at all, there was no hint of emotions on their faces. As if they were there because they meant to be. As if this was the normal occurrence in this place.
Madness, all of these are just madness. It’s ridiculous.
How?
Just how?
How, I wasn’t invited? Even though my heart also desired the same thing as them. Madness, it’s madness.
The outstretched sky, once again, morphed, contorted in its place, painting black dots on its body. The sign of a blink had happened. The sign of another neck was broken by a noose. I, who was drawn by the same premise, overjoyed, as I immediately took a run. My heart felt so light, as if at this very moment I could fly. And, yet, the distance wasn’t closing.
The gallows remained far away beyond the stretch of my hand, yet it looked so close, just felt like at the tip of my nose. I kept running, and running, but the dark ashen sand below my feet seemed to refuse to let me go. Shrinking at the force of my feet, impeding my movement. Perhaps, once again, it was all just trickery being played in my head? Yes, I felt it–it must be. As I could feel myself moving. I could feel myself advancing.
I ran, I ran, I ran, I kept running, and running. Running, running, and running. Toward what I wished to be the end.
“RUN, JUST RUNNNN!!! YOU FUCK.”
Splashing the sand below, scrambling over, crawling, jumping, diving, rolling over and under, hand standing, back rolling, and swimming. Yet, still once again, no amount of effort seemed relevant, as the distance didn’t seem to shrink even by a tiny dot.
Another blink passed once again, as the scenery screwed once more, but before I could adjust to the new scenery. Something fast struck my neck, its two-pronged head caught me by the neck, and pinned me in the air. The protruding needle on it stabbed me, piercing my flesh. The cold, sharp, metallic point met at the very center of my throat with a fresh clang. Black, deep liquid poured from the wounds, so thick that it felt so slow to flow down.
I gasped; I couldn’t scream; I couldn’t breathe. It was too sudden, but I saw it before; before it all happened. It was just a glimpse, but I saw it. The shadow, I saw a huge shadow fall on my entire vision.
It must be the guards. THE GUARDS–
With a swing that felt so strong that, ignoring all the logic, one that could break all my bones apart, ripped my flesh out. The needle gripped me tight as I was spinning around, refusing to let me go. Liquid that black and deep flying all over the place. Perhaps, white, and yellow as well, and maybe a little pink and perhaps many other colors.
One and two swings that were akin to an eternity– perhaps longer, more than one or three mere blink of eyes.
The vision of chaos swarming like bugs toward me–a ray of colors spilled over, toppled, and remade, strikingly beautiful and sickening, crawling onto the spinning gaze revealed to me.
Was I screaming? Was I crying? Was I really pathetically pissing myself, perhaps? Even I have no answers to those mundane questions myself.
Soon after, the grip released, and I was sent flying. Perhaps at this moment, the feeling wasn’t that much different from what I had always dreamt of: to fly like a bird. But, no. It couldn’t even be exaggerated to be called flying to begin with, for what I tasted was no liberation, but a torture. The feeling that akin to a rag doll being tossed in the air– motionless, and fragile only waiting on its doom before it finally crashed onto the ground, perhaps nosediving.
It began to accelerate upon closer to landing, as the friction on my skin got hotter.
The moment I landed, what greeted me was the mouthful taste of grounded black ashen skull. And, a bit of a mixture of blood and saliva. And, yes, a taste of grounded black ashen skull. How did I know that, you were wondering? Did you think I’ve ever tasted it? No, of course not. What kind of human did you think I was? I was only your average human being, you know, one that could be found anywhere.
Then, how? Well, it was all just speculation on my part. In a place that used to be called ground, I could see many partially disintegrated black ashen skulls scattered around the place. So, perhaps that was how it came from. Easy right?
And, for the record, it tasted somber.
I immediately spewed the remaining residue in my mouth and looked at my surroundings. The herds loomed over me, but seemed like the usual, they had little care of their surroundings. They were human-like, feeble and fragile, tall, and skinny, or perhaps too skinny as their bones were sticking to their skin, revealing their overly hunched disfigured figure. Eyes straight ahead, and hollow, with mouths agape, saliva came running over like an unending waterfall. They were only counted so much.
When I was about to find relief from the pain, that was beginning to recede, perhaps for whatever good it meant to me at this point. A fast strike of a whip came close to me. Spash! It missed. But I realized immediately it was on purpose. The spot where it had hit was lit on fire. It was none other than a warning. To remind me who was in charge of the place.
It was none other than him, the shadowy black watcher who oversees the herds. Beneath his little pointy head, he gave me a sharp look. I hurriedly raised my hands, and giving my best smile ever, while assuring him:
“Calm down, eh?”
But, he gave no response. Only looking at me, boring a hole in my eyes with its unseen eyes. Then he let out a grunt that sounded close to a hiss, and pointed toward the herds with his little funny head. I quickly gave a nod, understanding, as I didn’t want to raise any random lashes of a whip coming my way.
As I was about to arrive near them, another blink passed once again. A malevolent scenery unfolded before my eyes. Myriads of colors conjectured with each other, twisting in its place, curving, and speeding at a speed that was beyond human comprehension, or at least beyond my comprehension. The colors kept twisting in the air, swirling, swirling, swirling, and kept swirling inward. Yet, weirdly amidst all the chaos, it was still maintaining a perfectly peculiar looking shape that it has as if it had a mind on its own to recognize the pattern. Finally, when they were about to reach its potential, they popped like a balloon. Pop!
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The myriad of colors hit me in the face, splashing its vibrant paint onto my face, yet once again it did no harm to me, except, perhaps, give me a bit of stagger, which made me trip on my feet, and crashed onto one of the herds. The herd that I crashed on was quite strong despite its skinny, as I had expected to make a domino effect of them, but it only stood still, unfazed, with its hollow forward. And moreover, the watcher gave no response to all of it. Weird, huh.
Just as I was about to stand up, the herd suddenly grabbed my shoulder with its both hands. The hollow eyes of it met mine. They were like a never-ending hole, a hole over a hole that seemed no matter how deep you dig they would just repeat over and over, again and again. I immediately looked away, as I felt like the longer that I stared at it, I would be sucked in. Its mouth was agape, a stench of decay flying over as it opened its mouth wider, trying to make some kind of sound.
“....agghhh..”
“Uh, sorry.”
But, instead of releasing me, its grip tightened, sounding like bones cracking in my shoulder. I struggled to push it away, but its strength surpassed mine. Its face drew closer, the smell growing stronger, while its left hand pointed behind it.
But, instead of releasing it, Its grip became stronger, much stronger as it sounded like a bone on my shoulder started to crack.
I tried to push it away, but its strength was beyond mine. Its face drew closer, the smell growing stronger, while with its left hand pointed behind it, at one point, a particular point.
“.. what?” Confusion befell on me, as on the point that it pointed at there was nothing. Yes, there was nothing…
“...nooo,” it rumbled, its voice cracking low. “Nooooooo.”
“no?”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” it cried.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” cried it once again, before shoving me aside like a discarded object that had served its purpose.
Once its scream subsided, the other herds joined in, creating an endless chain of screams. The once quiet place was suddenly filled with a cacophony of noise. The watchers who witnessed it immediately rushed to silence them, resorting to whatever means necessary. At one point, I saw them, shoving their powerful hands into its tiny mouth before pulling out its spine, as white saliva roared in the air before it subsided, deteriorating what once it defined before.
Amidst the chaos, I saw my chance. With no time to waste, I seized the opportunity. A chance that couldn’t be obtained before.
To where, perhaps the question that you might ask. Of course, to that place. The place that it pointed at. The place that had nothing.
The land of the unexplored. The land I had never seen. I took off running once again. But this time, I could feel it, I was moving, running against the winds. My heart beat fast as I sprinted forward towards it.
From behind, I could hear the scream growing quieter. There was not much time left, I thought to myself; I needed to go faster. Soon, I had a foreboding feeling. The shadow was coming close, its foreboding feeling was too heavy, almost choking me on the neck. And it would be too late to know when its two-pronged head hit me once again.
“FUCK!!!!”
Sprinting myself out of frustration, I just ran. How could you even dodge something that you couldn’t see? It was just madness. It was MADNESS that would slowly burn yourself to crazy.
The feeling grew stronger; it would be coming soon. But how soon? Would it be now? In the next second? Or perhaps even later? I didn’t know. And how should I dodge it? Should I jump to the left? Or perhaps to the right? Duck underneath it? Or maybe try to leap over it?
Under, yeah. Yes. It always aimed at my neck. It should be the choice. The obvious choice. So, when? It’s now. Now? It is noW? Now!!
As soon as I ducked, something fast struck above my head. The force of its impact was strong enough to create a powerful gust of wind. The tip of my hair fluttered in the wake of its forceful impact. The massive overhead shadow suddenly vanished as soon as the attack missed.
“Huh? It actually worked?” I couldn't help but to be astonished by the pure luck that actually just happened.
I looked back to see the entity who launched the attack, but alas it disappeared without trace or rather it was never there to begin with, leaving no footprint or sound despite its massive size of shadow. The massive overhead shadow only came and went when the attack happened.
The cacophony of scream had grown much quieter when I realized it sounded like there were only two or more screams happening in the back. The watcher would be coming soon enough, the destination was just in front of me. There should be enough time. Right? Yes, that should be.
That should be the case, however apparently, I overlooked one thing. Perhaps, the most important thing. The threat from the over looming massive shadow didn’t end just at two, instead it came again in three. The time, I realized, the two-pronged head already latched forward caught me by the neck, its thousands of needles about to stab me.
Swiiip!
But from behind me, there was the sound of the whip’s lash shot forward, hitting me on the back, perhaps leaving a burning pain of mark. I gasped in pain. It pushed me forward, as the two-pronged head was about to close in, grazing my neck against its needles, and sent me flying toward the destination.
The watcher!?
I couldn’t take a look at his presence as I was already rolling away. Rolling, rolling and perhaps tumbling like a tumbleweed, until the ashen ground before me collapsed, sending me falling. I thought it was over, but to my surprise, the massive entity just stood there at the edge. Its gleaming golden eyes spark depth of death, sending a cold shiver down my spine as our eyes met. It had the same eyes as a dragon whenever it looked at humans – worthless.
Wasting no more chances, I scrambled myself out of here. For I have arrived, to the land of the unexplored– The land beyond what I have witnessed. Perhaps, there was a reason for them to stop chasing me after I’ve reached this place. Or perhaps it was what they wanted all along in the first place, to guide me here. Regardless, for all the reasons, I couldn’t shake this ominous feeling of whatever that laid beyond here would be nothing but good for me.
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The moment I stepped into it, the sky changed once more, flickering in rapid succession. It shifted from a bluey blue to a reddy red, then to a purpley purple, followed by a yellowy yellow, a greeny green, and a pinky pink. Finally, it ended with an orangey orange before transitioning abruptly into the whitey white, fading into the blacky black.
The ominous premonition that I sensed finally here. What stood beyond here was the manifestation of boundless graves, but not any ordinary graves. They were the graves that I recognized. The name that carved on its slate, telling me fully what laid beyond this place. In front of me lay a simple grave made of stone.
“Bobby,” I whispered, the name that was carved on the slate.
It was the name of the adventurer that I once knew before. Perhaps, the name that stuck in my mind when I began my adventure days. As soon as I uttered that name, something fell from above, crashing onto the grave with a deafening thud. Creating a wide crate, filled with a dark, deep red pool of blood. At its center lay a human body, gruesomely cleaved in half. Its dark brown hair, and the tattered leather that it had, striking resemblance to the person that I uttered before.
A look of horror befell on my face as I hurriedly looked away. My steps grew heavier as I continued forward. As once again, a single grave stood on the left. Perhaps deep inside me, I realized what would happen if I uttered the name once more, but the word just escaped on its own.
"Lyufeth."
In an instant, the ground split open with a deafening roar, unleashing a torrent of molten magma that consumed everything in its path with relentless fury. Amidst the searing inferno, a single hand protruded from the center of the chaos, reaching out as if pleading for salvation. Cracked and withered. Yet, no matter how long it waited, there was nothing to grasp onto, nothing but the relentless heat and destruction.
I gritted my teeth upon witnessing the scenery, but I kept myself going. Was it my punishment for what I was doing? Or perhaps, was I looking for salvation by witnessing this seemingly ridiculous charade? I didn’t know, but I forced myself to press further, deeper, and deeper.
A single drop of rain began to tick on my face as the sound of thunder rolled across the sky. Before long, an intense downpour began to drop, covering the area in heavy rainfall. In the midst of that, I once again saw it. A single gravestone stood in silence not too far in front of me. However, I dared not to look, not to see, as I knew what would happen if I uttered their name.
Yet, despite that, in an instant a deafening shriek of monsters filled the air, so loud it seemed as if they were trying to drown out the thundering storm. The laughter that followed was an orchestra of joy—a striking resemblance to someone experiencing laughter for the first time, discovering its purest form. At the tip of their spear lay a severed head of a comrade I knew. Her slanted eyes were wide open, blood gushing down, eyeballs hanging low, and her mouth was agape in ghastly agony.
“KKAAAAAAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAAKAAAA!!!”
Caring for nothing, the monsters continued to laugh as the rain fully soaked their feathered bipedal bodies. Their golden, glowing eyes stared at their prey, each with a red-dot pupil at the center. The strix.
Their attention was occupied to the severed head until they turned their gaze toward me. Its beak-like mouth turned up in a smile, revealing a series of fangs. They let out another disturbing laugh, perhaps they were happy, for they finally found a new prey, a new toy to be toyed around with.
“KaaakKKKAAAAAAAKKAKAK!!!!”
Fear gripped me, as I quickly ran away from the scene. I just ran, ran as fast as possible, ignoring everything, and anything around me. My eyes saw nothing, my ears heard nothing, my nose smelled nothing, and I couldn’t sense anything. There was nothing. Only nothing.
Yet, despite that, once again, I found myself in a strange place. The place where I first try to hang myself. The Lagorya Forest.
Under a big tree, I saw a black-haired man was readying himself. His outfit was beyond the state of comfort, his hair was long, almost touching the shoulder, his eyes were hollow, perhaps shared a resemblance to one of the herds, an unkempt beard fully grown on his chin.
The man quickly climbed atop a large stone, and placed his head in the noose. Soon, he let his body fall forward. The noose tightened his neck, while his feet desperately sought the ground. His eyes were bloodshot, his neck taut, veins bulging on its sides. His hands furiously clawed against the rope, trying its best to recede the pain. The anguish that depicted on his face was real, and painful to look at. No shred of salvation to be found.
Then, the head flopped from his head, falling off like an apple from the tree. I was left alone, standing there by myself, until I heard a cry for help. Soon after, someone came, but surprisingly it wasn’t her, the auburn-haired girl. It was taller, and lankier. It had rough-looking hair, and a ragged outfit. Nor the voice actually belonged to her.
No, in fact, I should have recognized the voice. It was the voice that belonged to someone that I knew so well. The voice that accompanied me so much for a long time. Her always somber voice that always misses its timing. My longtime partner. I searched for the source of the voice, but no matter what, I couldn’t find it. I used my eyes, my ears, my nose, my senses. I used everything to look for her. But, I couldn’t find her.
The man walked slowly to the headless hanging body. He staggered his steps, as if he was in full pain. Slow yet steady, and the moment he arrived, he picked up the head from the ground.
No, perhaps, it wasn’t because I couldn’t find her.
It was because she was already in my hand.
Her head was lying dormant in the palm of my hand.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I woke up in a jolt, cold sweat drenched my body. And the moment I recognized it was only a dream, the first words that flew out of my mouth were:
“...huh, the fuck was that!?”