Deep in the forest, there, I was standing alone, looking to my right, left to confirm there was no one nearby. After enduring a long time of silence, the first thing that came out from my mouth was a huff, releasing all the long tension in one but short burst.

“Finally, all the preparation is ready!” Wiping off the sweat that had been drenching my forehead, I said with a look of satisfaction.

“Yes, it is, now it will be just me and you alone, partner,” I said again, as I let out a derisive laugh that seemed unbecoming of me, perhaps there was a time when a man was pushed too far to his end, something like this would eventually happen.

“My apologies, but I couldn’t help but to feel scared right now.”

“I know, I know, there’s no other way around anymore. That’s why I had to resort to this.”

Taking a deep breath, I said again.

“Yes, I think, I’m fine now.”

Before the last courage that I had gathered was gone, I quickly rose to the biggest stone that I’ve neatly prepared beforehand. In front of me was a dangling piece of rope, with both of my hands I grabbed it tightly. The rope was just an ordinary one, but quite strong enough to support my weight at least. And, of course, at the end of the rope was making a loop that seemed a big enough for an adult's head to fit in. After taking one and final deep breath, I pushed my neck forward, and immediately the feeling of being suppressed was taking over on me. As well, the pseudo-suffocation slowly creeping out on my neck, as if there was an invisible hand trying to choke me to death. The feeling was real enough to get me choked by a little, even though the main event hasn't begun yet.

"It's too late to back down by now. Wasn't that for very reason, I need to resort to this?"

With my feet at the tip of the rook, I could feel my heart was wavering. Cold sweat drenched on my palm where they gripped to the ropes. It's now or never, I said to myself, pushing myself. I just need one final push, just one final push. And everything shall come to an end. YES! everything shall be end.

Looking at the bright azure sky, between the gap of the thick branches of trees. I imagined myself as a bird. To be free, where I could fly to wherever my wings could carry, with nothing to stop me. Or perhaps, even if there was nothing in the afterlife, I wouldn't need to suffer anything anymore, no need to think anything anymore, become one with the void itself.

YES! The feeling of liberation of being free awaits me!

And, with that, I pushed my weight forward, to let everything come to its end.

...

....

But, instead of the liberation that I was seeking, what I found was only pain, and suffocation feeling, and more suffering. It began, the moment my body fell forward, which instantly caught by the noose around my neck. And the moment it hit me, I coughed, hacked, and choked as how painful it was to hit my windpipe. The rope tightening upon the contact, while the gravity tried to put me down for trying to deny its might. And, for a second later, when the air had been completely blocked, I had stopped coughing for I couldn't even make any sounds anymore. But some intangible noises were leaked out of my mouth, whether it was intended or not. Cold, pain, and dizziness overtook me, switching over and over, as it kept continuing for a whole minute, adding one layer to another one, like what a pastry does to the cake. Instead, there were only the gruesome layers that could be found, which made anyone looked in disgust upon witnessing it.

But, there was only one thing in my mind which raced about.

It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, hurts, hurts. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, cold, hurts, hurts, Hurts, Hurts, Hurts, huRTS, HUrtS.

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Please, Just let it end, quickly!

“....a.a.aAAAckk…”

Perhaps, I was a coward, even though I wanted it in the first place, but right now I felt scared. If there was one thing that I wished for, it was for it to end quickly. My head was looking upward, perhaps it was bloated. Fluids running amok on my face, drenching every single part of the holes. Tears, saliva, and snots. But, who should I care, as I could see it once again, the bright blue sky, where I could see a single bird flying there with its big wings spread vast. Beyond the pain, I tried my best to imagine myself as that, to become free, unrestraint by anything. And, maybe, in a way, this was a cheap price for my soon eternal freedom. Thinking of that, I could feel the pain slowly recede.

However, perhaps the Gods had heard my wish wrong, or perhaps, the Gods had decided to play their tasteless game on me, once again. The small crack on the branch spread faster than the lightning ever struck on the ground and spread to the other side until it snapped in two. Bringing me and the branch flat to the ground with a loud BAM.

I could feel myself breathing once again. But the emotion swelling inside me was messed up. There was a rage boiling up, disappointment, as well a feeling I couldn't explain. It was all mixed that I didn't even know how to react to any of it. But, I could feel it someway there was the tiniest part of me that felt relieved for the hellish situation was finally over. Looking at the snapped branch, and the bright azure sky, again, and again. I couldn't contain my feeling anymore, and thus I let it out everything.

“Hehehehhe AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA *hack* HAHAHAHHAHAh *cough* HAHAHHAHAAH *cough* *cough* hahahaha….!!”

Before I realized, I was slamming my forehead on the ground. Red blood gushed over from there, and I cared nothing of that. As I kept banging it over, and over, for I hate the very fact that the very idea itself, the idea that I could still the pain itself was just unbearable.

Perhaps, perhaps, if I could do it one more time, looking for a better place and setup. But after going through that, I don’t think I want it again. Perhaps, I could look for another way. Yes, Perhaps…

I didn’t remember much of what happened next, but the first thing that I knew I was woken up by the voice of a distant screaming voice that sounded asking for help. Perhaps, because of the fact I was a former adventurer, which makes me often on high alert, and can be easily woken by small disturbances like this. Of course, I pretended to hear nothing and went back to close my eyes. But, exceeding my expectation, the voice grew louder, as it got closer, and closer toward my direction, when finally the owner of the voice spotted me lying motionless like a rag doll.

“Please!, Someone, Help! Is There Anyone! Ah!”

Her face was brightened at the moment she found me, as if she had found a salvation. She was a little short, perhaps around 156-160 cm in height with auburn hair that looked disheveled, reaching down to her shoulder. She wore a white dress that seemed to have gotten dirty, probably from all the running. With a ragged breath, she stood in front of me hands on knees, opening her mouth even though her breath hadn’t returned to normal yet.

“P..please… H..h…help me …my…fathe…rr”

Perhaps, this what would they called a fate, to meet someone, a stranger no less, asking for help in a deep dark forest that people rarely venture around, for that precisely I chose this specific place. But, only a fanatic would believe in something like that. And for the record, I was not. But, this situation was also not surprising for it to be a trap. I’ve heard quite numerous similar stories, one of them was about a mischief spirit who had the habit of luring a lone man to the den of monsters. And many variations of the stories tend to have them disguised as young women or little girls, which looked like what really happened in front of me.

When she didn’t get any response from me, she spoke up, still with a ragged breath but less heavy.

“U-uhm, ..sorry for disturbing your rest. But, my dad got attacked by monsters, and I don’t know what to do. Could you please lend… your …help?”

She sounded unsure at the end, for I wasn’t giving any reaction at all, and just staring at her like a motionless corpse. Perhaps, somewhere in her mind, she was asking the wrong person. But, beggars can't be choosers, rule on her mind first.

“… All right. Can you lead the way?” Her expression brightened the moment I said that.

“Thank you very much!!” She bowed.

When I stood up, I could feel a mild dizziness on my head, as my body seemed a bit weak as I almost tripped myself to get myself up, which prompted her to ask in worry voice.

“Um, are you okay?”

“No worries, just lead the way.”

Probably, she would not give up after only one try, and would keep asking, until I agreed. Of course, I could still play like a motionless corpse, which prompted her to leave, eventually. But, I chose to not, why?

Well, the reason was quite simple, if you looked objectively there was no harm done for me to help her. Even if it was a sort of trap, it could still benefit me by the end as I was still looking for a place to die. But, was that really reason that I convinced myself? Perhaps, I just couldn’t ignore a person who needed help in front me, for I just couldn’t discard my humanity to not help her at all. Perhaps, when I looked back again on this event, I wonder how the future me would react to this.

I patted down some dirt on my shabby pants, before setting down to follow her through the dark forest, as the orange glow dyed the sky.