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The Riddle of Lead: Requiem of the Gun Knights
1-29: The Better to Smell You With

1-29: The Better to Smell You With

The Dragon towered over the Adventurers (and Gun Knight), steam rising from its nostrils as it paced with catlike grace about the hoard.

Rathus stared up at the beast. A yellow dragon? His mind raced as he dropped into his Battle Trance, slowing his surroundings. He desperately Recalled through a variety of guidebooks he'd read previously. As he flipped from one book to the next, he came up blank. The closest thing he could find was a Brass Dragon, one of the offshoots of a Metal Dragon, but the color wasn't right. What the hell was a yellow dragon? Did it spit lemons?

Even with his mind racing at the speed of thought, he didn't have time to spend staring at the Dragon. His hand immediately dropped to his belt, moving with the practiced ease of an action he'd performed thousands of times. The beast's eyes fixed upon him as he lifted a round glass vial about the size of an orange. He twisted the cap with his thumb as he threw it, causing a separated section within the bottle to open, spilling a powder into the green liquid sloshing about.

"Vibe Check," he warned his comrades, averting his eyes and covering his ears. He noticed Ruth turning to avert her eyes as well, but realized too late that Adventurers might not be privy to the military jargon used by the Gun Knights.

"Huh?" Artur asked, tracking the flashbang as it arced through the air, before it burst in a spray of light and sound. Rathus spun around to face the dragon, pulling out his EM-16 and bringing it to bear. The Dragon was rearing back, shaking its head and screeching in fury and pain. Rathus flicked the gun to full auto, but hesitated. The throat of the dragon was beginning to glow a deep orange.

"Damn it," Rathus swore under his breath. He lowered his gun and began to run for cover. Mitras and Ruth had already hidden behind a pillar. The Gun Knight grabbed Artur under the arm and shoved him towards another of the marble edifices, stumbling behind it himself moments before a gout of flame turned the entire room into a conflagration. Heat seared the Gun Knight, the stone of the steps charring and bubbling as the dragon continued its violent exhalation.

"The dragon's fire is impossible to defend against," the official announced matter-of-factly. "It is wild with rage, and after your attack, seems unlikely that it can be reasoned with."

Rathus spun around the column and fired a spray of bullets at the dragon. The bullets glanced harmlessly off the beast's chest, spent rounds spiraling through the air after deflecting from the dragon's massive body.

"Your weapons appear to have no effect on the dragon," the official recited. Rathus glanced around the column at the official, who was standing off to one side, holding his clipboard and looking over at the Adventurer group with a quiet, pensive look on his face. Rathus frowned. Wasn't this... kind of a weird situation?

The Dragon twisted, and Rathus grabbed Artur by the scruff of the neck, shoving the Orc down as the dragon's tail whipped towards them, shattering the pillar and raining rubble down upon the pair. The Gun Knight glanced over at the other pillar, where Ruth and Mitras were hiding. It appeared untouched; the beast had focused its ire upon him. Rathus holstered his EM-16, which was sucked into the inter-dimensional space of the Holdster, leaving him with his hand hovering over the magical item.

The Gun That Kills Dragons. The Black Arrow. He hadn't used it since Baron Durgen's estate, which had honestly been really wasteful. He only had two more shots remaining in it. He'd wanted at least one test shot to make sure that it worked, but against an actual dragon...

Rathus hesitated, looking up at the monster. This... wasn't adding up. He moved his hand away from his Holdster, and quickly Recalled, intensifying his Battle Trance to simultaneously take in his surroundings while comparing it to the past few moments. For one thing, the official was far too calm. While it was supposedly true that dragons had human-level intelligence, even if they'd come to some sort of arrangement or... employment, there was still the risk of accidental injury. But the official seemed completely unconcerned. What's more, the dragon wasn't wearing a uniform, so the odds of them actually employing it were pretty low.

"It doesn't make sense," he muttered to himself.

"Seems about right to me," Artur replied, shrugging and scratching at one ear, which was probably still ringing from the flashbang.

"What?" Rathus asked, glancing quickly at Artur before turning his attention back to the dragon. "Why would you expect a dragon?"

"Well... a dragon at the end of a dungeon?"

Rathus ducked as the tail swept through the space he had been standing, sending the wind whipping around him. The Dragon completed its spin and began to puff out its chest again, its throat glowing.

"Go!" Rathus shouted, pushing Artur out of their ruined cover and towards the other pillar. The Gun Knight drew a TAC-9 and fired off a staccato burst of shots as he ran and slid behind the other pillar. The shots again had no effect, not even slowing the dragon down as it belched fire at the ruined column they had just fled from. Rathus stared at the molten pile of slag that had once been the pillar's base, then turned to Artur.

"Are you telling me most dungeons have a dragon at the end?" The Gun Knight was tentatively developing a new respect for Adventurers, if that were the case. As well as a realization that maybe he needed to rethink his approach to certain obligations.

"Well... no," Artur admitted. "Not that I've heard of. But it just.... feels right, doesn't it? A dungeon and a dragon?"

Ruth nodded emphatically, and Rathus sighed, mentally re-adjusting his level of respect. He turned back to the dragon. It did "feel" right, didn't it? But at the same time...

He looked to the pile of teacups which had previously been marked as the 'Dragon's hoard'. It was pretty low effort, as far as simulacrum went. They could afford a treasure chest, and real hidden doors, but had to fake a chasm, and fake a dragon's lair, but not the dragon? Rathus hesitated. Unless... he glanced over. The official was staying out of the dragon's way, but was still looking completely unphased.

The Gun Knight looked back to the teacups and Recalled, dropping even deeper into his Battle Trance. He overlaid his memories on the details of the scene ahead of him. The teacups had shifted from their original position of course, tremors from the dragon's attacks causing the pile to shift and slide apart. But... he examined his memories of the dragon's movements, and noticed... that the tremors didn't quite line up to the footfalls of the beast. And... he thought back to the shots he had fired at the dragon. At the moment the gun had fired... there had been no reflection in the dragon's eyes. The lighting hadn't changed at all.

Rathus had a sudden realization as to where the guild's effect budget had gone.

"The dragon's an illusion," he announced to the rest of the team. Artur's eyes widened, and Mitras nodded once, as if she'd already known. Considering that an illusion this in-depth had to be the work of Star Magic, he wasn't particularly surprised. Ruth furrowed her brow, instead, and kicked one of the stones that had fallen from the column when the dragon had shorn it in two. It barely budged, and she placed her foot against it, shoving it and moving it an inch or two.

"That's quite the illusion, Rathus," she noted, doubt coloring her voice. The Gun Knight nodded to her, reaching into his jacket and fiddling with something in his inner pocket, before pulling out a closed fist. He opened it slightly to show her a hidden cigarette, before pressing it to one of the glowing sections of the column. His glove sizzled against the red-hot stone, and smoke poured off of it. He brought the charred hand back to the princess and opened his fist again, to furtively show that the cigarette had not lit, or even charred, despite it being right up against the column with the rest of his fist.

He opened his hand entirely, exposing the cigarette to the room at large, where it belatedly flicked into life, burning with a false flame. The Gun Knight lifted it to his mouth and took a long drag, blowing out smoke.

"Yeah," he replied. "A really good illusion. I can even taste it. But..." He lifted it and took another very long drag, then held the cigarette up. "They can't make it actually burn. I can feel the heat, smell the smoke, see it burnin', but it ain't gettin' any shorter."

"So... what you're saying is we aren't in any danger?" Artur asked. He glanced around the column, and seemed a little disappointed, somehow.

"In danger of failin'," Rathus replied. "And I'm pretty sure the rocks could hurt us. I reckon they got a Goblin working the tremors and such."

"Hm," Artur mused. "If it's a really good illusion, then we just want to treat it like a real dragon, right?"

Rathus nodded, looking at his belt. "I think I should be able to make it to the pillar on the other side'a the room. I can draw its attention and flashbang it while you guys make a break for it."

He looked to Ruth, who nodded, then to Mitras, who stared blankly at Artur, then to Artur, who was not present. The Gun Knight whirled around to see the Orc Adventurer walking calmly out into the middle of the room, holding his axe in one hand. The dragon stared at the man, looking just as perplexed as Rathus felt.

Artur glanced over at the group and gave them a thumbs up, before closing his eyes and Manifesting. The skin around his eyes began to shift, shimmering and hardening into a metallic sheen, as the Orc's skin turned to steel. He lifted his axe and held it fast between both hands. The dragon stared down at him, and he met its gaze, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat before he Spoke:

"STEEL"

His axe rippled as the effect of the True Name passed over it, and the head of the weapon began to waver.

The dragon, in response, cleared its throat as well, before engulfing the Orc in a belch of white-hot dragonfire. Mitras jerked in shock, reacting viscerally to the sight, despite knowing that the illusory fire couldn't hurt Artur. Rathus sighed.

"And we were doin' so well.... I reckon we—"

He trailed off as the dragonfire cleared, and Artur stood, unharmed in its passing. The Orc's skin was glowing red-hot, as if he had been cast from an ingot and freshly drawn from the forge. He had Manifested his Gift of Metal fully, and it was apparent from his quiet glow that the dragon's jets of fuel couldn't melt his steel frame. He took a step forward, holding his axe ahead of him, eyes, skin, and weapon blazing.

"THIS AXE OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!" he roared, staring the dragon down. The beast took a step back in apprehension, as Artur advanced.

"ITS BURNING BLADES TELL ME TO DEFEAT YOU!" The Orc's pace increased into a run, as he charged directly at the monster ahead of him. The dragon quickly inhaled, ducking its head low and spraying out a gout of fire. Artur leapt into the air, raising his axe above him as ground below turned into a sea of roiling flames.

"TAKE THIS! NAMED MOVE:" he shouted, drawing back the axe to ready a devastating overhead chop. The Name of Steel rippled through the weapon, and as Rathus watched, the glowing blades expanded, doubling, tripling, quadrupling in size, continuing to grow until each head of the double-bladed axe dwarfed the Orc. Artur reached the apex of his leap and began to swing, plummeting down towards the dragon, whose head was still lowered from its last attack. Snarling, the dragon lunged up to meet him.

"" Artur spoke, activating the Named Move and slamming his giant weapon down, splitting the illusory dragon in twain and punching into the stone floor with enough force that the entire cavern shook. Dust and rock erupted from the impact crater, and Artur struck a victorious pose, looking up at the false dragon. The illusion stared down at him for a moment, unharmed, before it promptly vanished, along with the flames, the smoke, and all the other effects that the unseen caster had placed over the room.

Rathus glanced down at his gloves, no longer charred, and felt the heat of the room vanish in an instant. Only the shattered columns remained, the room otherwise returning to how it had been before the dragon's appearance.

Artur stood up straight, his skin no longer glowing, but shining with a metallic, silver sheen. The orc rubbed his nose, looking over to the official.

"So, how was that?"

The official opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked down at his clipboard in confusion, and hesitated. "Your, uh... weapons have no effect... er... give me a second."

The flustered Merrow turned away and picked up his Shell Phone, holding it to his ear. After a short delay, he spoke into it.

"What happened?"

The Merrow strolled away from the group, resting one wrist against his waist, hand cocked to the side to hold the clipboard.

"Dispelled? Was it that big of a hit?" He glanced over at Artur, who was standing proudly with his axe over one shoulder. The Orc had un-Manifested, his skin back to its normal green hue.

"The caster? No, I don't think..." the official glanced over towards Mitras. "Yeah, I can check." He closed his eyes and they began to flicker, as he reviewed the fight. Rathus glanced at Mitras, who kept a perfect poker face, the same emotionless expression staring ahead.

"No," the official replied finally. "She didn't cast at all. I was watching. It wasn't her."

He frowned as the person on the other end of the line spoke. "Yes, I do know what it looks like. Yes, I— No..." A look of disgust passed across his face. "Why the hell would I defend— No. Absolutely not."

He sighed. "Look, can you just start it back up? It's kind of..."

"I'm not arguing that with you!" he shouted back, "I'm just asking if— Fine. You can't get a potion?"

Artur moved back to Rathus, flashing the group a wide, cheesy grin.

"Did you guys see that? I hit it so hard the whole thing popped!"

Mitras smiled at him, and gave a single nod. "Yes."

"I just hit it once and it, uh..." The Orc looked at Rathus, and hesitated. "I mean... I guess it was an illusion after all, so it probably wasn't uh, all that—"

Rathus clapped him on the shoulder, interrupting him with a smile. "Good job."

Artur smiled and rubbed at the back of his head. "Y-yeah? Yeah. It was pretty good, wasn't it? I just hit it once and BAM!"

He looked over at the official, who was now angrily arguing with the person on the other line.

"I know about the shortage, you don't have to tell me about it. What do you expect me to do without a dragon? I don't think they're going to wait around patiently for a couple hours while you get Carrie."

He turned and looked back at the team, then sighed again.

"Fine. Yeah, I— I know, already. I'll work something out. Plan C, probably."

"Weird that they're skipping plan B," Artur noted, speaking to Rathus on an aside.

"Perhaps it isn't sequential, but the letter instead stands for something?" Ruth suggested.

"What do you think it stands for?" the Orc asked her.

As if on cue, the the official ended his call, and quickly placed a second call, asking for Dougall. After a moment's delay, the ground began to rumble, the columns around the team shaking as if the earth had gotten tired of their shit and was doing its best to fuck them up.

"You defeat the dragon soundly," the official announced, walking back to them. "But unfortunately, it appears that without the beast's magical abilities in play anymore, the dungeon cannot stand on its own. You must escape, unless you wish to be buried alive miles beneath the earth, this dungeon as your tomb."

Rathus, Ruth, and Artur all stared at the Merrow man, eyes wide with incredulity, horror, and excitement respectively.

"Ah," Mitras said out loud. "Collapse."

********

The Red Thread of Fate fled through the tunnels, the stone walls shaking as loose blocks fell from the ceiling. Rathus casually backhanded a stone the size of a breadbox, shattering it into dust, which promptly got in his eyes. Annoying.

"The dungeon is collapsing," the official huffed, running alongside them. "If you do not escape quickly, you'll be trapped forever, miles beneath the earth."

"Sounds about right," Rathus said, rubbing dust from his face. "At least it's a straight shot back from here."

"I... can't..." Ruth gasped, her face red. She staggered as she ran, pushing herself to her limit to keep up.

Rathus slowed a hair. "It's fine. I can—"

"Haste," Mitras cast, her eyes flashing as she placed a hand firmly on Ruth's back. The princess's features immediately blurred as the spell took effect, multiple after-images trailing after her as she moved. Her speed increased, and the princess seemed to realize it, slowing to a casual stroll that easily kept pace with the rest of the group.

Ruth smiled five or six graceful smiles, her features swimming as if she'd slammed six shots of vodka, then projected the drunkenness to everybody around her instead.

"ThankyoukindlyMitras,thatwasawonderfulhelp.IthinkI'llbequitealrightwiththis,Rathus,sononeedtoworryaboutcarryingme."

Mitras stared at her in silence as she analyzed the stream of exceptionally formal word vomit, then nodded once.

"Thisspelliscertainlysomething!Doyousupposeyoucouldcastthisontherestofusaswell?Idoimaginewewouldbeoutofthedungeoninnotimeflat,ifwewereallsoenhanced."

"...Mana cost." Mitras replied, her placid expression a bit disturbed by Ruth's blurring speech.

Ruth calmly jackhammered her head up and down in understanding. The group turned a corner and passed through the treasure room. The table still stood in the center of the chamber, its assortment of magical wares sparkling enticingly, like a shiny nickel in the bottom of a shark tank.

"The loot!" Artur shouted, distraught as he came to a grim realization. "The cave-in is going to crush it!"

"They ain't gonna destroy hundreds of Dosh worth'a artifacts just fer the sake of the scenario," Rathus pointed out, as he vaulted over the table.

Artur hesitated, stopping before the table and looking down at the dozens of pieces of enchanted bullshit laid carefully out before him.

"But..."

His greed and prudence fought in his mind, a surprisingly even match considering the fact that he was an Adventurer. A rock fell from the ceiling, shattering on the back of his head. He winced, rubbing at his head, but not taking his eyes from the treasure. Cautiously, he reached out one hand, but jerked back as a wind of Ruth blew past him.

The princess, arms blurring under the effects of the Haste spell, quickly and unceremoniously scooped the contents of the table into her bag.

"Wecansortouttherestoftheseoncewe'resafelyoutofthedungeon.Weneedn'ttakethemall,butifwe'retobegradedonhowmuchlootwecaptureinanyevent,wemayaswellmaximizeourchances.Wecanreturntherestofthemattheexit,andperhapsevenearnextracreditfromourgenerosity."

Rathus quickly Recalled her words, slowing them down in his playback, then nodded. "Right. If the enemies in here are meant ta be brigands, I reckon those items might belong t'someone. Might be there's some hidden objective. Good thinkin'."

The official jotted something down on his clipboard, and followed after the party as they continued on. Rocks fell as they left the chamber blocking off their passage back into the room once they'd exited. The stone pile slid to one side to allow the official to jog past, before sliding back into place once he'd left.

The stone walls continued to shake around the party as they fled, and before long, they came to the large room where they'd fought the pack of brigands. Rathus immediately dropped into his Battle Trance, looking about the room to scan for any hazards. The dungeoneer crew had done a good job rebuilding the room after their battle damage, and then had done an equally good job of re-ruining the room, collapsing the ceiling in some parts, pitting the floor in others, and giving it an extremely convincing appearance of a ruin caught in the middle of its ruining.

His eyes immediately set upon the giant wooden horse, which had been moved from its original position, and was now placed nonchalantly adjacent to their path out of the room. The giant glass eye of the horse stared down at him as it did its best to act casual.

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"Waaaaaiiiiiiiiit..." Artur said, his voice and motions slowed down to a hilarious drawl to the perception of the Gun Knight, still in his Battle Trance. "Thhaaaaaaatttt''''sssss..."

"Rathus, do you suppose they've set another ambush for us? It seems to fit the atmosphere of the rest of this test, but..." Ruth asked, moving at normal speed to his perception.

The Gun Knight nodded, drawing his TAC-9 and quickly pulling out another magazine. He wasn't about to fall for that trick again. Mainly because they were trying to pull a completely different trick.

Rathus spun and fired at a few nondescript barrels, exploding the head of the Goblin 'brigand' who had bumped it as they hid. A pack of six more brigands burst out from behind the barrels, charging towards the group with an array of wooden training weapons. Rathus noticed the same elite among them, freshly un-deadened, and now wielding a pair of wooden short-axes, her hair flowing out behind a cheap plastic mask of a tiger. Rathus leaned his head towards the official, dropping out of his trance long enough to address him.

"So, is she s'pposed to be a tiger, or is that just decorative?"

The official glanced over and nodded. "Hm? Oh, just decorative. I think she's meant to be a Walpurg?"

"Hm."

Artur grinned a smile, pulling out the pair of axes he'd grabbed from the treasure pile previously, "Looks like we'll have to fight our way through, huh?"

Rathus slowed to a halt, grabbing Artur by the shoulder before the adventurer could go charging off into the crowd of Goblins hurrying to cut them off.

"Hold on a sec," Rathus cautioned him. "We haven't had a chance to identify those axes yet, have we?"

Artur glanced down at the pair of brass handaxes he was wielding. The Gun Knight pointed, indicating the green gems set in the handle of each weapon.

"I wouldn't say I'm much of an expert, but a green gem? Green usually means poison, don't it? Poison'll kill a Goblin for good. No coming back. I dunno if it's worth risking it, when you got your old axe still."

Artur held the axe up, frowning at it. "I thought green meant healing, didn't it?"

Rathus hesitated, glancing down at his potion pouch. "Well... healing potions are red, ain't they? So ain't red healing?"

"Isupposethatitmaybedifferentforpotionsthanitisforweaponenchantments,Rathus,butisn'tpurplepoison?That'swhatIhadbeenleadtobelieveby..." The princess jerked her head violently as she thoughtfully looked off to the side at maximum speed. "crediblesources." she finished, after about half a breath's worth of delay.

"What?" Artur asked.

"She said she thinks poison is purple," Rathus translated. The pair looked over to Mitras, who had not yet weighed in on the debate. She looked at the weapons, then held her hand up, holding it flat before wavering it slightly like a balancing scale.

"Fifty-fifty," she replied quietly.

"Hmm," Artur mused. "Fifty percent chance of not killing them, huh? Those are pretty good odds."

"Or, a fifty percent chance'a murdering a training partner," Rathus noted.

"Yeah," Artur admitted with a nod. "That's also a pretty good chance. I guess there's a good chance of either, so it'd come down to which one's more likely."

Rathus opened his mouth to speak, but left it unsaid, realizing (incorrectly) that Artur was pointing out that the odds probably weren't exactly fifty-fifty, rather than simply displaying an ignorance of basic probability.

"Well... probably not worth it," the Orc concluded, re-sheathing his new weapons and drawing his trusty axe. "I guess we do this the old-fashioned way!"

Mitras reached out for him, but he dashed away before she could make contact, charging at the pack of goblins. The elite goblin charged towards him, but leaped up and over him, beelining directly for Rathus. Artur hesitated, looking back at her as he ran, before fixing his resolve and swinging his axe at the crowd.

Rathus watched as the Goblin woman charged, flipping her knives around into the optimal stabbing position, showing that she meant business.

She weaved through the battlefield, dashing in a serpentine pattern to avoid all the shots that the Gun Knight was not shooting at her. Rathus watched her out of the corner of his eye, looking up and scanning the ceiling instead.

The elite feinted to the right, before springing to one side and launching herself at the Gun Knight. She closed the last ten feet in one giant leap, drawing her knives over her head in preparation for a mighty blow against Rathus, who had seemed to find something he was looking for, and turned back to meet her.

She struck with both blades, missing the Gun Knight as he ducked forward under her attack, before spinning and catching her by the ankles.

He continued the momentum of his spin, yanking her out of her trajectory and swinging her around like a baseball bat. He did one full turn, then another half, before releasing the Goblin, sending her twisting through the air towards the far edge of the room.

The elite rotated in the air using nothing but sheer abs, and landed in a crouch, looking up defiantly at the Gun Knight moments before a massive chunk of stone fell from the ceiling, killing her instantly.

"We don't really got time to waste fighting," Rathus pointed out. "The whole place is comin' down."

With the elite handled, Rathus drew his revolver and fired off a few shots at the brigands ahead of him. The first two shots took their targets in the head, but the third target saw the shots coming. With a quick flick of her arm, she managed to deflect the bullet, her wooden training club exploding from the force of the shot. Rathus nodded in quiet approval before ricocheting a shot off of one of the wooden horse's axles, hitting the brigand in the side of the head. He closed in towards the exit, with Mitras and Ruth in tow.

Artur nodded to the group as they caught up, breathing heavily. Mitras gave him a look of concern, but the Adventurer seemed unharmed, if slightly disheveled. He slashed and bisected one of the two Goblins facing off against him, before backing away from a wild swing of a wooden mallet.

Mitras lifted her staff, and the crystal in the end glowed as she cast a spell.

"Magic missile," she said quietly, and a salvo of three balls of magic flew from her staff, exploding the second Goblin's chest.

"Sorry," Artur said, catching his breath. "I must be getting tired. These guys were a lot tougher than last time."

Rathus considered the fact the Orc's Gift of Resolve made them practically tireless in their endurance, but thought better of bringing it up. He had a pretty good idea of why the Goblins had been easier on the way in, but if Mitras didn't want to tell Artur, he wasn't going to be the one who brought it up.

"It's fine," Rathus said instead, "But we need to get moving."

He moved past the last two brigands, tipping his hat to them politely as he blew their brains out with a shot from his gun. The way clear, the team pushed forward, but it wasn't long before a whooping sound came from behind.

"Rathus,itlookslikewemayhavecompany," Ruth noted, doing an octuple-take over her shoulder as her after-images lagged behind her. Sure enough, more brigands were erupting from hidden alcoves in the room, easily another two dozen.

"That..."

"What the heck? There weren't that many before!" Artur complained, looking over his shoulder as they ran into the hallway leading towards the exit.

"They were on lunch break," the official explained, between gasps for air. They turned a corner, and Artur narrowly swerved out of the way of a falling stone. They continued to run through the shuddering hallway, and before too long, started to see motion in the shadows behind them, as their pursuers turned the corner as well.

"Can'tyoutakecareofthem,Rathus?" Ruth asked. "It'snotasifyouneedtoslowdowntofireagun,afterall."

Rathus didn't bother to argue about how much running threw off your accuracy, as it wasn't the proper time for semantics, and he was a Gun Knight anyways, so he could get away with all kinds of bullshit that would make an ordinary marksman tear out his hair. His mind flashed back to one battle during the Skub wars, where Musashi had dual-wielded bolt-action rifles. He'd never seen such a mixture of disgust, envy, and pain as he'd seen on the guard regiment they were assigned to when that little event had happened.

He turned to fire a few shots behind him, and tripped as the stone beneath his foot fell away. Rathus pitched forward, his shot ricocheting off the ceiling and bouncing between the legs of one of their pursuers. He tucked his shoulder as he fell and turned it into a graceful roll that looked almost intentional, before staggering back to his feet with a few lunging steps.

"I'll fire a couple'a ricochet shots the next time we come to a corner," he replied. "Just focus on running."

A light ahead of them in the tunnel, glowing through the dust and scattered mildew soon resolved into the chasm room. A pack of goblins stood at the bridge, and came dashing towards them, wielding wooden weapons. The old man on stilts and the wolf were joined by a Goblin wearing a goat mask, and a Goblin dressed in a giant cabbage costume.

"The old man!" Ruth shouted, her Haste spell wearing off. "I knew he was the ringleader."

The cabbage raised a pair of crossbows and leveled them at Mitras. The leafy green loosed them simultaneously, and the bolts shattered on Artur's shield, as the Orc dove in front of his comrade to intercept the shots. His eyes blazed above the edge of his shield, and he darted forwards, bullrushing the cabbage and knocking the Goblin onto his back. The force of the blow rolled the vegetable backwards, the Goblin's arms and legs flailing uselessly out of the massive round bulk of the costume.

The cabbage rolled into the chasm, and their screams faded away, as the Goblin laying on the black carpet relaxed and slowly pitched their voice down to simulate their fall. Rathus ducked a wild swing by the Goat brigand and grabbed him about the waist, performing a quick and routine suplex before tossing the stunned brigoat into the chasm next to the cabbage.

Ruth faced down the ringleader of the troupe, staring at the old man as he menaced her with an old wooden staff, upon which he'd taped a wooden dagger. The princess leaned back out of the way of a swing, then lunged forwards with an unpracticed shove. In a real fight, it probably wouldn't have been the most effective maneuver, but against a Goblin on a set of stilts, it was more than enough. The old man gave a shout as he pitched backwards, breaking in half at the legs as he lost balance and fell off the stilts.

The back of the brigand's head slammed into the stone as he fell, and he fell still. Ruth looked down at her opponent, ready for him to spring back up, but she realized he had either knocked himself out, or had been rendered temporarily deceased. She moved past the Wolf, who was crossing 'blades' with Mitras's staff, and crossed the bridge.

"Hurry!" she shouted, beckoning over the rest of the team as the pack of brigands began to pour in from the hallway. Artur flanked the wolf with Mitras, burying his axe in the Goblin's back. Their opponent went down, and the pair headed up the steps, moments behind Rathus.

The bridge shook as they crossed, and as soon as they made it across, Rathus turned back to see the horde running towards it.

"Artur! Cut the ropes!" he shouted. The Orc responded instantly, raising his axe high above his head.

"STEEL!" he Spoke, and his axe blades grew to double their size, large enough that his chop tore through the entire width of the bridge in a single blow. The blades shrunk back to their ordinary size and shape as the bridge fell away, tumbling a few feet into the 'abyss' below.

The party headed for the door, giving a wide berth to one of the walls as it collapsed into sliding rocks. Rathus spared one last glance over his shoulder as he crossed the threshold and swore. Their pursuers were leaping the 5-foot chasm instead, hardly being slowed at all.

"Ain't that cheatin'?" he asked. The official answered Rathus with a series of gasps like a dying fish, sweat pouring from his brow. Rathus put the rude response out of mind, focusing on their escape. The last obstacle lay ahead, but their pace had slowed now that Ruth's haste had worn off.

"Mitras! We could use another Haste spell, if you can manage it."

The Star Mage shook her head as she ran. "Not enough Mana."

He could hear their pursuers getting closer as they made it to the pit. Thankfully, it looked like Dougall had left Ruth's bridge in place, and the princess dashed across, shrieking a bit as she realized the drop below her. Mitras and Artur followed close behind once she'd successfully made it across. Rathus came to the edge of the bridge, and came to a stop. The brigands were closing in on them. At this rate...

"Rathus?" the princess asked, skidding to a stop as she realized he was no longer keeping pace. She turned to see the Gun Knight at the edge of the light cast by Mitras's staff. "Why..."

"Go!" The Gun Knight shouted, waving his hand to shoo them away. "We keep goin' like this and they'll catch up t'us, and then..." it'll be a pain in the ass to fight our way out, Rathus thought, leaving it unsaid. "I'll hold 'em off here."

Mitras nodded, and grabbed the princess, hauling her back. Ruth struggled to get free, reaching out for the Gun Knight.

"Rathus!" she shouted, "Don't do this!"

"Don't worry about me, just focus on gettin' yourselves out in one piece," the Gun Knight responded, turning away to face down the oncoming hordes. "I'll be fine."

Rathus disappeared from view as the light from Mitras's staff drew further down the passage. Ruth gave up her shouting as the Merrow hauled her away. She turned to run, clenching her eyes shut to stem the flow of tears before it started, which was very touching but also really stupid considering she was running through a collapsing dungeon.

"Mr. Rathus..." Artur choked, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll never forget you!" He turned —tears glistening in the dark— and ran, leaving the Gun Knight to face down the brigands alone.

********

The Red Thread of Fate, short one member, escaped from the dungeon, which immediately stopped rumbling once they cleared the threshold. Artur leaped clear of the entrance, rolling across the ground. A good reaction, considering how frequently dungeons tended to explode moments after you exited them, but in this case it just made him look rather silly, Mitras and Ruth followed a half-step behind him. The Princess staggered forward, leaning over to brace herself on her knees as she gasped for breath.

"And... time."

Ruth looked up between gasps to see another one of the Guild's workers, holding a second clipboard and brass pocketwatch. "That's the dungeon cleared," she said, marking down the group's time on her clipboard and smiling down at the out-of-breath princess.

"We won't be able to tally your final score until Gary gets out of the dungeon, but from what I hear, you did pretty well!"

The official set her clipboard on top of a nearby barrel, lifting a tray of small paper cups, before offering them to the party. The princess looked up at the cup of water and stared at the abstract blue and purple pattern on the side, focusing on nothing in particular as she worked to connect the thoughts in her head.

"Wait... he's not with us?" She stood to her feet, wavering slightly. She looked about while her hands worked subconsciously, dusting her legs off and reaching out to take one of the cups. She curtsied automatically, frowning. "Where did he go?"

"Stayed with Rathus," Mitras explained, her face blank. She lifted her cup of water and sipped from it.

"Rathus..." the princess said quietly. "He... stayed behind so that we could escape. He—"

"Agh!" Artur shouted, throwing his empty paper cup on the ground in a rage. The official glanced down at it, and the Adventurer sheepishly picked it up and placed it into a proper waste receptacle. "We— I... I should have stayed and helped him! Or made him come with us. I just let him face them all down by himself, and now he's..." Artur couldn't finish the sentence, clenching his teeth in pain and frustration. "He's..."

"Disqualified," Mitras finished looking guiltily towards the entrance.

The princess froze mid-drink, looking over at the Merrow in confusion. Realization hit her, and she instantly began to flush. "Disqualified," she repeated, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "O-of course. He's—"

She coughed and straightened her posture, covering her self-consciousness in an air of regal superiority, like a cat walking away from a failed jump. "Of course, it was a training course, after all. He wouldn't be dead. It seems I simply got caught up in the excitement."

Artur turned away, crossing his arms. "Uh, yeah. Me too. I knew he wasn't dead. I just thought, that, y'know, it was a shame that he was going to be disqualified."

"Who's going to be disqualified?" Rathus asked, walking out of the dungeon and looking none the worse for wear. "Did one'a guys trip or something?"

"Rathus!" Artur shouted, his expression brightening instantly. "You're okay!"

"Uh, yeah?" Rathus asked, looking at the Orc in confusion. "It was just a couple'a Goblins with sticks and such. I have guns. Wasn't ever much of a risk."

The Gun Knight dusted his shoulder off nonchalantly, before adjusting his hat. "Why, were you worried, or somethin'?"

"N-Nah," Artur lied. Ruth said nothing, merely looking away.

The official came out of the tunnel behind the Gun Knight, his clothing disheveled and a haggard look on his face.

"Well... you've successfully escaped the dungeon," he informed them. "Please deposit the Golden Joey Bones in the proper Golden Joey Bones receptacle." He directed their attention to a properly-shaped Golden Joey Bones receptacle, next to a large iron bin.

"Any equipment you managed to loot from the dungeon can be deposited in the adjacent bin, to improve your score."

Artur frowned. "Hang on a second, I thought you said that we could keep anything we took out of the dungeon!"

Gary nodded, sighing. "That's correct, you can. However, I should note that while the equipment is indeed not cursed, for the most part, it's simply decent mundane equipment that's been enchanted with a Glow spell to detect as enchanted for any Star Mages looking them over. There are a few actual pieces of starter gear in there, and most of the potions are real, but..."

Artur gave the official a betrayed look, and drew his pair of new handaxes, causing the Merrow man to jerk back unconsciously. "So, these just glow? Is that it?"

Gary nodded again, nervously this time. "Y-yes, unfortunately. The activation word is "Verdant."

Artur looked down at his axes, eyes full of disappointment. "Verdant," he said. The green gems flashed, and a brilliant line of deep green light traced its way up the handle and across the edge of the blade. Artur turned the axe over and looked at the supernatural glow coming off the business end of the axe.

"Okay," he admitted, "that's cool as hell. I'll keep 'em. Verdant."

The axes dimmed once more, and the Adventurer put his new weapons away, looking over to Ruth.

"Do we want to just dump everything except the first stuff we grabbed?" he asked.

The princess gave a sage nod, and walked over to the depository. She opened her bag of holding and carefully reached into it, withdrawing the Golden Joey Bones. She awkwardly rotated it around until it fit into the holding receptacle, and was rewarded with a calming chime, and a burst of confetti.

She reveled in this celebration, clawing at the air with her hands to keep the paper from getting caught up in her hair. Safely defended from the tissue paper menace, she moved over to the bin, which was marked with a helpful sign that informed her that "LOOT GOES HERE."

She reached into her bag with both hands, pulling out the gear they'd taken off the corpses of the Goblin brigands, tossing it into the bin. Next, she moved on to the various 'enchanted' items she'd carelessly hurled into her bag as they fled. She pulled out a spear, a helmet, and a pair of winged sandals when her bag suddenly began to vibrate. The princess moved her hand back, dropping a dagger back into the bag, moments before the shimmering surface of the interdimensional space's entrance disappeared, revealing the inside of a leather bag about the size of a small purse.

"Ah!" she shouted, "My bag is out of mana!" She turned the bag upside down, but it stubbornly refused to defy physics or to be larger on the inside than the outside. "All... most of my things are in there!"

She looked over to the official(s). "Unfortunately, it appears I've run into something of a setback. Could I possibly trouble you to recharge my bag?"

Gary looked over at the other official, who probably wouldn't get enough meaningful screentime to earn a name. They gave the princess a pained look.

"Sorry, but we don't really have the Mana to spare," she said, wincing as if the terrorist attack on the Astral Well system had somehow been her fault. "You could probably go to the Astral Well, though..."

Ruth sighed. "I imagine it would be quite a while to make a trip there and back. You would be fine to delay the grading until I return?"

Gary shook his head again. "Sorry. Regulations are that the grading ends as soon as you leave this room."

"Even if I have the salvage right here, and would give it to you, were I able?"

"Even then," the female official said, shrugging. "Sorry, but that's just the way the rules are set up. You wouldn't believe some of the schemes we've seen people pull to try to get around it."

Gary shuddered as he Recalled inadvertently. "I remember this one group that left and broke into a woodworking shop to try to make their own counterfeit wooden daggers to try to boost their score. They called us from jail asking if they'd get points for breaking out of their cell."

Ruth sighed, shaking her head as she hooked her bag of holding back onto her belt. Mitras held her hand up at head level, walking over to Ruth. The princess looked up at her hopefully.

"It's not out of mana," the Star Mage said quietly. Ruth looked down at it in confusion, and Mitras continued. "Bags of Holding have a safety measure. They stop working when they're almost out of mana. It still has a little mana left."

Ruth prodded her bag warily. "Safety measures? What... happens if they are disabled?"

"If the bag of holding runs out of mana, it will close instantly."

"Hm," the princess said, toying with the flap of her bag. "What if there's something still in the opening, or if I'm, say, reaching inside?"

"Severed."

Ruth jerked her hand away from the bag. "...perhaps it would be better to leave the safety measures in place."

"So," Gary asked, "Are you ready to receive your final grade?"

******

"1300-1400...." Ruth said, holding the paper certificate above her head. "I... suppose it's a decent rating, but..." she looked over at Rathus, disappointment apparent in her eyes, but said nothing. "Well... I suppose it still hasn't been finalized.

"I mean, it's kind of a combo rating, ain't it?" Rathus asked. "I doubt they just add 'em together. Wouldn't make sense for a pack of six 500 ELO chumps to be considered as strong as Jack the Giantslayer. 'sprobably the average between your score and mine."

"Hmph," Ruth said, considering it. "Well, if that's the case, Rathus, I would have expected you to do better than 800 ELO." She kept a poker face that Mitras would have approved of, and looked at Rathus out of the corner of her eyes.

The Gun Knight chuckled, taking a sip from his drink.

"Well, I must've just been tired."

"Alright, we got the info!" Artur said triumphantly, holding up a stack of papers as he walked back to the table. Mitras followed close behind him, huddling with her cloak held tight against her, and nursing a Mana potion, holding the tiny flask and taking tinier sips.

"Great news," Rathus said. "The sooner we can read it, the sooner I can get back to tracking it. Hopefully the trail hasn't gone cold yet."

"It's a giant wolf, Rathus. I doubt it'll be the most stealthy creature in the woods," Ruth countered.

"You'd be surprised," Artur replied, flopping into a chair. "They've already upped the reward, a couple of groups went after it with no luck. One of them even got lost or something, they left yesterday and still aren't back."

"Party wipe," Mitras suggested, taking another sip of her mana potion. The princess looked over to Rathus, furrowing her brow with concern. The Gun Knight gave her a reassuring shake of his head.

"I doubt I'll run into much trouble," he replied. "Unless the wolf's got somethin' we need to be worried about." He gestured with one finger to the dossier, and Artur jerked up from his relaxed slouch and grabbed the sheaf of papers.

"Ah, right," he said, "the dossier."

Artur flipped open the packet and began skimming through it. Rathus noted with dismay that the illustration on the front of the dossier was not, in fact, a three-headed wolf, but was one of the default wolf sketches available for use in a typesetter's shop. He'd flipped through the Sir Shudder, Shock and Sons Catalogue of Ready-Made Illustrations once when he'd been waiting on a job, and so had a tendency to recognize such images when they cropped up. It was his gift, and his curse.

"Let's see..." Artur mused. "It's a giant wolf, with three heads."

"Makes sense," Rathus nodded.

"It's been spotted in the nearby forest, and while it hasn't reportedly attacked anybody yet, there have been people who've gone missing, and a few shipments that haven't arrived on time, or at all. It's suspected that it might be involved."

"I feel as if a giant wolf would leave a bigger mess," Ruth thought out loud. "A lone traveler, I could see, but do you really think it could vanish an entire caravan on its own?"

Mitras nodded. "Monsters that leave a mess get dealt with. Experienced monsters learn to clean up."

Artur continued to read through the dossier. "So far, encounters with the wolf have been extremely hostile, and it reacts to challenges with extreme prejudice, using devastating hit-and-run techniques."

Rathus took another sip of his drink. It sounded like your typical giant wolf, so far.

"It doesn't have any direct special abilities besides its size and strength, but it does seem as if it may have some sort of passive Natural Law, as people who have encountered it claimed that escaping was harder than it should have been, as if the terrain stymied them at every turn."

Rathus nodded. "Might be something to keep in mind. Where does it keep its den?"

Artur flipped through the dossier. "Unknown," he replied.

"Any specific trails it prefers, any hunting spots?"

"Unknown."

"When was it last spotted?"

"Two days ago."

Rathus sighed. "Well... I suppose the Natural Law thing is news. I don't know if I'd say this whole detour was worth it, but at least it wasn't a total waste of time."

"It wasn't a waste of time at all!" Artur replied cheerily. "After all, you found us!" He threw an arm around Mitras, pulling her close in a gesture that was probably far more platonic than the Merrow's blushing cheeks would suggest.

"Right, sorry," Rathus apologized, setting his drink down on his coaster. "Didn't mean t'be rude. I just meant a waste with respect t'tracking the wolf."

"Well, that won't be a waste, either!" Artur assured him. "You're part of the Red Thread of Fate, now, and four heads are better than one."

"While I do appreciate the help in trackin' down the wolf, I'm not sure that we'll be sticking around for long. I am a Gun Knight after all. I've got certain duties. Don't think I'm much for the Adventurer's life anyways."

"That's not true," Ruth countered, "Personally, I think you're a natural." She sat in thought for a moment, then her eyes brightened. "Do you think we could get Musashi to join the team as well?"

Rathus gave the princess a severe look. "That, uh, no. Nah, I really don't think that'd be a good idea."

Artur and Mitras sat politely as Ruth and Rathus discussed the mutual friend who they'd never met.

"Is that so?" Ruth asked. "Or are you perhaps just worried about getting caught up in his hijinks? Personally, I feel as if he'd make an excellent Adventurer."

The Gun Knight took a drink and shook his head. "Probably better if you don't tell Musashi that."

Ruth cocked her head to the side. "Why? Does he have something against Adventurers?"

Rathus grimaced, realizing he'd probably said too much. "It's... his own personal thing. Ain't really my business to talk about."

"Well... that's disappointing," Ruth sighed.

"In any case," Rathus remarked, bringing the conversation back to the previous comment, "I'd be happy to help you guys claim the bounty for that for the wolf, but I'm still a Gun Knight. I need to get Ruth back to the capital."

Artur looked around furtively. "Ah, right," he said, a bit louder than necessary, "Because she's a princess, after all."

Artur leaned forward, toying with a bit of condensation on the table. "But, you know. If your job is to bodyguard the princess, then it makes sense that you'd join a group of adventurers, if she was going to do that anyways."

Rathus glanced over at the princess, who considered the proposal, then nodded emphatically, indicating that yes, she'd probably do that thing he just said.

The Gun Knight sighed, standing up from the table and draining the rest of his drink.

"Well... let's see how things go after we take care of the wolf."

Rathus took his coat from the back of his chair and shrugged his way into it, heading for the door before turning and looking back at the group.

"Time to move out."