The day began, as the best sort of days usually do, with breakfast. Today, at the End of the Line Inn, it came in the form of a large stack of pancakes (proper ones made with real brioche flour, instead of cheap rye flour mixed with sugar), a few thick slices of bacon, and two steaming-hot eggs, sunny-side up.

For Imperial Gun Knight Rathus McGaff, who was well-acquainted with life on the road, starting out your day with a big, hot breakfast was the pinnacle of a good morning. If Musashi had been there, he might have informed his comrade that there were MUCH better ways to wake up, but he wasn't, and so Rathus was allowed to enjoy his breakfast in peace. A nice, hearty meal. A hot cup of coffee. It was a peaceful summer morning, with the rising sun casting sunbeams through the windows, the smell of freshly-warmed bread permeating the air, and no sound except for the villagers going about the start of the day in the distance, and Ruth's muffled screaming from her room upstairs.

Rathus had met her when she first woke, and her first words to him had been asking to confirm that she wasn't dreaming about yesterday's events. Rathus had been burdened with the unfortunate task of informing her that it was not, in fact, a nightmare, and she really did faint when Musashi walked over. He'd started to reassure her when she'd turned on her heels and re-entered her room, screaming into her pillow in a distraught, shamed agony that instantly sent Rathus back to his teenage years in sympathy.

The Gun Knight had knocked awkwardly for a while, before settling on telling her to scream louder if she was under attack. Rathus had been paying attention while he ate, and so far it'd been about the same intensity of noise. He had to give her credit for her lung capacity, though.

The Gun Knight heard the screaming peter off, and glanced up, a slice of bacon half-in his mouth. He set his hand on the handle of his gun, and tensed up, listening carefully. No sounds of struggle or movement from upstairs. A door opened and closed, a single set of footsteps moving towards the stairway. He entered his battle trance, analyzing the sound of the footfalls. Based on stride length, a bit shorter than five and a half feet. Based on the sound of each footfall, it was a comparatively light person, wearing light, hard-soled shoes.

He chewed pensively, then relaxed fully as the steps down the stairs resolved themselves into Ruth, wearing a peach-colored dress, some flats, and a practiced poker face. The princess walked over to his table, and slid into the seat across from him. She leaned back in the chair, regarding him calmly over steepled fingers.

Rathus glanced at her, then focused his attention back to his plate. He cut off a slice of pancakes, dabbing it in the strawberry-flavored syrup on the plate. He had pushed back pretty hard about staying in town when Ruth had brought the option up yesterday, but when he considered some of the benefits of staying in a high-class Inn like this, well... he was starting to see her point. Speaking of...

He looked back up at the princess. "You look like you're about to try an' sell me something."

She shook her head in response, leaning forward and placing her hands on the edge of the table. "Not exactly. I do have a request of you, Ser Rathus. I'm afraid it is of the gravest importance."

He nodded to her and cut into his egg, the yolk running over his fork and onto the plate. "Shoot."

She nodded, closing her eyes and speaking in a calm, level voice. "I've heard that there are tales of a way to go back in time, to fix things that you wish you'd done another way..."

The Gun Knight shook his head sadly, grunting.

"The Gun That Can Kill The Past is just a myth, unfortunately. Besides, even if it were real, you'd have a long line of people wanting a shot at it before you."

The princess sagged, falling back into her seat. Her expression twisted a bit, into resigned anguish, and she took a deep breath, chest rising and face slowly resolving itself back to neutrality.

"Very well," she muttered, "In that case, which gun of yours has the highest chance of killing me instantly and painlessly?"

"That'd probably be the Pulsar Mine. It can wipe out a whole city block."

"Mm. That's no good," Ruth said, shaking her head. "Far too much collateral damage, I'd prefer to avoid any unnecessary casualties."

Rathus nodded. "Good, because I don't have any on me anyhow."

The princess carefully retrieved a handkerchief from the pouch at her waist, and spread it on the table, scrutinizing it for a moment before adjusting its position.

As Rathus glanced curiously down at it, the princess faceplanted, flopping her cheek onto the expertly-placed handkerchief, which protected her from whatever myriad substance had built up on the table over time.

"Look..." Rathus sighed, "I don't think it's as bad as all tha—"

"Raaaathus!" She groaned, interrupting him. "I doubt that you realize the enormity of this, but I FAINTED. In front of Musashi. THE Musashi."

Rathus took a bite of his bacon and shook his head. "I've embarrassed myself in front of Musashi plenty of times. He's not the kind of person to hold that sort of thing over you."

Ruth scoffed. "Well, sure, but it's a different case for you, isn't it? You're Musashi's teammate. But he's my hero. Can you imagine fainting before your own hero? It's not the sort of thing one can live down."

"I get that. Really, I do," the Gun Knight replied, scratching his cheek. "I've been there, even. But the thing is, I don't think it was all that lived up to begin with. Musashi took it all in stride; it really didn't seem like he thought any less of you."

Ruth glanced up at him, handkerchief stuck to the side of her face. She raised an eyebrow, dislodging it and letting it fall to the table. Doubt was plainly written on her face, but there remained the spark of hope in her eyes.

"Knight's honor," he reaffirmed. "He even told me that a lot of his fans faint when they see him, I guess it's a pretty common thing, so I don't think you need to..."

Ruth deflated, the spark dying out. "Ah. Of course." She sighed, folding onto the table. Rathus' trained eyes could see that her Noble upbringing was holding strong even in her moment of greatest peril, as she somehow was holding herself a bare centimeter above the table, no part of her clothes or body actually coming into contact with the potentially-dirty surface. Rathus admired her core strength, but this probably wasn't the time to comment on that.

"Of course he would simply see me as another fan. One of the many degenerates obsessed with him, with his perfect hair, and flawless body."

Rathus glanced at the book Ruth had brought down to read after breakfast, and raised an eyebrow, diplomatically letting his thoughts go unvoiced. She preempted him, shaking her head fervently.

"No, Rathus, trust me. This pales in comparison to most of the die-hard Musashi fans. I've heard that some girls have even built SHRINES in his image."

"I dunno if that's all that bad," Rathus admitted, "A little overzealous, maybe, but—"

"Made from his trash, and their own, erm... bodily fluids." Ruth elaborated.

Rathus nodded silently, taking a bite of his eggs and trying to put out of mind any similarities drawn by the yolk oozing onto the plate. There were many a time where he was thankful for the Eidetic memory provided by his Vow, allowing him to recall with perfect precision a book he read years ago, or how many shots a combatant had fired. And then there were other times, where he regretted picking up things he'd rather not have to carry with him for the rest of life. This was one of those times. He did his best to put it out of mind.

"Yeah," he sympathized, "I can see why you'd prefer ta avoid that association."

The princess poked at her scramble, which she'd barely eaten. She toyed with a piece of pepper, shifting it around the plate with her fork. Rathus sighed. Put him in front of a gang of bandits, or some kind of monster or war construct, and he'd have no problem springing into action. Things like this, cheering up a princess, well he didn't have nearly as much experience in that field.

Violence was an easy answer for a lot of the problems he came up against, but this probably wasn't one of them. He only had one gun that could make somebody smile, but the Rictus was out of mana, so he couldn't use it regardless of whether or not it was advisable.

"I know it's embarrassing, but I don't think you've gotta beat yourself up about it. I've done plenty of things to make a fool of myself in front of folks I admire. I know it hurts like hell. But it ain't like you to second-guess yourself like this."

Ruth glanced up at him with one eye, which she narrowed derisively.

"With all due respect, Ser Rathus, you've known me for all of a week. You're hardly qualified to speak about what is or isn't 'like me.'"

Rathus shrugged. "Maybe you're right. I suppose there's a lot of sides to you I haven't seen. But that doesn't mean that what I did see was any less a part of you. Even supposing it was all an act, well, it still had to come from somewhere, didn't it?"

Ruth stared at him quietly, digesting his words.

"And I doubt it was an act. You stood up to get a better look in the middle of an assassin attacking us. You can't fake that kind of confidence."

Ruth chuckled a bit, rising slowly from the table and wiping her hands on a napkin. "I would call that more foolhardy rather than confident, honestly."

Rathus speared a pancake and used it to sop up the remaining yolk from his eggs. "Well, I've known plenty of fools, and I've yet to see any of them be embarrassed about th' things they've done before, neither."

He pointed at her with his empty fork, finishing his bite before speaking. "And as much as I don't know you, I know enough to say you ain't a fool. You're one of the more clever prin- professionals I've met."

The clever princess in question rolled her eyes. "Oh? And how many other 'professionals' have you even met to begin with?"

Rathus stood, pushing in his chair and nodding to the Innkeeper as he grabbed his hat from the back of his chair. He thought about her question for a moment before responding.

"Seven. Maybe eight, depending on how you define 'princess."

Ruth blinked at him, surprised for a moment before nodding. "I had expected you to say "zero", but I suppose that makes sense. You are an Imperial Knight after all."

She stood and pushed her chair in, leaving the rest of her breakfast untouched. She collected her handkerchief, folding it and tucking it into the small silk pouch hanging from her the belt of her dress, which today was a faint peach color with a simple cut. It completely lacked the frills, puffed shoulders, and embedded rhinestones that some of her other outfits sported, and in fact could even pass for something a commoner might wear to a festival. It was a similar end result to somebody wearing a tuxedo to buy groceries, but it was at least an improvement, especially since Rathus had convinced her to ditch the tiara.

"Well," she began, "if you're finished with your breakfast as well, then I suppose we should be on our way. Did you have any plans beyond our scheduled dinner date with Musashi?"

Rathus slung the chin-cord of his hat around his neck, resting the hat along his back rather than wear it indoors like some kind of lout. He cocked his head at the princess.

"That was a pretty fast turnaround," he observed.

The princess scoffed. "What, would it be your preference that I remain inconsolable for the next hour, tearing out my hair in shame?"

Rathus shook his head. "No... Just surprised, is all. Generally, when I see someone change moods that quickly, it involves a whole lot of booze. And fistfights. Though that second one's probably just on account of the company I keep."

Ruth spread her arms, indicating her 'all of her'. "Most people are not a p—" she glanced over to the bar, where the Innkeeper was busy industriously cleaning a glass. It was already clean, of course, but Innkeeper regulations required he spend at least 5 minutes every hour cleaning a mug with a rag.

"Are not... in my profession," she said carefully, eyeing the Innkeeper. "It requires a certain level of decorum. I... regret showing you such a graceless display."

Rathus shrugged. "As long as you're feeling better, I guess. Now... I've got a job to do, across the lake. If you're feeling like you want to come, then you should grab some things for trekking in the woods. If you'd rather not come, then I can talk to the guard about putting you someplace safe until I get back."

The princess's eyes lit up. "A job, you say? In the woods? Something like... a quest, perhaps?"

The Gun Knight shrugged, giving the princess a knowing glance as he headed towards the door.

"Well... I suppose you could call it something like that."

Ruth hurried after him as he left the Inn.

"So, what is the job? Are you off to slay a deadly beast? Waylay a group of bandits? Bring a fugitive to justice?"

The Gun Knight walked through the door of the Inn and stepped out into the morning sun. He adjusted his coat, the tail flapping out and catching the wind dramatically behind him. He looked over at the princess, who was eagerly awaiting his response, hand on the wood frame of the door.

"There's been an attempted murder," he explained, voice low and ominous. "A local baker recently fell ill, and signs point to it being intentional, a poisoning."

Ruth's eyes glimmered, and she spoke in a hush. "So... we need to investigate it?" she asked, automatically including herself in Rathus's business.

The Gun Knight shook his head. "Not this time. It wasn't much of a mystery. The baker's brother had been arguing with him, and the evidence suggests he snuck some poison into the baker's porridge."

"So..." Ruth whispered, changing tracks, "It's... a manhunt?"

The wind blew as Rathus smirked at her, putting his hat on and striking a heroic figure, stepping with one boot on the edge of a nearby crate. "No," he explained, "they've already caught him."

Ruth stared, transfixed, but also lost, as her brain tried to catch up. "Then...?"

The Gun Knight gazed into the distance, looking over the town as he hooked his thumbs behind his belt.

"The baker is deathly ill, and with the trains down, the local Alchemist is running low on stock to make a curative. They need me to collect some mushrooms from the nearby forest."

Ruth turned and began walking back into the Inn. "Never mind," she said, walking primly as she stewed in her disappointment.

"What's wrong?" Rathus called after her. "I thought you were eager to go out on a quest."

The princess whirled, staring incredulously at the Gun Knight. "Yes, a quest. This is hardly what I would call a quest, Rathus. This is... is not even appropriate for a low-ELO Adventurer, Rathus! It's just picking mushrooms in the woods! I didn't envision an Imperial Knight doing a job meant for an errand boy."

Rathus shrugged. "Well, somebody needs to do it. They weren't able to get ahold of the local woodsman, and the Guard..."

The pair glanced over at a townswoman, who was assailing an Imperial Soldier, chewing him out while she somehow lifted an entire enchanted washbasin, shouting at him to recharge the mana, personally. The soldier was retreating, at a loss for what to do, but could not escape from the maligned citizen's furious advance.

"...is a bit preoccupied," Rathus finished.

"I suppose," Ruth admitted, "But it still seems... beneath you somehow."

Rathus checked over his equipment, tightening his belt and checking the orientation of his various pouches: Ammunition, Curatives and support items, Miscellaneous tools, and Snacks. He looked up at her.

"Well... it's not glamorous, I'll give you that. In the grand scheme of things, you might rightly say it's pretty small. But there's a difference between big and important. A man's life is riding on this little errand. That's enough for me."

"Hm," Ruth replied. She gave a resigned sigh, the wind blowing her braided hair as she looked mournfully after the harried soldier.

"Very well," she relented, "I'll come with you. I may not know much about mushrooms, but I imagine you will at least benefit from a second pair of eyes. Even if I must be bored out of my mind, I would much rather help than be a burden."

Rathus tipped his hat to her, and hurried along, towards the stables kept alongside the End of the Line. Grue tossed his head as he saw the Knight approaching from the open door.

"Just so long as we're on time for our dinner tonight," she added.

*******

The Gun Knight and his ward rode along the eastward road, coursing around the edge of the lake, as the sun beamed down upon them. It was becoming late summer, and the season was entering its mid-life crisis, searing the landscape with the temperature equivalent of a new sportscar and a hair plugs. However, our heroes were protected from the inhospitable sun. Ruth, by a Law-infused parasol, and Rathus, by the overwhelming power of his new hat.

Nevertheless, it was not a comfortable ride, and both of them were glad when they broke into the forest, and were saved from the worst of the sun's luminous sucker-punches by the dappled shadow cast by the foliage overhead. They traveled for a time, until they came to a game trail where it intersected the road. A pair of squirrels, frightened at their approach, abandoned their playing cards and fled into the underbrush.

They continued for about a half hour along the winding trail, before coming to a small clearing which was bisected by a small, picturesque creek. Rathus brought Grue to a halt near the creek and dismounted, tying the horse's reins to a branch, close enough for him to take a drink. Ruth hopped down from the saddle after the Gun Knight, wobbling a bit as she landed.

"We'll start from here," Rathus announced. "We'll need to go through the thick of the woods, but if you follow behind me, you should be able to avoid the worst of the branches and tangles and such."

The Gun Knight reached over and pressed his thumb against a sigil on the horn of Grue's saddle. A shimmer of iridescence flowed out from the mark to cover the rest of the saddle, along with the reins and saddlebag. Rathus waited until he heard a faint pair of beeps emanate from the saddle, then he walked away with a single nod of his head. Ruth glanced curiously at the horse, then to Rathus, who was continuing to head towards the edge of the clearing, hugging the creek as it wound deeper into the woods. He turned back to her.

"Alarm script. Don't think I'll run into any burglars this far into the woods, but better safe than sorry."

Ruth glanced once more at Grue, who gave her a smug look of superiority at his enchanted gear, then turned to follow the Gun Knight. into the thicket.

"So, what do these mushrooms of ours look like?" Ruth asked, voice shaking a bit as she jogged to catch up.

The Gun Knight unhooked his knife from his belt and started cutting his way through the underbrush. He made short work of the myriad reaching branches and brambles, chopping away vines with a slash, and snapping the larger branches with his bare hands. He turned back to the Princess.

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"Well, the alchemist said it grows near creeks and other water sources. Bright blue, white spots, with a smooth, round cap. Grows on wood."

Ruth nodded, and followed along as Rathus poked his way through the woods. They traveled for a while, hugging the creek as they went, The forest was peaceful, and the birds flitting through the sunlight, the quiet trickle of the creek, the gentle blooming of flowers made for a picturesque scene, to be sure. Rathus felt like he'd walked directly into a greeting card.

But even the most stern appreciation for scenic beauty didn't change the fact that they'd found no sign of any mushrooms meeting the description. Eventually, they were forced to take a break, Ruth's admirable tenacity finally wearing out. She sat atop a large rock, taking off the riding boots she'd changed into earlier, to rub at her ankles.

"Rathus... How uncommon are these mushrooms meant to be? Don't you find it odd that we haven't seen a single one, yet?"

Rathus sat on a stump, reaching into his snack pouch to pull out a small roll, which he'd bought from the grocer earlier in the day.

"Didn't sound all too rare from the way he said it," he remarked, cutting the roll in half after washing his knife clean. "To be honest, I figured we woulda found some by now. Guess it's either more rare than I thought, or other folks have picked the woods clean."

He gestured towards Ruth with an underhand motion before tossing the roll towards her. She followed its arc as he tossed it high over a small shrub, reaching out to catch it. Her eyes stopped suddenly, and the roll missed her hands, landing in her lap.

"Almost," Rathus chuckled, biting into his own half. The princess ignored the roll, her eyes still fixing into the canopy.

"When you said it 'grows on wood'..." she started, "do you imagine they are referring to that?" She pointed high, to a small patch of blue clustered in the nook of one of the branches far overhead.

Rathus followed her gaze to the patch of mushrooms growing high above them. "Hm. Yeah, that'd probably be it." He stared up at the mushrooms.

"Well, that's a bit of a pickle. Feel like he should have mentioned that."

He scratched his head, scrutinizing the layout of the branches above him. "Shooting it down probably ain't the best idea. The branch they're on is pretty thick, and it'd probably tear down a bunch of other branches as it fell."

"You could try jumping?" Ruth suggested. Rathus looked up at the mushrooms, then gaped at her.

"They're like thirty feet in the air, yer highness. You think I can jump that high?"

Ruth shrugged, wiping crumbs from her mouth. She finished her bite of bread and tucked the rest into her bag. "Well, you are a Gun Knight." she replied.

Rathus shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous. Thirty feet?" He placed his hands on his hips, staring upwards. "I can only jump about ten feet up, twenty feet max."

The pair looked up at the mushrooms in silence, Rathus glancing at the nearby trees to see if any looked particularly climbable. Unfortunately, most of them were pretty vertical, and while he was confident in his scaling abilities, he wasn't sure whether the boughs would hold his weight. There'd be no point in climbing the tree if he just knocked the branches down anyways, and crushed the mush.

Maybe if he used his speargun...

"Ah!" Ruth suddenly exclaimed, "Just pull off that one move from when you and your team were fighting the golem!"

Rathus looked at her, frowning. " 'That one move'?"

The princess nodded emphatically, gesturing to him. Rathus decided to elaborate.

"There was a lot that happened in that fight. You'll need to narrow it down a bit more than that." He looked at the gesture the princess was making, a sort of lifting, or underhand throwing gesture. "Are you asking me to... to throw a tree at them?"

The princess sighed, lifting one hand to her brow as she shook her head. The Gun Knight crossed his arms, waiting patiently — if not a bit irritably — for the princess to explain herself. After a brief moment, she spread her arms with a flourish, indicating her all of her.

"No, Rathus, I'm suggesting that you throw a me at them."

Recognition dawned in Rathus, as he recognized the movement she had been making. "Ah, I get it. You meant when I vaulted Musashi into the air."

Ruth nodded, smiling in a self-satisfied manner. "You can toss me up to the branch, then I can pick the mushrooms."

Rathus frowned. "Seems a little dangerous."

"Only if you don't catch me," she replied. "But I have faith in your ability, and in your sense of duty."

He stared up at the mushrooms. "Well... I was thinking of just shooting a harpoon up—"

"And then what? Regardless of whether you use a harpoon or you climb the tree itself, doubtless the branch will still not hold your weight. You're not likely to shake a mushroom off a tree, either."

Rathus scratched the side of his head, as Ruth looked up at the mushrooms, bouncing slightly on her heels.

"You're pretty eager to get thrown, huh?" he asked.

The princess colored, looking over at him and scowling. "Wha—? No, Rathus. I'm not looking forward to soaring through the air or anything childish like that, I simply think it's the... the most efficient way for us to get the mushrooms down."

Rathus shrugged. "I ain't judgin'." He crouched down, holding his hand palm-up, at about Ruth's ankle height. "Besides, there's nothing childish about dreaming of flying. It's just a part of the human condition, I reckon."

Ruth stared down at his hand, suddenly nervous. She stepped one foot onto it, bracing on his shoulder, before lifting her other foot from the ground.

Rathus nodded. "I'm gonna throw you once, just a few feet, to get a feel for your weight."

"Very well," Ruth replied. "Tell me WHEEEEN?!" Her request turned into a screech as Rathus lifted her, tossing her straight up, like a javelin. She rotated in the air as she lifted a few feet, then started to flail a bit as she fell. The Gun Knight reached out, catching her with both arms, before setting her on the ground. She whirled on him instantly.

"Rathus!" she shouted, "I told you to warn me, did I not?" She stood rigid, with her hands balled into fists, held straight down to her sides. She leaned towards the Gun Knight, eyes blazing, while he tried to suppress a grin.

"Dunno, must have missed that," he said nonchalantly, although his eyes glinted with a mischievous glee. "But I think I got a handle on it now. You still want me to throw you?"

The princess glared at him, hands on her hip as she tried to focus her displeasure into a killing beam. He met the attack head-on, simply leaning over to get into position again, and looking at her expectantly. The princess scowled, but relented with a sigh.

"So be it. I ought to simply leave you to stare empty-handed, but I'll be the responsible one, and lend my aid, for as little as you deserve it."

"I am awed and humbled by your charity, yer highness." Rathus smirked. The Princess steadied herself on his shoulder, stepping onto his hand once more.

"But this time, you will wait until I signal my ready."

Rathus nodded. "Say when."

Ruth stared up at the mushrooms, fingers tightening on the shoulder of the Gun Knight's jacket. She took a deep breath, calming the hammering of her heart as she stared up at a clear spot on the branch above her. She nodded once, tensing her body.

"Go," she commanded, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, the Gun Knight began to move, and the force surged through her, as she was lifted up and heaved into the air. The wind whipped past her, fluttering her dress and causing her hair to billow behind her, as the branch swiftly approached.

She started to slow as gravity fought against her momentum, and for a panicked moment, wondered whether she would make it. As she slowed to a halt, she found herself pulling even with the branch, and she flung her arms out, seizing a knot on its surface, and scrabbling with her boots along its underside.

Rathus shifted below, staring up as the princess slowly pulled herself to the top of the branch. She panted, from exertion and suspense, before managing to calm herself and give the Gun Knight a shaky thumbs-up. Rathus returned the gesture, as the princess shimmied towards the crook with the mushrooms growing in it.

"Looking good!" Rathus called up. "If you feel like the branch is about to give, make sure to bail out in this direction. If you try to ride it down, it might crush your leg against another branch before it gets low enough for me to catch you.

"Oh, wonderful," Ruth warbled. "No pressure, then." She inched forward, then leaned out, reaching for one of the mushrooms. She hesitated, before drawing her hand back, and grabbing a spare handkerchief from her pouch. She unfolded it on the branch before her, before grabbing a second handkerchief from her pouch, and reaching out to grab the mushroom, using the cloth to prevent her hands from making direct contact.

Even medicinal mushrooms could have unfortunate effects if you weren't careful with them. She'd have to remember to either thoroughly wash these two handkerchiefs, or to discard them entirely. As a dutiful princess, she carried a month's supply of handkerchiefs at all times, in her bag of holding. You never knew when you might need to clean something off, or give a favor to a knight, or leave a hint for the intrepid heroes tracking down her theoretical kidnapper.

She picked the patch of mushrooms clean, stacking them neatly on the handkerchief before gently wrapping them and tying them into a bundle. She opened the drawstring on her pouch, carefully maneuvering the tied bundle to its mouth, which stretched wider as the extradimensional space within accepted the burden. Successfully deposited, she cinched her bag shut, and carefully shifted her legs until she was seated on the branch, both legs dangling out into the air.

"Alright," she said nervously. "Prepare yourself to catch me, Ser Rathus."

The Gun Knight nodded, holding out both arms as she scooted herself to the edge. The princess closed her eyes, counted to three, then pushed herself off the branch, into the air.

No sooner had she began her descent than she heard a sudden sound like a Klaxon (a particularly loud bird from the south) emanate from the woods in the direction they'd come from. Rathus spun to face the sound, as the ground rushed up at the princess.

"RATHUS!" she shrieked, clenching her eyes shut as the Gun Knight reached out behind himself with one arm to scoop her out of the air. He slung her over one shoulder, then hesitated visibly, and shifted her into a proper princess carry, before suddenly darting off into the woods.

"You... you... I thought you were going to let me drop!" She shouted, still jittering with adrenaline.

"I didn't," he replied simply, his face set in a grim expression as he ran through the woods.

"Y-yes, well..." She looked in the direction they were running, as the sound grew louder. "What is that noise?"

Rathus sped up, leaping over fallen logs and ducking below branches as he whirled through the underbrush.

"Some dead man has decided to try to rob me," he replied.

Grue snorted against his reins, rearing forward to kick one of the figures who had ambushed the horse. The blow sent the small figure spiraling through the air and into the creek, water splashing around its large head. Rathus leapt into the clearing, setting Ruth onto her feet with a twist of his body, and continuing the motion into a spin, drawing his gun to bring it to bear against his would-be thieves.

The thieves in questions froze as he came into view, turning to stare at him with large eyes, set into an oblong skull, with glowing red eyes, the color of fired brick. The robbers wore an assortment of loose tunics, cinched with a braided rope belt over a fur-lined pants, or in one case, a number of leather belts fashioned into a skirt. Two of them were on the ground, one stood on the shoulders of the other to reach into Rathus's saddlebags, which was necessary as each was only about three feet high.

One stood atop Grue's saddle, and stared at Rathus. He wore a hat over a crop of messy black hair. The others looked up to him, clearly marking him as the leader. He flicked one large, green ear at Rathus, slowly releasing his grip on the reins.

"Ah," Rathus noted, "Goblins." He fired his gun, killing the leader instantly with an expertly-placed headshot. The other goblins looked at him with sudden look of regret and panic, like a couple of teenagers smoking in the school bathroom who hear the sudden approach of principal's voice heading towards the door.

Ruth's expression quickly shifted from surprise to quiet horror as Rathus took aim.

"Rathus!" she shouted, "You can't just kill them! Even if they're thieves, you should at least TRY to apprehend them."

The Gun Knight shook his head. "Don't need to go that far. This is a better solution; they're Goblins."

The princess drew back, staring at him in disgust and horror. Rathus ignored her, carefully sighting and shooting the one wearing a skirt in the chest. The Goblin girl half-stumbled, looking down at the spreading patch of blood on her shirt before shooting him a disgusted, disappointed look and collapsing backwards.

"RATHUS!" Ruth shouted. "Just because a thief is a Goblin doesn't mean they don't have a right to live! Goblins are Human too, just like you and I."

The Gun Knight glanced at her. "Look, I'm not bloodthirsty. I don't kill thieves just to kill them. I'm shooting them BECAUSE they're Goblins."

With that, he aimed at the third Goblin, who was heading for the edge of the clearing. Ruth grabbed onto his arm, throwing off his aim as she hauled back on his wrist. He stared at her for a moment before pulling a gun from his holster with his free hand, firing and killing the fleeing Goblin instantly.

"NO KILLING GOBLINS!" she shouted, "You... you..."

Rathus stared at her in confusion, before something like comprehension began to dawn in his eyes.

"You... Hang on a second, don't tell me you haven't studied the Word? That should have been one of the first things they taught you. How do you not know about Goblins?"

Ruth stared at him, confused. "I... of course I've studied the Word. What on earth does that have to do with murder?"

Rathus glanced over, at the Goblin who was slowly lowering himself back into the creek, feigning death.

"It's easier to just show you." He walked over to the creek, standing such that his shadow fell over the fallen thief.

"Hey, get up."

The Goblin opened one eye, then, realizing the jig was up, drew himself to his knees. He waved to Rathus with a placating gesture.

"Och, fine. Ya caught me fair an' square. Dinnae shoot me." He nodded over to the horse, where the alarm was still ringing. "Right canny, that wailer."

Rathus nodded. "It does its job," He gestured with his gun, leading the Goblin out of the water, a few steps onto shore. The man proceeded without complaint, hands held into the air.

"Your Warren," Rathus asked, "Is it nearby?"

The Goblin narrowed his eyes at the Gun Knight.

"Whit ye' wantae know that fur? Fixin' tae shoot more us, aye?"

Rathus rolled his eyes, reaching with his free hand into his jacket, before pulling out his Badge of Office. The Goblin looked at it, eyes widening, before looking up at the Imperial Knight.

"Roight. Not far 'tall. Can be there an' back in a wee shake."

Rathus nodded to himself. "Sounds good to me. If you bring your friends back here, I'll give you something for your troubles."

The goblin cocked an eyebrow, looking at the gun being pointed at him.

"Nother bullet more as like, aye?"

The Gun Knight shook his head. "No. Assuming you come right back and apologize, I'll go on and pardon you."

The Goblin sighed, then nodded. "Awright, tis a deal."

Rathus smiled. "Glad to hear it. Hurry back, then." Then he shot the Goblin in the fucking head. Ruth jumped, staring at the Gun Knight as he calmly walked away from the corpse, reloading his gun.

"What... but why?!" she demanded. Her head was whirling, as she stared in shock after the Imperial Knight, who carefully stepped over a Goblin body to press his thumb against the horn of his saddle, deactivating the alarm Klaxon. He walked over and sat onto a nearby fallen log.

Rathus looked up at her, and started when he saw her horrified expression. He blinked with realization, and a guilty look stole over his features. He waved her over, shaking his head.

"Ah, hell, you look really shook up. I'm sorry. I didn't meant to scare you; I didn't realize how bad you were taking it."

The princess looked over at the fallen bodies of the Goblins, but cautiously approached Rathus.

"I... don't believe I'm the one you need to be apologizing to, Ser Knight."

Rathus waved his hand nonchalantly. "You mean the Goblins? No, they'll get over it. They shouldn't have tried robbing me."

The princess gestured towards the sprawled corpses. "I don't think they'll be getting over it any time soon, Rathus. Why... why are you being so nonchalant about this?"

Her horror slowly warped into a sort of uncanny confusion, as she looked from the carnage to the completely unaffected Gun Knight. He had adjusted his hat, and started rolling a cigarette.

"Goblins are one of the types of Human, like you pointed out," he said simply, "You remember what their Gift was, right?"

Ruth nodded, crossing her arms. "Of course. Their Gift was the Gift of Earth, the Gift of Sanctuary. It was..." she frowned, "I suppose... I didn't think it was quite so literal."

The Gun Knight flicked his lighter, lighting his cigarette and putting it in his mouth before snapping the lighter shut and tucking it into a pocket.

"The Gift of Earth, bestowed upon the Human that Mother Niddhursag was tasked with creating. The Gift of Sanctuary, and her love. The gift of... unbreakable life."

She glanced over at the body of the Goblin leader, which suddenly, and without warning, crumbled into loose earth and stone,leaving behind the clothes and effects in rough outline. She started, as the rest of the bodies crumbled to match it, in a rough delay corresponding to the gap between their deaths.

"I... I've never properly met a Goblin before, so I suppose I assumed it was more... figurative. Similar to the Dwarven Gift."

Rathus shook his head. "Well... the Dwarven Gift can be pretty literal too, if you see one when they get in their... ah... moods."

"Huh..." Ruth mused, quietly. She walked over and leaned against Grue, glancing down at the pile of earth that was once a corpse. The pair sat in silence for a bit as Ruth took in the situation, and Rathus finished his cigarette.

After a time, the Gun Knight stood, crushing the stub of the cigarette beneath his heel. There was a noise at the clearing on the opposite side of the creek, and he casually tucked his hands into his belt, right hand just a few inches from his Holdster.

The noise resolved itself into a group of four goblins, more or less identical to the ones who had robbed the Gun Knight, as far as Ruth could tell. They were wearing different clothes, which looked askew, either by design, or because they had been thrown on in a rush. The last Goblin that Rathus had killed stepped forward, gesturing to himself and to his comrades.

"Here we'ar," he announced. "Whit dae ye wan from us?"

The Gun Knight shifted, looking from one Goblin to another.

"You could start with an apology. Then an explanation, maybe."

The leader of the Goblins nodded towards their previous corpses, where their various clothes were now laid amidst piles of dirt. "Can we grab oor rags, aye?"

The Gun Knight waved nonchalantly to the side. "Go ahead."

The group spread out, going to fetch their things. The leader picked his hat up, batting off some loose dirt and fixing it back on his head. The Goblin woman lifted her tunic and stared at the bloodstain and bullet hole, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"Ye fecked ma fav'rite shirt, ya nonce."

"Yer oon damn fault fur wearin it," the shortest one replied, fetching his clothes from the far edge of the clearing where he had run.

The Goblin woman bit back with her own retort, and the two quickly fell into swearing back and forth at each other.

The leader walked over to Rathus, holding his previous outfit folded over his arm. He patted the last Goblin on the shoulder.

"No harm fae th' pokin around we hope, aye?"

Rathus sighed. He figured that was about as good as he was going to get in the way of an apology.

"You can't go around stealing from people. You're lucky I settled for killing you instead of arresting you, you know."

"Aye, that's sound," The leader nodded. "Ma name's Jackal. Whit ye cawit?"

"Rathus McGaff," the Gun Knight replied. "You do a lot of thievery around these parts, Jackal?"

"Nae, only a wee bit, n only tae folks what deserve it. Made a mistek, thought ye was one a th'loggers."

The two remaining Goblins hurried over, wrapping up their shouting match as they fell into line behind Jackal.

"Are ye fixin tae arrest them?" Jackal asked, "Violatin' oor accord, theys are."

Rathus cocked his head. "Who, the loggers?"

The female Goblin nodded. "Th'woods due east a'here belong th'clan fur a good twenty mile. There's a new logging camp th' longfolk've set up, n they've no right."

"Wha?" Ruth asked, quietly trying to parse the conversation. Rathus leaned to the side to address her.

"Sounds like a land dispute." He nodded to the assembled Goblins. "I'll look into it. As for all this, well... considering you didn't manage to actually steal anything, and seeing as I already killed you once, I'll call it square for now. But you can't go around robbing folks. Even if they do happen to be trespassers. I'll put in a complaint to the Guardhouse, and see about this logging operation."

"Aye, that'll do," Jackal nodded, and with a flick of his wrist the quartet started to hurry off before the Gun Knight could change his mind. Ruth stepped forward, calling out to them.

"Ah, wait a minute," she shouted. They turned to face her, and she threw a silver Lods coin to each of them. They seemed surprised, but not unpleasantly so, and looked up to her in confusion.

"For the ah, for your troubles of being killed," she explained, "and for coming back."

The Goblin that Rathus had killed last grinned a smile at her, mouth widening into an array of sharpened teeth. "Yer awrite, lassie. If yer payin silver a head, I'll let ye take another crack at it right well." He bowed his head, offering Ruth the opportunity to kill (and subsequently pay) him again.

"That... that's alright." Ruth said, face blanching. The Goblin shrugged as it stood, and the group hurried away, Jackal waving a salute over his shoulder as he vanished into the undergrowth.

Ruth stared after them, shaking her head.

"That was certainly... an experience." She managed. She turned to the Gun Knight as he walked to Grue to fix his saddlebags back into place and untie the reins.

"So, Goblins really ARE immortal?"

"Not immortal," Rathus corrected her. "They just don't die when they're killed. Most of the time. They can still die of old age, or sickness. Hunger, thirst, hot or cold. Drowning. Or if they die as a direct result of a Namer using one of the elemental Names against them, like fire, metal, you get the picture."

Ruth nodded slowly. "I always imagined it simply meant they were harder to kill. I never thought it was that direct." She raised one hand to her mouth, staring out after the Goblins, deep in thought. The Gun Knight watched with her, before recalling the entire reason they had come out in the first place.

"You've got the mushrooms?" he asked, breaking her out of her trance.

"Oh, right." She reached into her bag of holding, but paused before pulling out the bundle. "You know... I was able to successfully harvest the mushrooms, but something occurred to me, while I was high atop the branch." She looked up at Rathus, furrowing her brow.

"Exactly what sort of mushroom were you tasked with obtaining? I happened to notice that these were more of a pale blue than a bright blue, and something else about the description struck me as not being quite right."

Rathus scratched at his cheek. "They were called..." his eyes flickered as he Recalled the job, to be sure, "Blue Helmets. The alchemist said that they grow 'near a creek or river, where it's damp, and not too sunny'. He said we'd find it growing 'on wood'."

Ruth's eyes widened in recognition. "Of course! Blue Helmets! I thought that might have been the case. It's been gnawing at the back of my head since you first told me their description."

Rathus seemed genuinely surprised, leaning casually against Grue, who shifted, giving him a derisive glance. "You're familiar with it? I didn't have you pegged as a mycologist."

The princess gave a so-so gesture with her hand. "Just that species in particular. I thought it would be odd that the alchemist would say it 'grows on wood' if he meant it grew up in a tree. Wouldn't he directly say it grows on a tree if that were the case?" She moved over to the log Rathus had been sitting on previously.

"But when you mentioned the name, I knew for sure. Blue Helmets feature heavily in one of my books, so I happened to study them a bit. And I believe I know why we weren't able to find any."

She gestured downwards, to the old log, moldering peacefully alongside the creek. "They grow on the interior of dead tree hollows, and fallen logs. If you chop this open, I have a feeling we may find some."

The Gun Knight shrugged, and walked over to the log. He lifted it and casually tore it in half like a phonebook, dropping both halves so that the interior side was facing up. Sure enough, bright blue, almost luminescent mushrooms were growing in clusters along the hollow interior of the log.

"Well, I'll be," he mused. "I didn't expect to benefit from your reading habits. Where'd you learn that factoid? An adventure log or somethin' like that? Here I thought you only read books about Musashi."

The princess flushed a bit, fidgeting with her hair and giving Rathus a half-hearted scowl. "You impugn me, Rathus. I happen to be very well-read. But, ah... I did happen to learn that from one of my Musashi novels. Blue Helmets happen to be one of his favorite foods."

The Gun Knight looked doubtfully down at the mushrooms. This was news to him.

"Really?" He glanced over at the princess. "Given the ah, nature of the stories, are you sure it wasn't a, uh, euphemism?"

"Actual mushrooms, Rathus," she replied drily, "In a mushroom stew."

"Huh." He shrugged, gesturing down to the clusters of growth below. "Well, feel free to grab some extra. Maybe you can make him something as a gift."

Ruth's eyes lit up, as she began to carefully harvest the shrooms. "You know, Rathus," she commented, "you have some decent ideas, sometimes."

The Gun Knight crouched down to help gather the mushrooms, and soon they had a second bundle bound and wrapped tightly. Rathus took that one, to make sure they didn't mix the two bundles up.

"It's a good thing you came along," he admitted. "I've never bothered much with mushrooms, for th'most part. I read a guidebook on the mushrooms up north, but it doesn't really help a lot." He settled up on Grue's saddle, then helped the Princess up behind him.

"Even if you can remember the pages exactly as they're written, there's so many mushrooms that are damn near identical that it's pretty useless to try."

"I'm surprised you accepted the quest, in that case." Ruth replied. The Gun Knight shrugged.

"Well... somebody had to."

With that, Rathus guided Grue out of the clearing, and back towards civilization. They were leaving the edge of the forest, after an uneventful ride, when something suddenly struck the Gun Knight. An intense feeling of being watched. He slowed his horse, hand going to his Holdster as he turned to scan the treeline behind him. Suddenly, and without warning, nothing at all happened. No assailant sprang out at them, no sudden assault by bandits, or by some creature. Rathus peered into the woods, and though he couldn't say for certain, he thought he saw a large shape sink into the depths of the shadows.

"Something wrong?" Ruth asked, looking towards the forest.

The Gun Knight continued staring towards the forest silently, before shaking his head.

"No... just thought I felt something."

"Well," Ruth said, "If there's nothing else, we should hurry back to town. I still need to get prepared for dinner tonight."

Rathus nodded, putting the foreboding sense the forest had given him out of mind, and replacing it with a much stronger foreboding sense, of the events yet to come.

A formal dinner with Musashi.

A formal dinner with Musashi and the princess, who was a huge fan of his.

Rathus shuddered as he rode.

A formal dinner with Musashi and the princess who was a huge fan of his, in a bordello.

Somehow, he knew that the real fight had yet to begin.

The gunslinger and his ward rode into the sunset, westward, and towards destiny.