It was a fated reunion, the sort told of time and time again. Two brothers-in-arms meeting in peace, years after they had last seen one another. A picturesque cafe/bookstore at the edge of the civilized world. Sunset on a lake. The effect was only ruined slightly by the fact that neither one had drawn a gun on the other, and by the unconscious princess sprawled gracelessly beneath the table.

"Long time no see." Rathus said, tipping his hat.

Musashi nodded before shifted his bag on his shoulder, looking down in amusement at Ruth's prone form. "Likewise."

"I apologize for the state I've left your companion in," he continued, "I seem to have that effect on most women."

Rathus set his cup down on the table, and brushed his shirt off as he prepared to stand.

"Knocking them unconscious? I think there's laws against that sort of thing, Musashi."

The younger Gun knight rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Rathus. I can't help it if they are so overcome by my sheer presence that they faint from the shock. I am burdened with these excellent looks and astounding skills. That's just my curse, the cross-eyed bear that haunts me."

He glanced down at Ruth as Rathus stood up and walked over. "It could have been worse, though. When I meet a fan, they often either faint or they become—" Musashi bent down and gingerly lifted Ruth, tucking one arm under her knees, and the other around the small of her back, in the aptly-named 'princess carry'. "Manic," he finished.

Rathus stepped over, taking Ruth's pulse at the side of her neck.

Musashi gave the Gun Knight a level stare. "They go absolutely wild, Rathus. A picture of chaos, stampeding, teeth gnashing, dozens of voices screaming my name. It's complete madness. I love it."

Rathus ignored Musashi while he checked the princess's vitals. It didn't look like she'd hit anything in the fall, and her pulse seemed normal, normal pressure as well. She was just unconscious, not injured. Rathus stepped back and nodded to his comrade, gesturing to the chair where Ruth had been sitting previously.

Musashi set Ruth back in her seat, adjusting her by the shoulders so that she was safely balanced, before gently pushing the chair back in to the table.

"Don't ever become famous," he finished, before turning to give the Gun Knight a sly wink. "I don't want the competition."

"I'll uh, try not to." Rathus replied. He glanced at the pile of books Ruth had purchased. Musashi had a tendency to exaggerate, especially when it came his accomplishments and fame. Still... he considered Ruth and Nina's level of obsession, along with the fact that according to Ruth, there was a whole guild of like-minded individuals, some of whom were even more obsessed than she. He shuddered.

"Still, it is good to see you once more, my friend," Musashi walked over and clapped Rathus on the shoulder. "I wasn't expecting to find you so far from the heart of the Empire. Out on patrol?"

Rathus hesitated. "Something like that. Doing a bit of this and that."

Musashi nodded slowly. " 'A bit of this and that', you say?" He gave a knowing glance over to Ruth.

"Not like that," Rathus said quickly. "I'm just escorting her to her father's."

"Of course, of course," Musashi replied, nodding quickly. "But that doesn't mean love can't blossom along the way. After all, a love story between a princess and her attending Knight is a classic, is it not?"

The Knight-in-question's expression grew cold, as he looked to his friend. "You know I wouldn't. Besides..." He glanced uncomfortably at Ruth. "Even if I were interested, which I'm not, she's a bit too young for me. And I expect the lack of feeling's mutual, especially given how gaga she's been, talking about you all day."

Rathus hesitated. "Actually, I dunno if I should have told you that. She might not appreciate it."

Musashi chuckled. "I wouldn't worry too much, Rathus. The fainting was perhaps, a bit of a hint. Well, that only means that she has good taste, at least. There's little chance for you to compete."

The younger Gun Knight sighed, shaking his head. "Alas. Here I was, about to be proud of you for finding love anew. Perhaps next time, mmm?"

"That won't happen, Musashi," Rathus snapped, "You know why."

Musashi disengaged a step, holding his hands up, as he literally backed away from the subject.

"I see I've hit a nerve," he mused, rubbing his chin. "But the fault is my own; I was too hasty in the rare chance to be happy for you. Too presumptuous. I apologize."

Rathus relaxed, sagging back into his seat. "No. You were just bein' your usual self. I shouldn'ta been so touchy about it. It's just..." He shook his head.

"No sense in dwelling on it," Musashi replied. "We've kissed and made up, so to speak. Unless... you'd prefer something more literal?"

The Gun Knight batted his eyelashes at Rathus, giving him a 'come hither' expression. Rathus stared at him, trying and failing to keep a straight face. He chuckled as he pulled his coffee closer to him.

"Y'know, I think I'm gonna have to pass on that."

"Ah, my heart is broken," Musashi anguished, clutching his chest with one hand, the other resting fitfully upon his brow. He leaned back, the picture of drama that was far more melo than mellow. "How can I go on? To what end can I continue living?"

"Well, being a nuisance seems to be workin' well for you," Rathus bantsed, sipping his coffee.

Musashi's eyes opened, and the tension in his hands released, as he looked heavenward, in the throes of epiphany.

"Ah," he gasped, "Purpose finds me anew."

The Gun Knight immediately relaxed into a casual pose once more, dismissing his prior theatrics so quickly that it cast doubt upon whether they had ever really been there to begin with.

He gestured to Ruth. "So, how is it that you've come to travel with a princess, hmm? An escort? Perhaps a daring rescue?

Rathus put on a poker face, glancing casually around to check for people within earshot. "You know, I never actually said that she was a princess."

Musashi rolled his eyes. "You didn't have to. I can see her attempt at discretion, but there is no doubt in my mind that she's a princess. I can tell from some of the details of her appearance, and from seeing quite a few princesses in my time."

Rathus stared at Ruth, who was leaned forward onto the table, her hood askew. He sighed. "It's the tia—"

"The tiara, yes," Musashi confirmed.

Rathus reached out to pull Ruth's hood over her head. "I tried to talk her out of wearing it, but she told me her riding hood would cover it, and that it'd be necessary if she wanted to, quote, 'make a dramatic reveal of her identity'."

"Ahhh," Musashi smiled, rubbing his chin, "and she has a sense of class, as well."

Rathus wasn't sure that 'class' was the right word for that sort of thing, but enough people had been saying things like that lately he was starting to wonder if maybe he was the one with weird sensibilities.

"Anyhow, escorting her ain't my Quest, but I suppose I did rescue her, technically speaking. Her name's Ruth. One of King Greer's daughters. She was betrothed to the late Baron Durgen, and was summering at his estate. He decided the best place for her to summer was in the dungeons."

Musashi tsked in disapproval. "And they say romance is dead. I suppose you came charging in to rescue her from her harrowing plight?"

"No," Rathus corrected him, "I was there on uh... unrelated business. I was looking into some reports of banditry, and it turned out that the Baron was engaged in some pretty... aggressive tax collection schemes. In flagrant disregard of Imperial regulations."

Musashi nodded. It was a familiar story, especially as of late. Things had changed since the Skub Wars, and not for the better.

"I had been hearing a few nasty stories about the new Baron as well, and confirmed the rumors in a little village near Mount Durgen. The Headsman kept official writs, sent by the Baron's own hand. After I finished wrestling a cow, I went to the Baron's keep to..."

He hesitated, taking a long breath. "To formally lodge a complaint on behalf of the Empire."

Musashi set his bag down onto the ground and began to stretch nonchalantly. "Ah, would that be one of your famous 'formal complaints', then?"

Rathus flushed. "F-famous, huh? Well, it was, uh, about something like that, yeah. After that was over, it wound up being that I was only a few steps ahead of the Rebellion, who I reckon had a similar idea."

He looked over to Ruth, gesturing towards her. "I'm escorting her to her castle, now. Been a bit of a journey, though. Even ran into an assassin."

"Sounds fun," Musashi grinned.

Rathus considered that. He'd spent a lot of the time recounting one of his outings for the sake of the princess, but it had at least been an interesting few days. Frustrating, at times, and a lot noisier than his normal travels, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He'd been focused on getting Ruth home as quickly as possible, but when he really stopped to think about it...

"Well... I reckon you might be right," he admitted.

The two Gun Knights shared a moment of quiet, the quiet lull of waves lapping against a distant dock the only backdrop of noise. An old man in an apron walked up to the window of a nearby tailor, turning over a small wooden placard, from a sign reading 'Clothes' to one reading 'Closed'. He stepped outside and began sweeping the brick walkway outside his shop. Musashi rubbed at his chin, thinking.

"You know," he said finally, "I feel like you said something unusual in your little recounting."

"It was a fire-breathing cow," Rathus explained in a hurry. "It had been harassing the village. I don't just wrestle random cows."

"No, no," Musashi replied. "Not that." He pointed at Rathus, holding one finger out with his wrist cocked. "You said that escorting Ruth wasn't 'Your Quest.' "

Rathus's throat tightened up and his pulse began to quicken, like somebody with twenty tabs open to an embarrassing fetish when they hear a knock on their door.

"Oh. Uh, my mistake. I meant to say assignment."

Musashi held his position for a moment, studying the older Gun Knight, who had broken into a sweat.

"Of course," he said slowly. "Just a slip of the tongue."

Rathus nodded, and Musashi continued.

"It's just that... I had heard rumors, but I found them a little hard to believe. Are they true? Are you really Errant?"

Rathus winced. He'd been anticipating this might come up. He wasn't really sure how to handle it, but out of anybody, he felt like Musashi would take the news the most in stride. Honestly, that sort of made it worse.

"Well... I don't really care to get into it, but..." Rathus leaned back in his chair, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah. Been under uh..." Rathus held his hands up to make a set of air quotes, " 'Punitive action', as it said on the form."

Musashi's grin widened, and he paced a bit, scratching his chin as if he could hardly contain himself. When he spoke, he did so in a gleeful stage whisper, as if he were trying to shout quietly.

"Astounding. I can hardly believe that you, of all people, went Errant. It's too much, Rathus."

Rathus the Knight-Errant flushed, scowling at his comrade. It was a small consideration that Musashi would likely keep this secret. As much as he liked to toot his own horn, he never made a habit out of tooting the horns of others. Actually, Rathus reconsidered that, as people had apparently written whole books vis-a-vis Musashi and other peoples' horns. He didn't go around spreading rumors or badmouthing people, rather. Still, that didn't spare Rathus from his mocking in the here and now.

The Gun Knight crossed his arms, listening as Musashi laughed to himself.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Get it out of your system."

Musashi turned, shocked, and shook his head quickly. "No, no, no. You mistake me! I am not mocking you, my friend. I am celebrating! You were such a good little schoolboy, so rigid when it came to following the rules that I half-suspected you to have an emergency rifle stored up your own ass."

He chuckled a bit, sighing with approval. "Well, It's good to see you loosening up a bit. You must tell me all about it. What could you have possibly done to be sent off on some fool's quest? Did you go full rebel and knock over a trash can?"

Rathus shifted in his seat, and began stirring his coffee idly. He continued to do so as Musashi finished and stood expectantly. The Gun Knight furrowed his brow and set the spoon down, visibly wrestling with his thoughts, but not in a cool metaphorical way where a man in a bodysuit which says "regret" gets bodyslammed by a tag-team of "reasoning" and "acceptance". This was just the standard sort of thought-wrestling, a man sitting and thinking of the things he wished would have turned out another way.

"Don't really want to talk about it," Rathus said, simply.

Musashi opened his mouth to prod some more, then stopped, studying his friend's face. He seemed to recognize something in the expression, and gave a sage nod instead, spreading his arms in a classic shrug.

"It can't be helped," he replied.

The pair stood in silence again, but the darker sort, which grew more uncomfortable the longer it went on. Musashi squirmed a bit. He glanced around the few tables outside the cafe-slash-bookstore, before focusing his gaze on an empty table. He smiled widely, as if something had occurred to him.

"Do you mind... if I were to... grab a chair?" he asked, his voice taking on a strange cadence as he toyed with something on his wrist.

Rathus gave him an odd look. "Help yourself?"

"Good," Musashi replied, distracted. "In that case... I... will."

Rathus tilted his head, trying to make out what Musashi was doing. "Why th'hell are you talking like that? What are you up to?"

Musashi finished his task and looked up to Rathus, grinning. He lifted his left arm and pulled back his jacket sleeve, revealing a strange device wrapped around his wrist.

"This." He held his arm out to the side, pointing it loosely towards the table. As Rathus glanced over, a cable shot from the device, flying forwards and wrapping around the leg of one of the chairs seated around the distant table. With a quiet whir, the cable quickly began to retract, snapping taut and hurling the chair up into the air, where Musashi caught it one-handed.

Rathus startled and sat upright in his chair, slowly taking his hand from where it had immediately snapped to his gun. He stared at Musashi in a mixture of alarm and quiet awe.

"What in the hell was that?!" he demanded, lowering his voice from a shout as he glanced over in consideration of the unconscious princess.

"New toy," Musashi grinned. He set the chair on the ground, facing away from Rathus, then sat backwards in it, as if he were a stern schoolteacher about to teach a down-trodden student the importance of proper schooling, community, and trying your best.

"Just a little something from the Starshot Institute."

"Starshot Institute?" Rathus asked. He searched his memory, eyes flickering. He'd heard the name once or twice in passing, but had never been there, nor read any details about it.

Musashi leaned against the back of the chair, holding his arm up a bit to show off the toy in question.

"It's an Imperial lab. Best of the best, or so they say. I'd wager every lab says much the same, of course, but Starshot is a fine contender. Etymologists, Legislators, Alchemists. The whole basket of fruit."

Musashi held his left arm out, for Rathus to inspect the device. It was a wide leather cuff about the width of a hand, with a belt across its length to cinch it tight on the arm. A brass mechanism sat on top of the device, a round, squat protrusion shaped like an upturned bowl. There was a small dial atop it, and the tip of a metal dart poking ever-so-slightly from an opening in the direction of Musashi's hand. He carefully held it up, jingling a small length of chain, which trailed from the device to a ring worn on the Gun Knight's thumb.

"They call it the 'Rapid Ascent Tether'. A rather useful little device. As it was described to me:" The Gun Knight's eyes fluttered as he Recalled the exact words the Legislator had told him, even going so far as to change his voice, taking on a nasal tone that Rathus imagined (and rather hoped) was an exaggeration of the scientist.

"This will change the way we think about vertical traversal! You can scale a wall, a tree, or a cliff face in an instant! Imagine the utility it could bring to search-and-rescue operations. The demand for air support would plummet, freeing up those resources to be used elsewhere! You could use it in construction, or for making deliveries. Military applications? Yeah, some of those too I bet!"

"Sounds fancy," Rathus admitted.

"I thought so as well. They were very proud of it, and very, very incensed when I referred to it as a rat."

"A ra— Excuse me?"

Musashi chuckled, holding up the device for Rathus to inspect.

"Well 'Rapid Ascent Tether' is such a dry turn of phrase. If they didn't want me to call it that, they should have considered the acronym before settling on a name, don't you think?"

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Rathus shrugged. "I mean, sure, I get that. But even if the acronym works, why a rat? You don't gotta settle on an acronym just because. I would have called it something like... like a hookshot or something. Maybe a grappling hook."

Musashi rolled his eyes. "Grappling hook. Is grappling always your first answer? There's more to the world than Puroreso, you know."

"Mm," Rathus said, pointing with his pinky finger as he finished a sip of his coffee. "No, my first answer was 'hookshot'."

"Hookshot is even worse than grappling hook," Musashi declared, incorrectly.

"What's wrong with 'hookshot'?" Rathus demanded, crossing his arms.

Musashi waved him off. "It's so droll. A hook that you shoot. You lack imagination, my friend. Besides, look, it even looks a bit like a mouse, does it not?"

Rathus stared at it. He wouldn't really have come to that conclusion himself, but if it was pointed out to him, he could sort of see it. The chain came from the back end of the bell, sort of like a tail. And the tip of the dart poking out of the front could be considered a nose, maybe. It was a bit of a stretch to consider it rat-like, if not for the eyes and whiskers drawn on in ink, but Rathus really doubted that those were there when the device had been given to Musashi.

"Well... I guess a bit?"

Musashi chuckled. "You seem unconvinced." When Rathus shrugged, the younger Gun Knight continued on.

"Well, your objections find themselves in good company. The boys at the Institute cared even less for the name than you do. But they cheered up a fair bit once I got to testing it. They'd been so focused on fine-tuning it for climbing that they had barely even considered the more practical uses, if you can believe it. For example:"

Musashi flashed Rathus a cocky smile, and pointed his left arm behind him, aiming at his bag without breaking eye contact. He arched his eyebrow in classic 'hold my beer and watch this' fashion, then flicked his wrist. The tether fired off, missing the backpack by an inch to impact the ground just beyond. The metal prong hadn't embedded, and in fact had barely dented the ground, but it nevertheless suddenly became rigid, standing upright, as the Script within the device locked it into position relative to the point of impact.

Rathus glanced over at the target, then started to open his mouth to comment when the cord went taut, and Musashi was yanked bodily from the chair, a look of surprise briefly crossing his face. The Gun Knight was hauled towards the bag at startling speed, spun through the air by the force exerted on his arm. About halfway to the backpack, the dart released its hold on the ground, snapping back into the device and leaving Musashi hurtling towards his bag, a foot or two above the ground.

As the wind whipped past him, the Imperial Knight twisted in the air, sweeping one arm through the bag's strap as he soared past it, before hitting the ground in a roll. He slid to a crouch, using his stalled momentum to swing the backpack over his shoulder. His right hand whipped up to aim at Rathus, fingers in the shape of a gun. He brought his other hand up to brace it, and gave a cocky grin.

"Well? He asked, panting slightly. What did you think?"

Rathus took a sip of his coffee while the younger Gun Knight stood and dusted his legs off. After a short pause, he looked back up.

"You were trying to grab your bag, weren't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Rathus," Musashi scoffed. He walked back to his chair, picking it up from where it had fallen during his sudden journey. "I was performing an expert demonstration of the superior mobility options that the zipRAT offers."

Rathus nodded slowly. "zipRAT, now, huh? Because... it's a rat that zips?"

Musashi waved him off. "Don't you sass me now. If you can drop the matter of the name, you can see the potential, yes? Imagine flying around the battlefield at top speed, flinging yourself from place to place. Flinging others from place to place."

"Seems like you'd have to be in pretty good shape to not just eat shit the first time you use it," Rathus noted.

Musashi drummed his fingers on his knee, acknowledging Rathus's observation with a nod of his head. "Yes, that is true. Most soldiers likely could not survive an impact at such speeds, but you and I, we are different. Augmented. This sort of thing is exactly why we became Gun Knights."

Rathus chuckled. "Yeah, I think I recall that on the recruitment poster, actually," he replied sarcastically, holding up a hand to indicate a marquee. " 'Throw yourself around like a ragdoll.' That's what drew you in, huh?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Musashi exclaimed. "To embrace the edge of insanity, my friend. The speed, the exhilaration, the glorious rush that comes with the thrill of battle."

Rathus leaned back in his chair, tilting his hat to shade his eyes from the reddening last few rays of sunlight. "I dunno about all that. If you ask me, this is more my speed." He gestured out to the placid lake, and the quiet calm of the town as things wound down for the day.

"The satisfaction of a job well done. Knowing that people can go about their day without worrying about tomorrow. I guess, it might be a bit egotistical, but knowing that their peace is at least in part thanks to the things we've done. Y'know, protecting the people, that sort of thing."

Musashi turned to take in the town, watching as the old man finished sweeping the walkway outside his shop, scattering the pile of dirt in front of the door of a competing tailor shop, next door. The Gun Knight gestured flippantly, unimpressed by the provincial scene. He turned back to his old friend, and shook his head.

"Ah yes. Ever the stoic, Rathus. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me. I still remember your first day at boot camp, you know. Your little 'pronouncement', and all of that. You can pretend to be just some old fuddy-duddy all you'd like, but you and I both know what it really is that drives you."

Rathus looked away, uncomfortable. Musashi stared at him for a moment or two, before letting his eyes wander to the pile of books on the table. He glanced at the covers, chuckling to himself as he leaned over and sorted through them. Rathus shook his head, changing the subject back to their previous discussion.

"Anyways. About that hookshot."

"zipRAT."

"Whatever. Think I'd be able to get one of those?"

Musashi lifted the copy of Two Birds in the Hand, One Bird in the Bush, scrutinizing the cover, which featured a shirtless Musashi posing with two Quarrion women, a hand around each of the winged women's waists. The two Tielas each had an arm around his shoulder, green and blue pastel feathers framing some stock-asset forest scene behind them. The real Musashi shook his head, flipping open the book.

"Unfortunately, I don't think that's very likely. They haven't started production proper, this is just a prototype."

"Huh," Rathus nodded. He finished his cup of coffee, and pushed it to the side of the table. "Pretty nice of them to give that to you, then."

He glanced over at his friend, who had somehow produced a ballpoint pen, and was signing the inside cover of the book. He said nothing, pointedly not looking to Rathus as he set the book down and reached for another.

"They did give it to you, right?" Rathus asked, slowly realizing that he already knew the answer to that question.

Musashi signed the inside cover of the second book, before grabbing the copy of Reincarnated in Another World as Musashi's Girlfriend. He paused, looking down at it. "Huh. This is a new one."

"Musashi, they did give it to you, right?"

The Gun Knight ignored him, raising the book and showing Rathus the cover. "When they say 'another world', do you suppose they're talking about Dess, or is this some hypothetical third other world?" He looked at the cover and flipped it open. "These fan stories are becoming very high-concept."

"Musashi..."

Musashi turned to Rathus, setting the book aside. "I wouldn't worry about it, my friend. They weren't explicit in telling me not to take it, so it's fine. I'm sure they can whip up another prototype in no time."

Rathus stared at Musashi as the young Gun Knight picked the book back up and signed the inside cover to match the others. He wished that he could be shocked, or at least surprised, but somehow he wasn't. He'd held just a bit of hope that time had maybe made a responsible Knight out of Musashi, but that had just been dashed, like a child in a trading card game tournament who just realized their next opponent was a 40-year-old man with a custom playmat.

"Musashi..."

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

Rathus shook his head.

"It's worth worrying about! You can't just steal a prototype from a military lab. That's the sort of thing you could get Decommissioned for."

Musashi did a spit-take, doubling over with laughter.

"Decommissioned? Are you serious?"

Rathus opened his mouth to speak, but Musashi cut him off. "No, no, of course you are. Ever the dutiful little pupil, so afraid to break the rules you're a babe in the woods as soon as you step over to the side of rascals and crooks like me."

He smiled at Rathus, who was unimpressed. "Come now. Decommisioned? Do you really think this is the sort of thing they would hand out a death sentence for? This is nowhere near so serious an offense. The worst they'll do is just declare me Errant, again. Not even a problem. I might even enjoy it."

Rathus cocked his head to the side. "How... how many times have you been declared Errant now?"

Musashi leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head while he thought about it. "Oh, let's see... if I count that one, and the other, then... I'd say... about thirty-seven times."

"Thirty-seven?!" Rathus shouted, leaning forward. "Wha- how..."

The legendary Gun Knight shrugged. "It's a simple pattern, Rathus. I fail to follow some trifle of a guideline, or else otherwise distress my handler in some way, and then they send me out on some quest that's too expensive, too mundane, or too difficult for an Adventurer. I finish it —usually in record time— and then I'm back in the Empire's good graces. Rinse and repeat."

Rathus boggled. He'd known that Musashi had gone Errant a few times while they were working together, but it had only been a few years since he'd last seen him. The sheer scale of it...

Musashi continued on, nonchalantly.

"They've basically come to accept it as a matter of course. I work better solo anyways, and most of the Quests you get thrust upon you as a Knight-Errant are far more interesting than most patrol work."

A duck quacked as it flew overhead, breaking Rathus out of his trance. The Gun Knight blinked at his friend, shaking away his stunned expression.

"I mean... they can't just keep doing the same thing. After a certain point, they've got to know it won't work."

Musashi smirked, eyes twinkling mischeviously. "What do you mean by 'won't work'?"

Rathus frowned, blind in the face of Musashi's carefree aura. He struggled to articulate himself, finding it difficult to manage his previous conceptions with this shocking, chaotic career path set forth by the man before him.

"If they just... keep giving you Quests and you just do them and go back to breaking rules, then... well, I mean, it's just plain obvious that you ain't going to change your behavior. Why would they keep doing the same thing instead of, fer instance, jailing you or fining you, or something like that?"

Rathus was met with a wry chuckle, and a waggled finger as Musashi countered him.

" 'Change my behavior', you say. You assume that that's the result they hope for. But why, Rathus, would they wish to change my behavior?

"Probably on account of all the rules you keep ignoring," Rathus replied, deadpan.

Musashi sighed, shaking his head.

"Rathus, I'm not one to scatter flower petals at my own feet—"

"You've literally done that before," Rathus interjected. Musashi waved him off, continuing without breaking his stride.

"— more than once. But I DO happen to be the most famous Gun Knight in the world. Do you think that sort of thing happens by accident?"

"I think most everything you do happens by accident," the Gun Knight said, correctly. "You just make it look good while you do."

"Exactly," Musashi pointed out, snapping his fingers and pointing to Rathus.

"I don't bring up my overwhelming fame and talent to brag, my friend, I bring it up to make a point. And my point is this: how do you think I became the most famous Gun Knight in the world? Do you think I achieved this great feat by dutifully performing all the missions set before me, and keeping my nose clean?"

Musashi shook his head. "They don't tell stories about how we successfully supported our integrated unit and held the line at the Battle of Balgary, Rathus."

He lifted one of the books Ruth had purchased, holding it up to demonstrate his point to Rathus.

"They write books about things like THIS."

Rathus glanced from the cover to him. "About when you went to another world?"

Musashi glanced at the book, then set it down. "Not the best example, perhaps. No, Rathus, they tell stories about daring quests, dangerous missions, and the absolutely sterling way that I solve them. It's about charisma, about spectacle, my friend."

Musashi leaned in closer to Rathus, waving his hand as if gesturing to invisible fireworks. Or perhaps he was swatting away mosquitos, it was hard to tell and the motion was much the same. Probably the first one, Rathus guessed.

"Rescuing princesses. Hunting monsters. Single-handedly thwarting an entire bandit horde. Infiltrating the castle of an evil king. These are the sorts of stories they tell."

Rathus snorted. "Well, that's good for you, sure. But by that point you're basically just an Adventurer, aren't you? What incentive does the Empire have to go along with this scheme?"

Musashi fixed him with a level gaze, his eyes going cold.

"I am NOT an Adventurer, Rathus. Don't even make the comparison."

Rathus gave him a flippant gesture, as if to say 'alright, sure, go on then.'

Musashi went on, then. "You want to know what the Empire gets out of the arrangement, hm?"

He leaned in close to Rathus, lowering his voice to just above a whisper.

"Optics. I have several fan clubs centered around me. While there are a lot of fan-written books, there are many official stories written of my exploits. They have merchandising, Rathus. Merchandising."

Musashi sighed, looking a strange, wistful mix of happiness and world-weariness that came only to those burdened with terrible fame.

"I never asked for all of this, of course. I don't mind the fame by any account, but I don't care about profiting from it. But all the same, I am the darling of the Empire. The LEGENDARY GUN KNIGHT, MUSASHI."

"One of the vaunted Emperor's Own being a household name does wonders for them. Especially nowadays with, well..."

"Drover and his Rebellion," Rathus finished.

Musashi nodded. "So they simply declare me Errant, and I can go do the big, fancy jobs, or even the boring, menial jobs. I somehow find a way to bring glory out of even collecting 50 bear asses."

The Gun Knight glanced down at the cover of one of Ruth's books: The Huntsman's Wife's Boyfriend: A Musashi Tale.

"I think this might be about that Quest, actually."

Rathus shrugged. "I still don't see why you would need to bother with going Errant when they could just assign you the jobs directly, couldn't they?"

Musashi leaned back, composing himself, and thinking of how to frame what he wanted to say.

"Well, consider Adventurers. When you think of an Adventurer, what sort of unsavory qualities do you usually associate with them?

Rathus considered it. "Hm... well, they're greedy, dangerous, often ill-tempered or unpredictable..."

"Yes," Musashi nodded, a bit taken aback. "Those are all true, but not the one I am referring to. Go on."

"They tend to throw around their weight in gold, which can often wreak havoc on the economy of a small town. Every so often you'll get a group just wiping themselves out in a particularly gruesome way that somebody has to deal with. Little respect for belongings of others, a tendency to wipe out local fauna... poor hygiene."

"True," Musashi admitted. "They do tend to go around covered in the viscera of their enemies. But continue."

"Hmm," Rathus said, running out of options. "They're impatient, quick to anger, proud..."

"Yes, that one," Musashi said, seizing on it. "Adventurers are proud. Too proud to do the jobs that need to be done, if there isn't fame or a huge sum attached to it. But also too proud to tolerate being shoved aside."

Musashi counted on his fingers as he spoke. "Rescuing princesses, fighting dangerous monsters, collecting valuable lost Artifacts or rare ingredients. Those are all things dangerously close to Adventurer work. If the Empire monopolizes that sort of thing, they stand to make enemies of an entire population of extremely powerful, extremely unstable individuals."

"Well," Rathus said, shrugging, "We have the Adventurer's Registry for a reason. It's got all their information down there, so if they try to go up against the Empire, well... Isn't that what the Gun Knights were founded to handle?"

Musashi shook his head. "Yes, yes. Gun Knights are the go-to for anti-Adventurer agents, but above 2000 ELO and it becomes close to an even fight. Even some 1750 ELO adventurers might be able to give you a run for your money."

Rathus arched an eyebrow. "Me, personally? I feel like I should be offended."

"No, in general." Musashi replied, sighing with exasperation. "But we're getting off track. We can both agree that the last thing the Empire wants is a general uprising of Adventurers who think their jobs are under threat. But... even if we leave the jobs to them... many of them just won't ever be done."

Musashi raised his voice as he spoke, jabbing a finger out to the town at the town at large.

"The big jobs, the high-paying jobs, the easy jobs. Those ones will be gladly snatched up any Adventurer. And the rest of the important missions, the ones that aren't backed by a treasury, but are no less vital? The ones you can't just throw a platoon of guards at? Those still need to get done as well! Do you know how many requests are sent to the Adventurer's Registry in a day?"

Rathus shook his head.

"THOUSANDS," Musashi emphasized. "But the Empire can't officially handle them, without the spectre of replacement looming over the heads of the multitudinous unhinged. So they need plausible deniability. Hand the jobs out as a punishment."

Rathus scratched at his chin. "And you worked all this out with the Empire, to give you a special racket?"

Musashi leaned back in his chair. "No, Rathus. This is just the rationale for the Knight-Errant punishment in general. It's always been that way. I've just worked out a special racket with the Empire to make that the focus of what I do. Because I get the job done right."

He grinned a smile at his friend. "And I look damn good doing it."

Rathus sighed. "Well, I'm glad it's, as you say, mutually beneficial. But it still seems like it ain't much of a punishment for you."

Musashi stood, stretching casually.

"Well, Rathus. It so happens that they generally 'ain't' much of a crime to match. So I suppose that fits."

Rathus shrugged, as Musashi lifted his bag and strapped it on. The waiter came over and took Rathus's empty cup, along with Ruth's. The Gun Knight looked over at the sleeping princess.

"Huh. She's still out. Her vitals were normal, but uh, should we be worried?"

Musashi glanced over at her. "Well... it has only been a few minutes. Sometimes when my fans faint, they wake right back up. Other times, they'll apparently stay asleep for hours, until I'm already long gone."

"Hm." Rathus looked over, scratching his chin. "I don't have my full kit on-hand. Do you have any smelling salts on you?"

Musashi looked at him, aghast. "There's no harm in just letting her sleep, Rathus. I don't know if you've ever actually had to use smelling salts, but it's not a pleasant experience."

The older Gun Knight agreed, nodding his head as he considered the situation.

"Yeah, I guess, but... she is a big fan of yours. I'd hate for her to miss an opportunity to meet you."

Musashi laughed.

"Well, I will be in town for a day or two. How about we present her a proper opportunity. I'll treat the two of you to dinner tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?" Rathus asked.

"Well," Musashi replied, "I have a bit of business to attend to tonight. And besides, Rathus, she's Nobility. You don't want to rush her when it comes to preparing for a social event. They tend to take on such occasions with great seriousness. Practically life or death."

"Fair enough," Rathus replied. He stood up and collected Ruth's books, stowing them into her bag. "What time, and what place should we meet?"

Musashi grinned wolfishly at Rathus. "Let's meet at 7. As for where, I happen to know of a nice place a bit uptown, on the lakeside. It's called the Ocean's Motion."

Rathus stopped mid-stow. He half-turned to face his friend.

"Musashi, that's... isn't that a brothel?"

"It's a bordello, my friend. The furthest thing from a brothel." Musashi corrected him.

"Is there a difference between the two?" The Gun Knight asked, doubtfully.

Musashi placed his hands on his hips, fixing Rathus with a bright look.

"I'll forgive your ignorance in this, for now. Especially as this is no mere bordello. Madame Seiryoku used to be an Adventurer, you know. She traveled the length and breadth of the world, and eventually her travels took her to Sparda. Shining Sparda, greatest of the Dwarf-cities."

Musashi leaned in to Rathus, painting a canvas of words as he relayed the history of this classy fuck-palace to his friend.

"Within the towering metropolis, she ventured into one of the Dwarven Ultra-Bordellos, and had her entire worldview upended. After taking a shower, she reflected on the experience, and resolved to do her best to emulate the style, with her own business, created and honed in true Dwarven fashion. The finest food. The most luxurious atmosphere. An experience to rival the finest five-star restaurant, except you can fuck the people there."

Rathus stared at him. "I've personally seen you—"

"Without getting yelled at by the management," Musashi quickly appended.

Rathus sighed. "It definitely sounds like an... experience. I'll give you that much. But it don't sound like the sort of place to take a princess."

Musashi waved him off. "Please, Rathus, I know how to entertain the Nobility."

"That's part of what I'm worried about."

"I don't mean that," Musashi interjected. "I meant that I know how to play their social games. How to put them at ease, the sorts of things they like. A silver tongue, a flawless display of acumen to tickle the fancy of even the most stern Lord or Lady. With no additional tickling required."

"It's still a bordello," Rathus protested. He glanced over at Ruth, who was thankfully still asleep. Somehow, he felt like if she were awake, she'd be on Musashi's side, for all the wrong reasons.

"I assure you, Rathus. Madame Seiryoku is a professional. She knows how to properly segregate the public and private aspects of her business. You could bring your family to eat at the Ocean's Motion."

Rathus shifted Ruth's bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder and adjusting the length so it hung properly at his hip. Ruth would probably yell at him for that later.

"Really now?" he asked, giving Musashi a piercing expression of concentrated doubt.

"Let's say... yes," Musashi replied. "Look, I can give you my word that there won't be anything untoward, or overly salacious. You have to at least experience the food. Dwarven cuisine—"

"—is the best in the world, I'm aware." Rathus finished. He sighed, looking over at Ruth, then back at Musashi, who was giving him a plaintive gesture, gripping both hands together in mock humility.

The Gun Knight closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Fine," he said. "Tomorrow night, at the the Ocean's Motion. I can't believe I'm going along with this."

Musashi laughed. "Rathus, you never stood a chance, as soon as I hatched the plan. You've always been happy to go along with my schemes, as much as you might protest otherwise."

"Ugh," the Imperial Knight eloquently opined. He stepped over to Ruth and grabbed her, by one arm and one leg, hauling her over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. He started to walk towards the hotel, before turning back to say one last thing. He stopped when he saw Musashi's horrified face.

"...what?" he asked.

"Rathus, what in the name of the Law are you doing?"

The Gun Knight shrugged, shifting Ruth a bit as he did so. "She's not going to walk there on her own."

"Rathus, no. My god, no. That's not how you carry a princess. Not at all!" Musashi rushed over, holding his arms out.

"Here, let me. I'll carry her back to your lodgings, if you're going to treat her like a sack of potatoes."

Rathus obliged, letting Musashi carry Ruth in a classic, proper princess carry. He stared impassively as the younger knight shot him a reproachful glare.

"You have no tact, sometimes."

Rathus shifted the bag back into place, shrugging. "It's not that big a deal. That's how they taught us to carry an unconscious person in training."

Musashi sighed. "It's the principle of the matter, Rathus."

"Heh," Rathus grinned, then when Musashi gave him a questioning look, shook his head. "Nothing. Just reminded me of something." He led the way, with Musashi following along to carry the princess, who if she had not been unconscious, would likely have fainted outright at the thought.

************

Later that night, tucked into bed, Ruth suddenly awoke, with a shout.

"Musashi!" she cried, flushing instantly. She blinked in confusion, looking about her darkened room. A light suddenly flooded in, as Rathus kicked in the door, gun drawn.

"What's wrong?!" he demanded, scanning the room.

Ruth startled as he entered, then blinked some more, trying to straighten out her sleep-warped thoughts.

"Um," she said, rubbing at her eye. "Nothing, sorry. I guess I was just dreaming."

Rathus straightened up, holstering his gun. He looked around the room once more, suspiciously, before nodding to her. "Well, sorry about the intrusion. I guess let me know if you need anything." He turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. He had closed it to almost a crack when he suddenly paused and opened it about a handspan more.

"Ah, right, before I forget, we're having dinner tomorrow night with Musashi, so make sure you're well-rested, and all that."

Ruth nodded sleepily, laying back into bed and turning on her side, drawing up the covers to just below her nose.

"Okay..." she mumbled. Rathus closed the door fully, gently restoring the darkness of the room. The princess lay quietly for a few moments, then turned over.

"Wait, what?"

She sat up, and stared at the door in confusion.

"Huh?"