“Tenebrous Dance,” Jax said suddenly.

“H-wut?” I replyed, stupidly. Despite my best intentions, I had been finding it difficult to concentrate on the task of keeping watch as we walked. When Jax snapped me out of my stupor, I had been in the middle of a daydream about Tom & Jerry aggressively playing Franz Liszt’s ‘Hungarian Rhapsody no. 2’ on my throbbing toes. The part of ‘Jerry’ was currently being played by a smallish rock in my shoe I had picked up about ten minutes prior.

“The name o’ me new skill,” he said proudly. “Tenebrous Dance.”

“Sounds interesting,” I said, catching up to the conversation. “What does it do?”

“She let’s me use the shadows to me advantage. Ah c’n slip me blade through ‘em to confuse me opponent. Makes me attacks harder to block, ya see. And then ah c’n use ‘em to dodge into, as well,” he confided slyly. “Offense and defense,” he opened his arms wide. It seemed he had solved all of his problems.

“Sounds pretty good!” I said honestly, but then I had a thought. “Until you have to fight in the broad daylight.”

He looked at me askance, then scrunching his face up, he swore, “SHITE!”

I blinked, “You already picked it, didn’t you.”

“By the bleeding ulcer of a whore’s arse barnacle, of course I did.”

I slowly turned my head to him in amazement. “You bandits have really elevated swearing to a whole other level haven’t you.”

He did not deign to respond.

“Well… sometimes the best skills have downsides,” I said consolingly.

He scoffed, and then after a moment, he conceded, “Aye, maybe so.”

“Does it require you to use any particular kind of weapon?”

“Hmm? I… er… I did nay think ter ask et.” He mumbled to himself for a moment more as he went over his skill again, then, “She do nay say any such thing.”

I smiled, “Versatile then. And, anyway, all you have to do is make it to the next level, and then you can pick another.”

“Ah get a new skill every core layer?” he seemed surprised.

Hmm… She must not have covered that. Wait, core layer? I glanced at my character screen, and sure enough, it did say something about a core. Layer, level, whatever. Every game had to add its own flavor to things. “Yeah, that’s what She said when She described your class to me.” I was getting better about using his own terms, “Why?”

“Oh, from what I know, most classes only get a skill every other level, ya see? Commoner classes,” he glanced at me to see if I was following, “farmers and the like, only get ‘em every five. Is what I hear. This class ye give me must be sommat special.” A slow grin spread across his face.

About then, a spike of pain shot up my left shin as my leg seized up in the mother of all cramps. The last few days of walking, no sleep, and very little food meant my body was gathering up the pitchforks and torches to start storming the castle. Gasping, I clutched at my leg, “Jax, I’ve got to stop for a bit. We haven’t eaten all day. I’m tired, I’m thirsty, and I’ve got a rock in my shoe.”

Jax rolled his eyes grandly, “Aye, ya Nance. Fine.”

I had found a nearby slab of rock to sit on. My shoes had mysteriously launched themselves off of my feet the moment I sat down and landed unnoticed a few feet to my left. I was otherwise occupied with rubbing the cramp out of my leg. The simple act of not standing up anymore was sending waves of bliss up and down my spine.

“Here, lad,” I looked up. Jax was giving me a strange look, but then cleared his throat, “Er… uh… hand us one o’ them jars o’ meat ya got stowed.”

Nodding, I rifled through my bag until I found the jars and got out one each. Tossing one to him, I tucked into one myself. The dry yet weirdly greasy meat had an altogether foreign flavor. That combined with the strangely tart aftertaste meant that I was firmly on the fence as to its palatability. I smacked my tongue to work some moisture into my mouth.

“Ugh…“ I made a face. “What did you call this stuff again?”

“Pemmican,” Jax chuckled. “It do be something of an acquired taste, don’t it now?” Taking a large bite of his own he started happily chewing away but then he frowned, “Hrr… I think this one may have started to spoil.” I noticed he swallowed it anyway.

“What is it, though?” I asked, mildly nauseated.

Still chewing, he answered, “Oh, ya know… dried game. Mix ‘er with suet but rendered down to tallow, mind. And some bush berries,” he glanced at me, “for flavor ya see.” Frowning down at his half-eaten portion, he said, “Not sure what kind got mixed in ter this one.” He dug at his teeth with his tongue thoughtfully. “Acada berries, maybe?”

I knew what some of those words meant. Wasn’t tallow candle wax? Surely not. Pretending that I knew what he was on about, I probed, “Why would you do that to perfectly good meat, though?”

“Why so it don’t…” but then he glanced down at his own jar, “or it’s supposed ta keep ‘er from going bad on yer.” He sniffed at it, “Must be last year’s batch.” He took another bite.

Swallowing roughly, I asked, “Do you have any water?”

He brightened, “Aye! A ration ta help ‘er down!” So, saying, he tossed me one of the water skins.

Taking a big swig, I nearly choked when the flavor registered. Eyes watering, I said, “What is this? Grain alcohol?”

Jax howled from my expression, “Nay lad. ‘Tis water true.” Then he winked at me, “It just do have a drop mixed in.”

Blinking rapidly, I took another sip. In truth, now that I was expecting it, it wasn’t that strong. “Why do you need to put booze in the water?”

Sitting up straight, he replied, “Why to keep it pure! You’d get the runs if you drink out of a skin far long. Also, it do keep things from a growin’.” He gave the skin a significant shake. Then, he looked around, as if he had gotten away with something and whispered, “I may have added a drop more than I needed to. Strictly speaking, o’ course.”

“Of course,” I agreed. Not that I did.

“Uh… Jax?” he looked up, “Hypothetically speaking, if I had a skill point I hadn’t spent yet…”

“Oh noooo,” he moaned.

“And,” I continued, “and the spell I could get would benefit you in some way. What would you want me to have?”

He lowered his face to his hands and pulled his cheeks down. “Laaaaaad…” he almost sobbed. He heaved a great sigh as he thought about how to reply, but after a moment, his head snapped up, “Aye, ah’ve got it! Ye said yerself me skill was great until I ‘ad ter fight in the sun…”

Taking up his train of thought, I continued for him, “…so something to enhance shadows then. Or summon them.” I nodded thoughtfully, “Could work.”

“Settled then!” he clapped his hands together. “Nothin’ like the hair o’ the dog ta get yer thinkin’ on.”

I sniffed at the mouth of the skin accommodatingly. It wouldn’t be half bad with a twist of lime. And ice.

It took me a few minutes of poking around with my menus before I found a skill that was at least close to what I was looking for.

Fortunate Shadows

Darkness behaves favorably to the user and allies while spell is maintained. Effectiveness improves with skill level.

Accept?

If I were being honest, I would never have considered this skill for my first level load out if Jax didn’t have something that would directly benefit from it. Even then, I hated myself for picking it. I want a fireball, dammit!

“Fine. I’ll take it.” There was always next level. At least now, I had made the choice, and I could stop agonizing about it. I hoped that as we gained experience, these decisions would come easier.

As before, once the menu blinked away, I was again struck by the ghostly wind — a wind, I noticed, that Jax did not feel — and the trio of women once again began to whisper in my ear a litany of significance. Then, faintly, I felt a gossamer kiss on my cheek.

The knowledge that came to me then was quite unlike anything I had ever known before. It was a thing outside the limits of the human world: a spell. Magic. I knew, now, that if I were to utter a certain string of syllables in a certain order, syllables, I should mention, that I had no inkling as to the meaning of, certain parts of the fabric of reality would bend to my will. At least for a moment. It was a singular experience.

Jax was standing at this point, wiping grease on his trousers. “Get yer shoes on again, ya poof. We got a ways to go still.”

It was then we heard the voices.

We were currently hiding behind a bush just to the side of a little clearing. There were three… things… playing there. And by playing, I mean they were throwing rocks at each other. Not gently either. The things looked sort of like children, cruelly laughing and yelling at each other, but with green skin and heads that were way too big. Speaking of their head, it was extremely flat, top to bottom, with ears that sharply poked out to either side, maybe 6 to 8 inches. This formed something of a triangle with their nose which stuck out much the same. Their mouths were small but lined with sharp teeth. The rest of their bodies were all spindly knobs and elbows connected to a small pot belly and large flappy feet.

“Are those goblins?” I whispered.

Jax gave a quick negative jerk of his head, “Gobs. They’re a lesser cousin. We’s lucky they ain’t smell’t us yet.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

I had to agree with that, “What should we do?”

He sighed, “We’s gonna have to kill ‘em. They’ll get wind t’us afore long. Then their whole blinkin’ tribe’ll be on us.”

I looked at him incredulously, “Wouldn’t killing them do the same thing?”

“Nah,” he spit to the side. “We’ll be long gone afore they’re missed. Our trail cold.” That logic sounded more than a little suspect, but before I could call him out on it, he glanced at the broken spear I was clutching, “Can ye use that thing?”

“I took a semester of Tai Chi for P.E. credit once,” I delivered deadpan. He gave me a flat look. “That’s a no.”

He gave the spear a little shake and said simply, “Pointy end? Fleshy bits.”

I nodded. I could do that. Probably.

“Alright, here’s the plan, mate. I’s gonna sneak about the other side, see? Then, I’ll come runnin’ at ‘em. I figure one will fer sure make a run fer it.” He looked at me significantly. “That one is yours. He gets by ya? Well.”

I grimaced. No pressure. “What about your injury?”

He rubbed at it absently. “Hmm? Honestly, I ain’t remembered it.” Giving a shrug, he continued, “Must be okay, right?”

That was doubtful. I hadn’t even used stitches. Maybe the healing effect from the binding spell had been more powerful than I had thought. Just slow acting. Maybe that’s how healing worked here. Lots of regens. No insta-heals.

“That new spell o’ your’n,” he turned to me, “can ye cast et quiet?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I just have to say the words. It doesn’t matter how loud.”

“Good. Cast it on me now. Might help me get around, them not seein’.”

I took a breath. Theoretically, I knew how to do this. Say words, get effect. But the words were garbled nonsense. They were there in my head, but trying to spit them out again was something else entirely. It was like trying to read a tongue-twister in a foreign language aloud for the first time. On top of that, for some reason, each word felt like it was resisting me. Like there was an opposing will cramming the words back down my throat. Finally, I forced the last word out of my mouth, gasping for breath.

[Active Skill: Fortunate Shadows] has reached level 2!

I could feel the spell running somehow. Instinctively, I knew I could cancel it at any time, but it was a constant drain while I held it. It was like I was maintaining a light jog.

I looked over at Jax. It was kind of hard to tell exactly what the spell was doing. Not overtly. You could describe it like sitting next to someone wearing camouflage but made of the shadows of dancing leaves from the canopy above. “Go. I should be able to keep this up for a few minutes.”

Without a word, he turned and slunk away in a low crouch. Within moments, I had lost sight of him. Getting into position, I clutched my little broken spear nervously. What was I doing? I was an office worker, not some trained army ranger. I wasn’t mentally prepared for this. My hands started trembling uncontrollably. Great. Just what I need.

Struggling to keep calm, I held still. When Jax broke from the trees, I was hoping my skill would let me ambush the runner. If I could get the drop on it — him? I looked closer at the little naked things. Yep, definitely males. I could see their dinguses slapping against their knobby knees from here. I was impressed in a disgusted sort of way.

Suddenly, the three Gobs froze, their heads whipping around as they all stared, searching for something along the far tree line. Shit. Had they made Jax?

I suppose he must have figured they had. Within the span of a breath, he broke from the trees at a dead sprint. Hey, my spell works pretty good! I didn’t see him at all over there. The three Gobs, despite being on the alert, were still caught flatfooted. One of them managed a shaky toss with the stone he was holding, but it flew wide of Jax’s approaching form by several feet. Jax leapt into the air with his little half-spear and drove the the thing right into the skull of the closest of the little creatures. I winced.

The other two, seeing the fate of the third, gave a scream of rage and charged him. Jax looked up from the miraculously still living Gob at their approach and tried to wrench his spear loose but it was stuck fast. Giving it up, he leapt back and drew his dagger. The two child-like monsters swiped at him with their clawed hands, but Jax managed to keep his distance. Circling around, trying to keep them from surrounding him, he pressed his attack. Watching him strike out with his dagger was kind of disorienting. It was like watching a magician pulling cards out of thin air. One moment, you would be sure his dagger was in his left hand. Then suddenly it would be in his right, about to sink into flesh. Oh. Whoops. No, he dropped it. He was almost looking pretty cool there.

One of the Gobs took the opportunity to try a flying body tackle, but Jax rolled away at the last second, snatching his dagger back up as he went. The Gob sailed through the empty air and landed face first in the dirt. Jax was on him in a second, giving two quick thrusts to its neck.

“Ha ha! Did ya see that shite, ya little runt! I did ‘er on purpose!” he crowed to the one remaining. It decided that cowardice was the better part of valor and made a break for it. Unfortunately, he was aiming way too far to the right.

Shit. Breaking from cover, I tried to head it off before it could lose me in the trees. I immediately realized that running full out while holding a spell was completely out of the picture. It dropped before I had taken even two steps. Jax didn’t seem to notice.

“Get ‘em, mate! I’ll finish of this other’n,” he said, stalking over to the one trying to shamble away, a spear still stuck in its head.

Seeing me break from the trees, the little bastard adjusted its angle. It was at a dead run at this point. And he was quick.

Dammit! I’m not going to make it!

That was when the ‘beastie’ made its appearance. The thing looked like a featherless, wingless shoebill but about the size of a Kodiak bear. The thing launched itself from where it had been perched, latched about ten feet up a tree trunk, right at the fleeing Gob. He never even saw it. Neither of us saw it. It never even made a sound. The birdlike beast tackled the Gob by his head with its massive beak, the momentum taking him to the ground. The monster then punched the screaming Gob’s torso through with a wicked claw, pinning him to the ground. With a halting jerk, the beast ripped the Gob’s head clean off. It was like watching a stork eating a frog. Only a lot bigger. Tilting its head back to choke down its prize, it slowly turned its glare on me and hissed.

I, meanwhile, had come to a screeching halt, falling back on my duff as I gazed up at the horror show in front of me. My brain had no further instructions for me in that moment. I did not know what to do except sit there in frozen panic.

“Lad. Back… away… slowly…” Jax whisper shouted at me. He was cautiously approaching from the size, loudly rapping tree trunks with his spear haft. The monster turned from me to watch this new threat approaching, and still hissing, it started backing away, dragging the headless body along with its foot.

I scrambled back and went to stand behind Jax. “What the fuck was that?” I said in a loud whisper as we stared wide eyed at the thing slowly disappearing into the forest undergrowth.

Jax slowly shook his head, “By the Hand of Mercy’s sweet Bosom,” he swore softly, then added, “fook if I know.”

Looking around warily, as if something worse had just occurred to him, Jax backhanded me lightly in the chest. “Come on, mate. Best be leavin’.” So saying, he hustled over to the two corpses. Following after him, I noticed that he had taken a few scratches on his left arm, but otherwise he seemed unharmed.

“You did great back there, Jax!” I said, trying to get my nerves under control. “I thought you said you were an amateur.”

He smirked at me, “Pshaw. Any fool can take down a couple of Gobs, lad. You could’a done the same if’n ya had a decent weapon.” Lightly toeing one of the ones he had killed he continued, “It’s when they come at yer ten ta twenty at a time that they’s dangerous.”

Thinking he might be overestimating my ability, but not wanting to admit it, I decided to change the subject, “What now? Should we leave them here? Hide them in the bushes?”

He looked at me thoughtfully, “I no be sure, mind. But these critters should have a Gem o’ Power, though they’d be smaller’n the nuts off a gopher.”

I looked down at the two little naked things. I did not know what a ‘Gem of Power’ was, but I was pretty sure they did not have one. And I certainly was not going to search their ‘hiding places’. I shuddered.

“Uh… do you think they’d have stashed them somewhere?” I said, looking around hopefully.

He snorted, “Nay lad. From what I hear tell of, people with the right kind o’ classes should be able to convert the bodies, somehow.”

“The right kind?” Were there specialized classes for this kind of thing?

“Aya, ya know. Combat types. Thems who makes it their business ta rid these nasties from the world,” he elaborated.

“I suppose that would be us then. So what do we do? Ask the Lady?” I questioned.

He gave a shrug, “Let’s find out.” Taking a breath he said in a low murmur, “Lady Bline, do please, I pray thee, convert these here nasty little Gobs ter Gems o’ Power fer us, kindly.” Even when the man was polite he was crude. He listened to something I couldn’t hear for a moment, then giving me a fierce scowl, he grumped, “Aye, ah would.”

I was about to ask him what had gotten his panties in a twist when the two corpses gave a dim flash and vanished right before my eyes. In their place, two minuscule little green gems hovered in the air for a second before dropping to the ground. That was pretty cool.

“Looks like it worked. What do we do now?” I asked.

Jax had his arms crossed indignantly and simply stood there. I figured that his Lady had insulted him somehow, and judging from my own experience dealing with the menus I could understand. Shrugging, I bent to retrieve the little stones.

Jax inhaled sharply, “Wai—”.

Holding the gems in the palm of my hand, I determined that they were no bigger than grains of sand, though they had a nice and pleasant glow to them. Looking up, I saw that Jax had a pained expression on his face and was rubbing his bandage tenderly. “What’s the matter? Did your wound break open in the fight?” I asked, concerned.

He grit his teeth for a moment before gasping, “Sorry. Sorry about that.”

I took a step towards him, “No need to apologize. Should we check your bandages?”

He took a shuddering breath and then shook his head, “Nay. Nay, lad. I’s fine. Thank ye fer your concern fer me wretched.”

I barked out a laugh. “No need for that, either.”

Gesturing with the gems, I brought the subject back around, “So, you said we could sell these right? Gems of Power?”

He nodded, shaking off whatever had pained him, “Aye, we can at that, and there may be wisdom to it. On the other, we could add them to our own cores, we could.” Gesturing to my hand he continued, “Not much to ‘em, though.”

I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment before it clicked. Little green rocks that come from defeated monsters. Gems of Power. Add them to our cores. These are experience points. And there’s the option to sell them? To a gamer, the concept was like staring into the mouth of insanity. Like gleefully taking a swan dive into the fiery pit of Mount Doom.

“Yeah, we’re not selling them.” Nope. Nooooope. No no no no no no. Nuh-uh. Nope. No. Hey-ll, no! “How much did you say they were worth again?”

Jax considered, “Little rocks like them’ns? Oh, maybe a gold piece. Maybe two.”

I whistled. Dammit. We do need the money.

Heaving a sigh, I said, “You know what? These two were your kills anyway.” I held out the two stones to him. “Do what you think is best.”

Jax made to grab the gems, but then he suddenly froze. He stood staring at them for a long breath, seemingly arguing with himself. Finally, scowling, he asked, “Why do ye do this?”

“What? I told you...”

“Has She been talking to ye, lad?” he asked, changing the subject seemingly at random.

“She? Oh, Her. Uh… not since I cast that spell, I think. Why?” I was utterly confused by this line of questioning. “Wait, what has she been saying to you?”

He scoffed dismissively, “Oh, nothing lad, nothing. It’s just…” and then he reconsidered, “well, ter tell it true, she be sayin’… odd things. ‘Bout the binding, ye see.”

“Oh, that.” Thinking about it, I admitted, “Well, uh… She did say one or two things to me about it a while back, when we were picking skills. Something about our friendship improving.”

He looked at me skeptically, “Jus’ that?”

I shrugged, “Yeah, why? Do you not agree? I’ve thought we’ve been getting along fine.”

He looked at the ground, rubbing at his nose, “Nay nay. It’s just funny, is all.” He took a breath, “Ye know, when I were a wee one, she did talk ta me then. Afore… ya know.”

I nodded, going along with the deflection. It was quite clear something was bothering him, but he did not want to talk about it.

“It’s just… she don’t talk the same ta me as then.” He looked up to the sky, “Not as I remember, anyway.”

My eyebrows rose, “How does she talk to you now?”

He did not answer immediately, like he was considering how best to answer. Finally, not meeting my eyes, he said, “Mmm… sexy? Wanton?”

I had to laugh at that. “You sly dog. You haven’t been on the good side of your goddess a day!”

He frowned. He clearly was not all that happy about it.

I shrugged, “Maybe that’s just how she is? I mean, you said yourself you were a child back then. Maybe you just didn’t pick up on it?”

He shook his head, “But she don’t talk to ye that way, do she?”

“I told you before, she doesn’t talk to me at all. I have to read all of it,” I explained. “Honestly, I don’t understand why it’s different.”

“Probably,” he said slowly, “’cause I can nay.”

Of course not. Given his history? “I’m sorry, Jax. I didn’t mean…”

“Nay nay, lad.” Then he began to grin, “Ye truly can nay hear her voice?”

“No, like I said, it’s all written. In little boxes that hover in the air.”

“Such a shame, et is then.” He laughed, “Her voice is… provocative!”

To tell the truth, I was a little jealous. Listening to a sexy goddess tell you about skills sounded way better than reading menus. “Bah. You’ve just been out in the forest too long, you horndog!”

“Nay! She be a shameless lass, I tell it true!”

“Yeah, yeah…”