“’Stoe sucking fuckers!” Hess raged, “I can’t believe they took that as an invitation to shoot me in the Thrice-damned tit!”
I held my tongue, though it was difficult. I mean… of course, they would. In my view, she was lucky they only shot a hole in it. This could have been so much worse. And considering my track record with them so far, I was honestly surprised that she had not seen this coming.
So instead, I busied myself with getting a light regeneration going on the wound. It was small and seemed to have missed anything major, but I did not want to just leave it. There might have been some internal bleeding or other unseen damage.
“And to top it off, after all this time, all this begging, to give me… to give me a… Hah~” Hess’ tirade was cut off as my regen took effect. Biting her knuckle, she trembled for a moment.
Jax tutted, “That were just a little one, Hess. Don’t lose yer noggin over it.”
She took a moment to master herself before replying, “I’m not so used to it as you are.”
I frowned down at her, “Weren’t you supposed to be shutting me out?”
She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. “Impulse control is not a specialty of mine,” she returned with a bit of an unrepentant smirk. “Or hadn’t you noticed?”
Jax and I shared a look, but neither of us bothered to reply.
“Bah! Who cares?” she threw her hands up and got back to her feet. “What am I supposed to do with a ‘Snail-biting bound arrow? I don’t even have a bow!”
Summoning the aforementioned item to hand, she glared at it for a moment before hurling it at the now open chest like a dart. It quivered there for a moment before dissolving in an effect much like Jax’s axe. Considering it, I was reminded rather of Hank the Ranger’s bow in that old cartoon from the ‘80’s. Although this would be the reverse of it, the end result would be somewhat similar. Effectively, she would have unlimited ammunition. Once she got a bow, anyway. And any sort of inclination to use one.
“Who needs a bow when ye can throw like that?” Jax quipped, seemingly impressed.
Hess just crossed her arms sourly.
Clearing my throat, I gestured to the trunk, “Well… Let’s see what else we have acquired, shall we?”
Jax nodded, “Aye. Be nice if they at least replaced the clothes they ripped off our backs.
Hess just snorted, “At this rate, you’d be more likely to have them shoved…”
“Whoa ho ho…” I interrupted quickly, frantically waving my hands in the air. “Let’s not go giving anyone ideas. Again.”
“Right…” Hess scowled. Heaving a defeated sigh, she stalked back over to the chest and peered within. Reaching forward, she snatched something up and held them for us to see, “Anyone need a new set of boots?”
The footwear in question were constructed of rather finely wrought brown leather and appeared soft and supple. And other than the fact that they appeared sized for a Gobborn, they appeared otherwise unremarkable.
“I’d nay think even ye could wear them clod-hoppers, Hess,” Jax put in, “Lest yer tootsies is bigger than I gave ye credit.”
Hess turned to look at Jax, her lips pressed into a thin line, “Jax… I just got shot in the tit.”
She crossed her arms unrepentantly, smiling with amusement for a moment before finally relenting, “Fair… Fair. I do apologize.”
Nodding once, Hess explained, “They’ll resize to whatever foot wears them, most likely.”
“They’re magical?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t know what they might do other than that, but in a sense,” she replied. “Most things you’d find in a chest are to a certain extent.”
“Give them to Donum, then,” Jax said. “His feet are sore from the holes in his booties.”
Hess tossed me the boots without thinking about it any further, but I looked at Jax, “How did you know my feet were sore?”
She just winked at me.
“Other than that, we’ve got a couple handfuls of Dungeon Gold… and a Coin pouch,” Hess reported.
“Gold, eh? How much exactly?” Jax asked curiously, stepping forward.
“Don’t tell her,” I said, walking up to look myself. “Make her count it out herself.” At her curious glance, I explained, “We’re working on numbers.”
She tilted her head back and forth a few times before shrugging and handed the small pile to Jax who received it with a sigh.
“One… Two…”
“Silently, Jax,” I reminded her.
She frowned slightly before continuing, bobbing her head in time to her now unvoiced count.
The coins in question were pretty much as I had remembered the Silver we had found in size and shape. Slightly smaller than the length of my thumb and about twice a quarter’s width, but composed of gold, of course. “How much are those worth, anyway?” I asked out of curiosity.
Hess looked at me, perplexed, “They’re… worth a Dungeon Gold? It’s the standard measure.”
I frowned. Standard measure or not, I still needed something to compare it to in order to get a sense of it. “No, I mean… I just don’t have any idea what one of these could buy. How long could you stay in an inn off of one, for instance?” It was not the most exact way to go about estimating currency value, but it was working for me so far.
“An inn?” Hess repeated before rubbing at her face. “By Law… uh… like… What kind of inn are we talking? High class? Roadside? What?”
I frowned in thought, “Oh… Nothing too fancy. Maybe… good enough to have clean bedsheets and a meal?”
“That’s all?” she responded, scrunching her eyebrows together, “Then… I don’t know. Something like three… four months?”
Three or four months?! I swallowed, “I take it that the currency around Bradfirth is worth a bit less than standard, then?”
“That hole?” Hess scoffed. “Yes, I’d say so. They’re pretty well known for making light coins. And cutting them with inferior metals.”
“Sixteen,” Jax cut in, proudly holding them up for me.
“There’s fifteen, Jax,” I corrected immediately.
“What?” she looked stricken. “You didn’t even count them! How do you know that?”
“Count them again if you don’t believe me,” I replied, bemused. Turning back to Hess, I asked, “So if Dungeon Gold is the standard, why do local areas have their own currencies?”
She did not answer for a moment, only frowning at me curiously. Finally, instead of responding, she observed, “What kind of sheltered noble upbringing did you have to be able to count that fast and still not know that?”
Jax chuckled knowingly and cast me a sly look. Then her face fell, and she sighed, evidently having to start over again.
I just shook my head at her in amusement.
Thoughtfully reaching up to scratch at her now healed over chest wound, Hess considered us for a moment before deciding to explain, “It’s because they’re worth too much, generally. You couldn’t get most inns to take one of those, even broken, going off of your example. So, they slowly get whittled down, traded, and remelted. I mean… surely you used to have jewelry? Where do you think the gold came from?”
I blinked. That implied that all gold came from these coins. Or maybe it was just so rarely deposited in the ground that it was not generally known about. Either way, I was not sure how to go about phrasing that sort of question without revealing too much.
“I got fourteen this time?” Jax reported, mystified.
“It’s common for that to happen when you’re counting,” I explained quickly. “Don’t be discouraged.”
“How do ye know there’s fifteen, then?” she asked.
My line of questioning now effectively terminated, I turned my attention to her fully, “Because I don’t count. Here, let me show you.” Arranging the coins into three neat piles, I said, “This pile has five coins, right?”
Slowly counting them out, she nodded.
“Right. Five is about the most a person can pick out at a glance. Look at the next pile. Five, right?” A nod. “And this one?” Another nod. “So we have three piles of five. That’s fifteen. Every time.”
She stared at the coins for a long beat and then looked up at me, completely lost.
“Uh… Okay, let me put it this way. You know how many fingers you have on one hand, right?”
“Five,” she replied immediately, almost insulted.
“Uh huh… so then… this is three hands of coins…” I left it hanging there expectantly, but she just stared. Her ears were almost smoking. “Right. Uh… Well, one hand is five. And two is ten, right? You know that much.”
She nodded.
“So three hands would be ten and five again. Or fifteen.”
She stood up straight, comprehension dawning, “And four would be two tens?”
“Twenty,” I supplied smiling, “Now you’ve got it. Get used to thinking like that for a while. And then we’ll work on nines.”
Her proud smile vanished instantly, terrified at what I had just proposed.
“’Stits, Donum,” Hess chipped in. “Who needs to count by nines? Even I can’t do that.”
My mouth twisted a bit. I considered nines to be quite basic… “Maybe twos then?” Slowly, I nodded. I was getting ahead of myself. Elementary school had been a long time ago, after all. “Yes… I suppose twos would be easier.”
Jax cleared her throat nervously, “Whys I got to learn all that, anyhow? Ain’t countin’ good enough?”
“Counting is slow, and it’s easy to make mistakes,” I explained. But then, I cracked a smile and gave her a little wink, “Besides… Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll have to rub elbows with high society?”
Her eyes widened at that, and she nodded seriously before handing the coins over.
Glowering at the pile of coins I now evidently had been charged with, I immediately took note of their weight. There had to be something like one or two pounds of Gold in my hands. I certainly did not want that slapping against my balls.
Hess just chuckled at my expression. “Here. Use this,” she said, proffering the Coin pouch by the lip.
Glancing at it, I remarked, “It looks a little small.”
“Like I said,” she explained patiently, “Everything you find in a chest is at least a little magical. Try it.”
Curious to see what she was talking about, I began inserting the coins into the pouch. The opening was only just big enough to insert one or two at a time, rather like a piggy bank, so it took longer than I would have liked. However, when I was done, all of the coins had vanished within without deforming the bag at all.
“See?” she said, giving it a little demonstrative shake. It did not jingle in the slightest.
Tossing it to me, I instantly discovered that it was not any heavier than an ordinary, if ornate, leather pouch. “Oh… sweet!” It was like a little bag of holding! “Can you put anything you want into this? Any weight limits?”
She shook her head, “No limits. And as long as you can fit it into the mouth, then yes, anything you want.” But then she remembered something and quickly added, “It has to be something with a certain value to it, though. Like… you couldn’t just put a bunch of sand into it, for instance. Or water. I don’t know why that’s a thing, but it is.”
Because it’s an exploit, that’s why. If you could fit a lake into a pouch that fit at your waist, then that would be a monstrously deadly weapon in the hands of a clever adventurer. Of course, you would need a way to survive your own cleverness, but that was a separate issue. I had been a gamer for way too long not to know simple little things like that. And apparently, whoever was designing these items was wise enough to nip that in the bud.
As I began to transfer our sizable Gem collection into the little pouch, Hess added, “The other nice thing about these bags is that they are protected by Law. Not many cutpurses would risk lifting one off of you.”
“Be nice if they gave a bit o’ warning first,” Jax added sourly. “So as to tell the difference.”
“You’re saying a cutpurse couldn’t tell the difference between this and an ordinary pouch of leather jingling with coins?” Hess asked incredulously.
Jax sighed before explaining animatedly, “Ye don’t make eyes at a mark. That makes ye suspicious. And decorations can be faked.”
“Couldn’t you just… not steal?” Hess asked reasonably.
“Oh, sure. Just not steal. Like people get into that game because it be so glorious,” Jax rolled her eyes skyward and crossed her arms. “When ye got no other options, ye steal to eat. The Law don’t mean much to the hungry. And most purses ain’t protected by it, besides.”
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
“Well…” I cut in, “That’s all in the past. You don’t have to worry about that any more.” At least, I hoped so. “And, I suppose no system is perfect. Perhaps, one day the Law Maiden will take your complaints into consideration.” Although, why the Coin purse we had just found would be protected while regular ones where not was beyond me. Surely, the rule of Law should not care about such distinctions.
“I’ve never heard of the Maiden making changes to the Law,” Hess replied, “But I’m no scholar.” Heaving a sigh, she turned and gave the now empty chest a little disappointed kick, “I guess that’s that. Come on, daylight’s wasting.”
“At least ye got yer bound weapon out of it,” Jax said brightly.
“Seal your lip, Jax,” she grumped.
Somewhat further down the drainage area from the safe room, we found another ladder leading up. Hess instructed us to wait below while she scouted, and as she began her ascent, I took the time to try out my new boots. Now that my feet were relatively dry, and we were not standing in a giant puddle of water, I was eager to see how their magic worked.
Tossing my old ones aside, I wiggled my now freed toes gratefully. They had been the only things left from my old life, and I was discarding them like so much chaff. Of course, they were just a cheap pair I had picked up from Target one day, but they were comfortably worn and had modern rubber traction. So, I was a little sad to see them go, despite the literal gaping holes that had been pierced through them.
In comparison, the new ones… well, they were a little strange. Besides their enormous size, they did not have any laces or any other visible means of securing them to your foot, and the soles, apparently made of layered and hardened leather, still had some sort of surface to them, so they were not slick like the boots I was familiar with. Meanwhile, the inside was lined with some unidentifiable short and soft fur, and they looked comfortable enough, so I was not concerned with wearing them without socks. And that was a good thing, because what was left of mine were hanging on for dear life.
While I was sitting there examining them, Jax folded herself cross-legged at my feet and began massaging the sore spots. A shiver ran up my spine at the sensation and my eyes fluttered for a moment as relaxation overcame my body.
“Oh, Jax. That feels incredible,” I murmured.
“I know,” she said, smiling. “Yer pleasure be me own.”
“Really? Is this like lust or is there a different flavor to it?” I asked curiously.
“This be satisfaction and relief. Not lust,” she explained. “That be thick and rich. Powerful stuff. This… be more like… Hmm…” she paused to think about it, grinding a knuckle into a particularly difficult knot, “a nice cool drink, maybe? With some herbs in it for the scent?”
Thinking about it, her description reminded me of something like a mojito. And if that were the case, then I could see why she was suddenly inclined to hand out foot rubs. I would be, too! I loved a nice mojito.
“Uh… would you like me to return the favor?” I inquired, suddenly uncomfortable with the one-sided arrangement.
“Why?” she asked curiously. “Ye’d not get anything from it, and I can nay feed from meself.”
“Just… because it might feel nice to you?” I explained. Was that not obvious?
She frowned at me a bit before sighing, “Donum, this does feel nice to me. Wonderful even. And besides, me feet feel fine. As much as ye’ve cast yer reward to me, they should!” Smiling broadly at that, she continued, “If I want more o’ ye, I’ll ask. Don’t ye worry yer head.”
Reassured, I nodded and relaxed for a moment before clearing my throat, “Well… much as I would love to let you do that all day, I need to try these boots on.”
Nodding, she took them from me and gently slipped them, one at a time, onto my now bare feet. Because of their size, it felt rather like putting on nice and fuzzy buckets. That is, until the magic kicked in. As soon as my feet were settled, the boots snugly formed around my toes and up my ankles, rather like a vacuum seal. Honestly, it was a little disconcerting watching an inanimate object suddenly come to life, but when they were done, I felt almost like I was wearing a second skin around my feet. However, when I wiggled my toes, they seemed spacious and comfortable. They might have been the nicest pair of shoes I had ever owned.
“Walk about with them,” Jax suggested eagerly, climbing to her feet.
Accepting her proffered hand, I stood as well and walked a few paces back and forth experimentally. I had no complaints. They felt great.
“Yer not makin’ any sounds,” she observed after a moment. “When ye step, I mean.”
“Really? Maybe they have a stealth component,” I wondered aloud. Experimentally, I jumped up and down a few times, landing hard on my soles, but Jax shook her head.
“Nay. I hear that. Must be just when yer walkin’. Or they’re only muffled a little,” she clarified.
“Hmm…” Either way, a nice pair of shoes that helped me move a little more quietly were a welcome find. Combined with the Gold, which by my calculation, was enough for the three of us to live decently for about a year and a half, that chest had been quite a haul. And that was without even considering the arrow Hess had found, even if she was dubious of its value.
Pleased, I reached up to scratch Jax’s hair, incidentally brushing against one of her horns. At her gasp, I quickly pulled back, unsure, “I’m sorry!”
She quickly shook her head, reassuring me, “Nay, that feels divine!”
“Is it…” I swallowed, “How exactly does that feel?”
She took a breath and held it for a moment, unsure. “Mmmm… I can nay put words to it. Never had a feelin’ like it afore. But I like it. A lot.”
“Really?” I said, my curiosity intensifying, “It’s not… sexual or anything?”
“Nay, not at all,” she said quickly. Reaching up, she rubbed at the little nubs herself for a moment before frowning, “I nay feel a thing when I touch them.”
“How odd,” I muttered quietly. Then brightening, I said, “Hey, there’s something unique I could do for you. Maybe I could hand out horn rubs as a little thank you from time to time?”
Jax choked, and covering her mouth with her hand, she began tittering with laugher.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, unconsciously smiling with her.
“Nay, it’s just…” she snorted again, “Aye, ye can give me a horn rub any time ye want!”
For some reason, that made her laugh all the harder.
A few minutes later, Hess summoned us up the ladder, and we ascended to find that it led into a smallish shack on the outskirts of the village. The shack itself was little more than a room with a bench to sit on and a few broken tools scattered about. And other than the door leading out and a couple of glassless windows pointing inward toward the village, there was nothing else to it.
“Well?” Jax asked as soon as we had cleared the ladder.
Hess quickly motioned us to silence and gestured to look out the windows. From our vantage, the shack appeared to be positioned down a bit of an alleyway. Perhaps twenty paces down, the way opened out of the shadows into the sunlit street beyond. And there, every once in a while, I could make out some familiarly misshapen people walking about.
“Goblins,” Jax hissed.
I frowned, “I suppose it was too much to hope that a Goblin shaped Dungeon Mouth would not have any Goblins in it.”
Hess just shrugged, “The Dungeon does as it pleases. But there’s not just Goblins. I spotted at least two Gobborns out there.”
“Why didn’t we see any sign of this before?” I asked, frustrated. “The place looked abandoned when we scouted it at night. And there was that monster, right?”
“They must have been asleep,” Jax muttered. “And Goblins ain’t known for keepin’ up a place.”
“Not only that,” Hess added, “Remember, this isn’t a real town. It’s just a facade that the Dungeon has put into place. It can look any way it wants. And the monster was in the middle of the square, last I saw. Can’t see that from here.”
“Well… It shouldn’t be too bad, right?” I said hopefully. “Jax and I have taken out Goblins before. And I’ve seen you wade into them like it was nothing!”
Hess nodded, “Even with a make-shift club and half naked as I am, I should be able to take on quite a few of them without a problem. It just depends on how many there are. If they all come at me at once, it’ll be difficult. Plus, there’s those Gobborns. That’s what I’m worried about. I can take one or two, probably. Maybe even at the same time, but that’s iffy. But not while I’ve got a horde swamping me. And if there’s more to deal with…” She sighed, “If I had some armor and decent weapons, I think I could do it.”
I took a breath, thinking. Of course, it was not going to be so easy as just charging into the middle of town and laying waste. We needed a strategy here, and for that we needed some more information. “Hess, let me cast my stealth buff on you. It’ll make the shadows from those buildings out there move with you to a degree. Make you harder to spot. Then you can scout a bit.”
“And if I’m seen anyway?” she asked with an eyebrow cocked.
“Then… we’ll have to retreat, I guess,” I said. And, grinning a bit, I added, “They’ll have to come at us through the ladder we just came up. It’s a natural choke point.”
“Yer assumin’ this be the only way down,” Jax reminded me.
That was a fair point. “Could we scout that out beforehand?” I asked. “Hess, you have that divination spell, right?”
“It’s not that specific,” she informed us. “It only points to one thing at a time, and then it’s whatever is closest. I can’t add things like ‘besides this entrance here’.”
That sounded about right. Divination magic was always limited like that. Almost on purpose, I felt. I supposed that we could try and scout it out the manual way, but with the way storm drain was laid out, we were sure to miss something. And it would take hours to be thorough enough to be certain. “I suppose we could spend a few minutes scouting out the immediate area below us. If they can’t get at us within a few twists and turns, then we should be okay. Right?”
Hess and Jax shared a look and nodded to one another. “Leave it to us,” Jax said. “Ye stay here and keep watch. May be more rats below, and I’ll not have ye caught out.”
With that, they both scurried down the ladder.
I pulled a face. I did not particularly care for being left alone in this place. It was becoming something of a phobia. Except with less of the irrationality. Trying to remain calm, I poked my head just high enough above the edge of the window and silently watched the Goblins and the occasional Gobborn passing by down the alleyway.
None of them ever even bothered looking down the alley. By and large, they were dressed in simple rags or breeches, and some of them were carrying various oddments with them. Clubs, daggers, a few shortbows and the like. Occasionally, one would be carrying around hay or tools. One fellow was even wearing a hat.
I blinked. I had seen him before, I was sure. He had passed by a moment ago. And then a few moments later, there he was again. Looking closer this time, he had on a ratty tool belt with a carpenter’s hammer in hand. I frowned. Why would you have a tool belt and carry the hammer?
A few moments later, he was back, walking in the other direction. And still, he was carrying that hammer. Was he just walking in circles?
Slowly, a suspicion crept into my mind. I could not be sure, just yet, but if I was right…
Studiously, I began watching each of the passersby, taking special note of each of their features. What they were wearing, their weapons, which way they were walking and when. It was a difficult process. There were a lot of them, and my vantage was limited. Even so, I picked out a few likely suspects. There was one fellow, armed with a bow, who had a bit of a clipped ear. He would pass by the alley, and then after exactly ten seconds, he would go the other way. He would not return for something like a minute, but then ten seconds later, he would be back again. Each of them had little patterns like that.
I was right. I was sure of it. Their movements were scripted. It was just like a game!
Now, if only they had some limitations on how their attention worked, we would be in business. I did not think I would be so lucky as that, though. They had ears, after all. It was unlikely that they would just ignore a commotion even if they never did look down this particular path. Stealth would be key.
And… we had just found a pair of one-size-fits-all boots that just so happened to muffle footsteps.
How interesting.
“I can nay believe I let ye talk me into this,” Jax muttered, standing out in the open in the middle of the alleyway. Any of the Goblins walking past could easily see her, if they bothered to look, that is.
“Why not?” Hess whispered from the enhanced shadows, my buff camouflaging her. “You’re the one with the fancy new skill.”
“I only got the five Charisma, though, ye dafty,” she griped. “Even the Lady said I weren’t ready for such.”
“They’re just Goblins!” Hess cajoled her, reasonably. “They have notoriously poor standards.”
“That don’t make me feel better!” Jax growled.
“Quit griping and throw the rock,” Hess said impatiently. “And remember to pose like I taught you.”
“Aye, hen,” Jax breathed out.
Glancing at me, she hefted the rock in question. From my position, sitting cross-legged and barefoot in the recessed dimness provided by the shack, I held my hand for her to wait. That guy with the bow had just passed by, and I wanted to time this correctly. Steadily counting down from five, I let my hand fall, and she gently bowled the little stone out past the alley.
As it came to a rest, the Goblin in question paused, surprised at this new thing that had quite literally crossed its path. Tracing the line it had made in the dirt, it quickly laid eyes on Jax, who was doing her level best to stand in the awkward position she and Hess had worked out. Her legs were crossed at the knees with her hip cocked, and she had both hands behind her head with her chest thrust out, all while trying her utmost to look disinterested. It would have looked pretty good, too, if it were not for the fact that she seemed to be having trouble keeping her balance.
The Goblin stepped into the alleyway and paused there, indecisively. The thing looked genuinely confused by this apparition that had arisen before it. For a moment, it looked like it was going to go for its weapon or call out, but each time it moved, it would stall.
I smiled. Jax’s new skill was working as advertised. Apparently, while she and Hess had been scouting, the Lady had shown back up and delivered some specialty ‘lilim only’ ability. It was supposed to combine her best assets, namely Toughness and Charisma, to make her nigh indestructible. In certain circumstances, anyway. The way it was reported to work was to make enemies so ‘fascinated by her beauty’ that they were either stunned entirely, or at a minimum, just hesitant enough to harm her that her Toughness would handle the rest. Hess, of course, found this hilarious.
Obviously, not every enemy we faced would at all care about such things, and I was sure that there would be ways to resist it, given certain stats or skills. So it was not a perfect ability. That seemed to be a theme around here. In any case, the Goblin was showing every sign that it was affected just fine.
“Get him to come closer,” Hess whispered.
“What? How?” Jax whispered back out of the corner of her mouth.
“I don’t know! Flirt with him or something,” Hess suggested. “I’ve only got the one shot before he cries out, and Donum’s accuracy buff is brand new.”
We had deliberated about that one for a while. I had wanted to get an ability to improve our stealth further, but Hess was adamant. The boots were enough for our purposes, and while she could use them to sneak up on things, she only had a club. That was going to make a lot of noise, and thus to be used as a last resort. The only thing left was her new arrow, and while she could throw it like nobody’s business, actually hitting what she was aiming at was another thing entirely.
That’s where I came in.
Efficacy in the Gloom
Modifier for [Active Skill: Fortunate Shadows]. May be joined to the spell to add [Accuracy Bonus] to all attacks. Raises overall endurance cost to maintain.
Effectiveness and cost improve with skill level. May be cast independently by including first Word of base Skill.
I had specifically requested that it be a modifier type just like my last skill. That way, I could keep them both up at once. And while it was only supposed to be an add-on to Fortunate Shadows, I had a feeling that I could keep all three going at once, if I wanted to.
Which I did not.
From the way the thing was currently sitting on my shoulders, I would rather have a bus roll over my abdomen. Chebs, new spells sucked.
Jax shifted a bit, deliberating on how exactly she was supposed to ‘flirt’ with a Goblin. Finally, giving the thing a bit of a side-eye and a wink, she puckered her lips and blew a little kiss at it.
The thing stumbled forward a few steps, but it immediately paused again, hesitating still.
“It’s a Goblin, Jax, not some opulent Clan head,” Hess whispered in exasperation. “Slap your ass! Jiggle your tits at it!”
Jax growled in response, and startled, the Goblin stumbled back. Her lips froze where they were, and we all held our breaths, waiting for all hell to break loose. However, after a moment, the creature seemed to calm down again.
There were a tense few seconds after that where we all just stood there, unsure what to do next, until finally Hess had a new idea.
“He’s right behind you, you know. Watching you,” she breathed alluringly, “Seduce him.”
Jax furtively glanced back at me, and our eyes met. Giving her an encouraging smile, I lightly bobbed my head.
Smiling slightly in return, she sucked her bottom lip under her teeth and inhaled. As she slowly let the breath escape again, she allowed her hands to fall, gently tracing a path down her shoulders, over her breasts, and down her sides until they slipped between her thighs. At the contact, she hunched over and shuddered.
My grin widened at the display, impressed and perhaps a little proud. She had improved.
And that was more than enough for the feeble psyche of the Goblin. Eyes goggling almost out of its brain case, it rushed forward, nearly tripping over its own bow in its hurry to meet this fabled temptress. Tongue lolling and panting greedily, it stripped as it ran, ready for promised delights that it had only ever before imagined.
That is, until Hess’ arrow came out of no where, piercing its temple with enough force to rip its head clean off.
We all stood in shock for a moment, staring at the thing quivering against the wall. And as the arrow dissolved, it dropped to the ground, timed perfectly with the collapse of the rest of the body. There was a long beat before we could tear our eyes off of the now still corpse to look up at Hess.
She was just standing there awkwardly, and shrugged.
Smiling as one, we all murmured, “Head.”