There was no doubt about it, now. We could not be anywhere else but the Dungeon. Not unless those huge marquise shaped blue crystals occurred elsewhere in the world. This particular one was mounted into a short stone plinth that was just wider than the crystal and giving off a pleasant little glow.

Just behind the plinth, the grassy area came to an abrupt end at the tree line we had seen all the way back at the town. And though I say ‘tree line’, it was not what I would call a forest, though the trees easily topped fifty feet in height, at the very least. In fact, I would be hard pressed to explain how trees could even grow in a way like that. Each of them was so close together, they may as well have been the same plant. There was scarcely a gap wide enough to squeeze a single finger through as far as the eye could see in either direction. All except for one notable irregularity.

Just to the right of the crystal, the trees had deformed in such a way as to be impossible for a normal growth pattern, if ‘normal’ could be applied to anything around us. The trees were growing in the same spacing as before, one directly beside the next, but here they were severely bent, leaving a wide gap. They then recovered from this deformity, resuming their upward climb and then gradually came back together again at the top. As a result, there was perfect circular opening grown into the wall of trees at about twenty feet in diameter. Unfortunately, this opening was positively covered in spiderwebs. And it seemed to be breathing.

Jax spat to the side, “Bugger that.”

I agreed.

“Now now, boys,” Hess smirked. “Let’s see what it has to say for itself before we jump to any conclusions.” So saying, she swatted the both of us on the ass and sashayed up to the crystal. I jumped slightly in surprise. That being the first time a girl had ever done something like that to me, I did not really know how I should react, so I looked over at Jax for a clue. He was just grinning.

As for the crystal… it was… different.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Come one, come all!

The mighty hole awaits!

It’s big. It’s black! It devours all!

What dangers lurk?

What fabulous prizes await?

Step on inside and see!

If you daaaaaaaare…

I gave my head a small shake at the cheesy message. “Crystal not do poetry?” I said, confused. This one sounded more like a carnival barker or maybe a television advertisement for a monster truck rally.

Hess looked at me, “Is that what your last one did?” At my quick head bob, she smirked, “Cute. Yeah, they’re always a little different from area to area, but they’re rarely straightforward.”

“This’n seems pretty simple,” Jax said. “Go in. Get prizes. Probably die.”

Hess gave a blase nod, “Yes, so it would seem. But I think we may not have to. This part might be a side branch.”

“How do ye figure?” he asked.

“Because why say anything?” I answered. “No crystal anywhere. Just here.”

She smiled at my guess, “There’s that. I was more going off of the ‘if you daaaaaaare’ part.” She wiggled her fingers at us creepily as she said it. Dropping her hands back to her side, she went on, “But don’t assume there’s no more crystals to be found.”

“Hmm…” Jax mused. “If ye figurin’ that way, then mebbe there be sommat we need from yonder town? An’ the graveyard?”

She nodded before jerking her thumb at me, “Found him at the graveyeard. But there might be more there. I didn’t really bother to look over all of the headstones in detail. We were a little pressed for time, then. And I’m certain the town is important.”

We stood there silently for a minute after that, staring at the great hole and the web that covered it, slowly flapping in and out as the air pressure changed. Obviously, there was no way we were going in as we were.

“Think might are more places like here?” I asked, finally. “At tree line?”

She scratched at her jaw, just under her ear, “Who knows? It’s possible. Might be worth checking out. But not tonight.” Turning to Jax, she said, “Let’s put that axe of yours to use. See if you can chop down a couple of straight branches. We might could make me a club for now. Better than the ‘stoe sucking nothing I’ve got now.”

Jax nodded and then looked at me, “Ye want I should whittle ye a spear? Won’t be worth shite. Just a sharp stick, really, but it may do some good.”

If I were honest, I would much rather have another shield, but that was not going to happen any time soon. Still, I may as well at least have something, so I gave him the go ahead.

It turned out the wood here was surprisingly tough. Just getting through a branch the width of my wrist took Jax the better part of a quarter hour. On the plus side, in doing this, Jax discovered that his axe had not dulled in the slightest. We did not know if it was a permanent feature of the weapon, or if it was simply very difficult to damage, but at least we now knew a bit more about the thing.

After he had cut and scraped a club about the length of a person’s arm, he handed it to Sherr Hess. She gave a few experimental swings with it before setting it down and wiping her hands on her vest, “We need to harden this in a fire. It’s got too much sap in it.”

“That is wisdom?” I asked. “Fire is beacon.”

She grimaced, “Hard to say. Things in the Dungeon don’t behave like they do out in the world. Most of the time, fights here happen in ways that make sense. Like they’re supposed to happen that way. In a big field like this?” she shook her head, “I don’t know what to expect.”

She had said that the Dungeon would try to challenge her. Maybe changing things up like this was one of the ways it was trying to do it? Keep her on her toes?

Jax interrupted my thoughts to hand me his second project. It was a bit wider than my thumb and not exactly straight, and he had not bothered to scrape the bark off, having only modified the branch to hew a point onto it. Nevertheless, it was better than nothing, and I was comforted to have something that even resembled a weapon in hand.

“Come on,” Hess said. “Let’s head back to the graveyard. We’ll keep to the tree line, though. See if you can find any dead branches along the way. We’re going to have a heck of a time starting a fire with no flint.”

“I can do it,” Jax said. “Need some good and dry wood though.”

She smiled, “Good.” Leaving it at that, she turned and started walking, “I don’t suppose either of you know any songs?”

“Few drinkin’ songs,” Jax said.

“One or two,” I chimed in. “Not sing in Laoi’na. Too hard.”

She looked back at me and spread her hands, “Go ahead. Might get some entertainment out of it.”

I ran my tongue across my teeth in thought as I followed. There were only a few things that I actually knew the lyrics to. On a whim, a few years back, I had downloaded a few show tunes that I had fond memories of. Over time, on car trips and driving back and forth from college, I must have listened to them hundreds of times. They were now permanently etched into my brain, like it or not. Normally, though, I would have been embarrassed to death to actually sing one of them, as they would instantly label me as the gigantic dork that I am. But here…

Clearing my throat, I said, “Uh… this one about… uh… man who get lucky? Win big prize.” Starting slowly, I began to sing.

“I never thought my life could be

Anything but catastrophe

But suddenly I begin to see

A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I got a golden ticket

I've got a golden twinkle in my eye”

I started to clap lightly as the song picked up. Slowly, the two of them joined in.

“I never had a chance to shine

Never a happy song to sing

But suddenly half the world is mine

What an amazing thing

'Cause I got a golden ticket

I've got a golden sun up in the sky. Slippers, Charlie!”

Now, to be fair, I probably skipped over a few lyrics, and I definitely bobbled a line or two. And to be sure, I did not even attempt the dance routine, beyond the occasional swing of the hip or a jaunty jerk of an elbow. Miming out the antics of an old man getting out of bed and dancing was way too much, even if the current audience had never seen it before. Hess seemed to enjoy it though. She started skipping and twirling about gaily as I sang, like a little girl at a summer outing. Well… maybe more like Frankenstein’s monster frolicking through the tulips… no, that’s a bit unkind. Regardless, I could only smile at her exuberance. As the song wound down, I started wondering if this too provided some kind of fighting power for her. Hedonism was sort of a broad requirement, after all. The word just meant something like ‘the pursuit of pleasure’, so it was possible.

When I finished, she clapped happily, and I gave her an exaggerated bow. Looking behind me, I saw that Jax had been diligently gathering wood for our eventual fire as I sang. He had taken off his shirt and was using the tied sleeves as a strap to bundle the wood. He had managed a bit more than an armload by that point. When I caught his eye, I noticed that there was the faintest hint of moisture there. Stopping short, I waited for him to catch up.

Looking me over briefly, he only smiled, “I thought as much. You wouldn’ta done it on purpose.”

“Done what?” I asked. “What have I done now?”

Chuckling, he gave me a light punch to the shoulder, “Oh, come now. Ye just sang a song about a man gettin’ a new life. Findin’ happiness fer the first time? Ringin’ any bells? See any parallels here?”

I cocked an eyebrow. Technically, I had been singing about an old man getting to go on a factory tour to see how chocolate candy bars are made, but I could see how he might have made the mistake. Deciding to just go with it, I responded, “Are you really so happy? To be following me around all the time? I mean… you died earlier.”

He snorted, “Did I now? I seem pretty hale and hearty for a dead man.” So saying, he thumped himself on the chest.

“What was that like, by the way?” I asked. “To be dead?”

“Gettin’ me head staved in weren’t a barry braw, but after that?” he shrugged. “There weren’t nothing. The next thing I knew, I were standin’ there heavin’ me guts out in yon graveyard.”

“So… what? Where you in some kind of limbo? Or was it like you were asleep?”

“Nay,” he jerked his head, “It weren’t nothin’, like I said. I do nay know how long it were on yer end, but fer me, it might o’ been a snap o’ me fingers.” He paused then, and asked me curiously, “How do me head look, by the by? I ain’t got no dents in it do I?”

I choked a bit at the question. Of all the things to be worried about…

“What are you two hens clucking about back there? More music!” Hess called from ahead of us.

“We’s havin’ a private conversation, ye boot!” Jax growled out.

“Do you really have to antagonize her?” I asked in concern.

“Bah,” he spat, “Ye think I wouldn’t know when I’s gone too far? ‘Sides, ye let ‘er walk all over ye.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “Then again, she could easily kick the both of us into next week.”

“That be true enough,” he chuckled. “But see, that be why she tolerates me talkin’ shite to ‘er. She thinks it be ‘cute’ or some other bollocks. Like a puppy yippin’ at ‘er.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Thinking about it, she had been generally pretty affable this whole time, if a little demanding. Maybe that was just what you got when you were dealing with a hedonist. “Alright. I’ll try to loosen up around her. But warn me if you sense things taking a turn. I don’t have special empathy powers like you.”

He tilted his head and looked up at me, “Mate, ye have the emotional insight of a plank o’ wood.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad,” I protested. “I noticed you all choked up back here, didn’t I?”

He stopped to repackage his bundle with the few branches he had found since we had been talking. Hefting it again, he conceded my point, “Aye, I suppose even ye can learn to read a person given time. But… aye. I suppose I be… well, I dunno if ‘happy’ be the right word. But I feel like I got a new life now. A better one. With some potential to it, ye know?”

I sighed, “Well, I’m glad you’re optimistic. Maybe you’re used to it, but where I’m from, the most excitement a person can expect is to go see a race or some sports. This life and death business is crazy.” The closest I had ever come to certain demise was almost hitting a cow on a country road in the dead of night. And that had been years ago. Yet, within the last week, I had endured more intense adrenaline spikes than the entire rest of my life put together.

He chuckled, “Aye, that. Our life has been a bit interesting lately, ain’t it?”

“Mu-sic!” Hess called again, more insistently.

“Alright, ye thunderin’ weapon!” Jax yelled.

The song he launched into is probably best not repeated. I was not quite sure if I were interpreting it correctly, but to the best of my understanding, it involved a woman getting raped and then went on to describe her humorous exploits in getting revenge until her ultimate demise at the hands of an angry goose, and all set to a jaunty knee-slapping tune. I could not see how the goose worked into it, though. If it was anything like the old songs from Earth, it was probably a symbol for some noble house or clan that I lacked the cultural knowledge to understand. Whatever the case, Hess thought it was hilarious.

We continued that way for rest of the walk. I almost launched into Bohemian Rhapsody at one point, but I thought better of it. It just would not be the same without the backup chorus, and I did not want to do it the disservice. For whatever reason, despite the noise we were raising, we went unmolested the whole time. Maybe the Dungeon enjoyed the entertainment, too.

We set up camp quite a distance from the graveyard. Sherr Hess did not want to encourage any stray Zombies to investigate us. Jax got a fire going using a method I had once seen in survival shows but never up close and personal. He had gotten a rotted out branch that was mostly hollow and split it lengthwise, then using his axe, he had whittled a small notch into the side. After that, he got a short, straight twig and inserting it into the notch, he rubbed his hands together, twirling the twig as fast as he could as he leaned into it for pressure. It did not take long before a slight trail of smoke wafted out of it. Taking this in hand, he tapped the bit of smoking ash he had created into a prepared bundle of tinder. After that, it was only a matter of some careful nursing before we had a nice fire going. I decided not to clap this time, though I still was extremely impressed.

I was given the task of fire-hardening Hess’ club while she did a quick perimeter check. The process was pretty simple. It was rather like roasting a marshmallow but the patient way. Some people, I had found, liked to just shove the thing into the fire and call the blackened mess ‘done’ even though the center had not come anywhere close to being softened. Lunatics all!

In any case, once she had concluded that the spot was safe enough and collected her new club, the two of them decided to leave me there while they went to hunt Zombies. While I had my spear, Hess explained that they were not very effective weapons against Zombies even when they were well made. As it was, she claimed we were better off with me staying back. That way, she would have one fewer Mono to babysit. Her words. I protested this, naturally.

“Split party bad!” I exclaimed for the third time.

“Donum, we’ve been over this,” she sighed. Speaking slowly, she tried to logic me down, “We aren’t a ‘party’. It’s just me having to keep you two alive. Over there is a horde of Zombies. If even one of them gets past me, you could go down before I even noticed. It’ll be hard enough just keeping your summon alive.”

“I ain’t a bloody summon, ye knobwasher,” the ‘summon’ growled. “An’ me name be Jax!”

“Oh~,” she cocked a hip, “you want me to wash your knob, do you? Summon.” She lowered her eyelids and ran her tongue lightly along her lips.

Jax just snorted and started marching toward the graveyard.

Turning the flirtatiousness off as quickly as she had turned it on, she faced me again, “Look, if anything comes, just stay still. You’ve got that skill, right? And if that fails, yell bloody murder. We won’t be that far away.”

I really could not articulate how much of a bad idea I thought this was without sounding like a superstitious ninny. Years of table top experience told me that splitting the party was just asking the powers that be to start screwing with you. Now, if only I could just convince her of that.

Dejectedly, I plopped down next to the fire and idly started snapping dray branches down to size. Finding one that looked to be just about right in size and shape, I broke off a few offending twigs and swung it around to scratch at the small of my back. I was still filthy from being buried alive, and I had a wicked itch going back there that was driving me nuts. Going around shirtless for hours on end was not helping matters, either.

When had I even taken the thing off? And why would I have? I knew I had it back with the merchant caravan. Running a hand through my hair, I tried replaying the events of the last day or so through my head. So much had happened. There was that battle on the hill with the Gobs. Getting captured… The Zombie attack… No. No, I was shirtless then. Finally, it came to me. That’s right. It ripped off when I tumbled down that hill. To be honest, I had been quite lucky not to have been injured more severely than I had been. That was insane! Experimentally, I rolled my shoulder a few times. It had been dislocated pretty recently, after all. It was still rather tender, but seemed to be functioning normally.

Heaving a sigh, I leaned back and settled into the grass to look up at the stars. It was a nice and cloudless night with a light breeze drifting lazily through the meadow, so they were clearly visible in their multitude. There was no moon out tonight, I noted. Curiously, I tried searching for any of the constellations I was familiar with. Naturally, I failed completely. I frowned a bit at myself. What had I been expecting? I was pretty sure that you would not even see the same constellations from the southern hemisphere of Earth much less… here. I had been told what ‘here’ was called, had I not? Uh… Vrak… something? No… Vrekfren! That was it. Who had told me that, though?

I sighed in frustration. My memory had always worked in odd ways. I would remember things, sure, but often it would be non-chronological or important side details would get lost. Like when a thing had happened or who had told me what. And forget remembering what color shirt a person had been wearing at the time. But you want the lyrics to the Gummi Bears cartoon? Sure! No problem. I could still clearly hear that opening horn cadence perfectly.

Right about then, I started hearing faint sounds of combat coming from over by the graveyard. Worriedly, I looked over in that direction, but with the glow from the campfire, I could not make anything out. I just hoped that this worked and that they did not get injured too badly. If we were lucky, I would net more Life Energy than I had to spend to get them back to one hundred percent. If we were not… well. I decided not to think about that.

On the plus side, we would be getting quite a haul of Gems of Power. Honestly, this was quite a bit like getting power leveled by some twinked out veteran. If we did not have to sleep in between levels, we would probably already be level five or six by now — especially considering all of those Gobs we had killed in the hill battle. That was a shame. And what a weird way to do things. Who would think to make experience points a drop? That was not even close to being fair. The whole thing was just ripe for exploitation. Plus, if you did not manage to actually collect your Gems, then sucks to be you!

Really, we were lucky that Hess had decided that getting us a few levels… or no, I should use the correct terminology… core layers… Anyway, we were lucky she thought it was worth the time. I had to wonder what kind of prize she would be getting that made her feel it was worth her while. Then again, maybe she was just being nice. I could not know at this point. We really needed to make sure to offer a fair cut of the Gems. Even if she did not personally value them, she could still sell them, right?

My stomach growled. Yeah, yeah. I know. We’re working on it, okay?

It was then that I heard something. Faintly, almost like a far off jingle of wind chimes, I heard it — a strange thing, away in the distance. Then the wind died. Slowly sitting upright, I peered into the darkness warily. I could not tell where the sound had come from nor what had caused it. Holding as still as I could, I continued looking and listening. For how long, I could not say. I scarcely dared to breathe. Whatever it was, I did not hear it now.

Just as I was starting to relax, I heard it again. Or no. This was something different. It sounded like something had moved through the grass. My head jerked to follow the noise. It had only been there for just a moment, and then it had stopped. For a long while, there was nothing, and then I heard it move again. And stop. I sat there for a long time just staring off into the dark, my nerves slowly fraying.

“Baaaaaaah…”

The unexpectedly loud noise made me almost jump out of my skin, but then my brain connected with what I was hearing. I sighed. I was hardly a farm boy, but I could easily identify a sheep bleating when I heard one. I was just about to curse myself for a foolish git, jumping at nothing, when a sudden surge of Life Energy shot through me. I gasped loudly from the unexpected pulse of life and nourishment coursing through my veins. As the waves of it slowly died away, I realized what I had done, and clapped a hand over my mouth. Listening intently, I searched the darkness once more. There was nothing. The sound had stopped again. It felt as if all the world had paused to listen with me. Of all the times for Jax to actually succeed at that damned skill of his…

Slowly at first, my mind started racing as I considered the implications. What had I been thinking? Yes, it certainly sounded like a sheep, and yes, I was sitting in the middle of a field next to a deserted town. That all made perfect sense. Of course, it was only logical that there would be a sheep out here. But this was the Dungeon! I silently berated myself. Only a fool would dismiss something innocent like a field animal for something harmless in here.

The sound came again. Now, that I had a mental picture to go with it, it sounded exactly like an animal moving through a pasture. And it was getting closer. Crap… Had it heard me?

“Baaaaaa~~oooooonuuuum…”

…

…

…

Every. Single. Hair on my body, starting from the base of my spine, to the very whiskers of my patchy beard stood on end at the sound of that sheep’s call slowly morphing into the ethereal yet almost tender voice of a woman. Tension slowly gripped every muscle in my body to such a degree that I could have crushed an apple with my bare hands.

Oh… sweet Mercy. What fresh hell is this?

The sound of the creature moving through the grass slowly drifted off to my left. Then it stopped and headed to my right. Ever closer but never quite in a straight line. The swish of the grass as it moved was an inexorable rhythm that seemed to almost affect me physically. I felt as if I could only breath in time with it.

“Baaa~~oooonuuuum? Where aaaaare youuuuuu…” That ghostly, plaintive sound drifting through the night air was calling my name! Why was it calling my name?! My eyes were as wide as saucers as I desperately tried to catch sight of it. Anything would be better than that blasted darkness, but the light of the fire had blinded me. I was almost choking now from the fear. I could not breathe!

Another pulse of Energy shot through me. The shock of it caused the air that had been building in my lungs to explode out and around the hand still clasped over my mouth. Shaking now from the strange and awful chaos of my own terrible fear and the sheer joy of the pulsing echoes of Life Energy reverberating within me, I silently cursed Jax and Hess with every epithet I could summon. I needed to be still, damn it all!

“I know you’re heeeeere, Donum…” that horrid whispered voice called. The slow steps moving through the grass again turned toward me. “The offering was made. I will have youuu~aaaah.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck… The sound of that bleat mixing in was making it so much worse. What was it talking about, though? Offering?

Just then, a single foot appeared in the firelight. It looked like a hoof but divided down the middle, like two toes pressed into one. The leg it was attached to was covered in white wool but dirtied a bit from walking through the grass. My eyes traveled up the leg as the rest of the creature slowly entered the light. My own imagination had ramped up my fear response to such a degree that actually seeing the thing helped me to calm, even if only a little. It was a sheep, alright. Or maybe a ram? Did female sheep have horns? I did not know. This one had four — two were sticking up fairly straight, but bent outward slightly, while the other two curled down and around its ears. But it was huge. I really could not tell you how big a sheep normally grew to, but I would put this one at about five feet to the shoulder. From where I was sitting, it seemed to tower over me.

I remained absolutely still, hoping against hope that my skill would hide me from it. Its eyes roved over the campsite, drifting from one side to the next as if to take in every detail. Somehow, they never quite managed to lock on to me, gliding past without a hint of recognition.

“Baaaa~~~aaai know you’re here.” The sound exploding out of it shocked me to my core. I do not know how, but I managed to keep still, though the incredibly loud bleat coming from so close to me made me want to flinch so badly it hurt. The giant ram started slowly making its way around the campfire, scenting the air about almost like a predator. Now that I could observe it properly, I could see it open its mouth to speak. And open it did. Just that. There was no movement of the lips nor anything else to account for that voice. Which made it all the more disturbing when it almost sighed out, “Mnaaa~ You smell soooo goooo~~~aaaaaah.”

Sweat began to pour down my face, slipping into uncomfortable places that I never would have noticed had I not been so terrified. One drop beaded onto an eyelash. The urge to blink was overwhelming, but I dared not. The adrenaline from the fear coursing through me was making me unconsciously twitch, and I could feel my heart pulsing up into my neck, the pressure of it pushing me to move as I desperately tried to hold perfectly still. Each and every breath sounded like the crashing of the ocean to my ears. I could not fathom why that ram had not found me yet.

Naturally, it was then that another surge of Energy crashed through my body. I clenched my eyes shut tightly as I desperately seized up, struggled not to scream as the sweet yet terrible life slammed through me. Damn your eyes, Jax! Can you not take a break? Here I was, about to wet myself while a giant sheep monster searched for me, and his ass was off trying to feed me! Help, for fuck’s sake!

When I finally felt I could control myself, and dared open my eyes again, I saw a thing that would haunt my dreams for the rest of my days. The ram was right in front of me, staring at me with those eyes. Those eyes… they were not right. A sheep should have rectangular pupils like the prey animals they are. This one had the eyes of a cat. Eyes with vertical slits. The eyes of a hunter. One green. And one red. I felt its breath on my face as it opened its mouth once more, “Baaaa~~ooooound yooooou…”

And when the woman’s hand burst from out of that ram’s mouth, coming right at my face, I screamed the scream of a man’s very sanity leaping free of his body.

The next few moments were… not what I was expecting. Apparently, the ram was not prepared for me to scream right in its face. I do not know precisely what it was expecting, but it was not that. The ram reared onto its hind legs, and spinning and bucking like a bull trying to dislodge a rider, it vanished into the darkness with the woman’s hand still flailing about out of its mouth.

As the sound of it drifted away, I distinctly heard the voice again, wailing miserably, “No! Go back, you cursed animal! He was right there! Donuuuuuuum!”

There was a pause while I sat there in total shock. What… What had just happened?

And then the entire Dungeon burst into laughter. It was mad. I was mad! The laughter had no source. It was everywhere and nowhere. The air reverberated with it, echoing back in on itself over and over again until the very ground thrummed with its vibrations. Clapping my hands to my ears, I screamed again. And then I laughed. And screamed some more.

And then it stopped. For a moment, there was utter silence. Only the wind drifting lazily through the grasses all around me broke the stillness — and my own shuddering breaths. Slowly, I collapsed to the ground. And then I heard footsteps running toward me.

“Donum! Donum, hold on!” Jax’s voice called.

When they burst into the circle of light from the fire, they found me curled into a ball, weeping uncontrollably.

Sherr Hess slid to a stop and cast about warily, searching for danger, while Jax ran up to me and gripped my shoulder, “Donum? What happened? Ye be injured, man?”

It took me quite a while before I could control myself enough to actually speak. When I finally did, the only thing I could manage was, “I… I…”

“What? What happened?” he coaxed me, naked worry on his face.

“I d-don’t… I don’t know!”