Winter had settled upon Japan. Other than the bright Christmas lights set across the neighborhood, the only addition to the atmosphere was the snow that had settled across the street.

For young and naive me, it was pretty much my dream come true for winter to arrive.

It seemed childish for my age, I know, but I couldn’t bother judging myself for it. It was stunning, even for someone like me, to be able to set up a snowman or try to create a massive snowball with what I saw as an unlimited source of snow.

While working on this snowman, I kept getting these small glances from the corner of the wall. Every time I exchanged looks, I noticed a short brown-haired girl peeking over from the wall before retreating. By how she withdrew, she had already given a shy and meek attitude to most social situations.

Her name was Hano Aki. We were neighbors, yet had never formally met each other outside of school. The only way we could’ve met was if our parents had arranged for us to meet up and talk with each other or if we were paired together in Art club for an activity during my brief time there.

“Do you need something?” I responded while pushing a snowball over.

“No…” Hano approached over, her face almost concealed by the scarf and beanie she had, “Sorry if I interrupted you.

“It’s alright"

I continued with my snowman, only to realize that I had forgotten something critical to a snowman.

While standing there, Hano walked up towards me, digging her hands into her pockets to reveal a bunch of gray oval-shaped rocks she conveniently had.

“May I?”

“Sure…”

Hano placed the pebbles over the snowball’s face.

“Thanks Aki-san”

“No problem…” Hano looked away, “so… what do you plan to do for the holidays?”

“Nothing much… I’d rather just enjoy it as it is…”

“Yeah, same for me…”

We remained in silence for a moment. I wasn’t exactly the most introverted when compared to Hano, but since she had pushed herself to ask me a question, all I could do now was try and muster up something.

“So uh, do you take art classes outside of school?”

I nodded in response.

“I’ve taken up art classes before… I’m not exactly the… best. But I do draw from time to time" I scratched the back of my head.

“Well… not to sound pushy, but can I see what you’ve drawn?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I need some ideas… I’ve been quite empty recently in terms of my ideas”

“Sure, I guess. Do you want me to send some photos of my work?”

“Sorry, if it sounds weird, but how about you come with me Ryu-kun?”

“Uh… why?”

“It’d be best to see the art in front of you instead of a screen”

“Fine"

We walked over to the front door.

“Ah, Aki-san. Who’s the boy behind you?”

“Our neighbor… Ryu-kun”

“Nice to meet you” I bowed.

“Please come in. Make yourself at home”

We continued up the stairs, with Hano reluctantly hanging her beanie and jacket over it.

“Anyways Mum, do you happen to know where you used to store the paintings?” Aki hung her beanie and jacket over.

“Your paintings? It should be over here”

“Thanks”

Aki opened the two small doors, grabbing onto a pile of painting canvases covered by a white sheet.

“So, Aki-san…” I reached out for my phone to reveal to her one of my drawings, “What do you think?”

The first canvas was just a contemporary landscape of an open field, with a red house on a hill to the right.

“Did you make this art piece last year Ryu-kun?”

“Is it obvious?”

“I could tell you took inspiration from our social studies class”

“Yeah… I’m not that original…”

Hano grabbed a nearby portrait from her room, revealing a photo of one of her landscape projects. She was a natural artist.

“Do you like my drawing, Tanaka-kun?”

If I said I liked it, it’d be an understatement.

“Of course… you’ve done quite well with the contrast considering your color choices. Not to mention how attractive that mountain looked”

“It’s surprising to know that you’ve taken notes on the principles and theory behind it since you’ve mainly been drawing whatever you liked”

“I don’t zone out that much”

“By the way, Tanaka-kun… can I ask you something?”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Go on?”

“Can we meet up after the school break? I have this piece that I’ve been working on but I think I’ll be finished in a week and a half"

“Uh, sure. I’m looking forward to what you’ll bring"

“Alright… I’ll be going now"

“Let me lead you out… for the sake of courtesy of course…”

As Hano led me to the front door, I noticed a sort of smile across her face before she covered it with her scarf.

“See you Aki-san"

“Bye…”

Ever since that meeting, we had started to meet up often in school to exchange art pieces and later talk to each other.

At first, I denied my friendship with Hano. But as we started meeting, it felt as if I didn’t mind hanging out with her.

Hano had a more cheerful and optimistic side of her that she didn’t bring out often until we met up. Before I even realized it, I and Hano were spilling secrets and joking around while doing art projects.

I had my first friend.

But that didn’t last long.

One afternoon, Aki’s face looked quite sad, to say the least. At first, I thought it was just a deceased relative, but this persisted for the next two weeks.

I was in the Student Council at the time, so it was hard to simply meet up with her during the end of school.

“Is everything alright Aki-san?” I asked as I sat opposite her at a secluded lunch table.

“Yea…” Aki’s gloom continued, with her face lowered onto the table.

“You haven’t been eating much recently by the looks of it. Are you sure everything’s fine?”

Aki turned over to me, giving out an exasperated smile.

“No offense, but you worry too much Ryu-kun”

“Do I not have a reason to worry? I know you aren’t the type to tell me about issues…”

“I’m fine"

“... suit yourself then"

I’m not usually an emotionally perceptive person, to be honest. But perhaps I’ve read Aki like an open book.

The problem is I wasn’t entirely sure. My Council meetings continued until the end of the Year. By then, I could truly help Aki.

Aki just needed to hold out.

All I’ve done was report them to the teachers. Not even a direct meeting or confrontation worked since my schedule had been so packed that not even lunch was an opportunity.

Absences were almost nonexistent so having free time to do such was trivial. The senior girls I had suspected of bullying were usually late to class, so confronting them in the morning was almost impossible.

I’ll admit. I was a bit lazy as well.

In my last semester of Junior High School, health restrictions came across the world because of COVID-19. For some reason, instead of throwing us into online classes, we had to contend with face-to-face learning under certain restrictions.

For me, I had to take up the undesirable role of entering Student Council meetings in a small room with a window that could only be seen from the inside. So most of the time I’d be distracted by some misbehaving student or just a large crowd outside the hallway when discussing something important.

During one of my meetings, I heard a loud bang outside my window, followed by laughter. I couldn’t see who was on the other side due to the curtains.

Usually, I’d rush out and tell whoever it was to knock it out.

“Everything alright Tanaka-kun?” A voice came from my headphones while I turned to look at the window.

“Yep… just some delinquents fooling around” I pressed my mic close to my mouth.

“You should handle them”

“I’m alright…”

The meeting ended shortly. As I left the room, I almost tripped over a small pen left on the ground. It was Aki’s. Over something trivial such as a pen, I had almost come to a weird conclusion.

“Aki-san?” I looked over at her,

“What’s up?” Aki’s face lit up.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead…”

“Have you been getting bullied recently?”

“What made you come to that conclusion?”

“I heard a loud bang close to my office yesterday. When I came over later on, I noticed your pen on the ground” I passed the pen to Aki.

“Oh, thank you!” Aki smiled, “I’m not getting bullied. Don’t worry about me”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it!” Hano smiled, “Whatever you've been hearing recently, don’t worry about it. Alright?”

“I guess…”

After the end of our exams, Aki had stopped attending classes.

At first, I assumed that she was sick or decided to take advantage of the open two weeks to fit in as much time to visit her relatives. But after a few weeks, I started passing by her house.

Aki was never a phone type of person, so I never had her contacts. We were mainly dependent on just meeting up in school and agreeing to hang out somewhere. It didn’t help that COVID restricted our movement, so even after our exams, we barely met.

I did feel bad for Aki since she has started to develop a withdrawn social life compared to her peers. After all, I’ve indirectly neglected our relationship in my pursuit of academic success. I had to make it up to her.

At the end of the semester, I decided to stop by Aki's house. Contrary to when I had visited her last time, it seemed dead. Nobody was inside. I left shortly, assuming that Aki had decided to visit her relatives.

However, on the first day in Senior High, I noticed that Aki was mysteriously absent. It was already weird she was absent last week, but now it seems critical.

“Anybody home?” I called out to the front gate after pressing the doorbell button.

Usually, when you’d click on the doorbell button near the front gate, you could hear the chime from outside. Yet, paired with the darkness of the house and the nonfunctioning doorbell, I felt that something was off.

Nudging my hand over the gate, I realized that it was left unlocked. Perhaps they were still there?

I slowly nudged the front door open, taking a deep breath in the hopes that I wouldn’t end up running into a robber or the family unpacking their suitcases in the awkward dark. I was met with a pitch-black hallway.

What?

Questions started rushing through my head despite the obvious conclusion being there. I didn’t understand why Aki would instantly move.

Running up the stairs with a flashlight over my hand, I made my way into Aki’s room. Barging the door open, I was met with a dull and empty space with only a table.

What was once Aki’s art studio which we had collaborated on during the Winter breaks had turned into something bland.

“What…” I muttered to myself before closing the door shortly.

It all didn’t make sense for someone like me.

Would a friend leave someone behind and not give them a notice? Even if they were being bullied to an unknown point that nobody could lend help? Was I the reason for Aki’s trouble? Could’ve I done better? Was it my fault?

I left the room shortly.

Despite being alone, I had this urge to keep myself composed. Yet I couldn’t contain what I was thinking at that moment. I had to release it somehow. Even if it meant looking like a fool in the public.

I closed the door to Aki’s house behind me, rushing shortly to my house.

By now, I had started to secretly tear up. It felt completely foreign to me. I hadn’t had this feeling almost at all. This feeling of betrayal after secretly caring for someone.

Sure, Aki and I had a sort of weird relationship. But despite my emotional facades, I genuinely wanted to see her smile and talk to each other. She was the only person that I could release my tension to. Somebody I could trust and ask for advice.

From that point on. I felt as if those moments I had with Aki. They were the peak of my life. It was as if I was blessed with a friend, but I had taken it for granted.

I had promised myself that I would never make another friend. Because I knew that someone like me would fail to truly meet that standard. Because my self-centeredness would clash with my relationships and end up hurting them.

I haven’t had any friends ever since that day.